FemmeFatale
Well-Known Member
They're cut slightly wider at the bust area so it works nicely.
Sense and Sensuality ("Loving" Spinny)
- Thread starter Enyo
- Start date
They're cut slightly wider at the bust area so it works nicely.
FemmeFatale
Well-Known Member
I don't know, but maybe she isn't the type to need alot to be happy. I don't know the ins and outs of others' relationships. I only go by what I see and intuitively feel. But she deserves alot. A very supportive woman. She had great advice for me too. She is very wise. But to me the missing component was to value herself as the prize
Oh no, it def sounds like there's an imbalance there
I feel like it's important for our men to know that we require work. And while I understand that we should make our men feel like kings, I don't think we should lose ourselves in the process.
Layluh
Well-Known Member
I have a confession.
All of this researching into the feminine has got me researching witches. It seems like witches are the ultimate feminine. So I'm wondering: is this why there have been so many witch hunts through out history? I read a book about witches and honestly? They really don't seem so bad (the good ones anyway). They seem to be one with nature, worship the masculine and feminine and use the environment and consciousness to heal themselves and others.
Also, makes me think there's something more to the word "b-tch."
All of this researching into the feminine has got me researching witches. It seems like witches are the ultimate feminine. So I'm wondering: is this why there have been so many witch hunts through out history? I read a book about witches and honestly? They really don't seem so bad (the good ones anyway). They seem to be one with nature, worship the masculine and feminine and use the environment and consciousness to heal themselves and others.
Also, makes me think there's something more to the word "b-tch."
Layluh
Well-Known Member
So I'm back home with DH *sigh*
We're talking about starting a family and he wants to make raising kids into a competition. If we're always in competition with each other then we'll always be working towards becoming better parents. This is such a masculine principle. I just told him that he's gonna have to find a better way to become a better person because I'm not competitive and that I'd rather work with him. Then he started going into "well, I bet you I'll teach the child more things than you."
He got frustrated and said "nevermind we're not on the same wave length." To which, I replied, "You're right. We're not."
I just feel like competing with your husband in the child rearing department would be a disaster, but I wasn't able to articulate why. Does anyone have any thoughts on this?
We're talking about starting a family and he wants to make raising kids into a competition. If we're always in competition with each other then we'll always be working towards becoming better parents. This is such a masculine principle. I just told him that he's gonna have to find a better way to become a better person because I'm not competitive and that I'd rather work with him. Then he started going into "well, I bet you I'll teach the child more things than you."
He got frustrated and said "nevermind we're not on the same wave length." To which, I replied, "You're right. We're not."
I just feel like competing with your husband in the child rearing department would be a disaster, but I wasn't able to articulate why. Does anyone have any thoughts on this?
ArrrBeee
Well-Known Member
Me too...........
Enyo
Well-Known Member
Justing chiming in on the AoS: The type of seductions the author is speaks of is not targeted towards people who are seeking healthy and balanced relationships. It's strictly for people who are manipulating someone for amusement or some sort of gain (personal, career, financial, political). We also must realize that it works on people of the same gender. There are some elements that you have to tweak, but I've seduced other women in a non-sexual way because they had something I needed or wanted - not because I wanted a real relationship with them.
Fascinating Womanhood is on my list, but I've not gotten to it yet, so I can't speak on it.
Because powerful women scare men.
Layluh
Well-Known Member
Well the book does have a chapter on us addressing our needs and being a bit selfish. Which is supposed to make him want to do things for us. But as far as them wanting to be our fantasy? I think that's something we have to bring out in them because men tend to me more science oriented (well my DH is anyway).
I've always been the type to feel guilty when I think about myself and never liked being selfish. But this selfishness thing seems to be working. I went shopping on Friday and today DH comes up to me like "I need to go shopping this weekend, do you need any shoes." I told him flatly no, I just bought some shoes so Im not pressed. Then 5 minutes later, I remembered all the books I read, then I came back and was like, "you know what? I do need some shoes." LOL, so now he's buying me some shoes this week.
He also got us some tickets to see dave chapelle in concert in august and is taking us canooing on Thursday.
Yup. Everytime I've brought up the art of femininity he started rolling his eyes and seeming uninterested. I also brought up witches as well and he seemed to get defensive and asked "what is so SPECIAL about witches?" I was like "nothing as far as I know. You may want to consult with people throughout history who've gone on witch hunts."
Most of the time when you see witches in movies they are powerful and evil. But when we see wizards (the male counterpart to a witch) they are powerful, but not really evil. I just thought it was interesting.
SelahOco
Well-Known Member
It probably bothers you because he's your partner and you complement each others strengths and weaknesses. In competition, you use your "opponent's" weaknesses to your advantage.
You want to lovingly raise your children together. Not in an environment full of tit for tat or "who's the better parent." Which could turn into "who do you love more," "who's more fun?" etc.
Does he want to compete about who can keep the house cleaner? Who is the better cook? Who folds the towels the fastest.
If so, that's great....and let him win 
I'm sure he thinks this concept sounds fun, but having babies is NOOOOOOOO joke. You're not gonna want to compete. You're going to want your partner to help you in every way.
And yall need to be on the same team, so the kids don't get the best of you.
Don't have kids until you are ready. It changes your relationship immediately. Be sure you both are committed to raising children together 50/50.
It is a total shift to your life. I love my kids and because of that my life and career and relationship with DH has required extreme adjustment. You need a partnership mentality.
P.S. I wonder if he means it differently than it comes across. Does he compete in general with you/others?
Miss617
Always left of center
True, I wasn't even thinking about that aspect of AoS. I just saw a similarity between some of the characters or archetypes and the qualities that are mentioned in Fascinating Womanhood. And the description for the first seductive character, "The Siren," is very similar to what George writes in that passage I shared from Memoirs of Cleopatra. There is a commonality that I never would have noticed were I not consciously trying to develop my femininity.
I've never thought about using it on another woman, but I haven't had occasion to. I would always be afraid that they're learning the same tricks I'm trying to use on them
Miss617
Always left of center
I agree with you. You don't want to turn child rearing into "who's the better parent." That isn't really fair or beneficial to anyone, especially the children. Like everything else in a marriage, it should be a partnership. Save the competition for Scrabble or bowling.
ladysaraii
Well-Known Member
That sounds very juvenile on his part. Trust, the children will do enough to try to pit you two against each other. I firmly believe parents need to be a united front, especially in front of the kids.
Just the example 'I bet I can teach the child more things than you.' It shouldn't be about that. You all both have strengths and interests to share and those things should be celebrated. Kids want to be loved and cared for, at the end of the day, Jr isn't going to say 'well dad taught me 75 things, but mom taught me 76 so I love her more'
I just think that competition will breed nothing but resentment and ill will. And trust the kids will pick up on it.
I agree with you about the witches. Can you share any books or links that you've been reading?
Also, per the bolded. You might want to read Getting to I Do. It's mostly for singles, but married women would benefit as well. There was a thread on it in the relationship forum recently that summarizes some of these very points, esp concerning women and self-centeredness.
ETA: Here is the thread HTH!
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ladysaraii
Well-Known Member
YES!
I have mentioned it before on this thread but she is the one whose husband has told her that what she won't do another one will. I know we all know that is true in every relationship, but to hold that over someone's head all the time can feel like a burden I would suppose
Anyway, I constantly tell her , "there is no one like her" and how much of a great wife she is, because I know we women need to support each other. I am sure he appreciates her, but couldn't a man convince me he was the prize, I don't care how well he has it,lol.
ETA: There are women who love to please their men and really feel happy giving them their all and holding them up as the prize. If so, more power to them.
to the boldedAlthough this does remind me about Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands. And Dr. Laura said that she wasn't goign to write PR&F of Wives b/c most men (decent men) really want to see their women happy and will go out of their way to make sure she's taken care of and happy. In her experience, it's the women who will be critical and nagging and withholding when they feel things aren't going their way. I'm sure there can be somedebate on that.
So when it comes to FW and other books, I tend to look at it more as one piece of the equation, learning how to best relate to your partner so you can get what you need.
Very interesting thought!!!
ETA: The bolded seems to be what women use to do before the bulldozing of some religions and spirtuality practices. I am studying some traditional spiritualities including some from Ancient Egypt and the bolded sums the women up.
Of course, that ancient knowledge was seen as demonic or secular and we no longer took part in it.We no longer engage in healing and other powers because only one power is said to exist and that is with God(if you are Christian).
All this talk just reminds me how much women are oppressed. I am not speaking from a femininst point of view, but it really reminds me that we have alot of power and don't use it to our fullest potential.
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Lucie
Dancin' on sunshine!
I went to an all girl HS and had classes with a Wiccan. And your description fits her to a tee!
I feel bad because when she would try to tell me about her beliefs I shut her down. Shame on me.
I realized she was a great person because despite my ignorance and judgmentalness she was always nice to me.
Lucie
Dancin' on sunshine!
I don't like to stereotype but a lot of men would not stop to ask for directions circa GPS. They ALREADY KNOW how to win over women!
Ever look at a man's magazine? They want to know how to make more money, get a better body in a jiffy, how to style their hair and the second to last page will be about 2 ways to make your wife/girlfriend fall in love with you. A MEASLY 2 WAYS!
I haven't seen any books. But that could because that isn't my interest,lol. But I have seen articles from the web. Like when I am reading web articles on body language, there would be a section for men on how to be more masculine or confident to attract a woman. I am sure they are out there, but NO WHERE near the books written for women.
robot.
New Member
Yall! I woke up feeling so yummy this morning, despite the rain.
Got some new hair products, a facial, new shave gel. I like to marinate in bed for a bit when I wake up and I had this silly grin on my face I was lying there like "damn, I know I look good, I can just feel it." Hair was twisted up, legs freshly shaved, body butter had me smelling 
I really love being me, it just feels good
Very interesting weekend too.
Got some new hair products, a facial, new shave gel. I like to marinate in bed for a bit when I wake up and I had this silly grin on my face
I was lying there like "damn, I know I look good, I can just feel it." Hair was twisted up, legs freshly shaved, body butter had me smelling I really love being me, it just feels goodVery interesting weekend too.
nlamr2013
Well-Known Member
you look very lovely Robot!
I have a dress similar to this except with rainbow polkadots. This is a-line I believe right? Actually most of my dresses have this cut now that I think about it. The shape if flattering on my body I believe since I am a inverted triangle/H shape the cinched in waist and flair really help me out.
I have a dress similar to this except with rainbow polkadots. This is a-line I believe right? Actually most of my dresses have this cut now that I think about it. The shape if flattering on my body I believe since I am a inverted triangle/H shape the cinched in waist and flair really help me out.
FemmeFatale
Well-Known Member
Layluh
Well-Known Member
He's pretty driven but can be competitive too. He's more driven than anything so I was kind of shocked when he said that.
http://www.amazon.com/Return-Femini...tmm_kin_title_0?ie=UTF8&qid=1372715762&sr=8-1
"The return of the feminine and the world soul." The guy who made this book has a publishing company called Llewelyn that primarily publishes books on witches. He doesn't mention a thing about witches though (not that I can recall anyway) in this book. I would say this is in my top 3 books that I've read on the subject of femininity so far. It made me really proud to be a feminine woman and realize that the world NEEDS us right now.
http://www.amazon.com/The-Goddess-I...715932&sr=1-8&keywords=for+the+everyday+witch
"The Goddess is in the Details: Wisdom for the Everyday Witch." This book mentions prayer a lot and gives different prayer recitations. It talks about healing yourself with herbs and essential oils, staying fit and keeping a positive attitude. This book is just OK though.
I'm sure there's a better book about positive witch craft, but I'm reading a couple of other books right now so when I find one, I'll let you know. I forgot to put getting to I do on my wish list, thanks for reminding me.
Very interesting thought!!!
ETA: The bolded seems to be what women use to do before the bulldozing of some religions and spirtuality practices. I am studying some traditional spiritualities including some from Ancient Egypt and the bolded sums the women up.
We no longer engage in healing and other powers because only one power is said to exist and that is with God(if you are Christian).
All this talk just reminds me how much women are oppressed. I am not speaking from a femininst point of view, but it really reminds me that we have alot of power and don't use it to our fullest potential.
The first book I mentioned above by Llewelyn goes hard on this topic. I think we women have it all wrong these days and thats why we're so confused and men are always like "WTF DO WOMEN WANT?" Because we're on a path designed by men and for men.
And now the US is becoming so greedy and us women are complicit in this because we want to be more like them. There's nothing to balance out all of this greed, control and power. I'm no longer a feminist, but rather a femininist lol.
Having a male god for a woman is akin to having white Jesus for a black person (IMO).
I went to an all girl HS and had classes with a Wiccan. And your description fits her to a tee!
I feel bad because when she would try to tell me about her beliefs I shut her down. Shame on me.
I went to HS with a wiccan too. She was verrry nice and feminine. I remember looking at her like: YOU'RE A WITCH?!
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Rocky91
NYE side boob.
I agree robot you look gorgeous!!!
I think all women are a tad bisexual lol but seriously. I think we appreciate beauty in all forms and we can't ignore the beauty/booty of another feminine creature.
Miss617
Always left of center
I totally agree
FH teases me about being a closet lesbian if I get really excited about how beautiful another woman is. And I'll usually notice a big booty before he does
But there is something mesmerizing about certain women, the ones that just seem so comfortable with themselves and their femininity. It's inspiring.
Miss617
Always left of center
Yall! I woke up feeling so yummy this morning, despite the rain.
Got some new hair products, a facial, new shave gel. I like to marinate in bed for a bit when I wake up and I had this silly grin on my face
Very interesting weekend too.
I am
over here at this post. I have those days too sometimes, and can't nobody tell me nothin!FemmeFatale
Well-Known Member
Oh I meant how Erykah seems to hypnotize many men and not just with her booty, lol. I know a lot of men that say they'd avoid her just cause she's so mesmerizing, lol. It's like she has the power to bring men to their knees effortlessly.
She's the definition of stop trying and just be.
She's the definition of stop trying and just be.
Yeah I wonder why/how? lol
I didn't see her BET performance so I just YT'd it and I saw all her feminine in her hips and lower half. Like she moved as a woman would. While she was singing, she swayed and just moved utilizing all things below,lol. Her eyes seem to be very pretty as it is as they are big and light colored, and bedroomy so I am sure that can draw a man in.
She isn't traditionally attractive which is proof that all you need is confidence, sexy appeal and knowing how to use what you've got.
intergalacticartist
New Member
Enyo
That's the exact problem I have with that book. It does seem like it would start an unhealthy relationship
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