SPINNY: Would you date a man that used to be gay?

I would feel bad for him if sexual abuse scarred him and/or confused him like that. And I couldnt believe he was over dealing with it, and it something I cant relate to or help out with, so nawl.

Also, im very ashamed to say a person like wouldnt be satisfied unless you told me what your ex boyfriends looked like- from that I would imagine who's top or bottom,And...SMH I would def. have to ask questions about how you were getting aroused or enjoyed getting/recieving oral, or the sight or feel of a man. I would always check and see if I saw him looking at his "type", or any kind of homosexual scenes in the media/public, and would just be too quick to leave if i saw anything. I wouldnt even like him to hang out with men. And I would be scared he might go back to it, so I dont think we could ever have a normal family with kids.
 
SweetNic_JA said:
About 9 years ago I met this guy who was super cute. He seemed really nice and funny. We went on the perfect date and he kissed me on the cheek afterwards. It was unexpected but I didn't flip out. Shortly after he kissed me he told me that he used to be a stripper! My blood almost ran cold...I don't play that. No gay men, no bisexual men, no strippers and no jiggalos. You can't pour Robitussin on that and make it all right. He never heard from me again.
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Um, would you happen to remember the name of the strip joint he worked at?

I don't have those "qualms". :giggle:
 
Nope because I don't always want to worry that if we are having a hard patch while married if it got that far that not only would I have to worry about varjays out there but penn too..too much to worry about..I can't compete with that ick..
 
GoddessMaker said:
Nope because I don't always want to worry that if we are having a hard patch while married if it got that far that not only would I have to worry about varjays out there but penn too..too much to worry about..I can't compete with that ick..
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exactly.
 
The answer is no.

However I do find it interesting that this is not the first I've heard of that. I've had a couple friends who are gay who were molested or raped by someone of the same sex.

I had a theory about this (just thoughts) years ago as I keep hearing the same story over and over. I do think there are people born gay, but I also think there's those attracted to both sexes, and those who really felt that they had to be to justify what happened to them (like one friend said that it was a way to make them feel like they had control of the situation. Because then it was bearable if they wanted it in some way). Just throwing that out there. I wonder if someone ever did a study on it?

Anyways back to the topic:
No. Because:
I'm not sure where they're coming from: they could just be in denial, or not. And I don't have time to figure that out meanwhile they're pulling an "I love you Phillip Morris" (for those who haven't seen it: he goes to church, has a family, meanwhile he's hitting up men on the side when he can "resist no longer").

So the answer for me is no. I never put myself in confusing situations that have a possibility of blowing up in my face because frankly I'm not self destructive.
 
I always thought Tyler from the Real World was cute. And Ryan too. :lick: If they ever became straight, I wouldn't mind.

BUT, there's no way after what 20 something years of dating, he's going to forget how men make him feel and all of a sudden only like women. And since he used to be EXCLUSIVELY gay, he basically was saying nothing about a woman excites him. So now he wants to associate his love for men, even the satisfying relationships, to abuse? :nono: Sounds like a lot of issues with self acceptance in there. Once he starts to accept himself he may STOP liking women in that way. There's a lot of emotional things going on in there. I'd prolly just wind up playing therapist anyway.
 
hell no, there is no such thing as 'formerly' gay to me. once you have plunged another mans back door and feasted upon his man meat, yo arse is gay for life. yuck! ♥
 
Depends...

If he does my hair, likes to go shopping, and can sit through Project Runway with me I might have to stay with him.


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No, I would never date a man who used to be gay. Like someone stated earlier, you can not take therapy to become ungay. I'm sorry other person, but I would be very skeptical about dating this man...you would not want to end up like Janet in "For Colored Girls."
 
BostonMaria said:
Depends...

If he does my hair, likes to go shopping, and can sit through Project Runway with me I might have to stay with him.


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:lachen::lachen::lachen::lachen:I am still saying no! I would not knowingly be in a relationship with a gay or bi-sexual man.
But now I have a question- What if you are married to a man for about 10 years then they admit to you that they "used to be gay" What would you all do then?
 
Carisa said:
:lachen::lachen::lachen::lachen:I am still saying no! I would not knowingly be in a relationship with a gay or bi-sexual man.
But now I have a question- What if you are married to a man for about 10 years then they admit to you that they "used to be gay" What would you all do then?
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That's a good question. On principle I wouldn't leave a man for something he did before we were together, unless it was a violent crime or something like that. Can't deny that I'd feel some kind of way though. :ohwell: I'd probably unintentionally withdraw from him so much that HE'D eventually want a divorce. :look:
 
danibeeja_gyal said:
Let me just say that when you have been abused it affects your view of your sexuality, kinda like when kids get raped by an adult and then grow up and rape kids themselves. In this case I don't think he was gay at all, just thought he was because of the rape, and when he healed from the rape he realized his own feelings, but no I could not date him because the thought of me licking his schlong that has been in another man's butt (if he was a top) makes me sick..
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Well unless he's a virgin, it would have ended up in there or in a vagina...

I believe it's possible to be a former gay, especially if its linked to abuse. Its like "used to be promiscuous because of daddy issues" in that respect I guess. I'm not sure if I'd be willing to risk my heart on it though, or my HIV/AIDS negative status (which is one reason I wouldn't get with a previously promiscuous guy but I digress). Sure anyone can have it, but its disproportionately higher among gay men apparently.
 
honeyflaava said:
Aside from that, I honestly just think it's disgusting and could never take him seriously as a man. If he were a bottom, I would always look at him like he was a *****, and if he were a top, I would think of him as a sh*tty peen man who I would NEVER let touch me...
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Wow...:ohwell:

ETA: And btw, not ALL gay men have anal sex. There are ones out there that find it just as 'disgusting' as some people here do.

And also, (this isn't to the person I quoted, just a general question) so you wouldn't mind if a dude had stuck his peen in a female arse? Coz you do know some heterosexuals do anal too, right? Heck, your BF/SO/whatever could have stuck it in his exes arses for all you know. JS...
 
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