I finally made it all the way through this thread and I've greatly enjoyed the discussion. I see two themes recurring: vulnerability and sensuality (as distinguished from sexiness), and I wholeheartedly agree that these are two keys to female attractiveness. Fortunately, they are two traits that can be cultivated regardless of looks, age, class, education, etc.
Coincidentally, the last two weeks, Oprah has had an author by the name of Brene Brown on her Super Soul Sunday hour. This woman (PhD) has written a book called "Daring Greatly" which is all about cultivating authentic connections through vulnerability. It was a really beautiful discussion and right on point with what's being talked about in this thread. I'm gonna get the book soon.
Also, I know some posters have talked about who might be, or who are, black female role models of Sense and Sensuality. At the risk of going to the same well one too many times, I'm gonna go ahead and say that two of my faves, Michelle Obama and Beyonce are both very strong women who at the same time are sensual, vulnerable, and feminine. On the surface, they seem very different, but I think they share similar traits.
I remember reading Barack Obama's autobiography about him meeting Michelle and I'll never forget him saying that despite her high powered position and her initial rebuffing him, he saw vulnerability in her eyes. So interesting. I have seen pictures of them in their early courtship and her body language with him was always highly feminine and even submissive. Although they have had rough patches in their marriage, he has always protected her -- even fiercely so in the public eye. Perhaps that goes back to the early impressions he had of her.
I could say the same thing about Beyonce -- I think Jay sees a vulnerability that we don't see. She, also, despite presenting a fierce, empowered persona, switches to uber-feminine and submissive with Jay. Like Michelle she looks at her man with admiration and respect. Of course, the men they're with deserve admiration and respect -- they picked well.
On a smaller note, like has been mentioned in this thread, Beyonce and Michelle have absolutely gorgeous hands, lol, beautiful, graceful, and always well-manicured. I always notice people's hands and sometimes draw conclusions about their personalities from their hands. I've gotten compliments on my hands and fingers since I've been a little girl and I put a lot of effort into them. Just on Thursday somebody at work who was sitting across the room from me came up to me after a meeting to tell me how they noticed my hands, lol. It's the little things, ladies.
Lastly, I think there might be something else about Michelle and Beyonce that is similar and may have given them a head start on cultivating their femininity: it was modeled for them as they were growing up. They both had strong, yet feminine mothers, and strong, dependable, protective fathers. Not perfect parents, but very good parents. I think having this stable foundation enabled them to not have that hard edge or tough shell that so many of us unfortunately develop. I have often thought that despite all his flaws, Matthew Knowles was the best thing to ever happen to a young Beyonce's career. Yes he was messy, but when it came to his daughter, he was a fierce protector. Somebody as beautiful and talented as she was could have gotten ground up and spit out by the entertainment industry if he hadn't been navigating those shark waters (and she hadn't let him). A lot of black women don't know, and have never known, what it's like to be protected and we have to make a conscious effort to let down our guards when a trustworthy man presents that possibility to us.
Here's to continuing to learn and grow in our unique femininity!
?" I guess he was right, I married him. 
Ironically, post-divorce I turned more into the intern, dating one man at a time. Once, I started dating multiple men I got my Lucie back if that makes any sense.
