Is It Easier For The Chocolate Sisters To Get Men Of Other Races!!!!!

[rozlips]

Oh please do try. My goodness. I don't even know if it's a good thing or if it's kinda sad or what.

Aha! They regrouped and renamed themselves. I know its them, its the same picture! They have over 300 members. I haven't been there in several years, but it was interesting.

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Cafeaulait2CaramelLadies4WhiteMen/

I don't even know if it's a good thing or if it's kinda sad or what.

I didn't know what to make of it either. And you know me, I pretty much have an opinion on EVERYTHING! I mean, that's the beauty of the internet. Specialization. You can pretty much ask for anything you want. OTOH, racial preferences set my teeth on edge, so I dunno!

 

[BackToMyRoots]

I get hit on all the time by men of other races, mostly white, followed by all others. To be fair, black men approach me as well...The race of the men that approaches me varies depending on where I am.

My wierdest story was the 75 year old white architect.

My cousin and I were at an industry lounge party...at the time she was modeling, mainly print work in Essence and other mags...So she was there to network, I just tagged along. Anyhoo...this guy comes over and starts chatting me up...

Him: Are you a model
Me: No, I'm just here with my cousin
We engage in small talk...he tells the bartender to bring us another round of whatever we're drinking...Mind you his has a wedding band on his finger and he is OLD...i'm just being my friendly self at this point.

Him: I would love to take you shopping, can i do that? (Ewww)
Me: No...why would you want to do that?
Him: I think you have long beautiful legs and I would love to see you in some high heels
Me: throwing up in my mouth (yucK)
Me: How do you think you're wife would feel about that?
Him: "Not missing a beat"...Well, after so many years of the same thing you need something different.
Me:Well that something different won't be me ---I then went on to tell him he should be ashamed of himself....lecture him on infidelity...he didn't care...still tried to push up...yuck

 

[simplertimes]

Aha! They regrouped and renamed themselves. I know its them, its the same picture! They have over 300 members. I haven't been there in several years, but it was interesting.

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Cafeaulait2CaramelLadies4WhiteMen/



I didn't know what to make of it either. And you know me, I pretty much have an opinion on EVERYTHING! I mean, that's the beauty of the internet. Specialization. You can pretty much ask for anything you want. OTOH, racial preferences set my teeth on edge, so I dunno!

I have to agree with that one.... I can't stand preferences that close out other people based on stereotypes or trends..........

 

[Shimmie]

I've had some very bold "propositions" lately! I'm a little shocked because it seems it's increased over the past year... I thought it was just me...or my surroundings...interesting

You are not alone. I'm still wondering what's going on. Is there something in the water?

But may I say this? God has a way of turning the tide. He turns things around. Where years ago we were considered not beautiful or good enough to be with a White man, NOW we are. And if the truth be known, we always were! It was 'fear' that White men stayed away from us publically. AND white women who were intimidated by our Black Beauty which could never be denied.

There's an old saying. "You can't keep a good man down." Welll you can't keep a good and beautiful Black woman down...period." We've always had the beauty and the quality and it's now being publically acknowledged by those we never expected to hear/see it from.

I still love Black men...yes I've been hurt by them, but I still love them. One has to come forth one day to steal my heart away. I especially love Sidney Poitier.... .

 

[Aubergold]

Aha! They regrouped and renamed themselves. I know its them, its the same picture! They have over 300 members. I haven't been there in several years, but it was interesting.

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Cafeaulait2CaramelLadies4WhiteMen/



I didn't know what to make of it either. And you know me, I pretty much have an opinion on EVERYTHING! I mean, that's the beauty of the internet. Specialization. You can pretty much ask for anything you want. OTOH, racial preferences set my teeth on edge, so I dunno!

WOW, I guess I cant knock their hussle. They just better not cock-block if some white men want dc women.

 

[dannie]

I get hit on all the time by men of other races, mostly white, followed by all others. To be fair, black men approach me as well...The race of the men that approaches me varies depending on where I am.

My wierdest story was the 75 year old white architect.

My cousin and I were at an industry lounge party...at the time she was modeling, mainly print work in Essence and other mags...So she was there to network, I just tagged along. Anyhoo...this guy comes over and starts chatting me up...

Him: Are you a model
Me: No, I'm just here with my cousin
We engage in small talk...he tells the bartender to bring us another round of whatever we're drinking...Mind you his has a wedding band on his finger and he is OLD...i'm just being my friendly self at this point.

Him: I would love to take you shopping, can i do that? (Ewww)
Me: No...why would you want to do that?
Him: I think you have long beautiful legs and I would love to see you in some high heels
Me: throwing up in my mouth (yucK)
Me: How do you think you're wife would feel about that?
Him: "Not missing a beat"...Well, after so many years of the same thing you need something different.
Me:Well that something different won't be me ---I then went on to tell him he should be ashamed of himself....lecture him on infidelity...he didn't care...still tried to push up...yuck

Girl, I find myself in akward convo with some old white men too!!

I think the funniest was when I was like 18-19 getting my car fixed. I dropped it off and was waiting for my bf to pick me up. This old white guy 45+ was giving me the "eye". I was like, ewww. He walks up to me and tells me I'm gorgeous and gives me his card. He was a lawyer. I was like "what for" he was like "just call me". I was like erplexed Then my boyfriend rolled up in his Pinto or whatever bootleg car he had and the guy just looks at me. Then was like "yeah, definatly give me a call" I felt so stuipd for some reason.

Anyway I went home and told my mom what happened. She said let me see his card, I better not know his ass (her profession she deals w/ a lot of lawyers). Sure enough, she knew him, and she was PISSED!!! She was going on and on "He's too damn old for you, why is he hitting on lil' girls, I think his ass is married, I oughta call him and cuss him out, blah, blah, blah".

I was like

 

[Growinpainz]

I've dated a few white guys who only dated me b/c they never had a black girl before but one told me that he prefers lighter blk women with long hair so i'm like why are you dating me (i'm the complete opposite)

 

[upandcoming]

Honestly, I feel like black men have really skewed perceptions of beauty because of their upbringing. Case in point, when I was 16, I took a LOT of personal care. I had special lotin mixes (vitamin E, coca butter, vaseline, and a coca butter stick DAILY. The entire neutrogena facial line, ballet lessons, working out, tons of water etc). I had my hair long and it was ALWAYS shiney. I always had make up on. Guys flocked to me; black guys in particular.

Two years later I was natural, didn't wear make up and barely ANYONE talked to me. The few guys that looked at me were Hispanic or white.

My sister is married to a white man and she is always talking about how he's more accepting of her natural hair and minimal make up. Maybe it's because they don't understand the difference between relaxed and natural hair or because they're not used to their mommys spending the entire Saturday at the salon.

 

[*ElleB]

Girl, I find myself in akward convo with some old white men too!!

I think the funniest was when I was like 18-19 getting my car fixed. I dropped it off and was waiting for my bf to pick me up. This old white guy 45+ was giving me the "eye". I was like, ewww. He walks up to me and tells me I'm gorgeous and gives me his card. He was a lawyer. I was like "what for" he was like "just call me". I was like erplexed Then my boyfriend rolled up in his Pinto or whatever bootleg car he had and the guy just looks at me. Then was like "yeah, definatly give me a call" I felt so stuipd for some reason.

Anyway I went home and told my mom what happened. She said let me see his card, I better not know his ass (her profession she deals w/ a lot of lawyers). Sure enough, she knew him, and she was PISSED!!! She was going on and on "He's too damn old for you, why is he hitting on lil' girls, I think his ass is married, I oughta call him and cuss him out, blah, blah, blah".

I was like

Your momma was really 'bout get 'em

But yes, I do notice that White Guys seem infatuated for some reason. I'm dark complected, btw....

 

[AtlantaJJ]

Honestly, I feel like black men have really skewed perceptions of beauty because of their upbringing. Case in point, when I was 16, I took a LOT of personal care. I had special lotin mixes (vitamin E, coca butter, vaseline, and a coca butter stick DAILY. The entire neutrogena facial line, ballet lessons, working out, tons of water etc). I had my hair long and it was ALWAYS shiney. I always had make up on. Guys flocked to me; black guys in particular.

Two years later I was natural, didn't wear make up and barely ANYONE talked to me. The few guys that looked at me were Hispanic or white.

My sister is married to a white man and she is always talking about how he's more accepting of her natural hair and minimal make up. Maybe it's because they don't understand the difference between relaxed and natural hair or because they're not used to their mommys spending the entire Saturday at the salon.

I didn't think about it directly but if I were to loose the "hair" I would loose my appeal to most black men entirely. I'm 5'11 and athlletic, that's intimidating to them enough it seems. I asked one guy to meet me at the park for a run...and he was like , but he said he liked to workout and liked me because I was fit...so what gave there. White guys are so into outdoor sports and out doors in general.

 

[FunkyMunky]

I don't want to hijack my own thread but I have to say it.

I rarely get approached by black men and I am a light complected sista.

Now, I can get a thug, gold teeth and all any day of the week. The thugs seem like the only brothas that don't discriminate. However, a black man with a college degree, won't look my way. I have been at the stop light on many occasions, with a black guy in the next lane and he intentionally won't look my way but when I am walking with a man of another race he's all in our faces knowing he wouldn't holla if I was alone.

Me and my friends call them the $30,000 n****'s, because we feel that once they make a little bit of money and get a decent vehicle they give us their a** to kiss and 9 times of out of 10 we are making more than them. I am not high maintenance on someone else's dime so they can't go there. Honestly, half the time I don't know what a brotha is looking for. They say they want an independent, beautiful, educated black woman but turn their heads on us. Many times I feel like they look down on me like I don't have s*** and I need them to give it to me.

Like another poster said, men holla when I look a hot mess. Why is that? Do I have to look damn near homeless for a man to feel like he saw a diamond in the rough and turned me into something great? Why can't I catch a man in a suit, confident, nice smile, with my stuff together? Could they be assuming I'm already taken?

Sometimes I go out and no one approaches me....(but a thug or a boy). It's been like that my whole life.

I am just over 30, attractive, exotic looking (many people think I am black and asian but I am 100% AA) well educated, home owner and I know how to let a man be the man. I am very nice and down to earth and when a brotha does approach me and he sees that I'm cool they always make it seem like I was going to be nasty. I am never disrespectful.

I am so close to moving to meet a quality partner. Brothas in South Florida ain't trying to holla and I can't get no play from the other races because the Latinas and Caribbean sistas got that on lock.

Someone help!!! Tell me where to go LOLOLOL

 

[dannie]

Your momma was really 'bout get 'em

But yes, I do notice that White Guys seem infatuated for some reason. I'm dark complected, btw....

Yes she was!!! I'm dark complected as well

 

[Nice & Wavy]

I consider myself medium brown. I'm one of the darkest of my brothers and sisters.

I get hit on my men of all races, but the over whelming majority are white men. Usually of Eastern European descent. It's kind of funny actually, I can sometimes just look at a guy and I know what's coming. "I just had to tell you, you're beautiful! You're soooo exotic looking! Where are you from?"

I ended up marrying one of those men. My husband is Lithuanian, first generation.

The same with me. Men of other races, usually Italian men and spanish me hit on me all the time. I married an Italian because that is who the Lord showed me would be my husband. At first I was like "Lord, you know I like my dark skinned brothers" but when the Lord spoke to me about him (my husband) I was obediant and I'm so grateful I was because he is one of the best things that ever happened to me and I have been truly blessed because of my obediance to God and not listening to myself!

 

[dannie]

I don't want to hijack my own thread but I have to say it.

I rarely get approached by black men and I am a light complected sista.

Now, I can get a thug, gold teeth and all any day of the week. The thugs seem like the only brothas that don't discriminate. However, a black man with a college degree, won't look my way. I have been at the stop light on many occasions, with a black guy in the next lane and he intentionally won't look my way but when I am walking with a man of another race he's all in our faces knowing he wouldn't holla if I was alone.

Me and my friends call them the $30,000 n****'s, because we feel that once they make a little bit of money and get a decent vehicle they give us their a** to kiss and 9 times of out of 10 we are making more than them. I am not high maintenance on someone else's dime so they can't go there. Honestly, half the time I don't know what a brotha is looking for. They say they want an independent, beautiful, educated black woman but turn their heads on us. Many times I feel like they look down on me like I don't have s*** and I need them to give it to me.

Like another poster said, men holla when I look a hot mess. Why is that? Do I have to look damn near homeless for a man to feel like he saw a diamond in the rough and turned me into something great? Why can't I catch a man in a suit, confident, nice smile, with my stuff together? Could they be assuming I'm already taken?

Sometimes I go out and no one approaches me....(but a thug or a boy). It's been like that my whole life.

I am just over 30, attractive, exotic looking (many people think I am black and asian but I am 100% AA) well educated, home owner and I know how to let a man be the man. I am very nice and down to earth and when a brotha does approach me and he sees that I'm cool they always make it seem like I was going to be nasty. I am never disrespectful.

I am so close to moving to meet a quality partner. Brothas in South Florida ain't trying to holla and I can't get no play from the other races because the Latinas and Caribbean sistas got that on lock.

Someone help!!! Tell me where to go LOLOLOL

LA is the place for you. Mixed/"exotic" is all the rage out here.

I never thought about your theory that maybe guys want to feel like they found a "diamond in the rough" by hollerin when a woman isn't dressed up. Or maybe they feel like she's more approchable that way?

 

[Recherché.Beauty]

All the freaking time!

A lot of different races like me because I'm not your "typical" black woman. I'm not loud and obnoxious. I'm very quiet and I smile at everyone and say hello and compliment anybody on anything. That's why my boyfriend started going with me because I flashed my charming smile and he melted l0l...

 

[FunkyMunky]

All the freaking time!

A lot of different races like me because I'm not your "typical" black woman. I'm not loud and obnoxious. I'm very quiet and I smile at everyone and say hello and compliment anybody on anything. That's why my boyfriend started going with me because I flashed my charming smile and he melted l0l...

That's just it though, no one I know is loud and obnoxious and we are all in the same boat. All of us are attractive, sweet, educated (Masters+) and SINGLE with no real prospects. We are all willing to give any man a chance but times are scarce. I recently met a nice dark black guy (Bahamian) and we shall see where it goes. I just realized Bahamian, not AA.

 

[Recherché.Beauty]

I am just over 30, attractive, exotic looking (many people think I am black and asian but I am 100% AA) well educated, home owner and I know how to let a man be the man. I am very nice and down to earth and when a brotha does approach me and he sees that I'm cool they always make it seem like I was going to be nasty. I am never disrespectful.

They Think You're Asian TOO?? OMG everyone i know keeps calling my blackanese...I'm like I'm not black and chinese, but my mom does look like she's half asian or something...but I don't know..It kinda of irks my nerves a bit.

 

[Recherché.Beauty]

That's just it though, no one I know is loud and obnoxious and we are all in the same boat. All of us are attractive, sweet, educated (Masters+) and SINGLE with no real prospects. We are all willing to give any man a chance but times are scarce.

Well I don't know. Have you tried making conversation with some men? Sometime when I'm with my friends and I see something like outrageous or funny.. I'll look at a dude and give him this look because we both are thinking the same thing and he'll start laughing and I'll laugh and we start up a convo.. That's how I got a lot of male friends because I just be myself and everything I say is funny for some reason to everyone I talked to.

 

[MuseofTroy]

First of all, I didn't intend to offend any of my darker skin sisters. I just want and have to know. Also, I am speaking from my experience and those of my close friends.

I live in South Florida. I don't think that FL is the best place to find and date men of other races because even though FL is diverse, a lot of people are closed-minded. I also believe that the educated and anti-MTV/BET AA sisters are struggling with finding partners here. I feel that many of the men here are more interested in dating Caribbean women or native African women. All of the stereotypes about African American women have affected the way a lot of men of other races view us.

I am attractive and I have no problem getting a man but most of the time I see white men with darker complected women. My darker complected friends have white men checking for them all of the time. I get a few crumbs here and there. Why is that? I want to know.

1st Question - If you are a darker complected woman, do you feel you can get a man of another race easily because they hit on you regularly.

2nd Question - If you fit question #1, where do you live?

**White = anything other than black.

I know this may seem like a crazy question but I'm sure there is at least 1 other woman out there that feels the same way.

BTW, I have dated several middle eastern men, Arab and Non-Arab.

I consider myself a dark skin black woman and I actually get hit on by men of other races than black men. Although all my serious relationships have been with black men, I've dated more men outside of my race.

I live in Los Angeles CA but spent some time in NYC and Switzerland. I have to say in Europe the attention I received was ridiculous (not that I was complaining LOL)

Personally I don't really have any complaints. I still get attention from black men but I guess if I had come up with a numerical estimation more men outside of my race ask me out.

 

[FunkyMunky]

Well I don't know. Have you tried making conversation with some men? Sometime when I'm with my friends and I see something like outrageous or funny.. I'll look at a dude and give him this look because we both are thinking the same thing and he'll start laughing and I'll laugh and we start up a convo.. That's how I got a lot of male friends because I just be myself and everything I say is funny for some reason to everyone I talked to.

I will approach a man if I am interested for sure. Honestly, I think it's something on a deeper level. Are they intimidated by a woman who has her act together? Do they feel that the odds of them being exposed (fronting like they are confident) are greater with a woman who is on their level? I don't know what it is but I don't think it's as simple as me flirting because I do that.

 

[chocolatemom_of_3]

I don't want to hijack my own thread but I have to say it.

I rarely get approached by black men and I am a light complected sista.

Now, I can get a thug, gold teeth and all any day of the week. The thugs seem like the only brothas that don't discriminate. However, a black man with a college degree, won't look my way. I have been at the stop light on many occasions, with a black guy in the next lane and he intentionally won't look my way but when I am walking with a man of another race he's all in our faces knowing he wouldn't holla if I was alone.

Me and my friends call them the $30,000 n****'s, because we feel that once they make a little bit of money and get a decent vehicle they give us their a** to kiss and 9 times of out of 10 we are making more than them. I am not high maintenance on someone else's dime so they can't go there. Honestly, half the time I don't know what a brotha is looking for. They say they want an independent, beautiful, educated black woman but turn their heads on us. Many times I feel like they look down on me like I don't have s*** and I need them to give it to me.

Like another poster said, men holla when I look a hot mess. Why is that? Do I have to look damn near homeless for a man to feel like he saw a diamond in the rough and turned me into something great? Why can't I catch a man in a suit, confident, nice smile, with my stuff together? Could they be assuming I'm already taken?

Sometimes I go out and no one approaches me....(but a thug or a boy). It's been like that my whole life.

I am just over 30, attractive, exotic looking (many people think I am black and asian but I am 100% AA) well educated, home owner and I know how to let a man be the man. I am very nice and down to earth and when a brotha does approach me and he sees that I'm cool they always make it seem like I was going to be nasty. I am never disrespectful.

I am so close to moving to meet a quality partner. Brothas in South Florida ain't trying to holla and I can't get no play from the other races because the Latinas and Caribbean sistas got that on lock.

Someone help!!! Tell me where to go LOLOLOL

As a native Floridian who very recently relocated (oct this year), I think that what you are experiencing is very normal. You are correct, many of the non-black men in South FL like their black women dark. I was a stripper, and I made far more money once I moved into the mainstream (i.e. white) clubs. Black men may like them light, but the 'others' like their coffee black--very little cream if any.

But you are also in a region with a pitiful percentage of decent black men. And at 30, the pickings are extremely slim. Just a fact. I wish I had advice, but many of my friends in your age range are having the same issue.

 

[rozlips]

I was a stripper, and I made far more money once I moved into the mainstream (i.e. white) clubs. Black men may like them light, but the 'others' like their coffee black--very little cream if any.

I've wondered about this. In the book I'm writing my stripper is fair-complected, and I speculated about her prospects in a black vs. a white club. I've even thought about making her darker so that she'd stand out more in the white club, because I know darker women are more popular with whites. I figured lc black women would be more popular in black clubs and the exact opposite in white clubs. On some of the stripper boards the girls complain about not making as much as the white girls in clubs, but most of them aren't dark.

 

[Belle Du Jour]

I think preferences vary based on the individual but I remember reading somewhere that if whites had the whole light skin complex like black people do, they would just marry a white girl.

I'm too oblivious to notice when a guy likes me but when my friend and I go out to the "white" bars/clubs, we dance with white guys and usually no black guys.

 

[chocolatemom_of_3]

I've wondered about this. In the book I'm writing my stripper is fair-complected, and I speculated about her prospects in a black vs. a white club. I've even thought about making her darker so that she'd stand out more in the white club, because I know darker women are more popular with whites. I figured lc black women would be more popular in black clubs and the exact opposite in white clubs. On some of the stripper boards the girls complain about not making as much as the white girls in clubs, but most of them aren't dark.

Roz, you actually hit the nail on the head. Light-skinned girls don't really like white clubs, b/c they really don't stand out. In a black club I could make $300-400 on a day shift, at the white club $500-700 during the same exact hours.

 

[MuseofTroy]

Honestly I don't think whether someone is dark or light skin determines if mine outside of one's race makes a pass on them. I believe how physically attractive you are (intially) along with your personality determines how often an individual gets hit on.

 

[BackToMyRoots]

Girl, I find myself in akward convo with some old white men too!!

I think the funniest was when I was like 18-19 getting my car fixed. I dropped it off and was waiting for my bf to pick me up. This old white guy 45+ was giving me the "eye". I was like, ewww. He walks up to me and tells me I'm gorgeous and gives me his card. He was a lawyer. I was like "what for" he was like "just call me". I was like erplexed Then my boyfriend rolled up in his Pinto or whatever bootleg car he had and the guy just looks at me. Then was like "yeah, definatly give me a call" I felt so stuipd for some reason.

Anyway I went home and told my mom what happened. She said let me see his card, I better not know his ass (her profession she deals w/ a lot of lawyers). Sure enough, she knew him, and she was PISSED!!! She was going on and on "He's too damn old for you, why is he hitting on lil' girls, I think his ass is married, I oughta call him and cuss him out, blah, blah, blah".

I was like

Good for your mom . I always give those lecherous men the hairy eyeball...

 

[carpediem628]

Roz, you actually hit the nail on the head. Light-skinned girls don't really like white clubs, b/c they really don't stand out. In a black club I could make $300-400 on a day shift, at the white club $500-700 during the same exact hours.

Once upon a lifetime when I was very young (a long, long, long, long time ago...LOL), my cousin and I decided we would try out for a strip club (mostly white). Deep in my heart I knew I was a chicken, and sure enough, once we got there, I backed out.

But my cousin tried out. There was a beautiful light skinned girl there trying out as well and as soon as we saw her, we were like, oh well...forget about it cause she's going to win. This girl was absolutely beautiful.

Surprisingly, the men LOVED my cousin and it was like the girl didn't even exist. They like her enough, but they LOVED my cousin and this other brown skinned girl. We were shocked and I think the girl was too.

That was when I realized that there were other types of men out there who appreciated my skin color. Before that, I had not interacted with too many white guys and thought I would always be subjected to the "your pretty to be dark" comments from the brothas.

 

[chocolatemom_of_3]

Once upon a lifetime when I was very young (a long, long, long, long time ago...LOL), my cousin and I decided we would try out for a strip club (mostly white). Deep in my heart I knew I was a chicken, and sure enough, once we got there, I backed out.

But my cousin tried out. There was a beautiful light skinned girl there trying out as well and as soon as we saw her, we were like, oh well...forget about it cause she's going to win. This girl was absolutely beautiful.

Surprisingly, the men LOVED my cousin and it was like the girl didn't even exist. They like her enough, but they LOVED my cousin and this other brown skinned girl. We were shocked and I think the girl was too.

That was when I realized that there were other types of men out there who appreciated my skin color. Before that, I had not interacted with too many white guys and thought I would always be subjected to the "your pretty to be dark" comments from the brothas.

I'm going to be real, I had serious self-esteem issues for along time. After being a stripper in the mainstream clubs, I realized that men of sooo many different cultures appreciate my dark chocolate beauty, even though some of our own men don't.

 

[rozlips]

Dagnabit! I knew it! This girl is my inspiration.

She's unmistakably gorgeous, but I didn't think she was dark enough. I've gone back and forth on this for a while. Most of my readers are black women and I'm afraid they won't believe that she's so popular in a white club unless she's lc. But my own experience leads me to believe that she'd be more popular. Oh the agonies of being an author...

Roz, you actually hit the nail on the head. Light-skinned girls don't really like white clubs, b/c they really don't stand out. In a black club I could make $300-400 on a day shift, at the white club $500-700 during the same exact hours.

 

[Ms Red]

Relocate. (mostly kidding)

I don't want to hijack my own thread but I have to say it.

I rarely get approached by black men and I am a light complected sista.

Now, I can get a thug, gold teeth and all any day of the week. The thugs seem like the only brothas that don't discriminate. However, a black man with a college degree, won't look my way. I have been at the stop light on many occasions, with a black guy in the next lane and he intentionally won't look my way but when I am walking with a man of another race he's all in our faces knowing he wouldn't holla if I was alone.

Me and my friends call them the $30,000 n****'s, because we feel that once they make a little bit of money and get a decent vehicle they give us their a** to kiss and 9 times of out of 10 we are making more than them. I am not high maintenance on someone else's dime so they can't go there. Honestly, half the time I don't know what a brotha is looking for. They say they want an independent, beautiful, educated black woman but turn their heads on us. Many times I feel like they look down on me like I don't have s*** and I need them to give it to me.

Like another poster said, men holla when I look a hot mess. Why is that? Do I have to look damn near homeless for a man to feel like he saw a diamond in the rough and turned me into something great? Why can't I catch a man in a suit, confident, nice smile, with my stuff together? Could they be assuming I'm already taken?

Sometimes I go out and no one approaches me....(but a thug or a boy). It's been like that my whole life.

I am just over 30, attractive, exotic looking (many people think I am black and asian but I am 100% AA) well educated, home owner and I know how to let a man be the man. I am very nice and down to earth and when a brotha does approach me and he sees that I'm cool they always make it seem like I was going to be nasty. I am never disrespectful.

I am so close to moving to meet a quality partner. Brothas in South Florida ain't trying to holla and I can't get no play from the other races because the Latinas and Caribbean sistas got that on lock.

Someone help!!! Tell me where to go LOLOLOL