Sense and Sensuality ("Loving" Spinny)

So just a mini mild vent. I was in Zumba class tonight (very exciting and sensual class with African, Caribbean and belly dancing inspired moves); as fun as it was, I couldn't help but notice that my being "sensual" was all in my head but didn't trickle down to my body. Like I wasn't letting myself free, as if I was holding back. I really want to work on that. I hate to use my singleness as an excuse but it feels like a "if you don't use it, you lose it" sort of feeling; for that moment I thought to myself "Am I losing it?" lol. I enjoy the class very much but Even the instructor said she could see it all over our faces, that we were holding back and weren't letting our bodies be free. Anyone else understand that feeling.
 
Smiley79 said:
So just a mini mild vent. I was in Zumba class tonight (very exciting and sensual class with African, Caribbean and belly dancing inspired moves); as fun as it was, I couldn't help but notice that my being "sensual" was all in my head but didn't trickle down to my body. Like I wasn't letting myself free, as if I was holding back. I really want to work on that. I hate to use my singleness as an excuse but it feels like a "if you don't use it, you lose it" sort of feeling; for that moment I thought to myself "Am I losing it?" lol. I enjoy the class very much but Even the instructor said she could see it all over our faces, that we were holding back and weren't letting our bodies be free. Anyone else understand that feeling.
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Smiley79, I can totally relate.

When you hold back it is because a million thoughts are in your mind. Whether it be you feeling insecure of your environment: Does my stomach look big? Do I look sexy? Or do I look clumsy? Crap, I am not getting this move down! I forgot to do the laundry. What time is it? Oh oh, I forgot to walk the dog!

Basically, letting go means your mind is clear. At least to me. I dance my best when I am really feeling good. And just letting the beat guide me. I am not a dance instructor but when I sub an aerobics class I can tell what is going on in their mind because of their eyes.

Do you do a warm up prior to the dancing? Are you stressed when you arrived? Good luck!
 
Yessss Lucie, you hit it on the nail. Im actually releaved when I get there and I feel really excited (kinda like a kid again, lol). However, I do notice that I tense up when it comes to the sensual moves (the instructor does a lot of Beyonce music and choreography to encourage us to work every muscle and just release. I really think that over time, I will get better at it, because now I am better than I was a few months ago when I first started.

It's embarassing for me to say this but on the subject of mental stress, I do sometimes have the tendency to think of myself as less than attractive or desirable simply because my dating life and/or meeting guys as just friends is seemingly non-existent and more challenging nowadays...so I do feel that it translates in my moves and dancing because deep down inside I have a few reservations within that question "am I not appealing" " not pretty" or whatever and trust me, I do know that that's the WRONG thing to think and that there's no truth or validation to it, but Im just being honest at this tendency that I have to fight sometimes. I really believe that any internal (mental or emotional) issues do make it a bit harder to exude that innocent sensuality and free-loving spirit that I love so much. More than a relationship, I want that for ME.
 
Lucie I forgot to add, I do notice that I have been getting there a minute or two late so I haven't had time to do any warm up on my own. I like that idea because I notice that I us to do better when I would do some stretching and light cardio warm up prior to the class. I never thought of that.
 
Smiley79 said:
Yessss @Lucie, you hit it on the nail. Im actually releaved when I get there and I feel really excited (kinda like a kid again, lol). However, I do notice that I tense up when it comes to the sensual moves (the instructor does a lot of Beyonce music and choreography to encourage us to work every muscle and just release. I really think that over time, I will get better at it, because now I am better than I was a few months ago when I first started.

It's embarassing for me to say this but on the subject of mental stress, I do sometimes have the tendency to think of myself as less than attractive or desirable simply because my dating life and/or meeting guys as just friends is seemingly non-existent and more challenging nowadays...so I do feel that it translates in my moves and dancing because deep down inside I have a few reservations within that question "am I not appealing" " not pretty" or whatever and trust me, I do know that that's the WRONG thing to think and that there's no truth or validation to it, but Im just being honest at this tendency that I have to fight sometimes. I really believe that any internal (mental or emotional) issues do make it a bit harder to exude that innocent sensuality and free-loving spirit that I love so much. More than a relationship, I want that for ME.
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Smiley79, maybe you can teach me some moves. :lol:

Don't be embarrassed. It is helping you to realize more things about yourself and mentally working on releasing any negative ideas you may have. As for men, they sense things. And sometimes it affects whether they approach you or not. Also, are you in environments to meet men? If you do not go out, you will not meet men. Going to your class is great! It will help your confidence.

What are your plans for the spring and summer? The more activities you find to do, the more your confidence levels will soar and you will be beating the men off with a stick. At the point, I will not be blamed. :look: :lachen:
 
Smiley79 said:
@Lucie I forgot to add, I do notice that I have been getting there a minute or two late so I haven't had time to do any warm up on my own. I like that idea because I notice that I us to do better when I would do some stretching and light cardio warm up prior to the class. I never thought of that.
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Smiley79, warming up is great for your muscles. And your mind. It allows you to release any tension and to fully immerse yourself with your surroundings. There are some times I have taken a class and was still sitting there until someone tapped me. I have a little exercise for you. Whatever you do, immerse yourself in it. When you wash your face, only think of washing your face. Notice your skin. The temperature of the water. How the suds feel on your face. How it feels when you stop. How it feels to dry.

When you drive, focus on the traffic. The people going to-and-fro. The brightness of the stop sign. :lol: How hard/soft you brake when you come to a stop. How loud/quiet your horn is.

I am serious! It sounds dumb but for the next 2 days throw yourself into whatever you do BUT only what you are doing at the moment. It could be laundry. Roller setting your hair. Talking to your child. Whatever. Our minds are always so busy. We are praised for multi-tasking but that leads to the inability to just being in the moment.

If you need to think about the future (your friend's upcoming birthday, what to make for dinner, et cetera) only think about the future goal/task. Good luck lovie!
 
Lollll you're so funny Lucie I hear you girlie. You make some great points. Im gonna keep working on that. :-) hugs to you l for the encouragement
 
I just spoke to a lovely lady at Agent Provocateur and she told me the next sale will be towards the end of June for those of you that would like to buy next time around. I can't wait! I love those little pink and black boxes. Sade' what size did you order? Chloe (the sales rep) told me for our Blaize we need to order 1 size up. I hope you ordered okay. Maybe I was lucky with the other sizes but she told me they generally run small. Maybe my prior purchases were a fluke. Let me know okay, lovie?
 
CurlyMoo

So sorry, I didn't get an alert when you mentioned me:blush:

I got it from Miss Selfridge UK and its 97% cotton. Yeah, my SO said I looked sophisticated when I bought it:lol:. I'm top heavy and find I look pretty balanced in it. Although my weight is low at the moment, so I'm only 32DD. If you're very big busted I'd go with the second one as it doesn't draw attention to that area as much. Its probably possible to get a new one on ebay.

The back :

23_M01_LNVY_2_large.jpg


I'm a bit hungover at the moment but I may rustle up a picture later:look:
 
Lucie said:
Smiley79, warming up is great for your muscles. And your mind. It allows you to release any tension and to fully immerse yourself with your surroundings. There are some times I have taken a class and was still sitting there until someone tapped me. I have a little exercise for you. Whatever you do, immerse yourself in it. When you wash your face, only think of washing your face. Notice your skin. The temperature of the water. How the suds feel on your face. How it feels when you stop. How it feels to dry.

When you drive, focus on the traffic. The people going to-and-fro. The brightness of the stop sign. :lol: How hard/soft you brake when you come to a stop. How loud/quiet your horn is.

I am serious! It sounds dumb but for the next 2 days throw yourself into whatever you do BUT only what you are doing at the moment. It could be laundry. Roller setting your hair. Talking to your child. Whatever. Our minds are always so busy. We are praised for multi-tasking but that leads to the inability to just being in the moment.

If you need to think about the future (your friend's upcoming birthday, what to make for dinner, et cetera) only think about the future goal/task. Good luck lovie!
Click to expand...

Lucie

This changed my life. I took a mindfulness course and I didnt know how busy my mind was and how powerful being in the moment is. I feel like I have missed out on powerful moments in life by not being present. Meditation has helped a lot.
 
TracyNicole said:
I just came across the reminder for this year's bellydancers of color convention in DC. Since it was last minute we really couldn't plan last year but this year I'm giving plenty of notice and I'm not pregnant now so I plan to go. Yay! Anyone want to come along?
http://www.bellydancersofcolor.net/
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I saw this yesterday, I was beginning to think it wasn't happening. I went last year and liked it. I'm considering going again this year. Would you stay in the hotel or are you local?
 
Avyn said:
Lucie

This changed my life. I took a mindfulness course and I didnt know how busy my mind was and how powerful being in the moment is. I feel like I have missed out on powerful moments in life by not being present. Meditation has helped a lot.
Click to expand...

Avyn, that is just great! Being mindful is something I have really worked on. It is not easy but really life-changing when you master it! XO
 
ladysaraii said:
I saw this yesterday, I was beginning to think it wasn't happening. I went last year and liked it. I'm considering going again this year. Would you stay in the hotel or are you local?
Click to expand...

I'm local so most likely I will not get lodging. I'm glad to hear it was good last year. Is it worth going for a day or getting the multi day ticket ?
 
TracyNicole said:
I'm local so most likely I will not get lodging. I'm glad to hear it was good last year. Is it worth going for a day or getting the multi day ticket ?
Click to expand...

I was there the whole weekend and think it was good. I would wait until they post the schedule so you can see what classes you want to take. I was a little sick last year, so hopefully this year I'll get it together if I go.
 
CurlyMoo said:
8487464_fpx.tif
Both are very feminine and stylish but the one you posted has a bit more sophistication which is what I am looking for. I'm really digging the buckle on the lower sleeve on the 2nd one. Also trying to figure out which one is best for big boobs.
Click to expand...
I love the coat! I'm looking for one in purple. Also, ladies, why did I just find out one of my island friends has ever had an orgasm with a man. :nono: She's 26! I'm playing the role of sex therapist now. It makes me sad that she's too shy and insecure when it comes to sex. I guess I have to turn my male mind on, because she came across to me as someone who should attract men who would pamper her both in and out of the bedroom. I forgot women who are sensitive and generous often attract people who do not appreciate them. It's painful to watch because she she's so generous and intelligent. Can I just emphasize that we are all worth the highest of care and appreciation? If you don't feel this way, please let us know ASAP, because it's not acceptable.
 
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Enyo said:
I love the coat! I'm looking for one in purple.

Also, ladies, why did I just find out one of my island friends has ever had an orgasm with a man. :nono: She's 26! I'm playing the role of sex therapist now. It makes me sad that she's too shy and insecure when it comes to sex. I guess I have to turn my male mind on, because she came across to me as someone who should attract men who would pamper her both in and out of the bedroom. I forgot women who are sensitive and generous often attract appreciate her. It's painful to watch because she she's so generous and intelligent.

Can I just emphasize that we are all worth the highest of care and appreciation? If you don't feel this way, please let us know ASAP, because it's not acceptable.
Click to expand...

Yo Enyo

Here is the back view:
8487465_fpx.tif


Let me know what colors you find, although I love navy blue I would like a bright color as well. I wonder if this is a spring coat. Because I would like to wear it but not look and feel over dressed.
 
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Sumra said:
@CurlyMoo

So sorry, I didn't get an alert when you mentioned me:blush:

I got it from Miss Selfridge UK and its 97% cotton. Yeah, my SO said I looked sophisticated when I bought it:lol:. I'm top heavy and find I look pretty balanced in it. Although my weight is low at the moment, so I'm only 32DD. If you're very big busted I'd go with the second one as it doesn't draw attention to that area as much. Its probably possible to get a new one on ebay.

The back :

23_M01_LNVY_2_large.jpg


I'm a bit hungover at the moment but I may rustle up a picture later:look:
Click to expand...

Thank you Sumra

This is so feminine. I'm a 40 DD cup, what do you think?
How is it with rain? Does it absorb rain or repel it?

Although this is what I am looking for, it's sold out and I can't find it anywhere. It's not on eBay nor Amazon. I will go and try on the other coat.
 
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I wanted to share this with you ladies. I hope it makes sense. It is 2am afterall.:lol:

So, after reading the Lisa Bonet/Jason Momoa thread, I started thinking about her and Edith Piaf, Erykah Badu, Angelina Jolie, Josephine Baker and other women, including some of my friends, who have/had men beating down their doors (please, no judgment about character or the quality of the relationships; that's a different conversation). I tried to put my finger on what it is about them that just draws you in. They're not all conventionally beautiful or sexy but they've got “It” and I was thinking about what “It” is.

One thing they have in common is that they're all uniquely themselves and they embrace who they are instead of trying to fit in. A lot of us spend so much time criticizing ourselves and downplaying what makes us special instead of celebrating it. It's like we collectively decide what's “sexy” and wear that uniform (according to IG, the current uniform is long wavy hair, short/tight dresses, 5” platforms) even if it doesn't fit who we really are. Not criticizing the uniform, it's just that we shouldn't feel limited to one look. Many women don't know how to tap into their sensuality because they were never taught how; that's why I love that this thread even exists. Wish I had something like it when I was a teenager.

The French have a term, “jolie laide” - (literal translation is “pretty-ugly”) - that I understand means having a “flaw” that makes the person unconventionally beautiful. I have a gap in my front teeth which drove me crazy for years. I had braces when I was a teen, but I lost my retainer and the gap opened again. I love my gap now. Seriously. I get TONS of compliments on my smile, but judging by media standards, I need to get Invisalign, stat :lol:. I'm sure there are people who think that if I closed it, my smile would improve, but they don't concern me because they don't know my gap's history. I inherited it from my dad and whenever I notice it, it reminds me that I'm the daughter of a man who thinks I'm the best thing since the sun and that makes me really happy.

Anyway, we've been sold a lie that tells us we have to look a certain way to be beautiful and sensuality is the domain of conventionally beautiful people. We have to reject that line of thinking. Media creates, feeds, and profits from our insecurities. It makes me sad that so many of us walk around ashamed of how we look and that our “flaws” make us feel undeserving of living a full, rich, sensual, juicy life.

You're perfect right now. Yes, you. Right now.

There's nothing wrong with doing things that make you feel more sensual. I, for one, have no intention of giving up my heels, perfumes, potions, dusting powders and elixirs. But know that those things can only enhance what you already are. Being in the moment – thanks @Lucie – and knowing what makes you feel sensual (and doing it regularly) is important. For me, daily exercise and a fairly clean diet are a must for me to feel my best so I make them a priority.

Beauty and sensuality are not mutually exclusive, but I know that it's hard to feel sensual when you're focused on all the things the media and other people say you need to fix before you can be acceptable. Don't listen to them; they have their own agenda. Revel in the miracle that you are.

Sophia Loren said “Sex appeal is fifty percent what you've got and fifty percent what people think you've got.” The women I mentioned have the world convinced that they've got something special. You do too. So embrace who you are (yes even the stretchmarks, cellulite, and whatever's making you feel unpretty) and, to paraphrase Kafka, the world will roll in ecstasy at your feet.
 
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BK Bombshell

So on time. So needed...Love your post. Thank you. Especially after my recent struggle with to get or not to get waist lipo. I had a similar conversation (less eloquent and put together with my best friend last night). We women really have it hard sometimes. We let society tell us our worth. Girl Im so tired. I just want to be me...happily and sensually ME! ME! ME! at MY very best or not so best. But I love the struggle when Im driving the bus and no one else.
 
Just got my goodies from AP and my boss is here. There is no way I can walk past him with a bikini in my hand to try on. I hope it fits nice. It looks small. Go away man! LOL!
 
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