Is It Easier For The Chocolate Sisters To Get Men Of Other Races!!!!!

[camellia]

I know where you are coming from. My sister is about your complexion and everyone in my family considers her "dark." In school she was called high yellow like the rest of us, but in our family she is the darkest one. Mind you I come from a very fair skin Creole family (most look White or very close.)

I get lots of attention from Middle Eastern, Indian, and Hispanic men. Usually the think I am part of their racial group. When I tell them I'm Black the lose interest. I get the thug White guys sometimes. They try to talk extra hip to impress me. Black men approach me the most. About a year ago I was attracting thugs and "ballers".........now I get approached by professional Black men (I lost 15 lbs, the thugs aren't feeling me any more, Yeah!!!!!!!) My boyfriend is an attorney. I don't think he would have approached me when I was 15 lbs larger.

I can't begin to tell you how many Greek, Italian and Middle Eastern men I've had approach me thinking I was "one of them". Often they'll speak to me in their native language and think I'm screwing with their heads when I tell them I'm not [insert whatever group] and I don't understand the language.

A Greek man in Starbucks got angry with me for "denying my heritage!" when he kept speaking to me in Greek and I kept insisting I was not Greek and didn't speak it either. It was all I could do to not laugh in his face.

 

[BackToMyRoots]

I can't begin to tell you how many Greek, Italian and Middle Eastern men I've had approach me thinking I was "one of them". Often they'll speak to me in their native language and think I'm screwing with their heads when I tell them I'm not [insert whatever group] and I don't understand the language.

A Greek man in Starbucks got angry with me for "denying my heritage!" when he kept speaking to me in Greek and I kept insisting I was not Greek and didn't speak it either. It was all I could do to not laugh in his face.

Oh my goodness! My friend's husband almost got beat up by a Puerto Rican man who became agitated at him for "denying" he was not Puerto Rican. The guy got very violent and swung at him for being "ashamed of who he was". Poor [Insert name here] is just a fair skinned black man from the South.

 

[rozlips]

Now see, you sitting up heah on a HAIR BOARD acting surprised there are stripper boards. This is the internet! Everybody's got their own thing.

http://www.stripperweb.com/index.html

There is a such thing as stripper boards? Foe True?

Girl, they pay good money for those shoes. I think they're a job requirement. Personally I love the pink ones on the left, but I'd need a crane to help me walk!

This girl is absolutely beautiful, but damn the clear heels to hell!

 

[breezy]

Now see, you sitting up heah on a HAIR BOARD acting surprised there are stripper boards. This is the internet! Everybody's got their own thing.

http://www.stripperweb.com/index.html



Girl, they pay good money for those shoes. I think they're a job requirement. Personally I love the pink ones on the left, but I'd need a crane to help me walk!

I would work the gold ones.

 

[Chromia]

I was thinking about this the other day, so thanks for bringing up the topic!

My mother is a redbone like Vanessa L. Williams' complexion, and I am the darkest one in my family. My color is pure brown, like peanut butter. Not light, not dark, just brown.

We were not allowed to discuss color and shades in my family, so no one did. My mother never even mentioned the fact that she's a redbone, and I've never heard her refer to herself as light-skinned.

It was a GOOD thing for me, and has helped me to develop a healthy attitude regarding skin color. I see beauty in us all.

As a brown-skinned woman, I've never been taunted by our people for being "high yellow" or "black as night."

Do y'all think that people from either extreme (light or dark) are the most color-struck with color complexes, or do you think we're all guilty of it for the most part?

No one in my family discussed color or shades either. It's not that we weren't allowed to, it just never came up. I never cared and I think everyone in my family felt the same way. We're all medium brown. No one in my family is light or dark.

I'm shocked when I hear some of the things that other people say. I have a mixed friend whose ex-boyfriend is black. His grandfather told him and the other grandkids not to "bring home any tar babies". His mom is light. He and his sister are medium/dark. I haven't seen his other family members.

I had a co-worker (medium brown, like me) who joked that someone was as black as her purse (a black leather purse). She said it like it was bad that this woman's skin is dark. I've never met the woman she was talking about, but I don't understand why people say things like that.

 

[Arcadian]

OT...but your freakin gorgeous!!!!


No homo...

Girl you are too. Heck dosen't it make you wonder? Guess the SO dosen't mind that third eye I got

-A

 

[Arcadian]

No one in my family discussed color or shades either. It's not that we weren't allowed to, it just never came up. I never cared and I think everyone in my family felt the same way. We're all medium brown. No one in my family is light or dark.

I'm shocked when I hear some of the things that other people say. I have a mixed friend whose ex-boyfriend is black. His grandfather told him and the other grandkids not to "bring home any tar babies". His mom is light. He and his sister are medium/dark. I haven't seen his other family members.

I had a co-worker (medium brown, like me) who joked that someone was as black as her purse (a black leather purse). She said it like it was bad that this woman's skin is dark. I've never met the woman she was talking about, but I don't understand why people say things like that.

Wow, thats sad. I love looking at really dark skin. Most men and women with super dark skin have the most regal features.

I guess you can say thats my fetish cause Every time I see someone with that kind of skin I'm mesmerized.

-A

 

[myco]

I was thinking about this the other day, so thanks for bringing up the topic!

My mother is a redbone like Vanessa L. Williams' complexion, and I am the darkest one in my family. My color is pure brown, like peanut butter. Not light, not dark, just brown.

We were not allowed to discuss color and shades in my family, so no one did. My mother never even mentioned the fact that she's a redbone, and I've never heard her refer to herself as light-skinned.

It was a GOOD thing for me, and has helped me to develop a healthy attitude regarding skin color. I see beauty in us all.

As a brown-skinned woman, I've never been taunted by our people for being "high yellow" or "black as night."

Do y'all think that people from either extreme (light or dark) are the most color-struck with color complexes, or do you think we're all guilty of it for the most part?

I think people on either extreme do tend to catch the brunt of it - whether positive or negative (if you can call it that). I've never been the lightest black person in a group or the darkest growing up, so I think I was probably shielded from the looks and measuring that other sisters go through. I guess, I was a non-intimidating happy medium, to either group. My grandfather who was fair, married a woman who was very dark, and we loved her so much that I don't think anyone would ever be disrespectful enough to ever say anything negative about skin color. We were all more concerned with getting her wrinkle free skin. Also, my family is a pretty monochromatic medium brown on both sides, so there really wasn't much to talk about.

To the OP's topic, I agree with what other posters have said - it's about relative exoticism. If a white man only wanted a black woman who looked like a white woman, it would probably be easier/more convenient to date a white woman. I guess some black men are gravitating to a percieved difference that they think only lighter complexioned sisters possess. (I'm only speaking of those who take it to a fetishist extreme. Not men who meet a great woman, who just happens to have a lighter complexion).

 

[melodee]

This is very interesting!!! I am enjoying this thread.

 

[melodee]

I can't begin to tell you how many Greek, Italian and Middle Eastern men I've had approach me thinking I was "one of them". Often they'll speak to me in their native language and think I'm screwing with their heads when I tell them I'm not [insert whatever group] and I don't understand the language.

A Greek man in Starbucks got angry with me for "denying my heritage!" when he kept speaking to me in Greek and I kept insisting I was not Greek and didn't speak it either. It was all I could do to not laugh in his face.

Hmmm! Interesting. I know lots of folks who get mad at black people (especially women) for claiming black heritage and/or not being the ethnicity that they're perceived to be.


This happens to lots of girls I know--my sister is one of those. People insist she is Middle Eastern. Usually not me--unless I am wearing a hairpiece or wig--my naps give me away, or shall I say--scream " I'm black and proud".


ETA: The original question...oh yeah... I get hit on by all ethnicities. But I have been spoken for since I was a teen, so all them men can keep on steppin. (The compliments are nice though)

 

[Hairgasm]

I can't begin to tell you how many Greek, Italian and Middle Eastern men I've had approach me thinking I was "one of them". Often they'll speak to me in their native language and think I'm screwing with their heads when I tell them I'm not [insert whatever group] and I don't understand the language.

A Greek man in Starbucks got angry with me for "denying my heritage!" when he kept speaking to me in Greek and I kept insisting I was not Greek and didn't speak it either. It was all I could do to not laugh in his face.

I feel you on this. When I first saw your pics, I thought you were Middle Eastern, too.

I get this ALL THE TIME from the Ethiopians...especially in D.C. Good Lord!

One cab driver got in an argument with me over it. I told him the majority of my African side comes from East Africa (Ethiopia/Eritrea), but he was steady saying that my immediate family is from there and I was trying to "pass" as an American.

I'm the same race as Ethiopians, but nationality is a whole other thing!

 

[Laginappe]

Now see, you sitting up heah on a HAIR BOARD acting surprised there are stripper boards. This is the internet! Everybody's got their own thing.

http://www.stripperweb.com/index.html

Seriously! JCoily you've been on this board and especially!! in Los Angeles long enough to know better! Come on now!

Side note - I've always thought that those style of shoes would be easier to walk in for some reason. With the extra width under the toes adding stabilty??

Screw it - I'll just go buy my own pair and test the theory.

 

[mimi]

I alot of people say that I'm light skin, but I think I'm more caramel colored (e.g my avatar pic). Don't ask me why, but I'd say that I get approached by alot of Mexican/ hispanic men. I think my being really nice may have something to do with it but generally I get alot mexican men opening doors for me, giving compliments, giving up their seats on the bus when its full so I can sit and things like that. White guys approach me once in a while, I've actually had one talk to me will he was in traffic holding up other drivers and everything. But the only time I get positive attention from a decent black man is when I'm made up. Other than that the majority of the men that approach me are random strangers, bums, or young thuggish guys on the street (this is starting to annoy me).

 

[UmSumayyah]

The same with me. Men of other races, usually Italian men and spanish me hit on me all the time. I married an Italian because that is who the Lord showed me would be my husband. At first I was like "Lord, you know I like my dark skinned brothers" but when the Lord spoke to me about him (my husband) I was obediant and I'm so grateful I was because he is one of the best things that ever happened to me and I have been truly blessed because of my obediance to God and not listening to myself!

Just had to highlight that part. Isn't that the TRUTH!

 

[DrGucciGal]

I actually have another question: how easy is it for y'all to date INSIDE your ethnic group?

I don't if y'all have seen the movie "Something New", but I'm actually referring to the part where the white guy asks her(=Sanaa Lathan) to take her extensions out, and when she starts dating the black guy (Blair Underwood ) he asks her to put the extensions back on. Tyra Banks was on the Tonight Show once and she talked about a similar incident: she was dating a guy, and when they got home and she wanted to take her make up off the guy was like: oh no, don't, leave it all on (Tyra Banks said she had extensions and full on make up on, it actually hurt her feelings). I know I'm sort of making it long but to make it short: I sometimes have the feeling that black men are somewhat superficial (although that may not be the case in the US, I've been to NY twice and I did get hit on with or without make up ) but over here in Belgium, black men only pay attention to you (as a black woman) if you're looking extremely good (t-shirt&jeans doesn't cut iterplexed ). Is that something that some of y'all have experienced or would like to comment on?

So I am darkskinned, I have mentioned before that since I moved to Michigan (specifically, Ann Arbor) that black men have NOT approached me at all. I seem to attract everyone else. I am actually getting kinda close to a older white man right now, which is something I never expected. I was wearing all kind of extensions when I moved here and in November, I said f-*k it and I started wearing my natural hair (i.e. afro). This guy was really feeling it! I was shocked.

 

[rozlips]

Originally Posted by ShaniKeys
I actually have another question: how easy is it for y'all to date INSIDE your ethnic group?

I don't if y'all have seen the movie "Something New", but I'm actually referring to the part where the white guy asks her(=Sanaa Lathan) to take her extensions out, and when she starts dating the black guy (Blair Underwood ) he asks her to put the extensions back on. Tyra Banks was on the Tonight Show once and she talked about a similar incident: she was dating a guy, and when they got home and she wanted to take her make up off the guy was like: oh no, don't, leave it all on (Tyra Banks said she had extensions and full on make up on, it actually hurt her feelings). I know I'm sort of making it long but to make it short: I sometimes have the feeling that black men are somewhat superficial (although that may not be the case in the US, I've been to NY twice and I did get hit on with or without make up ) but over here in Belgium, black men only pay attention to you (as a black woman) if you're looking extremely good (t-shirt&jeans doesn't cut it ). Is that something that some of y'all have experienced or would like to comment on?

Its a supply and demand situation. Black men are in high demand, therefore they can put all kinds of requirements on black women. A white man, whether he's 'into' black women, or just 'into' a particular black woman knows hes skating on thin ice so to speak. He's less likely to have those type issues.

 

[*Frisky*]

Seriously! JCoily you've been on this board and especially!! in Los Angeles long enough to know better! Come on now!

Side note - I've always thought that those style of shoes would be easier to walk in for some reason. With the extra width under the toes adding stabilty??

Screw it - I'll just go buy my own pair and test the theory.

This is true...they look like death traps but they give much needed support.

 

[PrincessScorpion]

I am the lightest of my grandmother's grandchildren and lighter than both of my parents. Skin color was never an issue with my family. I did not have issues with other AA people about color until we moved to the east coast. First time was in North Carolina in a military city, but it got worse when I moved to the DC area. I remember calling my grandmother telling her some of the nonsense the AA people here would say about skin color (ex. the paper bag test).

 

[rozlips]

Hell, I'm down for them because the strippers say they make your legs look long and YOUR STOMACH LOOK FLAT!!! I'd wear an iron maiden for the appearance of a flat tummy.

Seriously! JCoily you've been on this board and especially!! in Los Angeles long enough to know better! Come on now!

Side note - I've always thought that those style of shoes would be easier to walk in for some reason. With the extra width under the toes adding stabilty??

Screw it - I'll just go buy my own pair and test the theory.

 

[FunkyMunky]

Man oh man, it seems like the Mexican & Asians are feeling the sistas.

I have never been approached by either but on the other hand I don't really see too many Asians just out and about here in South Florida and most of the Mexican men I see are short and farm workers (not trying to be funny).

 

[SweetCaramel1]

Well this is a very eye opening thread for me. I am not light and I am not dark. I am however moreso on the lighter side. I would say I am a honey brown-like sanaa lathan's color. I am very pretty (by my own standards) and do not look "mixed" or any of that. I would say I am an average looking black girl who happens to be pretty.

i agree with this

White guys DO not try and holler at me-the 'vanilla ice/rapper type guys do, but not articulant educated white guys. A black dude especially the hip hop tyes love me though. I don't know, maybe my look is trendy? Anyways this thread has some excellent observations. I always considered my self to be pretty and always wondered why white guys or any other race besides black (i had my first indian dude try and holler at me the other day) don't try and hit on me.... This is a good read though.

exact opposite for me. i attract the thugs and the corp. america execs. i think that helped me alot in the corp world.

Sorry I couldn't vote, i flelt none of the choices fit me, i don't consider myself light nor dark.

me too. i'm in the middle

 

[cocoberry10]

I think non-black men who like women of other races don't care what complexion she is.

I'm Black America and darker and get hit on by both Black and non-Black men equally. But my fair skinned friends also get hit on by men of others races, and I don't feel like it's been more for me or them??? Not sure, I'll have to start keeping tabs now

Sometimes when non-Black men hit on me, I feel that it's to fulfill some fantasy or b/c they think I look exotic. Other times, I genuinely believe they are attracted to me and would like to pursue a date or two (or three ).

I've been told equally by Black and Non-Black men that I have a beautiful complexion, so I think that all men can be fascinated by a woman who looks unique.

Although I'm darker, I've had a few non-Black men (and even a few Black ones ) ask me what I am. Some people have thought I had some mixture of Black, and Indian or Middle Eastern (like the dark Middle Easterners/Indians, since they can be as dark as dark-skinned Africans). I can't really tell why, but they say it's my features (I have small features, not traditionally "African" features). To me, I think I just look like a regular old Black girl. If someone asks and it's genuine and respectful, I respectfully correct them. But when someone gets pushy, I just...

Kick, push, kick, push, kick, push, Kick, Push, Coast
And away he rolled
Just a rebel
Looking for a place to go
And so they kick, push, kick, push, kick, push, kick, push, coast
So come and skate with me
Just a rebel
Looking for a place to be
So let's kick...and push...and coast
​

Sorry Girls, I'm in the absolute silliest mood today!

 

[Shimmie]

I totally agree with you. I am from fort lauderdale, but go to school in JAX. White men scare the heck out of me. They look at you like you're some strange exotic animal and make outrageous statements to me up here in JAX, like " i've got 22s" or "i have a big d***". No! Seriously.. that's their come-on! I don't get it so much in Sofla. I think white men aren't used to beautiful classy black women at my school, at least not one that will give them the time of day ( literally). I think thats why they go insane and stalk us up here. I'm of light complexion, btw.

Okay...so you wrote this reply in code....(light green) I changed it to dark blue. Okay, now that I can 'read it'... I agree with how you feel. Some men do not have a 'nice' approach. White or Black, I do not give them any type of encouragement. I do thank God for the ones in all races who do show us respect.

I can say this. Men of all races who disrespect 'us' also disrespect 'all' women. White men who act like a fool are simply fools doing what fools do. So, don't think of all of them that way. I know quite a few very nice ones. And there is nothing special 'we' have to do to get their attention or affections, except to be who we are. AND for every nice and descent White man, there is still an even nicer Black man. White will never rule.

BTW: "Jax" is my 'other' home.

 

[SweetNic_JA]

I think white men are attracted to size more than color. It's important not to rule that out. They will go for a size 0/2 woman before they look to a size 7/8 woman. I believe if a white man had to choose between a light-skinned 0/2 and a dark-skinned 7/8, he would most definitely go for the light-skinned one because she's tiny. Even Rozlip's stripper girl would be too thick for an average white man. Her body type will more likely attract a black man before it attracts a white one.

If the playing field is equal (in terms of size) then yes, he would probably date the more different one. . .the question is, will he think the darker-skinned woman is too different to marry and incorpate into his family? I see many interracial courtships where the woman is dark and the man is white, but i get the impression that more light-skinned women marry into white families.

 

[simone103]

This is interesting, because a black friend of mine said that he sees white men mostly going after darker-skinned black women.

 

[Lindy]

I'm African American and light skinned, but people generally look at me and think I'm Hispanic. I get hit on by all types of men but lately I've noticed that more and more white men are approaching me. I think that it's only because society in general has become so much more accepting of interracial relationships. I've dated (casually) a couple of white men before but haven't ever been in a serious relationship with one. I'm a bit older than most of you here, so I'm kind of from the old school when it comes to dating outside my race. It just feels more comfortable to me to hang out with someone who can relate to the experiences I've had as an African American... I'm not saying that I'm not open to it (because let's face it, it's slim pickins out there these days!!), but I'm honestly not sure how I'd feel about being in a relationship with someone outside of my race...

 

[zailless]

I honestly believe that white men when they say they prefer black women, they like all that is black. they like the hair, the afro, the dark skin. i went to dunn's riveer falls with my brother and my boyfriend. after the sun turned my skin jet black and shiny, my brother said 'you are sooo black' ( he is the yellow skinned and my sis is pink skinned type fair).

i went out to sea with my boyfriend and he said to me ' i have never seen you looking more beautiful than today, you look even prettier in your own environ.' when i met this guy my hair was 2 inches long and crusty and he thought it was the cutest thing. he never once saw me with long hair or cared. i truly think when white men like black women, they like everything about them. i even find that they are more real than our black men who basically want a mixed breed. everyone wants a mixed breed and thats fine. to each man his own, but i love the white guys who just accept every darn thing about being a dark skinned pure black babe. definitely not going back. ahahah

what was said about size is true. i think i attract white men cause i am size 0.

 

[FlowerHair]

I honestly believe that white men when they say they prefer black women, they like all that is black. they like the hair, the afro, the dark skin. i went to dunn's riveer falls with my brother and my boyfriend. after the sun turned my skin jet black and shiny, my brother said 'you are sooo black' ( he is the yellow skinned and my sis is pink skinned type fair).

i went out to sea with my boyfriend and he said to me ' i have never seen you looking more beautiful than today, you look even prettier in your own environ.' when i met this guy my hair was 2 inches long and crusty and he thought it was the cutest thing. he never once saw me with long hair or cared. i truly think when white men like black women, they like everything about them. i even find that they are more real than our black men who basically want a mixed breed. everyone wants a mixed breed and thats fine. to each man his own, but i love the white guys who just accept every darn thing about being a dark skinned pure black babe. definitely not going back. ahahah

what was said about size is true. i think i attract white men cause i am size 0.

I agree with everything you said. That's exactly what I wanted to say

 

[SweetNic_JA]

I honestly believe that white men when they say they prefer black women, they like all that is black. they like the hair, the afro, the dark skin. i went to dunn's riveer falls with my brother and my boyfriend. after the sun turned my skin jet black and shiny, my brother said 'you are sooo black' ( he is the yellow skinned and my sis is pink skinned type fair).

i went out to sea with my boyfriend and he said to me ' i have never seen you looking more beautiful than today, you look even prettier in your own environ.' when i met this guy my hair was 2 inches long and crusty and he thought it was the cutest thing. he never once saw me with long hair or cared. i truly think when white men like black women, they like everything about them. i even find that they are more real than our black men who basically want a mixed breed. everyone wants a mixed breed and thats fine. to each man his own, but i love the white guys who just accept every darn thing about being a dark skinned pure black babe. definitely not going back. ahahah

what was said about size is true. i think i attract white men cause i am size 0.

I can sooo relate to this. I would wake up in the morning with my 4a/4b twa smashed into the pillows and my baby would turn over and say "baby yoou look so beautiful". He always always complimented me, especially when I started wearing out my natural hair. He isn't white though, he's Japanese.

 

[*Happily Me*]

I can sooo relate to this. I would wake up in the morning with my 4a/4b twa smashed into the pillows and my baby would turn over and say "baby yoou look so beautiful". He always always complimented me, especially when I started wearing out my natural hair. He isn't white though, he's Japanese.

i hear ya on this

i'm sort of seeing this filipino guy. it's nice not having to straighten my hair. he even likes my plain ponytails.