Why I Married a Black Woman

[MzRhonda]

Just a thought, but would that yt spouse be comfortable telling you about their relative that "may" call you or say the N word at family functions or will they just hope it does not happen.

This probably is OT but it was just a thought I had.

 

[Maa Maa omo mti]

@Maa Maa omo mti, but no one is saying it is a badge of blackhood, only that they can relate to the pookie/gator/bad lil thiefing cousin, etc scenario in some form or another...

yes but why can't it also be understood that some don't relate? what i saw/read is that posters where relating the cousin to being black. It's ok. not a big deal, and interesting at the same time.

 

[runwaydream]

after reading the OP i didn't think it was possible to see it as anything but a positive and uplifting article. but once again lhcf has proved me wrong. ya'll are on it...as usual.

 

[Ogoma]

Sigh

After reading this thread I saw a running theme. a couple of people voice their opinion about not liking the stealing cousin comment and most posters claimed it like it was a badge of black hood.

every community steals so it's not a big issue solely within our community, that we need to share a commonality over. So I guess I see dysfunction when I hear about an individual issue, and don't look at it as a community thing( silly me for actually thinking that's a good thing). As long as cousin ain't stealing from my bag I'm good. and shouldn't someone address that cousin is stealing, and get him/her some help?

I could careless don't really have an arm or leg in this. a lot of what he used are generalizing and not specific so therefore people will not identify with everything he said.

I FEEL like I have to say that The attempt in good, it's ok. What will impress me is why he loves his particular black woman. like someone said we come in varieties.

blah blah blah. don't mind me

But he is writing about the black woman he married. Look at the title. He didn't title 'why all black men should marry black women'. He wrote about HIMSELF and THE black womAn he married.

His wife understands why HIS cousin steals.

 

[MzLady78]

after reading the OP i didn't think it was possible to see it as anything but a positive and uplifting article. but once again lhcf has proved me wrong. ya'll are on it...as usual.

I guess I'll just wait for the next "Black women ain't ish" article to get posted and see how that goes.

 

[classoohfive]

why yall mad cause some didn't like the cousin reference? so what!!! i got that they agreed w/ everything he said except the cousin thing. like white people or others don't have relatives who steal:/ everybody got a cousin/aunt/uncle, father etc who steal lol

Exactly, but this forum likes to be dramatic and take extreme sides when it's not always necessary. You either can't take an article that's positive and love to hear negative things about black women or you have to 100% agree with an article because it's supposed to be positive. There's no in between. You can't appreciate someone being positive about black women and admitting you don't agree with every last word.

It wasn't even the people who side-eyed that cousin thing who made the post take a turn, it was the response to it (theft = AA culture). Complaining about black women being bashed while bashing black culture.


And while this post was about the black woman he married, as black women, we're going to try to talk about our experiences related to the OP. That happens with ANY post here so there shouldn't be an issue now.

 

[knt1229]

Wow, I didn't see the cousin stealing reference quite the same way as others. All I know is the older black women I know don't play when it comes to their purse. And you betta not go in your mother's purse unless she told you too. So, if somebody is stealing out of their mother's purse, then, that person is either crazy, on that stuff, or somebody held a gun to their heads and made them do it. Outside of any of those reasons there is no reason for you to be going in your mama, grandmama, or aunts purse. Pretty much no one should be going in a black woman's purse. Period.

So to me it was clear that he had to have been saying his cousin was on drugs or maybe crazy. But, something has to be wrong with dude to be stealing from his mama. I think that many in the AA community would understand that without a long drawn out explanation.

I didn't see his statement as trying to make stealing apart of the AA community. But, if you understand the basic rule of not going in your mama's purse without permission, then, I think you would have understood his comment.

 

[MrsJaiDiva]

I guess I'll just wait for the next "Black women ain't ish" article to get posted and see how that goes.

Word! I totally didn't think it was gonna end up here...

 

[Maa Maa omo mti]

But he is writing about the black woman he married. Look at the title. He didn't title 'why all black men should marry black women'. He wrote about HIMSELF and THE black womAn he married.

His wife understands why HIS cousin steals.

well going by the posts in this thread it wasn't taken that way either.

 

[Mortons]

Damn some folk find an issue with a-ny-thing. Dude was being real and not PC in his reflection. I like and respect it.

 

[Seeking8Rights]

I thought everyone had at least ONE thieving relative in their family? Daddy, cousin, sister, brother......

Hmph, maybe I am thinking about a different board.

 

[NOEChic]

I think I get where he's coming from. It sounds like he doesn't want to spend his whole life trying to teach his SO his culture.

Husband comes home from work singing: NIGHTS LIKE THIS I WISH...

White wife: *Side-eye* "Um OK Rahim. It's already raining outside. What are you talking about?"

Husband: -__________-. Listen Sarah, I'm singing a song from a classic black movie from the 80s based loosely on the Motown groups from back in the day.

White Wife: What is Motown?

Please don't take my black card, BUT, I don't know what movie or song this is

 

[somewhereinbtwn]

NOEChic It is from the Five Heartbeats. You can keep your black card THIS time. But perhaps a five day suspension is in order, I will have to discuss it with the council.

 

[NOEChic]

NOEChic It is from the Five Heartbeats. You can keep your black card THIS time. But perhaps a five day suspension is in order, I will have to discuss it with the council.

I never saw the whole movie lol

 

[haitianchick]

Not 'they can fix anything.' LOL.

My crackhead cousin Charles can fix anything. Cars, computers, plumbing, etc. and almost every crackhead I know can fix cars with just a butter knife and their hands, I swear. I got my radiator changed at 3am with 1 screwdriver for $20.

 

[Syrah]

I wonder if this is a Norm for many Black women? Being told that they are a Black mans exclusive, and prized choice....because I've yet to see more than 1 or 2 women say so.

Isn't that implied in being loved, cared for and supported by a black man? Doesn't being married to a black man imply that preference?

 

[Syrah]

Word! I totally didn't think it was gonna end up here...

End up where? The only back and forth was a brief "discussion" about the role that poverty plays in our community. Some of ya'll are responding like folks are angry or upset with the article....

 

[MrsJaiDiva]

Isn't that implied in being loved, cared for and supported by a black man? Doesn't being married to a black man imply that preference?

Not necessarily. If I had married an Italian guy, or an AA guy (last two Bf's), it would be for love...but my preference would be for a Caribbean man. I could write a letter to my Dh, like the one in the Op, because of our shared cultural heritage...but I don't think it would be the same had I married my last two Ex's.

We've had a ton of discussions about Black women not being #1, and here is a Black man saying that there were no other options for him BUT Black women...that he couldn't see himself with anyone else. I don't think we really stopped to appreciate that sentiment..to wonder how many other women have heard that from a Black man (I actually have). In between all of the rusty prose this guy was laying out...there was High Praise in this Love Letter. Very few women paused to bask in the glow of that praise.

 

[HoneyCurlz]

Not necessarily. If I had married an Italian guy, or an AA guy (last two Bf's), it would be for love...but my preference would be for a Caribbean man. I could write a letter to my Dh, like the one in the Op, because of our shared cultural heritage...but I don't think it would be the same had I married my last two Ex's.

We've had a ton of discussions about Black women not being #1, and here is a Black man saying that there were no other options for him BUT Black women...that he couldn't see himself with anyone else. I don't think we really stopped to appreciate that sentiment..to wonder how many other women have heard that from a Black man (I actually have). In between all of the rusty prose this guy was laying out...there was High Praise in this Love Letter. Very few women paused to bask in the glow of that praise.

Excellent post Mrsjaidiva!

 

[chocolat79]

Disclaimer: I'm going to go ahead and be ignorant and comment on something I didn't read and just base my comment on the title.

So, there's a justification for marrying Black women now? Oh ok...

If that's not what the article is talking about, I still don't like the title

 

[larry3344]

lol I hope I am not starting anything by bumping this thread but this was hilarious. Reading this in 2021 honestly this man reflections sounded contrived and badly worded.

Man it seems between 2009 to 2013 they were so many of these off the wall manifestos, people marry intraculturally every second. Was all of this really necessary?