Is It Easier For The Chocolate Sisters To Get Men Of Other Races!!!!!

[JewelleNY]

I am light-skinned and white guys hit on me all of the time, white and hispanic way more than black men. Too bad I have yet to find them appealing, trying to hold out on the brothers

 

[dannie]

This is my favorite one! LOL!

The only way I would be able to get a man of another race is to clubbed him over the head!

It's nice to see that dark women get hit on by white men. They must live outside of Cali, though.

The last time I saw a really dark black woman with a white man was about 15 years ago. She was 9 months pregnant and they were walking to his pick up and he looked ready to bolt!

I live in LA...and I don't think it's some rarity. Infact I think it's more prevelant here.

 

[fmnnity]

When I moved down here to NC from Ohio, the last thing I thought I'd discover was how many of these men are looking for black women. Now, when I say men, I am talking men. Older gentlemen who appear to be well established as well as older cowboy types (not young boys "wiggin out"). I was sooooo taken aback because I am a big girl with natural hair so when I turn and catch one staring or whatever, it throws me for a loop.

I often think about this subject because my girl is dark skinned and she gets no love from the black boys because she doesn't meet their standard of beauty. But the white boys and Mexicans love her. I have pretty much resigned myself to the fact that chances are my grandchildren will be mixed because these are crucial developmental years for her emotionally and chances are that she will gravitate toward the ones who gave her attention when she needed it. It's neither here nor there to me. I am concerned that she doesn't develop a hatred for black men. She is surrounded by positive images but . . .

 

[czyfaith77]

The same with me. Men of other races, usually Italian men and spanish me hit on me all the time. I married an Italian because that is who the Lord showed me would be my husband. At first I was like "Lord, you know I like my dark skinned brothers" but when the Lord spoke to me about him (my husband) I was obediant and I'm so grateful I was because he is one of the best things that ever happened to me and I have been truly blessed because of my obediance to God and not listening to myself!

That's funny . Over the last few years noticing some of the trends, I just truly believed if I were to date anyone (which I had not been for about 10 years until recently) that they would not be AA. I have never dated outside my ethnic group (which is AA) but I just had that intuition. Low and behold I met a gentleman from Nigeria last summer (he's been living in the states about 10 years). My very best friend met him first and said she had a few conversations with him and just automatically thought of me. Now grant it, she knows how I am and she is really not into introducing folk to me (again because she knows how I am). Anyhow, he turned out to be one of the nicest guys I have ever met. I say all of this because my mind was closed. When I first had these intuitions about dating outside of my ethnic group, I just thought of any and every other group. I never thought of someone from Africa (then again a friend from Ghana liked me but for whatever reason I never took him serious though he too is a nice guy and we still remain in contact). Well, I can't speak for other women (as I have read what some of the ladies on this forum have shared about dating African men; however, men in general are not all are alike) but it has been an interesting and beautiful experience. BTW, he likes a well kept female but he's not too much into the overly done female (i.e with lots of makeup which is fine with me because I have always worn make to accentuate not to cover who I am so it works. He doesn't have have a problem with my hair (weave or not, relaxed or textured), What I did notice was he had a greater appreciation for my full-figure (I am a solid full-figure woman). He and a couple of my other Nigerian male friends kept saying I remind them of some of the ladies at home (Nigeria). Where I live, we have a little bit of everything (it's a highly interacial military town) and there is quite a bit of interracial dating. I am at a loss of words right now for black (AA) men and have been like this for a while. If I had met the right one I would have no problem but for me there is just alot of things that are missing. What I have to say is not all bad I just don't know what to say.

My SO and I had this discussion about a week ago and he was like "Why an African?" and I was like why not an African. I told him if I were to meet him in another package my feelings would still be the same. I told him generally it is his attributes and the content of his character and not his ethnicity that attracts me.

 

[czyfaith77]

I was thinking about this the other day, so thanks for bringing up the topic!

My mother is a redbone like Vanessa L. Williams' complexion, and I am the darkest one in my family. My color is pure brown, like peanut butter. Not light, not dark, just brown.

We were not allowed to discuss color and shades in my family, so no one did. My mother never even mentioned the fact that she's a redbone, and I've never heard her refer to herself as light-skinned.

It was a GOOD thing for me, and has helped me to develop a healthy attitude regarding skin color. I see beauty in us all.

As a brown-skinned woman, I've never been taunted by our people for being "high yellow" or "black as night."

Do y'all think that people from either extreme (light or dark) are the most color-struck with color complexes, or do you think we're all guilty of it for the most part?

I have noticed it to be true of every ethnic group except caucasian mainly because they are not a ethnic group of multiple hues. I have heard and read of such discrepancies among Italians, Puerto Ricans, Dominicans, and most all people of African decent. It is usually among ourselves who have a problem with complexions. My grandmother was very much like this along with many of her siblings. I can see how it has affect my aunt who is of a darker complexion. As a matter of fact, when I was younger I was fair (probably like Halle Berry complexion) my grandmother nearly argued my father down that I would get darker. My dad just looked at her like does it really matter. Anyhow, as I got older I became more of the complexion of maybe Lela Rochon (Waiting to Exhale). As I got older she still had this fixation with complexions. To this day I have never liked to discuss complexions. I know that people make differences but I just choose not to. People are people to me.

 

[czyfaith77]

I can honestly say that i don't look at black people in terms of color. I see individuals as either beautiful or not beautiful, tall or short, thick or thin, funny, etc. That's why i can find Beyonce pretty and India Arie gorgeous at the same time. I'm a woman of a darker hue, when I look in the mirror I see someone that is attractive (not to toot my own horn). I also know that my body type...i'm tall and slim with a little bit of everything...may not be what some black men initially find attractive or some white men for that matter. So, even though I'm approached by men of all races it all comes down to individual preference. If a brother is into big butts and boobs, he's not going to look my way, or he may notice my smile and decide to look a little deeper.

I'm also honest enough to recognize that because i may have what some call the "model look" (i get asked that question alot) that men will approach me for that reason as well. Across all races there is this fascination with models...which i think is completely shallow...but that's apart of it as well.

I like what you have said. That is the word that I was look for shallow.

 

[czyfaith77]

Hmmm! Interesting. I know lots of folks who get mad at black people (especially women) for claiming black heritage and/or not being the ethnicity that they're perceived to be.


This happens to lots of girls I know--my sister is one of those. People insist she is Middle Eastern. Usually not me--unless I am wearing a hairpiece or wig--my naps give me away, or shall I say--scream " I'm black and proud".


ETA: The original question...oh yeah... I get hit on by all ethnicities. But I have been spoken for since I was a teen, so all them men can keep on steppin. (The compliments are nice though)

Looking at the picture below and in some of the pictures in your album(mainly the ones with your hair straight) I can see why they might mistaken you. Where I live you may get mistaken for a Mexican because of some of your features.

 

[czyfaith77]

I feel you on this. When I first saw your pics, I thought you were Middle Eastern, too.

I get this ALL THE TIME from the Ethiopians...especially in D.C. Good Lord!

One cab driver got in an argument with me over it. I told him the majority of my African side comes from East Africa (Ethiopia/Eritrea), but he was steady saying that my immediate family is from there and I was trying to "pass" as an American.

I'm the same race as Ethiopians, but nationality is a whole other thing!

Being that she lives in the DC area, Sylver2 says she gets mistaken for Ethiopian alot as well.

 

[czyfaith77]

Just had to highlight that part. Isn't that the TRUTH!

I have to agree. I just like what she had stated. It was beautiful.

 

[czyfaith77]

I can sooo relate to this. I would wake up in the morning with my 4a/4b twa smashed into the pillows and my baby would turn over and say "baby yoou look so beautiful". He always always complimented me, especially when I started wearing out my natural hair. He isn't white though, he's Japanese.

I saw your pictures withthe other girls when you were in DC ( I think??) you are a beautiful. I thought you looked like a model.

 

[czyfaith77]

No problem..... I just did a google image search under nappy hair and it came up.

Thanks for your answer.

Those pictures came from Andre Walker's book. Andre Walker is Oprah's stylist. I have the book on my bookshelf.

 

[sugarose]

Well I'm considered light skinned and although white men look at me like they just wanna eat me up, they rarely approach me.
Dark black men, however talk to me just because I am light. I don't take it as a compliment.

 

[Candy1978]

I lived in South Florida (Miami) for 6 long hard years (lol), and I can attest that a sistah..especaially an American Sistah can't get NOOO Love. I now live in Orlando, and men hit on me all day long, even men outside my race..especially Puerto Rican men (which are my all time favorite flavor...que rico..lol). I love Orlando...not to mention it's cheaper that South Florida!!

First of all, I didn't intend to offend any of my darker skin sisters. I just want and have to know. Also, I am speaking from my experience and those of my close friends.

I live in South Florida. I don't think that FL is the best place to find and date men of other races because even though FL is diverse, a lot of people are closed-minded. I also believe that the educated and anti-MTV/BET AA sisters are struggling with finding partners here. I feel that many of the men here are more interested in dating Caribbean women or native African women. All of the stereotypes about African American women have affected the way a lot of men of other races view us.

I am attractive and I have no problem getting a man but most of the time I see white men with darker complected women. My darker complected friends have white men checking for them all of the time. I get a few crumbs here and there. Why is that? I want to know.

1st Question - If you are a darker complected woman, do you feel you can get a man of another race easily because they hit on you regularly.

2nd Question - If you fit question #1, where do you live?

**White = anything other than black.

I know this may seem like a crazy question but I'm sure there is at least 1 other woman out there that feels the same way.

BTW, I have dated several middle eastern men, Arab and Non-Arab.

 

[Bunny77]

I lived in South Florida (Miami) for 6 long hard years (lol), and I can attest that a sistah..especaially an American Sistah can't get NOOO Love. I now live in Orlando, and men hit on me all day long, even men outside my race..especially Puerto Rican men (which are my all time favorite flavor...que rico..lol). I love Orlando...not to mention it's cheaper that South Florida!!

Orlando is the truth. And yes, men of other races are not scared at all to get with black women in O-Town.

 

[FunkyMunky]

Those pictures came from Andre Walker's book. Andre Walker is Oprah's stylist. I have the book on my bookshelf.

Thanks for putting me on to the information

I lived in South Florida (Miami) for 6 long hard years (lol), and I can attest that a sistah..especaially an American Sistah can't get NOOO Love. I now live in Orlando, and men hit on me all day long, even men outside my race..especially Puerto Rican men (which are my all time favorite flavor...que rico..lol). I love Orlando...not to mention it's cheaper that South Florida!!

Thanks Candy and Bunny for your comments. I've lived in South Florida most of my life so maybe I need to move to Orlando and see what's popping. I lived there briefly back in 1992 and I didn't like it then. If I had my way I would leave FL but because I am a lawyer it's hard for me to just jump up and move because I am only licensed to practice here. Orlando is an option I will look into. I just want better romantic options black or non-black.

 

[Belle Du Jour]

i have been wanting to try dating outside my race how do I put myself out there?

Is there interrcial speedating?

 

[Ayeshia]

IMO I find that with most white men anything in comparison to their skin is considered dark anyway regardless of the "shade" of brown you are. To them you are darkskinned. I never really thought much more into it other than that.

 

[Ayeshia]

Shea if you're into the online dating thing that would be one of your best resources besides the tradtional dating scene. In "normal" scenarios you have to wonder if the guy is interested in women of other races and becasue of that you're lmore likely to blow him off (these are instances where you notice him before he notices you) . But with online dating racial preferences are right there in profile...no need to inquire I even found that some men who only listed whites and asians as their preference contacted me wanting to know more and if I wanted to chat.

 

[UmSumayyah]

Shea if you're into the online dating thing that would be one of your best resources besides the tradtional dating scene. In "normal" scenarios you have to wonder if the guy is interested in women of other races and becasue of that you're lmore likely to blow him off (these are instances where you notice him before he notices you) . But with online dating racial preferences are right there in profile...no need to inquire I even found that some men who only listed whites and asians as their preference contacted me wanting to know more and if I wanted to chat.

Why do you think that is? :scratchch: I wonder why they don't include bw in their preference list.

 

[Chromia]

I used to chat with a guy who didn't have bw in his preferences. He contacted me when he saw my profile and he initiated all of our chats.

 

[FunkyMunky]

Is there interrcial speedating?

Yes, here in South Florida we do have a speed dating service that has events for special interests. Ex. interracial (wm/bw), women interested in latinos, acivitiy partners, different ages etc.. but the majority of the events are males/females and anyone can sign up if they fall within the listed age range.

 

[rozlips]

Why do you think that is? :scratchch: I wonder why they don't include bw in their preference list.

I've been asking this question for quite a while, mainly because people keep asking ME! I've suspect that for the most part black women don't cross their minds as possible date/mates. Some might assume that black women wouldn't be interested in them. Others might not want to put women of other races off. And of course, the risk of losing white skin privilege. But its still odd to me that given those issues that they would then email a black woman! erplexed You'd think they'd at least take the time to alter their profile if they simply came across someone they found attractive. Bottom line is, I haven't a clue, and don't know how I'd respond if I encountered this particular phenomenon. But based on the emails I receive this happens A LOT, and bothers the hell out of black women. And well it should. At the bare minimum its both insulting and discouraging.

 

[Bunny77]

IMO I find that with most white men anything in comparison to their skin is considered dark anyway regardless of the "shade" of brown you are. To them you are darkskinned. I never really thought much more into it other than that.

Yep, I agree.

I remember when I was a freshman in college and a white woman said I had dark skin. I was confused, because I had never been called "dark" before (I grew up in an all-black community, so I heard all the skin tone descriptions.)

Then I realized, you know, I guess I would be dark compared to a white person! I also realized that when I read makeup articles in teen magazines, the "light," "medium" and "dark" were NOT referring to black shades, they were referring to the whole spectrum of colors... and guess what? I was darker than the "dark" shade they showed!

So yeah, if a white dude is going to date a black woman, the black woman is 99.9% likely to be darker than him anyway, unless the woman is Vanessa Williams' color and he's a really dark Italian or Greek or something. A "dark" skin tone is not going to matter since you're darker anyway by virtue of being black.

 

[sylver2]

I'm brown and all I ever get is east indian men, iranians, pakistanish men, arabic coming on to me all the time. Ethiopians most definately. Italians and the Irish men.. can't keep the Irish men away..lol they love some brown suga

 

[Ayeshia]

I've been asking this question for quite a while, mainly because people keep asking ME! I've suspect that for the most part black women don't cross their minds as possible date/mates. Some might assume that black women wouldn't be interested in them. Others might not want to put women of other races off. And of course, the risk of losing white skin privilege. But its still odd to me that given those issues that they would then email a black woman! erplexed You'd think they'd at least take the time to alter their profile if they simply came across someone they found attractive. Bottom line is, I haven't a clue, and don't know how I'd respond if I encountered this particular phenomenon. But based on the emails I receive this happens A LOT, and bothers the hell out of black women. And well it should. At the bare minimum its both insulting and discouraging.

I asked and the # 1 reason is that they thought that I wouldnt be interested in them or that socially they havent been around black women enough to develop a curiosity....Usually these men are older white men in their mid 30s to early 40s...but for the most part the younger generation of white men do have AA as a preference. I dunno i never checked hispanic or indian in my box but I saw some pretty hot profiles on the net....but I dont contact guys

 

[cocopuff]

I only get hit on period when I am looking broke down..ironically the time when you really just want to be left alone.

That is so funny. About a year and a half ago I was suffering from a broken leg. It seemed like men would hit on me left and right; cab drivers, men at the grocery store, etc. I would literally be standing outside of the grocery store on my one good leg and men would try to strike up a conversation and ask for my number. I couldn't believe it, that is a period of time when I thought no one would ask me out.


Anyway, I am a darker complexion but men of other nationalities have always seemed to have an interest in me. Alot of Ethiopians have been attracted to me (my friend calls me an Ethiopian magnet) as well as Haitian, Latino, Arab, Indian, etc. Also, most of the African-American men that are interested in me have light complexions so I guess not all of them are interested in "redbones".

 

[cocoberry10]

I'm brown and all I ever get is east indian men, iranians, pakistanish men, arabic coming on to me all the time. Ethiopians most definately. Italians and the Irish men.. can't keep the Irish men away..lol they love some brown suga

Brown suga babe, I get's high off your love and don't know how to behave
I wants some of your brown suga...

Just being silly!

 

[Hidden_Angel]

hmmm.. Well I consider myself to be pretty dark. Considerably so than my siblings.

I went on a date with a black guy only once. Later after the date he said he was intimadated and turned off by my intelligence and that I "talked white" and was reserved. Oh, but I was cute.


Ok damn, I'm geeky but come on!!


Back in the days of dating, black men generally did not even want to speak to me. hell its not like I'm not cute! But I wasn't "light" and I wasn't "white" so I guess that disqualified me.

One thing I have heard from guys I dated is that they just don't see me as being black. So dunno what that means either

I do get hit on by a lot of white guys, especially of european descent. I always have. Could be how I carry myself, how I talk, my interests, or what have you. I really just don't get it myself.

SO is white, told me he had to import me cause he couldn't find him no women up here ( hell he could have been blue with yellow polkadots and I would have been fine with it as long as he was respectful of me, intelligent, and cute) I have NEVER been picky as far as color was concerned. But if you do have to work with what you get handed sometimes. I think I made out ok

I dated more men who had a fetishism about dating a woman with muscles than someone who was black, which made me extremely gunshy in the dating game.


-A

uh is that your picture in your av? if so ... your SOOO pretty whenever i see it im like damnit?!

 

[jwhitley6]

This is my favorite one! LOL!

The only way I would be able to get a man of another race is to clubbed him over the head!

It's nice to see that dark women get hit on by white men. They must live outside of Cali, though.

The last time I saw a really dark black woman with a white man was about 15 years ago. She was 9 months pregnant and they were walking to his pick up and he looked ready to bolt!

Girl, white men (usually older) love me....bugs the heck outta me, 'cause I can tell it's because I'm "exotic" to them.

 

[sweetascocoa]

Im dark complected. its rare for black guys to hit on me. come to think of it, only ONE black guy hit on my last year. The rest were white. It doesnt bother me cos i have no qualms with dating non-black guys

1. If you are a darker complected woman, do you feel you can get a man of another race easily because they hit on you regularly.----Yes

2. If you fit question #1, where do you live? Atlanta