Are we as black women appreciated enough?

[RossBoss]

I could care less about what they think of me. I'm more concerned about the how they manage to make so much money off the black community and how I can develop a similar model.

Me too, but we still gotta deal with them in one way or another since they are here. You have to work with them and sometimes live in the same neighborhood so they can't be avoided. I am just so angry that we went through so much to fight White racism only to have to deal with a newer, browner batch of racists.

 

[Detroit2Dallas]

That's all fine and dandy if they keep that attitude over in their home countries and STAY OVER THERE. The problem starts when they come here and start that crap on my home turf. If they look at American women as whores, you can best believe that Black American women are looked at ten times worse.

yes because there are lots of african women in certain arabic areas that are prostitutes.

Whipz, he used to wake up choking you in the middle of the night? People laugh when I tell them to leave these recent war vets alone. PTSD is nothing to play with.

 

[WhipEffectz1]

Me too, but we still gotta deal with them in one way or another since they are here. You have to work with them and sometimes live in the same neighborhood so they can't be avoided. I am just so angry that we went through so much to fight White racism only to have to deal with a newer, browner batch of racists.

Well, I am too but its hard to get the message across to a group of people who are okay with the status quo (financially and socially speaking). I tend to be more concerned about the amount of money that they are making off the black community. There was a story on here about an Asian family that owns 3 different beauty supply superstores in three states and that they make a KILLING. Ol boy would take me with him to the bank and to pay the store bills. The lease was $1,000/month with about 35,000 in gross monthly sales. I'm not concerned with them as I am about getting in on this money. lol

 

[WhipEffectz1]

Whipz, he used to wake up choking you in the middle of the night? People laugh when I tell them to leave these recent war vets alone. PTSD is nothing to play with.

Yeah girl. He told me he still has a hard time sleeping. He stay talking about the different kinds of guns. *nervous laugh* When he came back, someone in his batillion or whatever you call it killed his wife then himself. He always use to say, "You don't know what I have done."

 

[ScorpioBeauty09]

Yeah but they are equal opportunity aholes.

Case in point when I was in Egypt a few years back I was with an American Friend of mine she is white blonde hair and blue eye Swedish American girl from Minnesota.

Okay we were in Cairo. She was dressed modest so I was this guy say to her Hey you American she was like Yes.

He was like OH YOU AMERICCCCCANNNNN Woman oh you like lots of sex I know you are going have sex with me.

She retorted well Why don't you go blow yourself up.

He said Madame just because I am an Arab that does NOT mean that I am a Terrorist.

She snapped back just because I am White and American that does not make me a whore. Shukran

He was like Touche Madame. I apologise.

I was like grin:

Thanks for sharing this because I've heard stories of Arabs and Asians stereotyping white women too. I've heard so many stories of Indian families raising holy h*ll when they find out a family member plans to marry someone white yet I know some black woman/Indian men married couples and the black wife gets along fine with her in-laws. It depends on the person.

Yes I think black women aren't appreciated enough, by our own men or non-BM but we don't help the situation by having so many OOW children without the ring. At the same time it's not like white women have it that much easier.

 

[luckiestdestiny]

Really, wow! I didn't know they stayed in Chicago too and owned stores there also. Isn't that a shame how they'll make babies with black women, but refuse to marry them. But now that i think about it, seeing that only 42% of black men are married, black men don't marry black women either. We as black women just get disrespected by everyone. Shaking my head. We can not allow men to continue to do this.

But that's the thing...having a baby so a man will marry you? I mean come on son! I do realize the "bias" that you're pointing out but it could not be so without our participation so to speak. Meaning if we would protect ourselves and only date men that valued us then we wouldn't run around with babies hoping to be wifed up. I'd go a step further and say we'd we would be wifed up and then planning to have babies...(if we want marriage that is, as I realize not everyone does).

 

[luckiestdestiny]

Thanks for sharing this because I've heard stories of Arabs and Asians stereotyping white women too. I've heard so many stories of Indian families raising holy h*ll when they find out a family member plans to marry someone white yet I know some black woman/Indian men married couples and the black wife gets along fine with her in-laws. It depends on the person.

Yes I think black women aren't appreciated enough, by our own men or non-BM but we don't help the situation by having so many OOW children without the ring. At the same time it's not like white women have it that much easier.

I read this after my post. Would've saved me some time for sure.

 

[luckiestdestiny]

I just called one of my friends up. Hes an accountant he said that many black women he dates that are on the same level are so guarded and most chances they try to throw the "Im a black woman and I overcame so much so im better" <<my interpretation lol


he also said that most got very upset if he treated them like a lady(holding doors,asking for dinners etc.) He mentioned they were very egotistic and didnt seem to understand modesty. On many occasions there were just plain mean if he mentioned his achievements they would try to demean him to an average pookie from the hood :/

I asked is that the reason you like going out with other races a bit more he said no, They're just nice to me and support me If im having A hard day..thats all I need in a women I dont care what color


*sorry if any mistakes I was typing super fast

Yeah but that's one guy. I've got a ton of stories about guys who say one thing and do another. So I don't blame it on black women I think we all have a fault in this. Sure there are some angry women out there, but it's not like all the men are the epitome of perfection. Should some of us lighten up? Yup. But so should the men. And there are plenty who are not running around pissy. There are just some damaged and non damaged people in the world period and our job is to filter through them without stereotyping entire groups.

It's not like we're all running around sour faced. I havE an associate(wouldn't say friend) who only dates (well everyone but black). I run into him now and again at different events and he's the one who always brings up the subject because frankly I don't care what he does, but I think he's paranoid because he'll just bring it up (and I date all races so I'm not some woman throwing an evil eye at him), he'll say "Man...there aren't any black women around, where are they luckiest? I'd love to date one" or "Too bad most of yall have attitude...not talking about you though" (like I'm supposed to be ecstatic that he complimented me by insulting my gender (and race). He was sooo not on my list because he frankly sucked imo, and I don't want to have to prove for my whole race that I am the good black woman to a guy with hang ups. And that's why I kept turning him down.

So when he'd say "It's a shame that no black women show interest" meanwhile I'm pointing out women who are checking him out and smiling and I'm asking, "whose that?" and he's like, all dismissively, "oh just some lady who likes me" and that lady is always black. BUT they're invisible to him. I'm sure he only notices the black women when they can prove his sterotypes right: the ones who aren't interested, or have an attitude. I'd then stop him in his tracks and say , "I thought you can't find a black woman with interest" to which he'll say, "yeah but she's just an anomaly." and go back to eying everyone but a black woman. Sure he asked me out but keep in mind I keep rejecting him, which just proves his point but if he really searched he'd see I rejected him because of his attitude.

MEanwhile the ones who display interest and are a catch don't even register on his radar because they can't exist in a world with his beliefs. So whatever. I just roll my eyes whenever I run into him and hear his speal, and I kim. Funny thing is, before my fiance (who is black), I dated outside my race (but included black guys) and whenever I'd show up with a guy of another race he'd joke with me that "we lost another one". Like meaning another black woman gone...but I was like are you kidding me? At least I date black. We lost him a long time ago yet he was steady worried about what I was doing. That same black guy will be annoyed when he sees us out with another race, but steady date any one but black themselves. I guess he wants us to long for him and feel like we're missing out. Too bad, I don't work that way. Now it's funny but I saw him and he found out I was engaged, "To a white man I'm sure" he said and I was like nope. Then he's all why wouldn't I go out with him, why can't he find a good black woman. Maybe if he would stfu with his tirade he would, or just notice the ones who are interested in him...but alas

People will assume what they want and then find people to justify their reasoning, while overlooking others who are the opposite of their beliefs.

 

[ambergirl]

I just called one of my friends up. Hes an accountant he said that many black women he dates that are on the same level are so guarded and most chances they try to throw the "Im a black woman and I overcame so much so im better" <<my interpretation lol


he also said that most got very upset if he treated them like a lady(holding doors,asking for dinners etc.) He mentioned they were very egotistic and didnt seem to understand modesty. On many occasions there were just plain mean if he mentioned his achievements they would try to demean him to an average pookie from the hood :/

I asked is that the reason you like going out with other races a bit more he said no, They're just nice to me and support me If im having A hard day..thats all I need in a women I dont care what color


*sorry if any mistakes I was typing super fast

Please don't believe this. I highly doubt this is representative of most successful black women or that he's telling the whole story. I can't think of one successful black woman I know who would behave like this.

What I see and have experienced are successful black men treating the black women they date far different then non black women. They do less and expect more. And that's if they'll date black women at all.

I think for some black men a non black wife is a sign that they've jumped rank in life. I've been in too many rooms where all the black men are with non black wives to believe that it's all about how rude or stuck up or defective we are.

 

[NaijaTroll]

What people have a problem with, and rightfully so is that if you are a black woman, an Arabic man will not marry you...he will sleep with you, date you, have children with you, but will not marry you. This is considered disrespectful.

She's disrespecting herself by having a kid with someone that isnt gonna marry her in the first place. Why do people keep acting like women are so weak?

Keep in mind if their own women are shamed into being virgins/having to stick to anal sex just so to seem pure when they finally get married, the hell makes black women think they'll do better with them? Delusions.

 

[NaijaTroll]

If you think that no one wants black women then you will carry that negative energy around and it will shine so bright. Hell, just get you a shirt that says, "Angry and Unwanted Black Woman." lol

2011 and they're still crying.

 

[MD_Lady]

I had to thank you a second time for this entire post, ESPECIALLY this

Yeah but that's one guy. I've got a ton of stories about guys who say one thing and do another. So I don't blame it on black women I think we all have a fault in this. Sure there are some angry women out there, but it's not like all the men are the epitome of perfection. Should some of us lighten up? Yup. But so should the men. And there are plenty who are not running around pissy. There are just some damaged and non damaged people in the world period and our job is to filter through them without stereotyping entire groups...

and this

...People will assume what they want and then find people to justify their reasoning, while overlooking others who are the opposite of their beliefs.

 

[DayStar]

 

[SND411]

We need to stop constantly throwing ourselves pity parties. They are events which none of us should be invited to.

 

[Crackers Phinn]

I grew up in Detroit and I think that a missing part of this conversation is that the 'women' having these Blayrab babies are usually very young girls. There are Arab owned liquor stores and gas stations on every other corner. It used to be that when I was growing up, parents would only let their little girls go to these stores to run errands if there was a group of us together. Because alot of times, dudes behind the counter would try to holler if you were alone or there were no adults around.

I can't wrap my head around sending your girl children into a den of wolves but I guess it was to get us used to dudes trying to dog us out.

I spent alot of my childhood telling dudes who look like Ron Jeremy that I wasn't interested in sitting on their laps or giving them a kiss for bags of chips or pop. But alot of girls, especially ones without fathers or mothers that didn't tell them anything about the world got caught up.
~~~~~~~~~~~
And no, every Arab man isn't a douche but enough of them running those stores are predators.

 

[carcajada]

Well, I am too but its hard to get the message across to a group of people who are okay with the status quo (financially and socially speaking). I tend to be more concerned about the amount of money that they are making off the black community. There was a story on here about an Asian family that owns 3 different beauty supply superstores in three states and that they make a KILLING. Ol boy would take me with him to the bank and to pay the store bills. The lease was $1,000/month with about 35,000 in gross monthly sales. I'm not concerned with them as I am about getting in on this money. lol

Hmph, but what's interesting is that I've seen more black owned BSS get disrespected than Asian and "other" owned BSS. I can't speak for corner stores, but I know a lady who had to close down her BSS/salon because negroes were stealing from her three times the rate as they were the asian stores and were preferring to buy from someone else. Towards the end, she ended up raising her prices and stuff to try stay open. So not only did black folx in the area want to steal from her but they didn't really want to shop there in the first place. The mentality of supporting and not taking away from our own has to change. It's as if there is some type of higher regard/respect for store owners who are not black.

 

[Spiffy]

^That's really unfortunate, but I think it's more advantageous to create a business that caters to all people, not just blacks because as has been discussed here many of times, some black consumers will step right over their own to patronize non-black owned stores.

So many of us are stuck in the 'traditional' beauty salon/barbershop/soul food restaurant mindset that we end up holding ourselves back. If you're going to go that route, at least incorporate some sort of edge where your business doesn't depend solely on black money. Let's just be honest here.

My old stylist had a hair salon, but she became known as the best hair colorist in our town out off all the salons. All the wannabe blonde White and Latin women stayed in her hair salon. She even started courses where she taught other stylists, mostly white, and that doesn't stop her show.

 

[TrueToHair]

.................

 

[RossBoss]

I grew up in Detroit and I think that a missing part of this conversation is that the 'women' having these Blayrab babies are usually very young girls. There are Arab owned liquor stores and gas stations on every other corner. It used to be that when I was growing up, parents would only let their little girls go to these stores to run errands if there was a group of us together. Because alot of times, dudes behind the counter would try to holler if you were alone or there were no adults around.

I can't wrap my head around sending your girl children into a den of wolves but I guess it was to get us used to dudes trying to dog us out.

I spent alot of my childhood telling dudes who look like Ron Jeremy that I wasn't interested in sitting on their laps or giving them a kiss for bags of chips or pop. But alot of girls, especially ones without fathers or mothers that didn't tell them anything about the world got caught up.
~~~~~~~~~~~
And no, every Arab man isn't a douche but enough of them running those stores are predators.

Man oh man. This is depressing. So these folks are just able to roll up in Black neighborhoods and do this. If we went to their country and tried to pull the same stunts, we would be swinging from the nearest tree...for real. My bro lives near Detroit and he can't stand those "A-rabs", is what he calls them.