Is It Easier For The Chocolate Sisters To Get Men Of Other Races!!!!!

[FunkyMunky]

As a native Floridian who very recently relocated (oct this year), I think that what you are experiencing is very normal. You are correct, many of the non-black men in South FL like their black women dark. I was a stripper, and I made far more money once I moved into the mainstream (i.e. white) clubs. Black men may like them light, but the 'others' like their coffee black--very little cream if any.

But you are also in a region with a pitiful percentage of decent black men. And at 30, the pickings are extremely slim. Just a fact. I wish I had advice, but many of my friends in your age range are having the same issue.

Thank goodness, someone else from South Florida has experienced this and has friends that are in the same boat. It is pitiful.

Honestly I don't think whether someone is dark or light skin determines if mine outside of one's race makes a pass on them. I believe how physically attractive you are (intially) along with your personality determines how often an individual gets hit on.

Unfortunately, I have to respectfully disagree with this one. Only because I am physically attractive but I also believe that we all have preferences. For instance, I know that I am more attracted to medium brown skinned black men and the middle eastern/italian/mediterranean look. I have never been attracted to blond hair. I will admit that there are attractive men that have blonde hair but I just can't get into them so their personality means nothing. Like Brad Pitt, he is fine but I would take Colin Farrell or George Clooney over him any day. When I walk into a club or a bar my eyes automatically gravitate towards my preferences and it is in no way intentional it just is. Some people like redheads, some like brunettes and some like blondes. Some people like tall men etc.. But I just feel that medium to dark complected girls get more play with men of other races. Maybe they stand out more to white men........ I don't know.

 

[StrawberryQueen]

Dagnabit! I knew it! This girl is my inspiration.

She's unmistakably gorgeous, but I didn't think she was dark enough. I've gone back and forth on this for a while. Most of my readers are black women and I'm afraid they won't believe that she's so popular in a white club unless she's lc. But my own experience leads me to believe that she'd be more popular. Oh the agonies of being an author...

That's true. Most of us have had experiences w/ light women being the "queens" so to show a darker woman getting that same attention may be unbelieveable. But if the darker woman is getting more attention than the lighter woman in an all white crowd, I'd say it's believeable.

 

[chocolatemom_of_3]

Thank goodness, someone else from South Florida has experienced this and has friends that are in the same boat. It is pitiful.



Unfortunately, I have to respectfully disagree with this one. Only because I am physically attractive but I also believe that we all have preferences. For instance, I know that I am more attracted to medium brown skinned black men and the middle eastern/italian/mediterranean look. I have never been attracted to blond hair. I will admit that there are attractive men that have blonde hair but I just can't get into them so their personality means nothing. Like Brad Pitt, he is fine but I would take Colin Farrell or George Clooney over him any day. When I walk into a club or a bar my eyes automatically gravitate towards my preferences and it is in no way intentional it just is. Some people like redheads, some like brunettes and some like blondes. Some people like tall men etc.. But I just feel that medium to dark complected girls get more play with men of other races. Maybe they stand out more to white men........ I don't know.

Sweetie, I'm aight, but I'm far from drop dead gorgeous--and I've always gotten looks from many non-black men. Oh, and island men (but that is mainly b/c I have a gap in my teeth ).

But trust me, it is not just you. I have several friends and acquaintances that are quite attractive but can't seem to find a decent man in South FL.

 

[Radianthealth]

I have dark skin and mostly black men hit on me, everyone is interested though white and hispanic (I can't say Asian though, because there aren't many where I live). I feel like I am pretty but sometimes it feels like left and right men are trying to get at me

I guess I am approachable, this is what my husband says.

I have noticed however that most of the interacial couples I see have a chocolate sister with a white man. The sister is usually very beautiful but not by "video girl" standards but very regal I guess would be the word.

 

[Hairgasm]

I consider myself medium brown. I'm one of the darkest of my brothers and sisters.

I get hit on my men of all races, but the over whelming majority are white men. Usually of Eastern European descent. It's kind of funny actually, I can sometimes just look at a guy and I know what's coming. "I just had to tell you, you're beautiful! You're soooo exotic looking! Where are you from?"

I ended up marrying one of those men. My husband is Lithuanian, first generation.

Color perception is a funny thing. What one person sees, another doesn't.

Camellia, in your pictures, you look almost beige to me, not medium brown. More like a tan color, but not medium brown.

Medium brown, to me, would be like Vivica A. Fox or Jada Pinkett-Smith. But whatever, just my opinion and perception. Carry on...

 

[AtlantaJJ]

Color perception is a funny thing. What one person sees, another doesn't.

Camellia, in your pictures, you look almost beige to me, not medium brown. More like a tan color, but not medium brown.

Medium brown, to me, would be like Vivica A. Fox or Jada Pinkett-Smith. But whatever, just my opinion and perception. Carry on...

Jada medium brown

 

[Hairgasm]

I was thinking about this the other day, so thanks for bringing up the topic!

My mother is a redbone like Vanessa L. Williams' complexion, and I am the darkest one in my family. My color is pure brown, like peanut butter. Not light, not dark, just brown.

We were not allowed to discuss color and shades in my family, so no one did. My mother never even mentioned the fact that she's a redbone, and I've never heard her refer to herself as light-skinned.

It was a GOOD thing for me, and has helped me to develop a healthy attitude regarding skin color. I see beauty in us all.

As a brown-skinned woman, I've never been taunted by our people for being "high yellow" or "black as night."

Do y'all think that people from either extreme (light or dark) are the most color-struck with color complexes, or do you think we're all guilty of it for the most part?

 

[JazzyDez]

Maybe white men or men from other races feel like if they are going to date a black female they might as well get one that they think is the "most ethnic" because of their skin color to get the "full experience"

 

[Hairgasm]

Jada medium brown

Yeah, isn't she the color of a paper bag? Hate to be so i'norant by saying that, but isn't she?

 

[Hairgasm]

Maybe white men or men from other races feel like if they are going to date a black female they might as well get one that they think is the "most ethnic" because of their skin color to get the "full experience"

That's it right there. Think of David Bowie and Iman, with her pretty African self.

 

[rozlips]

I think to most whites, 'black is black.' Unless you're so light its impossible to tell, I don't think they make much difference based on shade. If a white guy is open to dating black women it really isn't a big deal. Probably the only ones who would be trying to get 'the full experience' would be those with a preference or fetish, and I can't stand those.

Maybe white men or men from other races feel like if they are going to date a black female they might as well get one that they think is the "most ethnic" because of their skin color to get the "full experience"

 

[carpediem628]

I was thinking about this the other day, so thanks for bringing up the topic!

My mother is a redbone like Vanessa L. Williams' complexion, and I am the darkest one in my family. My color is pure brown, like peanut butter. Not light, not dark, just brown.

We were not allowed to discuss color and shades in my family, so no one did. My mother never even mentioned the fact that she's a redbone, and I've never heard her refer to herself as light-skinned.

It was a GOOD thing for me, and has helped me to develop a healthy attitude regarding skin color. I see beauty in us all.

As a brown-skinned woman, I've never been taunted by our people for being "high yellow" or "black as night."

Do y'all think that people from either extreme (light or dark) are the most color-struck with color complexes, or do you think we're all guilty of it for the most part?[/quote]

I think we are all guilty of it, but those of us at either end of the spectrum are the ones who have been adversely affected by it, and therefore, probably have a lot more to say about it. But the people in the middle have just as much responsibility for colorism as everyone else because I am very sure "brown" people have used the terms "high yellow" and "black as night" when describing someone, or even when attempting to degrade a person.

 

[thefineprint]

my fiance is white and i am a lighter skinned AA woman. when it comes to him being attracted to me i don't think it has anything to do with race. he thinks i'm beautiful, not a beautiful 'black woman'. in my case, how complected i am had nothing to do with the attraction

 

[rozlips]

Do y'all think that people from either extreme (light or dark) are the most color-struck with color complexes, or do you think we're all guilty of it for the most part?

But the people in the middle have just as much responsibility for colorism as everyone else because I am very sure "brown" people have used the terms "high yellow" and "black as night" when describing someone, or even when attempting to degrade a person.

See, I wonder about the same thing. I'm in the middle, and color was not an issue in my home. I really didn't realize it was such a big deal until I started working with teen girls.

 

[JazzyDez]

I think to most whites, 'black is black.' Unless you're so light its impossible to tell, I don't think they make much difference based on shade. If a white guy is open to dating black women it really isn't a big deal. Probably the only ones who would be trying to get 'the full experience' would be those with a preference or fetish, and I can't stand those.

erplexed "fetish" for dark skinned women sounds disturbing

I just based that theory from what I see. I have a dark skinned friend who is much darker than I and very pretty, and white guys seem to hit on her on occasion. I rarely get hit on by white guys and neither do my other lighter-skinned friends who are also very pretty.

 

[rozlips]

erplexed "fetish" for dark skinned women sounds disturbing

You don't know the half. I was on a forum for white men for black women, and those guys were some serious freaks. One of them had a collection of black Barbie dolls.

 

[JazzyDez]

I was thinking about this the other day, so thanks for bringing up the topic!

My mother is a redbone like Vanessa L. Williams' complexion, and I am the darkest one in my family. My color is pure brown, like peanut butter. Not light, not dark, just brown.

We were not allowed to discuss color and shades in my family, so no one did. My mother never even mentioned the fact that she's a redbone, and I've never heard her refer to herself as light-skinned.

It was a GOOD thing for me, and has helped me to develop a healthy attitude regarding skin color. I see beauty in us all.

As a brown-skinned woman, I've never been taunted by our people for being "high yellow" or "black as night."

Do y'all think that people from either extreme (light or dark) are the most color-struck with color complexes, or do you think we're all guilty of it for the most part?

I think those with some sort of self image issues especially those dealing with race and color would be moreso attracted to their complete opposite, the opposite of what they are unhappy with within themselves. I am in no way saying this goes for all cases of "opposites attract" but I am sure for some.

 

[JazzyDez]

You don't know the half. I was on a forum for white men for black women, and those guys were some serious freaks. One of them had a collection of black Barbie dolls.

ummmm ok.

 

[BackToMyRoots]

I was thinking about this the other day, so thanks for bringing up the topic!

My mother is a redbone like Vanessa L. Williams' complexion, and I am the darkest one in my family. My color is pure brown, like peanut butter. Not light, not dark, just brown.

We were not allowed to discuss color and shades in my family, so no one did. My mother never even mentioned the fact that she's a redbone, and I've never heard her refer to herself as light-skinned.

It was a GOOD thing for me, and has helped me to develop a healthy attitude regarding skin color. I see beauty in us all.

As a brown-skinned woman, I've never been taunted by our people for being "high yellow" or "black as night."

Do y'all think that people from either extreme (light or dark) are the most color-struck with color complexes, or do you think we're all guilty of it for the most part?

I can honestly say that i don't look at black people in terms of color. I see individuals as either beautiful or not beautiful, tall or short, thick or thin, funny, etc. That's why i can find Beyonce pretty and India Arie gorgeous at the same time. I'm a woman of a darker hue, when I look in the mirror I see someone that is attractive (not to toot my own horn). I also know that my body type...i'm tall and slim with a little bit of everything...may not be what some black men initially find attractive or some white men for that matter. So, even though I'm approached by men of all races it all comes down to individual preference. If a brother is into big butts and boobs, he's not going to look my way, or he may notice my smile and decide to look a little deeper.

I'm also honest enough to recognize that because i may have what some call the "model look" (i get asked that question alot) that men will approach me for that reason as well. Across all races there is this fascination with models...which i think is completely shallow...but that's apart of it as well.

 

[ChasingBliss]

I'm very dark and I usually get more compliment from white people in general. It's also funny b/c the black girls at my school always compliment me but black guys tend to vary. There are instances in the past where black girls look at me like I'm supposed to be pretty and are confused. Skin color plays a role but I've found more and more that if you are a pretty girl, guys will hit on you regardless.

I beleive this too.

Well Im lighter complected and it's about equal with me. When Im in the city, white men hit on me, when Im in the hood, black and asian men hit on me. Men just like women PERIOD, lol....

eta: I live in NY

 

[LocksOfLuV]

Well this is a very eye opening thread for me. I am not light and I am not dark. I am however moreso on the lighter side. I would say I am a honey brown-like sanaa lathan's color. I am very pretty (by my own standards) and do not look "mixed" or any of that. I would say I am an average looking black girl who happens to be pretty.

White guys DO not try and holler at me-the 'vanilla ice/rapper type guys do, but not articulant educated white guys. A black dude especially the hip hop tyes love me though. I don't know, maybe my look is trendy? Anyways this thread has some excellent observations. I always considered my self to be pretty and always wondered why white guys or any other race besides black (i had my first indian dude try and holler at me the other day) don't try and hit on me.... This is a good read though.

Sorry I couldn't vote, i flelt none of the choices fit me, i don't consider myself light nor dark.

 

[breezy]

Well this is a very eye opening thread for me. I am not light and I am not dark. I am however moreso on the lighter side. I would say I am a honey brown-like sanaa lathan's color. I am very pretty (by my own standards) and do not look "mixed" or any of that. I would say I am an average looking black girl who happens to be pretty.

White guys DO not try and holler at me-the 'vanilla ice/rapper type guys do, but not articulant educated white guys. A black dude especially the hip hop tyes love me though. I don't know, maybe my look is trendy? Anyways this thread has some excellent observations. I always considered my self to be pretty and always wondered why white guys or any other race besides black (i had my first indian dude try and holler at me the other day) don't try and hit on me.... This is a good read though.

Sorry I couldn't vote, i flelt none of the choices fit me, i don't consider myself light nor dark.

What she said. Esp. the Vanilla Ice thing

 

[camellia]

Color perception is a funny thing. What one person sees, another doesn't.

Camellia, in your pictures, you look almost beige to me, not medium brown. More like a tan color, but not medium brown.

Medium brown, to me, would be like Vivica A. Fox or Jada Pinkett-Smith. But whatever, just my opinion and perception. Carry on...

I love the cats in your avatar.

The whole light/medium/dark/yellow/ red thing is defiantly interesting. I've seen AA ladies called "yellow" and they looked almost white to me. I've also heard women described as "light skinned" and their complexions were darker than mine...

In my family I've always been "dark". It wasn't considered a negative thing, it was just that my skin tone is much deeper than lost of my sisters. I was always pretty happy with my skin, I'm able to tan (yes I know it's bad) to a deep bronze in the summer without effort while my sisters burn.

 

[Dee-Licious]

In my family I've always been "dark". It wasn't considered a negative thing, it was just that my skin tone is much deeper than lost of my sisters. I was always pretty happy with my skin, I'm able to tan (yes I know it's bad) to a deep bronze in the summer without effort while my sisters burn.

This is NOT a negative comment in any shape, form, or fashion. But where I'm from you would be considered "light bright damn near white" lachen: I'm from da south). It shocked me when you called yourself medium because you look wayyyy on the lighter end of the spectrum. I'm not saying I'm right or wrong, because hell it doesn't matter... but that's just my perception/opinion.


On-topic: I'm middle complected, closer to the darker side and I have had a lot of asians and mexicans "hollering" at me as of late. I have no idea why though...

 

[camellia]

The same with me. Men of other races, usually Italian men and spanish me hit on me all the time. I married an Italian because that is who the Lord showed me would be my husband. At first I was like "Lord, you know I like my dark skinned brothers" but when the Lord spoke to me about him (my husband) I was obediant and I'm so grateful I was because he is one of the best things that ever happened to me and I have been truly blessed because of my obediance to God and not listening to myself!

That's so sweet!

 

[Arcadian]

hmmm.. Well I consider myself to be pretty dark. Considerably so than my siblings.

I went on a date with a black guy only once. Later after the date he said he was intimadated and turned off by my intelligence and that I "talked white" and was reserved. Oh, but I was cute.


Ok damn, I'm geeky but come on!!


Back in the days of dating, black men generally did not even want to speak to me. hell its not like I'm not cute! But I wasn't "light" and I wasn't "white" so I guess that disqualified me.

One thing I have heard from guys I dated is that they just don't see me as being black. So dunno what that means either

I do get hit on by a lot of white guys, especially of european descent. I always have. Could be how I carry myself, how I talk, my interests, or what have you. I really just don't get it myself.

SO is white, told me he had to import me cause he couldn't find him no women up here ( hell he could have been blue with yellow polkadots and I would have been fine with it as long as he was respectful of me, intelligent, and cute) I have NEVER been picky as far as color was concerned. But if you do have to work with what you get handed sometimes. I think I made out ok

I dated more men who had a fetishism about dating a woman with muscles than someone who was black, which made me extremely gunshy in the dating game.


-A

 

[dannie]

hmmm.. Well I consider myself to be pretty dark. Considerably so than my siblings.

I went on a date with a black guy only once. Later after the date he said he was intimadated and turned off by my intelligence and that I "talked white" and was reserved. Oh, but I was cute.


Ok damn, I'm geeky but come on!!


Back in the days of dating, black men generally did not even want to speak to me. hell its not like I'm not cute! But I wasn't "light" and I wasn't "white" so I guess that disqualified me.

One thing I have heard from guys I dated is that they just don't see me as being black. So dunno what that means either

I do get hit on by a lot of white guys, especially of european descent. I always have. Could be how I carry myself, how I talk, my interests, or what have you. I really just don't get it myself.

SO is white, told me he had to import me cause he couldn't find him no women up here ( hell he could have been blue with yellow polkadots and I would have been fine with it as long as he was respectful of me, intelligent, and cute) I have NEVER been picky as far as color was concerned. But if you do have to work with what you get handed sometimes. I think I made out ok

I dated more men who had a fetishism about dating a woman with muscles than someone who was black, which made me extremely gunshy in the dating game.


-A

OT...but your freakin gorgeous!!!!


No homo...

 

[Crackers Phinn]

On some of the stripper boards the girls complain about not making as much as the white girls in clubs, but most of them aren't dark.

There is a such thing as stripper boards? Foe True?


This girl is absolutely beautiful, but damn the clear heels to hell!

 

[creolebeauty]

I love the cats in your avatar.

The whole light/medium/dark/yellow/ red thing is defiantly interesting. I've seen AA ladies called "yellow" and they looked almost white to me. I've also heard women described as "light skinned" and their complexions were darker than mine...

In my family I've always been "dark". It wasn't considered a negative thing, it was just that my skin tone is much deeper than lost of my sisters. I was always pretty happy with my skin, I'm able to tan (yes I know it's bad) to a deep bronze in the summer without effort while my sisters burn.

I know where you are coming from. My sister is about your complexion and everyone in my family considers her "dark." In school she was called high yellow like the rest of us, but in our family she is the darkest one. Mind you I come from a very fair skin Creole family (most look White or very close.)

I get lots of attention from Middle Eastern, Indian, and Hispanic men. Usually the think I am part of their racial group. When I tell them I'm Black they lose interest. I get the thug White guys sometimes. They try to talk extra hip to impress me. Black men approach me the most. About a year ago I was attracting thugs and "ballers".........now I get approached by professional Black men (I lost 15 lbs, the thugs aren't feeling me any more, Yeah!!!!!!!) My boyfriend is an attorney. I don't think he would have approached me when I was 15 lbs larger.

 

[Belle Du Jour]

I think to most whites, 'black is black.' Unless you're so light its impossible to tell, I don't think they make much difference based on shade. If a white guy is open to dating black women it really isn't a big deal. Probably the only ones who would be trying to get 'the full experience' would be those with a preference or fetish, and I can't stand those.

I have heard white people say the color issue in our race is ridiculous since we're all black. So yes, I really don't think they categorize us like we do to ourselves. But I do think white women are pushing the agenda that white is the standard of beauty.