hairenergizer
Active Member
Pressure is easing day by day. I just thank God it's not the first day because it was really bad. I've lost weight @ 180.
Thread for the heartbroken
- Thread starter SurferBabe
- Start date
MzLady78
Well-Known Member
Actually feeling a little better, not sure why.But I have been super busy. Maybe that's it. Coming to the realization that while this may not be what I think I want, it's for the best. That's a comforting feeling.
Every now and then I get a pang or twinge for him, but it's happening less and less.
I also realize that he portrayed himself as something he is not, so I wasn't in love with "him" but the representative that he could no longer keep up with after a year and a half.
Mmmm hmmm..
I'm starting to think I fell for the "representative" myself. This is not the same man from 4 years ago. Not even close. But that last convo was a real eye-opener. So it's fine for me to text you and see how you're doing but because you're "going through a lot and keeping to yourself", I shouldn't expect to the same. Wow. Ok. He has just completely shut me out. But maybe it's better that way.
proudofmynaps
Well-Known Member
Sorry to hear that he hurt you once again. I almost texted my ex today but I know I would have ended up with hurt feelings. Still thinking about this negro he clearly didn't love me unconditionally like our vows said. I think it will be a whole year before this hurt goes away.
Last edited:
MzLady78
Well-Known Member
You know what? He didn't hurt me, I hurt myself. I've had more than enough evidence that I am no longer a factor in his life in any way, shape or form. I got nostalgic because I was somewhere we used to go and had a moment of weakness. I'm gonna try my damnest to not have another one.
crlsweetie912
Well-Known Member
It's hard. Don't beat yourself up. It's a part of the process.
crlsweetie912
Well-Known Member
I really really wanna do something super vengeful and evil. I know I would feel horrible if I actually did anything. Just feels like I always finish last. Be kind, faithful, loyal and get stepped on. Smh....
proudofmynaps
Well-Known Member
crlsweetie912 I know the feeling but in the end it would be only temporary happiness. Keep being sweet and loyal and the right man will come into your life. Come join us over in the Christian forum
http://www.longhaircareforum.com/showthread.php?t=52169
Last edited:
lavaflow99
In search of the next vacation
That nostalgia can get you. Thinking about the good old days. Been there and done that. Powerful stuff.
Not sure if it's healthy (but worked well for me), but maybe put all his negative qualities to the forefront. Make a list if you have to. So whenever you start reminiscing, quickly replace it with a thought of trait of his you can't stand. So that eventually all you can recall is his non-redeeming qualities. Did that with my relationship (first ever BF that went on for 4 years too long) when it finally ended (5 years ago) and it helped (took about one year). I don't hate him now at all. He is an afterthought. I get too excited now when I think about the bullet that I dodged big time.
I came across some pics of us a couple months ago and I was surprised about the happy memories captured that we had which I completely forgot about. LOL. He actually randomly called a few weeks ago (hadn't spoken to him in years) and felt indifferent and wondering why he was taking of my time making small talk.
So like I said, probably don't the healthiest textbook way of moving on, but worked beautifully for me.
MzLady78
Well-Known Member
That nostalgia can get you. Thinking about the good old days. Been there and done that. Powerful stuff.
Not sure if it's healthy (but worked well for me), but maybe put all his negative qualities to the forefront. Make a list if you have to. So whenever you start reminiscing, quickly replace it with a thought of trait of his you can't stand. So that eventually all you can recall is his non-redeeming qualities. Did that with my relationship (first ever BF that went on for 4 years too long) when it finally ended (5 years ago) and it helped (took about one year). I don't hate him now at all. He is an afterthought. I get too excited now when I think about the bullet that I dodged big time.
I came across some pics of us a couple months ago and I was surprised about the happy memories captured that we had which I completely forgot about. LOL. He actually randomly called a few weeks ago (hadn't spoken to him in years) and felt indifferent and wondering why he was taking of my time making small talk.
I don't think it's unhealthy at all. I've seen this suggested many times.
TBH, I don't really have much negative to say about him as a person. What I do try to remember is that he came with a s**t-load of baggage. I'm talking about the kind that they make you check in, his stuff does not fit in a carry-on.
If I'm being honest with myself, would have been able to handle it long term? Was that REALLY the best I could do? I don't think so. I think his purpose, well one at least, was to show me that I have to start making better decisions and thinking with my head. I knew 4 years ago that getting involved with him was a bad idea, that it was never going to be what I needed/wanted it to be. I tried to walk away a number of times, but I chose the pain that came with having him in my life over the pain of being without him and moving on. All I did was postpone the inevitable. But now I know better, and will be smarter in the future.
Last edited:
hairenergizer
Active Member
Sorry but in my spirit tonight.... I told the storm
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ghvo32n7Tgc
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ghvo32n7Tgc
Country gal
Well-Known Member
I have to see my ex tomorrow. First time in 2 months. I am not looking forward to it. I don't have the same intensity anymore concerning him. It is helping that other men are noticing me. I just wish I could have a nice, single man that is available. He moved on and probably ready to get married. I chose to be alone for a year.
Mary J has a new song that I love. It took a whole damn year. I can relate to every word. It took me a whole damn year to repair my body.
Mary J has a new song that I love. It took a whole damn year. I can relate to every word. It took me a whole damn year to repair my body.
crlsweetie912
Well-Known Member
SuchMagnificent
Taking a Break from Posting
Came home today exhausted from work. Looking at my phone, willing it to ring..for a text to come through, something..but we still playing this game. I HAVE to move on. This back and forth isnt healthy. I cant completely get over you if you still have one foot in the door.
hairenergizer
Active Member
Exactly. I certainly can relate.
Rastafarai
Well-Known Member
Just wanted to put these songs here. I hope it lifts your spirits. Have a wonderful weekend ladies!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-hdqJ2QtpE4
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZzRki8Edj5A
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qSxyffSB7wA
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MPGjZ4gjOR8
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0RxoILzm-RY
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8UVNT4wvIGY
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p-baoSWy8jY
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-hdqJ2QtpE4
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZzRki8Edj5A
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qSxyffSB7wA
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MPGjZ4gjOR8
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0RxoILzm-RY
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8UVNT4wvIGY
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p-baoSWy8jY
Last edited:
MzLady78
Well-Known Member
Great playlist. Funny you have "Somebody That I Used to Know" in there, it's been playing on repeat in my head this week.
"But you didn't have to cut me off
Make out like it never happened and that we were nothing
And I don't even need your love
But you treat me like a stranger and that feels so rough"
Rastafarai
Well-Known Member
Great playlist. Funny you have "Somebody That I Used to Know" in there, it's been playing on repeat in my head this week.
"But you didn't have to cut me off
Make out like it never happened and that we were nothing
And I don't even need your love
But you treat me like a stranger and that feels so rough"
Really? It's stuck in my head too, lol. It's so addictive.
. I hope you get out the house this weekend. Also unrelated, but I hope the new job is going well, too. :wink2:
MzLady78
Well-Known Member
Really? It's stuck in my head too, lol. It's so addictive.
Also unrelated, but I hope the new job is going well, too. :wink2:
Yeah, the part I posted is the part that I really relate to. I'm out as we speak, having a good time, but I just happened to click through your links and see that song come up.
And the job is going great, thanks for asking!
Country gal
Well-Known Member
Well now my ex is engaged. She is the fiancee now. I remember when he use to say he would never date again if we ever broke up or if I died. He moved on quick. She has my leftovers and I wish her luck with it. Leftovers can be so stale at times.
Country gal
Well-Known Member
I like So Gone by Monica. I am feeling this Drake. I feel this way. I am up right now and you suck now.
https://soundcloud.com/octobersveryown/drake-how-bout-now
https://soundcloud.com/octobersveryown/drake-how-bout-now
Smiley79
Well-Known Member
Country gal I send you big hugs girlie. Your shining smile is so strengthening to see you be strong and positive through this all.
Last edited:
proudofmynaps
Well-Known Member
In a funk today. Been thinking about him all day. I really want to be done with this heartbreak. Why he have to break my heart?
Because he didn't know a good thing when he had it!
Country gal
Well-Known Member
MzLady78
Well-Known Member
So, I saw Stevie Wonder live on Tuesday, and it was amazing. He did the entire "Songs in the Key of Life" album. There were actually a lot of songs I didn't know, even though I'm a huge Stevie fan. One was this song "Summer Soft", which I'm totally obsessed with now. There's one part that really stuck out to me, it made me think of the convo me and crlsweetie912 were having about falling for the representative.
"And so you wait to see what he'll do
Is it sun or snow for you?
But it breaks your heart in two
Cause you've been fooled by April
And he's gone..."
I swear if this song hadn't come out 2 years before I was even born, I'd swear he was reading my mind. But honestly, I've been doing pretty ok lately. I'm really trying to focus on the things that are good in my life. I'm well on my way to being able to have my own space again. I like my job and my coworkers. I'm gonna have a nephew to love and spoil to death soon. I have so many people in my life that genuinely care about me, and are always supporting and encouraging me. Why focus on one fool who didn't value me and my presence in his life when there are plenty of others who do?
"And so you wait to see what he'll do
Is it sun or snow for you?
But it breaks your heart in two
Cause you've been fooled by April
And he's gone..."
I swear if this song hadn't come out 2 years before I was even born, I'd swear he was reading my mind.
But honestly, I've been doing pretty ok lately. I'm really trying to focus on the things that are good in my life. I'm well on my way to being able to have my own space again. I like my job and my coworkers. I'm gonna have a nephew to love and spoil to death soon. I have so many people in my life that genuinely care about me, and are always supporting and encouraging me. Why focus on one fool who didn't value me and my presence in his life when there are plenty of others who do?
crlsweetie912
Well-Known Member
Man that song is beautiful! LOVE IT....So, I saw Stevie Wonder live on Tuesday, and it was amazing. He did the entire "Songs in the Key of Life" album. There were actually a lot of songs I didn't know, even though I'm a huge Stevie fan. One was this song "Summer Soft", which I'm totally obsessed with now. There's one part that really stuck out to me, it made me think of the convo me and crlsweetie912 were having about falling for the representative.
"And so you wait to see what he'll do
Is it sun or snow for you?
But it breaks your heart in two
Cause you've been fooled by April
And he's gone..."
I swear if this song hadn't come out 2 years before I was even born, I'd swear he was reading my mind.
MzLady78
Well-Known Member
Me too. Pretty sure I've listened to it at least 50 times since then.
Having heard the whole album now, I definitely get why it's considered one of the greatest ever made. The lyrical content is amazing. And the music? Some of it is so ahead of its time. "All Day Sucker" sounds like something from the mid- 80s, not 1976!
Anyway, I'm going off topic, but I'm still kind of on a high from the experience.
Last edited:
crlsweetie912
Well-Known Member
Me too. Pretty sure I've listened to it at least 5 times since then.
Having heard the whole album now, I definitely get why it's considered one of the greatest ever made. The lyrical content is amazing. And the music? Some of it is so ahead of its time. "All Day Sucker" sounds like something from the mid- 80s, not 1976!
Anyway, I'm going off topic, but I'm still kind of on a high from the experience.
All the while I'm thinking dang this song is almost 40 years old, and you can still listen to it and get the "feeling" that was intended to come from it, and repeat it and listen to it over and over and go to a place....
Made me sad that the music of today has degenerated to what it is. Can you imagine listening to Anaconda, and Lifestyle 40 years from now?
MzLady78
Well-Known Member
All the while I'm thinking dang this song is almost 40 years old, and you can still listen to it and get the "feeling" that was intended to come from it, and repeat it and listen to it over and over and go to a place....
Made me sad that the music of today has degenerated to what it is. Can you imagine listening to Anaconda, and Lifestyle 40 years from now?
I feel the same way about an LHCF fav who shall not be named.
Similar threads
