FemmeFatale
Well-Known Member
Good Morning ladies, so I'm subscribed to this cool website and just about everyday the blogger sends out lovely tidbits..here's what she sent today:
Have you ever walked into the middle of a party and suddenly
felt naked?
No matter how tight you wrap your sweater around you, you
still feel exposed. Everyone seems to have found their niche
group and is in deep conversation. You look around and
wonder where you fit in. You feel your stomach gather in
knots and you suddenly have visions of 5th grade when none of
the other kids would choose you to be on their softball
team. You feel alone and can't seem the find the right words
to begin a conversation with anyone.
When you find yourself in this situation, you have to take a
deep breath and remember that you are a confident, beautiful
women who is as interesting and worthy of attention as
anybody else! The way to become comfortable enough to strike
up conversations with strangers is by first learning how to
LISTEN before you speak.
Listen to the conversation already in progress and find the
perfect spot for you to enter into the discussion. If
someone is discussing the current surge in housing prices
and you are thinking about selling your home in the next
year, tell them that! If you don't understand what a group
is discussing, be honest and tell them you're curious to
know more about their discussion because it sounds
interesting. It's ok to admit when you don't understand
something. I do this myself when I speak with customers in
my dance studio. If I find we're talking about a subject I
know very little about, I admit to lacking knowledge in that
area and ask for clarification.
Learning how to join in on a conversation is important to
creating a presence. But this is only the beginning. I
provide the secrets you need to know to command presence
when you walk into room and subtly attract the very people
you want to attract in Sexy in Seconds DVD kit:
http://www.sensualitysecrets.com/go/ar39dvd
Let me give you a "free" tip by telling you how to position
yourself so you can attract that positive attention you
deserve.
You can work your body language like a pro, but if you're
not positioned properly, people will notice.
In ballroom dancing, positioning is crucial. I give thought
to where I make each move, in front of the segment of crowd
that suits me best. Once you've found the right spot, it's
one less thing to think about, so you can play full on, with
greater results. This is called environmental positioning.
The four key components of environmental positioning are
visibility, accessibility, approachability and sincerity.
1) Visibility
In a well-lit place, sit or stand where you are noticed.
While it's important to work the whole room, get people's
attention by working the room in sections. The people you
are trying to attract should be able to take you in from all
angles, maybe just not all at once! This might involve
changing spots throughout the evening or holding onto that
one choice vantage point once you land it.
...A girlfriend and I tried this out one night in a club. We
walked in, headed toward the bar and found a spot that had
great access to the dance floor and passersby...
2) Accessibility
Find a place where someone can easily get to you. While the
most secluded banquette might seem like a choice spot worth
tipping the host for, it might be too inaccessible for a
stranger -- especially if you're surrounded by friends.
Position yourself so it's easy to break away from your gang
without the stranger feeling as if he has disrupted a
private party, or that he will be grilled by everyone as he
tries to talk to you. If you're with a group or a friend,
step away from them every so often to make a circuitous
visit to the powder room.
...Once my friend and I sat at the bar, we made sure not to
turn our backs on the dance floor. Everyone else at the bar
was facing the bartender, but we sat sideways facing each
other with our legs crossed towards the dance floor...
3) Approachability
Keep your body relaxed, whether you're standing or sitting.
Clutching your purse or coat close to your chest might make
it appear as though you are uncomfortable or ready to
leave.
Don't be deeply engrossed in a serious dialogue for minutes
on end with your friends. Keep the banter light so that
you're laughing frequently! A gentleman wouldn't want to
interrupt a serious thinker mid-conversation. Allow for
lulls where you look around, clearly checking things out.
This allows you to appear approachable to men.
Put your best face forward. That means not covering it up
with your hands, sunglasses or floppy hat. And of course,
smile!
In addition ladies, when circulating around a room, do chat
with the women first to build a base of friends and allies.
Who knows, they might turn out to know the guy you're
interested in. Or they might offer assistance when you need
a safety pin later in the rest room. Joke a little and be
generous with the compliments so as to defuse all cattiness
and competitiveness. Eventually work men into the mix,
chatting them up as you flit about.
When talking freely with both genders, use a combination of
different sensual gestures, such as direct eye contact,
smiling, laughing and touching (extremities only). The
effect is highly alluring -- men will notice and be
fascinated by a confident woman who relishes in being
sensual, being desired and having fun with her present
situation!
...We positioned ourselves so anyone could step in and order a
drink.When women tried to order, we took their order and
gave it to the bartender. Then other women began to do the
same, and soon we had a flood of women placing orders
through us. Men began to notice, and they started to prevail
upon our good graces as well. By the end of the evening, we
had made friends with men, women and couples... not to
mention the added bonus of getting free drinks from the
bartender for helping with the overflow of his business...
4) Sincerity
Be open, patient and earnest with the new people you meet.
Don't approach someone you've just met like you're
holding an interview; pummeling him with questions about a
job, schooling, etc. Your interactions are not about
efficiency. They ought to be rooted in sincerity, being open
to wherever the moment and dialogue takes you both. Don't
let any negative experience take away from your innocent and
playful outlook towards men... Have fun without being
pretentious.
Remember how much courage it takes for a man to ask a woman
to dance or even just to chat. So make it easy for him to
have the opportunity to make the request. A man must be
reassured that you're not going to embarrass him by
rejecting him rudely in front of other people.
During the research for my book, I interviewed many men and
the prevailing complaint was women's indifference and
aloofness toward any approach they made. I believe that as
long as men are respectful, women should be welcoming. Treat
others the way you want to be treated.
...Because men noticed that we were light-hearted, friendly
and outgoing, they were not uncomfortable in approaching us
sitting at the bar. Men tried out some wacky lines on us
that night. But we'd laugh with them at first, before using
our body language (turning away, putting barriers between
us, avoiding long eye contact) to show that we weren't
interested. We did the opposite when we enjoyed their
company. A dance instructor for 15 years, I know how nervous
men get about asking a woman to dance. And I believe that
every man should have a shot at a dance if he asks with
courtesy and respect...
Once you've positioned yourself for a comfortable approach,
it's time to move onto the more advanced secrets of
sensuality.
For loads more ideas on how to attract a man and keep him,
check out my Sexy in Seconds DVD kit. It's filled with
videos that provides simple tips any woman can do to
heighten attraction and hold a man's attention. You can
continue your transformation into a sensual woman here:
http://www.sensualitysecrets.com/go/ar39dvd
Here's to you becoming the women you can and were MEANT to be!
Patty Contenta
Ballroom Dance Champion and Sensuality Expert
And author of "Sensuality Secrets: How To Seduce
Your Lover Without Being Noticed"
http://www.sensualitysecrets.com
------------------------------------------------------
Sensuality Secrets(tm) is a trademark of Sensuality
Secrets Inc.
P.O. Box 61025 St.Henri
Montreal, Quebec
H4C 3R4
Canada
_____________________________________________
By reading and accepting this newsletter you agree
to all of the following: You understand that this is
simply a set of opinions (and not advice). This is
to be used for entertainment, and not considered
as 'professional advice'. You are responsible for
any use of the information in this email, and hold
Sensuality Secrets Inc. and all members and
affiliates harmless in any claim or event. If you are
below eighteen years old, please remove yourself
from this email list.
Sensuality Secrets
P.O. Box 72150
151 Atwater
Montreal, Quebec
H3J 2Z6
Canada
Have you ever walked into the middle of a party and suddenly
felt naked?
No matter how tight you wrap your sweater around you, you
still feel exposed. Everyone seems to have found their niche
group and is in deep conversation. You look around and
wonder where you fit in. You feel your stomach gather in
knots and you suddenly have visions of 5th grade when none of
the other kids would choose you to be on their softball
team. You feel alone and can't seem the find the right words
to begin a conversation with anyone.
When you find yourself in this situation, you have to take a
deep breath and remember that you are a confident, beautiful
women who is as interesting and worthy of attention as
anybody else! The way to become comfortable enough to strike
up conversations with strangers is by first learning how to
LISTEN before you speak.
Listen to the conversation already in progress and find the
perfect spot for you to enter into the discussion. If
someone is discussing the current surge in housing prices
and you are thinking about selling your home in the next
year, tell them that! If you don't understand what a group
is discussing, be honest and tell them you're curious to
know more about their discussion because it sounds
interesting. It's ok to admit when you don't understand
something. I do this myself when I speak with customers in
my dance studio. If I find we're talking about a subject I
know very little about, I admit to lacking knowledge in that
area and ask for clarification.
Learning how to join in on a conversation is important to
creating a presence. But this is only the beginning. I
provide the secrets you need to know to command presence
when you walk into room and subtly attract the very people
you want to attract in Sexy in Seconds DVD kit:
http://www.sensualitysecrets.com/go/ar39dvd
Let me give you a "free" tip by telling you how to position
yourself so you can attract that positive attention you
deserve.
You can work your body language like a pro, but if you're
not positioned properly, people will notice.
In ballroom dancing, positioning is crucial. I give thought
to where I make each move, in front of the segment of crowd
that suits me best. Once you've found the right spot, it's
one less thing to think about, so you can play full on, with
greater results. This is called environmental positioning.
The four key components of environmental positioning are
visibility, accessibility, approachability and sincerity.
1) Visibility
In a well-lit place, sit or stand where you are noticed.
While it's important to work the whole room, get people's
attention by working the room in sections. The people you
are trying to attract should be able to take you in from all
angles, maybe just not all at once! This might involve
changing spots throughout the evening or holding onto that
one choice vantage point once you land it.
...A girlfriend and I tried this out one night in a club. We
walked in, headed toward the bar and found a spot that had
great access to the dance floor and passersby...
2) Accessibility
Find a place where someone can easily get to you. While the
most secluded banquette might seem like a choice spot worth
tipping the host for, it might be too inaccessible for a
stranger -- especially if you're surrounded by friends.
Position yourself so it's easy to break away from your gang
without the stranger feeling as if he has disrupted a
private party, or that he will be grilled by everyone as he
tries to talk to you. If you're with a group or a friend,
step away from them every so often to make a circuitous
visit to the powder room.
...Once my friend and I sat at the bar, we made sure not to
turn our backs on the dance floor. Everyone else at the bar
was facing the bartender, but we sat sideways facing each
other with our legs crossed towards the dance floor...
3) Approachability
Keep your body relaxed, whether you're standing or sitting.
Clutching your purse or coat close to your chest might make
it appear as though you are uncomfortable or ready to
leave.
Don't be deeply engrossed in a serious dialogue for minutes
on end with your friends. Keep the banter light so that
you're laughing frequently! A gentleman wouldn't want to
interrupt a serious thinker mid-conversation. Allow for
lulls where you look around, clearly checking things out.
This allows you to appear approachable to men.
Put your best face forward. That means not covering it up
with your hands, sunglasses or floppy hat. And of course,
smile!
In addition ladies, when circulating around a room, do chat
with the women first to build a base of friends and allies.
Who knows, they might turn out to know the guy you're
interested in. Or they might offer assistance when you need
a safety pin later in the rest room. Joke a little and be
generous with the compliments so as to defuse all cattiness
and competitiveness. Eventually work men into the mix,
chatting them up as you flit about.
When talking freely with both genders, use a combination of
different sensual gestures, such as direct eye contact,
smiling, laughing and touching (extremities only). The
effect is highly alluring -- men will notice and be
fascinated by a confident woman who relishes in being
sensual, being desired and having fun with her present
situation!
...We positioned ourselves so anyone could step in and order a
drink.When women tried to order, we took their order and
gave it to the bartender. Then other women began to do the
same, and soon we had a flood of women placing orders
through us. Men began to notice, and they started to prevail
upon our good graces as well. By the end of the evening, we
had made friends with men, women and couples... not to
mention the added bonus of getting free drinks from the
bartender for helping with the overflow of his business...
4) Sincerity
Be open, patient and earnest with the new people you meet.
Don't approach someone you've just met like you're
holding an interview; pummeling him with questions about a
job, schooling, etc. Your interactions are not about
efficiency. They ought to be rooted in sincerity, being open
to wherever the moment and dialogue takes you both. Don't
let any negative experience take away from your innocent and
playful outlook towards men... Have fun without being
pretentious.
Remember how much courage it takes for a man to ask a woman
to dance or even just to chat. So make it easy for him to
have the opportunity to make the request. A man must be
reassured that you're not going to embarrass him by
rejecting him rudely in front of other people.
During the research for my book, I interviewed many men and
the prevailing complaint was women's indifference and
aloofness toward any approach they made. I believe that as
long as men are respectful, women should be welcoming. Treat
others the way you want to be treated.
...Because men noticed that we were light-hearted, friendly
and outgoing, they were not uncomfortable in approaching us
sitting at the bar. Men tried out some wacky lines on us
that night. But we'd laugh with them at first, before using
our body language (turning away, putting barriers between
us, avoiding long eye contact) to show that we weren't
interested. We did the opposite when we enjoyed their
company. A dance instructor for 15 years, I know how nervous
men get about asking a woman to dance. And I believe that
every man should have a shot at a dance if he asks with
courtesy and respect...
Once you've positioned yourself for a comfortable approach,
it's time to move onto the more advanced secrets of
sensuality.
For loads more ideas on how to attract a man and keep him,
check out my Sexy in Seconds DVD kit. It's filled with
videos that provides simple tips any woman can do to
heighten attraction and hold a man's attention. You can
continue your transformation into a sensual woman here:
http://www.sensualitysecrets.com/go/ar39dvd
Here's to you becoming the women you can and were MEANT to be!
Patty Contenta
Ballroom Dance Champion and Sensuality Expert
And author of "Sensuality Secrets: How To Seduce
Your Lover Without Being Noticed"
http://www.sensualitysecrets.com
------------------------------------------------------
Sensuality Secrets(tm) is a trademark of Sensuality
Secrets Inc.
P.O. Box 61025 St.Henri
Montreal, Quebec
H4C 3R4
Canada
_____________________________________________
By reading and accepting this newsletter you agree
to all of the following: You understand that this is
simply a set of opinions (and not advice). This is
to be used for entertainment, and not considered
as 'professional advice'. You are responsible for
any use of the information in this email, and hold
Sensuality Secrets Inc. and all members and
affiliates harmless in any claim or event. If you are
below eighteen years old, please remove yourself
from this email list.
Sensuality Secrets
P.O. Box 72150
151 Atwater
Montreal, Quebec
H3J 2Z6
Canada
That website is a gem. I'll be scouring it. Not sure if I shared on here but I read another blogger who similarly sends out great tidbits as well. The full version isn't free but I'm still learning a ton from the free updates. Here it is: 
I'm going to have to check it out! 
So I would LOVE to figure out how to change this perception of me. It's the theme of my relationships.
Yes, you understand me. I definitely have walls up and I have adopted the mantra "zero expectations, zero disappointments" which keeps my heart guarded. But I realize that doing that has actually hurt my relationships and now it's hard to tear down those walls. It's almost scary.
