Why I Married a Black Woman

MrsJaiDiva

Embracing the Light
I had to have me a sister. She is who I am most comfortable with. She understands me. Our struggles are one in the same. We relate to each other on a different level. I need someone who understands that Thanksgiving means collard greens, cornbread, peach cobbler and honey ham. Christmas doesn't just mean Christmas caroling. It means Christmas classics by the Temptations and Boyz II Men. I had to marry a Black woman because I need someone who understands why my cousin stole money out of his mother’s purse. I need somebody to watch Love Jones with me. I need to be able to walk into my house and yell, “Nights like this, I wish that rain drops would faaaaaaallllll. Nights like this . . .” and have my woman interrupt me to finish the chorus herself. I need that swag. I need that sweet. I need the confidence. I need unique.

Crushed linen, a folding-chair, an ice chest and Frankie Beverly & Maze. I need that.

Us against him. Us against them. Us against the world. I need that.
There is nothing more humbling than when my wife prays over me. I need that.


As I watch my sister and my mother love, I know I need that kind of love. I can see them loving. It is tangible and alive. My sister is able to express love for another person’s children in the same fashion that she loves her own. My mother was able to love me when my father didn't. My mother is able to love the Black man again and again. I've told my mom to try dating outside of our race, and she has yet to do so. She will never give up on the Black man.

Black men, when you attack the Black woman, you attack yourself. When you look at her, you should see your mother, your sister, your aunt, your niece, your likeness. You should see our history in her eyes. If you don’t like who she has become then you don’t like where she has come from. Try loving her before leaving her and risking losing her forever.

I had to marry a Black woman because she is irreplaceable. I don’t believe love has a color so I’m not saying who you should or shouldn't love, but this Black man right here, I needed — had to have! — a Black woman.

Relationships expert Steven James Dixon is a proud father, an adoring husband and author of Men Don’t Heal, We Ho: A Book About the Emotional Instability of Men and Love Capacity.

http://www.essence.com/2012/11/29/why-i-married-black-woman
 
With the exception of understanding why his cousin stole money out his Mama's purse this was kinda sorta sexy...Not sure how much to expect from a person who wrote a book called "Men don't heal we HO"....
 
Interesting...good point about how black men should value black women like they do they're sisters or mother.
 
i understood every word he said. he wants someone he can relate too, without having to explain the small stuff, the simple things in life that exist in black culture. i know there are some women on this board that has never experienced what he was talking about, so i could see why some women on this board could be an anomaly.

oh and he was talking about AA culture.
 
It's gonna take a whole lot more than liking Frankie Beverly and maze together to convince these black me to like a black woman. :look:

Sent From My Pheauxne
 
i understood every word he said. he wants someone he can relate too, without having to explain the small stuff, the simple things in life that exist in black culture. i know there are some women on this board that has never experienced what he was talking about, so i could see why some women on this board could be an anomaly.

oh and he was talking about AA culture.

theft is AA culture?
 
Can he just express his love for black women? I for one am sick of the articles that bash black women. Anywho, I liked this part:

Black men, when you attack the Black woman, you attack yourself. When you look at her, you should see your mother, your sister, your aunt, your niece, your likeness. You should see our history in her eyes. If you don’t like who she has become then you don’t like where she has come from. Try loving her before leaving her and risking losing her forever.
 
theft is AA culture?

FelaShrine

yep, it sure is....

385621988.jpg
 
Smh.

I got what he was trying to say. I think the cousin thing was a metaphor for his wife not judging his whole family just because of one bad apple.

Sent from my DROID BIONIC using LHCF
 
Black women are not a homogeneous group of people.

Essence is an AA publication so...and I know there is diversity within AA culture, but I don't think he was trying to include everyone. If it applies, cool. If not, it wasn't meant for you (general).

Sent from my DROID BIONIC using LHCF
 
^^^I am neither AA nor with a black man, but I understand where he is coming from. He is also speaking about himself and, I assume, the black woman he married. I also think loving her is pretty much underlining all the reasons. We love the people we chose to love for different and specific reasons.
 
^^^I am neither AA nor with a black man, but I understand where he is coming from. He is also speaking about himself and, I assume, the black woman he married. I also think loving her is pretty much underlining all the reasons. We love the people we chose to love for different and specific reasons.

You had to ruin this thread with some sense. This had the potential to run into Sunday.
 
I can't relate to anything he's talking about but it's sorta sad he felt the need to write this up. I wonder what the circumstances are with his mother and why he's encouraging her to date out.
 
^^^I am neither AA nor with a black man, but I understand where he is coming from. He is also speaking about himself and, I assume, the black woman he married. I also think loving her is pretty much underlining all the reasons. We love the people we chose to love for different and specific reasons.

I feel the same way. I appreciate that my husband is Caribbean...it does make life easy in some ways. There are a lot of things that we share, vs things that we don't (different islands)...and we can give our boys that culture as well.
 
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