Sense and Sensuality ("Loving" Spinny)

I spoke to the "Directrix of Administration" from Mama Gena's School of Womanly Arts today. We had a really great conversation about femininity, embracing it and why building a circle of like minded women is so important. I was pleasantly surprised by her call. I thought it would be a straight sales pitch but we actually just chatted about what I thought of the book, what things I was doing to further my knowledge and other reading material that might be useful. We traded email addresses and got off the phone after about half hour. I am really pleased by the way things are going. Thanks again Enyo for starting this thread so I have people to chat to ,online at least, who "get" it.
 
Just came in to say thanks to all of for contributing. This is a great read and I've started getting books to read.
 
ladysaraii said:
Can you tell what other reading material was recommended?

Like I need more books lol!
Click to expand...

Slow Sex: The Art and Craft of the Female Orgasm
Seductress: Women Who Ravished the World and their Lost Art of Love
The Pleasure Zone: Why We Resist Good Feelings & How to Let Go and be Happy
 
Enyo
Lucie
Adonia1987
RegaLady

Need some advice please. So right now I'm kinda nursing a broken heart. I'll be fine but I realize that it's time to change the dating game. I was all about the one at a time, but I want to try the MMM or rotation method.

How does one successfully execute this? I'm really not fond of a bunch of people coming to my place and knowing where I live. Do you just meet guys for dates?
 
I just read the first page of this thread. Boy, am I sorry I took so long! I'm looking forward to reading & participating. Thanks for starting the thread OP!
 
ArrrBeee said:
@Enyo
@Lucie
@Adonia1987
@RegaLady

Need some advice please. So right now I'm kinda nursing a broken heart. I'll be fine but I realize that it's time to change the dating game. I was all about the one at a time, but I want to try the MMM or rotation method.

How does one successfully execute this? I'm really not fond of a bunch of people coming to my place and knowing where I live. Do you just meet guys for dates?
Click to expand...

This is a good question. I have been out of the dating game for a loonnngg time, lol.
I think barbiesocialite may know about this.:yep:
 
ArrrBeee

To start, I'm sorry that your down. I've totally been there. Being a sensual woman doesn't mean we are warriors that can't be hurt. Please make sure you're ready to get back out there before you date - even if it's casual. You don't want to be vulnerable in a bad way dealing with strangers.

On to your question:

1. I never allow these men to my home. Only the ones that I'm serious about know where I live. I meet them at the date location.

2. I make sure I don't let the men exhaust me. I always take time for myself and I don't let them guilt me into spending more time than I have/want.

3. I never imply that each man is the only one I'm dating. However, if asked, I tell the pure truth. If he doesn't like it, he can go.

4. Don't date more men than you can handle. My max is 3 casuals at once, but I prefer to keep it at around 2.

5. Relax and enjoy yourself. If it's not fun, then something is wrong. Stop and reevaluate.
 
ArrrBeee I don't let any guy know where I live. It is easy for me because I live outside of the city so they don't have to pick me up. I know how you feel about the broken heart, I am going through the same thing and trying to stay strong
 
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TracyNicole said:
I spoke to the "Directrix of Administration" from Mama Gena's School of Womanly Arts today. We had a really great conversation about femininity, embracing it and why building a circle of like minded women is so important. I was pleasantly surprised by her call. I thought it would be a straight sales pitch but we actually just chatted about what I thought of the book, what things I was doing to further my knowledge and other reading material that might be useful. We traded email addresses and got off the phone after about half hour. I am really pleased by the way things are going. Thanks again Enyo for starting this thread so I have people to chat to ,online at least, who "get" it.
Click to expand...

I glad you got a chance to speak to a rep, I did visit her site and tbh I got a Shanel Cooper Sikes vibe. After witnessing that whole fiasco, I've been put off from the thought of paying to attend a life coach's seminar.
 
FemmeFatale said:
One thing I noticed is that a lot of women were dressed for other women (overly trendy, complicated or just plain not flattering to their figure) and they had no idea how to be pleasant, sensual or anything of that matter.

Yes I got three numbers, lol.
Click to expand...

I have found that 'no-makeup make-up' works best for me in attracting men. Women will compliment vampy looks and sultryness, use of colour etc but most times men say nothing about my face when i wear a bold lip (which i love) with blush and/or eyeshadow. I get the most compliments from men when i wear just powder/foundation, clear gloss (i use vaseline cos lipgloss feels too sticky) and eyeliner. Especially if it's during the day. For night just lipcolour seems to go down well.

Men dont like women who look complicated/overdone, and unfortunately that's how most of us (based on the m/u forum) look when we leave the house. Red lips, pink blush and bold eyeshadow all at the same time might look great BUT if you're trying to attract a mate it works against you.
YOU think you look pretty and polished but MEN think you look hard, diva-ish.
I'm saying this because THIS thread is about cultivating softness and femininity and heavy colourful makeup gives men the exact opposite impression.
You may disagree that's fine, i just shared MY experience and what i've heard from the men around me that i've discussed this with.

Dressing for women is very different from dressing for men and sonetimes you dont even know which one you're doing.

ETA: makeup is also dependent on time/place. A look that seems overdone for work during the day might be perfect for another occasion e.g after work cocktails. I tell you, i've seen some 'daytime looks' in the m/u forum that had me :perplexed: because the makeup looked overdone and trashy yet the wearer claimed soft and feminine. I too have been guilty of this, because i didnt know any better. It took watching the cues i got from both men and women around me to know whether i was winning or not.
Know your events, be appropriate for them and your audience (potential partners).

Sent from my Samsung Galaxy Slll mini using LHCF
 
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FemmeFatale said:
I glad you got a chance to speak to a rep, I did visit her site and tbh I got a Shanel Cooper Sikes vibe. After witnessing that whole fiasco, I've been put off from the thought of paying to attend a life coach's seminar.
Click to expand...

Hmm I didn't get fraud and phony from anything. I am not sure how useful the online version would be, but her live classes have a very impressive array of speakers. In fact, several of the authors whose works we are reading are guest lecturers. It's a moot point because 5,500 is not happening for me. Do you mind sharing what gave you that impression?
 
TracyNicole said:
Hmm I didn't get fraud and phony from anything. I am not sure how useful the online version would be, but her live classes have a very impressive array of speakers. In fact, several of the authors whose works we are reading are guest lecturers. It's a moot point because 5,500 is not happening for me. Do you mind sharing what gave you that impression?
Click to expand...

Oh no, it was simply the price point that made my radar go off, lol. I was doing a bit of research and noticed that about 4 gurus are charging for these seminars (and some quite a bit) so my Shanel Sykes radar went off, lol.

Rachel, Patty, Mama Gene, Renee all have seminars. Patty and Rachel both have some great advice that I can attest to. Haven't read Mama Gene's book yet and Renee is just ok.
 
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FemmeFatale said:
Oh no, it was simply the price point that made my radar go off, lol. I was doing a bit of research and noticed that about 4 gurus are charging for these seminars (and some quite a bit) so my Shanel Sykes radar went off, lol.

Rachel, Patty, Mama Gene, Renee all have seminars. Patty and Rachel both have some great advice that I can attest to. Haven't read Mama Gene's book yet and Renee is just ok.
Click to expand...


I understand your feelings. I think there are people who really do wonderful, helpful programs and there are charlatans. Unfortunately, it can be hard to differentiate the two until after your money has been spent and the bad ones muck it up for those who really do have a good product.
 
miss cosmic said:
I have found that 'no-makeup make-up' works best for me in attracting men. Women will compliment vampy looks and sultryness, use of colour etc but most times men say nothing about my face when i wear a bold lip (which i love) with blush and/or eyeshadow. I get the most compliments from men when i wear just powder/foundation, clear gloss (i use vaseline cos lipgloss feels too sticky) and eyeliner. Especially if it's during the day. For night just lipcolour seems to go down well.

Men dont like women who look complicated/overdone, and unfortunately that's how most of us (based on the m/u forum) look when we leave the house. Red lips, pink blush and bold eyeshadow all at the same time might look great BUT if you're trying to attract a mate it works against you.
YOU think you look pretty and polished but MEN think you look hard, diva-ish.
I'm saying this because THIS thread is about cultivating softness and femininity and heavy colourful makeup gives men the exact opposite impression.
You may disagree that's fine, i just shared MY experience and what i've heard from the men around me that i've discussed this with.

Dressing for women is very different from dressing for men and sonetimes you dont even know which one you're doing.

ETA: makeup is also dependent on time/place. A look that seems overdone for work during the day might be perfect for another occasion e.g after work cocktails. I tell you, i've seen some 'daytime looks' in the m/u forum that had me :perplexed: because the makeup looked overdone and trashy yet the wearer claimed soft and feminine. I too have been guilty of this, because i didnt know any better. It took watching the cues i got from both men and women around me to know whether i was winning or not.
Know your events, be appropriate for them and your audience (potential partners).

Sent from my Samsung Galaxy Slll mini using LHCF
Click to expand...

Oh I wasn't even thinking about makeup and hair when I mentioned that but you are absolutely right, that is included. I can go into much more detail when I get home from work but I completely agree with you :look:
 
ladysaraii said:
I understand your feelings. I think there are people who really do wonderful, helpful programs and there are charlatans. Unfortunately, it can be hard to differentiate the two until after your money has been spent and the bad ones muck it up for those who really do have a good product.
Click to expand...

Lol, yes that's why I'm treading lightly and thoroughly researching these gurus.
 
FemmeFatale said:
Lol, yes that's why I'm treading lightly and thoroughly researching these gurus.
Click to expand...

Agreed! That's why I'm like hmm maybe the retreat but those programs aren't targeting the average woman. They are charging those UE NY prices. Thankfully I can read and use a computer and that's much less expensive!
 
Enyo said:
ArrrBeee

To start, I'm sorry that your down. I've totally been there. Being a sensual woman doesn't mean we are warriors that can't be hurt. Please make sure you're ready to get back out there before you date - even if it's casual. You don't want to be vulnerable in a bad way dealing with strangers.

On to your question:

1. I never allow these men to my home. Only the ones that I'm serious about know where I live. I meet them at the date location.

2. I make sure I don't let the men exhaust me. I always take time for myself and I don't let them guilt me into spending more time than I have/want.

3. I never imply that each man is the only one I'm dating. However, if asked, I tell the pure truth. If he doesn't like it, he can go.

4. Don't date more men than you can handle. My max is 3 casuals at once, but I prefer to keep it at around 2.

5. Relax and enjoy yourself. If it's not fun, then something is wrong. Stop and reevaluate.
Click to expand...

Adonia1987 said:
ArrrBeee
I don't let any guy know where I live. It is easy for me because I live outside of the city so they don't have to pick me up.

I know how you feel about the broken heart, I am going through the same thing and trying to stay strong and positive.

You can start slow. I would advise you to just have fun with it. Make it a habit to smile at guys you see. Look approachable, talk back even if you are not interested.

I also was about only one at a time and it is an adjustment to date multiple guys, but don't rush. Also, I noticed that even though you might meet a lot of men, not all of them will end up in a date. Some won't call, others you just won't feel like talking to them...

Most importantly take your time, relax, and enjoy the attention. Speak your mind, and act like the prize that you are. The more you will meet men, the more you will get comfortable and learn from your experiences.
Click to expand...

Thanks for the great advice. I'm definitely not ready to date yet. I'm just making mental notes for later. Somehow along the way, I never learned that I am prize and that I am a queen. My thinking has changed now:grin:.
 
miss cosmic said:
I have found that 'no-makeup make-up' works best for me in attracting men. Women will compliment vampy looks and sultryness, use of colour etc but most times men say nothing about my face when i wear a bold lip (which i love) with blush and/or eyeshadow. I get the most compliments from men when i wear just powder/foundation, clear gloss (i use vaseline cos lipgloss feels too sticky) and eyeliner. Especially if it's during the day. For night just lipcolour seems to go down well.

Men dont like women who look complicated/overdone, and unfortunately that's how most of us (based on the m/u forum) look when we leave the house. Red lips, pink blush and bold eyeshadow all at the same time might look great BUT if you're trying to attract a mate it works against you.
YOU think you look pretty and polished but MEN think you look hard, diva-ish.
I'm saying this because THIS thread is about cultivating softness and femininity and heavy colourful makeup gives men the exact opposite impression.
You may disagree that's fine, i just shared MY experience and what i've heard from the men around me that i've discussed this with.

Dressing for women is very different from dressing for men and sonetimes you dont even know which one you're doing.

ETA: makeup is also dependent on time/place. A look that seems overdone for work during the day might be perfect for another occasion e.g after work cocktails. I tell you, i've seen some 'daytime looks' in the m/u forum that had me :perplexed: because the makeup looked overdone and trashy yet the wearer claimed soft and feminine. I too have been guilty of this, because i didnt know any better. It took watching the cues i got from both men and women around me to know whether i was winning or not.
Know your events, be appropriate for them and your audience (potential partners).

Sent from my Samsung Galaxy Slll mini using LHCF
Click to expand...

:yep: To all of this!

This is something I am learning as I get older. I often joke around and say, if a woman compliments me on something, usually a man won't find it attractive:lol:. The older I get the simple I like to look. Diva-ish was a look I went for in my 20s when I had so much to prove:look:. Now, simple, healthy, and effortlessly pretty is what I strive for.
 
Adonia1987 said:
Most importantly take your time, relax, and enjoy the attention. Speak your mind, and act like the prize that you are. The more you will meet men, the more you will get comfortable and learn from your experiences.
Click to expand...


@ArrrBeee Adonia1987 Yes, I totally agree with this last part and should have mentioned it. Just enjoying the attention will give you the confidence and comfort level to branch out more. It's nice to always have someone that wants to take me out. A co-worker of mine told me yesterday she really wants someone to take her to see "Temptation", but she's only dealing with one guy casually, and she's getting bored of him. I felt kind of spoiled because I've never gone through anything like that.

Honestly, when I'm at my peak, I feel like hoarding all -->this<-- for one man is a waste. :look: Yes, that's right. I said it. I feel like I should have more than one admirer at a time, just like all women.
 
FemmeFatale said:
Oh I wasn't even thinking about makeup and hair when I mentioned that but you are absolutely right, that is included. I can go into much more detail when I get home from work but I completely agree with you :look:
Click to expand...

Yes I want to hear your thoughts on the dressing part:look:

ETA:

Though men and women find different things attractive, can someone give examples of the differences of what men and women find attractive in looks(dressing, makeup) and attitude.
 
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ArrrBeee said:
Enyo
Lucie
Adonia1987
RegaLady

Need some advice please. So right now I'm kinda nursing a broken heart. I'll be fine but I realize that it's time to change the dating game. I was all about the one at a time, but I want to try the MMM or rotation method.

How does one successfully execute this? I'm really not fond of a bunch of people coming to my place and knowing where I live. Do you just meet guys for dates?
Click to expand...

ArrrBeee

(((HUGS))) The first thing you need to do is allow yourself the time to properly heal. Some say the best way to get over a man is to get under another one and I STRONGLY disagree. That does nothing but lead the new man/men on and make you miss who you were with. This is not the proper way to heal.

When you feel like you are ready to heal, you should find new things to do. Catch up with old friends. Perhaps, you can make a list/vision board of all of the things you want to do/accomplish. Then, you get out there and do them. That is how you meet men. It is great to go out with your friends but try going out by yourself. Men feel you are more approachable when alone.

I meet men for dates. I like to be in control of what happens next. I went on a date with this man 2 years ago and I was so uncomfortable around him. Unfortunately, he picked me up and the cabs would not be available for 90 minutes so I was pretty much stranded! On the way home I forgot he mentioned he had impending diarrhea (his stomach verified) and thought that he could use my bathroom. :nono: :nono: :nono: I cannot make this stuff up! I was mortified and disgusted and wished I had not let him come and get me. I can laugh now! :lachen: :lachen:

I date anywhere from 2-4 men. 4 being on the active side. That way I am not particularly attached to 1 person, while keeping my options open. I do not sleep with them because that usually creates issues. I have fun, am myself and within a short amount of time I will start weeding which ones stay and which ones don't.

I wish you all of the best to you lovie. ((((HUGS))))
 
Lucie said:
ArrrBeee

(((HUGS))) The first thing you need to do is allow yourself the time to properly heal. Some say the best way to get over a man is to get under another one and I STRONGLY disagree. That does nothing but lead the new man/men on and make you miss who you were with. This is not the proper way to heal.

When you feel like you are ready to heal, you should find new things to do. Catch up with old friends. Perhaps, you can make a list/vision board of all of the things you want to do/accomplish. Then, you get out there and do them. That is how you meet men. It is great to go out with your friends but try going out by yourself. Men feel you are more approachable when alone.

I meet men for dates. I like to be in control of what happens next. I went on a date with this man 2 years ago and I was so uncomfortable around him. Unfortunately, he picked me up and the cabs would not be available for 90 minutes so I was pretty much stranded! On the way home I forgot he mentioned he had impending diarrhea (his stomach verified) and thought that he could use my bathroom. :nono: :nono: :nono: I cannot make this stuff up! I was mortified and disgusted and wished I had not let him come and get me. I can laugh now! :lachen: :lachen:

I date anywhere from 2-4 men. 4 being on the active side. That way I am not particularly attached to 1 person, while keeping my options open. I do not sleep with them because that usually creates issues. I have fun, am myself and within a short amount of time I will start weeding which ones stay and which ones don't.

I wish you all of the best to you lovie. ((((HUGS))))
Click to expand...

Thanks for the kind words and advice. :lachen::lachen: I see why you meet the guys for dates.
 
RegaLady said:
:yep: To all of this!

This is something I am learning as I get older. I often joke around and say, if a woman compliments me on something, usually a man won't find it attractive:lol:. The older I get the simple I like to look. Diva-ish was a look I went for in my 20s when I had so much to prove:look:. Now, simple, healthy, and effortlessly pretty is what I strive for.
Click to expand...

Exactly! As far as makeup goes, i think men want women to look like themselves. A light application of gloss still looks kissable. Uncomplicated hair is easier to run ones fingers through. Simplicity doesn't mean boring. And i think that's what men prefer.

That doesn't mean they don't appreciate the fantasy once in awhile: sexy, vampy and/or high maintenance.
 
RegaLady said:
Yes I want to hear your thoughts on the dressing part:look:

ETA:

Though men and women find different things attractive, can someone give examples of the differences of what men and women find attractive in looks(dressing, makeup) and attitude.
Click to expand...

It varies from person to person but just to put it into perspective, I prefer masculine men (that are respectful and about something) and they tend to prefer soft, feminine women (think of the sexual polarity scale that Rachel in powerful and feminine book). Everything I wear is flattering to my figure but not over the top or trashy.

An example of makeup that I can think of Keyshia Dior colorful lipsticks that people are wearing out in public. Blue lipstick, green lipstick, Ashy Larry pink lipstick, yellow lipstick. I don't think this look really attracts men at all, but a lot of women seem to love the look. I think a metrosexual man that's into fashion may be into that but even he might be looking around like :look:
 
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FemmeFatale said:
On another note, my navy blue silk robe from VS came in the mail today and I an in looove! I found it on ebay for a steal!!
Click to expand...

EBay, you say? I've been wanting a silk robe forever, and I don't want to pay a pretty penny. Going to check there!:weird:
 
I started reading Sex Secrets of An American Geisha. It's the scribd one though so I can only read it on my laptop. I skimmed through the later chapters because I was curious and couldn't wait to get to the sex secrets. :look:

Are the sections about how to find and marry a man still worth a married woman reading?

Also, I tend to always want to read books about strengthening relationships and/or pleasing my husband when I know I should really work on myself first. While I always appreciate learning ways to get more out of my sex life, I want to start with me. Which, if any, of these books is more about the transformation/improvement of the woman? (I hope that question made sense). I really need to serve myself first and stop trying to please and/or change others.

Last question (for now-- I have so many). My husband has complained about what I wear around the house/to bed a few times. I'm not working this year, so I'm not inclined to put on a "real outfit" just to cook, clean, and chill in. I think that's the real problem for him, which I guess is easily fixable. However, what should I wear to sleep? I can't imagine myself walking around the house in "sexy" pajamas. What is everyone wearing to bed (especially if you have kids) and do you put it on right before you go to bed? Maybe I'm wearing my pajamas too early or too long.
 
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