Sense and Sensuality ("Loving" Spinny)

[ladysaraii]

@RegaLady Here is a short list

-I usually call a lot and first
- I tend to lead the relationship instead of letting the guy lead (I'm kind of bossy in general anyway and I am the oldest child so I guess I really need to watch that)
- I nag a lot
- I let him know a lot about my past ( nothing bad but too much info) too fast as if I am an open book
- I always want to take up a lot of their time instead of the 1-3 times a week visit

You sound like me. When I read The Rules and WMLB, I was banging myself over the head. Hopefully when I start dating again, I'll be better off. I'm making time to peruse these books on a regular basis so it will start to become ingrained.

 

[Miss617]

@Miss617

Not at all. We have been married for 9 years.

That's great. I've been seeing too many marriages failing before they even get to the "7 year itch," and I'm curious about what happens at 7 years that causes things to go wrong. Is it complacency? (Not asking about you personally, just in general.)

By the time FH and I have been married for 9 years, we'll have been together for 16. Oy vey. I wonder if I'll be needing to read these books again at that point lol.

 

[RegaLady]

That's great. I've been seeing too many marriages failing before they even get to the "7 year itch," and I'm curious about what happens at 7 years that causes things to go wrong. Is it complacency? (Not asking about you personally, just in general.)

By the time FH and I have been married for 9 years, we'll have been together for 16. Oy vey. I wonder if I'll be needing to read these books again at that point lol.

Trust me, and being honest, many want to throw in the towel by year 7 . I never thought it was possible but it is. Then you have to readjust and keep it spicy all over again. It is very possible Anyone who says it is a walk in the cake park every day and every year is a lie

 

[Saga]

I finished reading the rules yesterday and wow...I took so much from that book! I've been trying to be more demure and soft. I always told my mom that I felt like a tomboy, and her reply was always "But you wear girly clothes and do your nails and makeup" as true as that may be, I feel that growing up with a less than feminine mother and two older brothers turned me into a very abrasive person. I never would feel lady like, I looked the part but it doesn't come natural to me. I am quick to snap at people when they make me upset. My language has always been guyish, there was nothing dainty or feminine about it. I had a deep alto voice and it tends to be loud especially when I laugh so I've been softening it up every day. I'm getting a much nicer response from my coworkers and also to gentlemen and clientele in my office. Before when I would smile at people while I spoke I felt so fake, now I feel genuinely happy to be around them! I want to make their day better so being polite is much easier.

I purchased a lot of heels, wedges, dresses, and blouses to femme up my wardrobe. It just added more to the womanly effect. I've been trying to do Rule #1 every minute of the day, from the time I spend at home to commuting to work on the train. Rule #1 is to be a creature unlike any other, and I want that Sexy aloofness that seems to come natural to some women. I know very little about sensuality but this thread is teaching me so much!

I'm thankful that God led me to all these beautiful threads you ladies made. I usually stay in the hair and health sections of the forum but since transitioning to the OT I've gained a wealth of knowledge. I want to become the woman God has destined me to be, and the more I read the more I felt Him nudging me in the direction of being lady like and graceful and soft. I've been praying for Him to help me deal with my short temper when it comes to things and how quick I am to snatch people up. But I want to eventually be married and that is not the type of woman is want my future husband to be with and also being kind makes me feel good. Once again, thank you!

 

[FemmeFatale]

OMG DanceOnTheSkylines!! I had the exact same thoughts this morning regarding this thread and how I do feel like we are so blessed to have each other to lean on for guidance on these things that are truly hidden gems. I do feel like God is preparing me to the woman, wife and mother that I want to be.

I'm so glad that you found this info beneficial to you as it is to all of us.

 

[RegaLady]

DanceOnTheSkylines

I am so glad this thread has been informative for you. It has been the same to me as well.


Today was a cloudy day and I was going up to my children's school for a competition. I wanted to wear black but I reviewed the dressing of the blogger in that "other" thread and decided to wear my brightest pink cardigan sweater and lightweight wide leg high waisted jeans. I remind myself, "Think feminine clothing and ladylike" Boy did I stand out, but I liked it

 

[Lucie]

RegaLady, way to go! Ya sexy thangggg you!!!!

 

[stephluv]

So I've made a "goddess wishlist", lol. I need a few things.

Chanel Mademoiselle perfume (my new summer scent)
Empress Jade egg set
Silk nightwear for the summer

@FemmeFatale - think i'm going to have to make my own wishlist...I love that scent but never brought it for myself lol

I guess it's partially because I get off on manipulating a man. For me, making him bend to my will is more arousing than actual physical contact. That's why I'm a professional tease. In a way, teasing is my sex.

@Enyo - this is me too...i have been told i'm a flirt/tease and its just naturally how I am...i get more turned on knowing you want me lol

I finished reading the rules yesterday and wow...I took so much from that book! Rule #1 is to be a creature unlike any other, and I want that Sexy aloofness that seems to come natural to some women. I know very little about sensuality but this thread is teaching me so much!
What book is this...I think I missed something while lurking....i have more time now so i plan on reading and adding my input more

I'm thankful that God led me to all these beautiful threads you ladies made. I usually stay in the hair and health sections of the forum but since transitioning to the OT I've gained a wealth of knowledge. I want to become the woman God has destined me to be, and the more I read the more I felt Him nudging me in the direction of being lady like and graceful and soft. I've been praying for Him to help me deal with my short temper when it comes to things and how quick I am to snatch people up. But I want to eventually be married and that is not the type of woman is want my future husband to be with and also being kind makes me feel good. Once again, thank you!

@DanceOnTheSkylines Thanks wasnt enough but your last paragraph is how I feel too

 

[Miss617]

Trust me, and being honest, many want to throw in the towel by year 7 . I never thought it was possible but it is. Then you have to readjust and keep it spicy all over again. It is very possible Anyone who says it is a walk in the cake park every day and every year is a lie

Oh, trust me, I've peeked into the Married Ladies random thoughts thread enough times to know it's not always rainbows and butterflies (it's compromise that moves us along, yeah!) I always wonder if men feel the same... Like they have to switch it up too, or if the responsibility to "keep it spicy" tends to fall on the women. I can't say I've seen very much information for men who want to be better lovers or partners. Why is that?

 

[Enyo]

Oh, trust me, I've peeked into the Married Ladies random thoughts thread enough times to know it's not always rainbows and butterflies (it's compromise that moves us along, yeah!) I always wonder if men feel the same... Like they have to switch it up too, or if the responsibility to "keep it spicy" tends to fall on the women. I can't say I've seen very much information for men who want to be better lovers or partners. Why is that?

So many things when it comes to long-term relationships and parenting seems to fall on women which is why neither interest me. When it comes to sex, I think it comes down to the fact that assumption it's our job to entertain the men sexually. I think this is done in our social subconscious. If you ask people, most won't say it's the woman's responsibility, but there is an underlying assumption that it is. Magazines are a great example of that. There are loads of "tips" for sexual activity in women's magazines while the men tend to focus more on snagging the hottest chick they can.

 

[Lucie]

I was crossing the street. I was on a lunch break and was going to write in my diary and a construction worker asked if he could escort me over the dirt. He did not want me to mess up my pretty toes. I giggled and let him escort me. He also came back to tell me the bulldozer was about to move some dirt around and that I should find a less dusty spot to write. That made me smile. I know he wishes he knew what I was writing about. LOL!

 

[Miss617]

So many things when it comes to long-term relationships and parenting seems to fall on women which is why neither interest me. When it comes to sex, I think it comes down to the fact that assumption it's our job to entertain the men sexually. I think this is done in our social subconscious. If you ask people, most won't say it's the woman's responsibility, but there is an underlying assumption that it is. Magazines are a great example of that. There are loads of "tips" for sexual activity in women's magazines while the men tend to focus more on snagging the hottest chick they can.

You are so right, and this really bothers me. Why is no one telling men how to please their women? Or deflecting blame for sexual inadequacy to the woman? (I'm looking at you Tyrese...) I think the focus in these magazines and elsewhere should be shifted to knowing/"loving" yourself first. How can you expect someone else to know what you like if you don't?

I also think that women are scared to take control because we don't want to be labeled as sluts or whores. When we're vocal about what we want, we feel ashamed or dirty. But no one bats an eye when a man does. It's an unfair double standard.

 

[RegaLady]

So I've made a "goddess wishlist", lol. I need a few things.

Chanel Mademoiselle perfume (my new summer scent)
Empress Jade egg set
Silk nightwear for the summer

I need to do this too!!

@the bolded-I have that one and it is a lovely scent. Miss Dior Cherie is like its sister but richer, IMO. Some say a little childlike, but MD is really pretty and feminine.
I just got the Chanel No 5(Marilyn Monroe's famous scent) and I also think its a classic every woman should own.
But as always it depends on what brings out your best skin.

 

[ladysaraii]

I think too that there really isn't any balance shown. Like women are either prudes or whores, no in between. Part of the reason I'm getting so sick of this stripper culture and obsession. We don't see many examples of good women with a healthy sexuality, at least that doesn't cater to men. I think Erykah Badu said something about people not being able to handle sexuality that isn't geared towards men.

 

[Lucie]

You are so right, and this really bothers me. Why is no one telling men how to please their women? Or deflecting blame for sexual inadequacy to the woman? (I'm looking at you Tyrese...) I think the focus in these magazines and elsewhere should be shifted to knowing/"loving" yourself first. How can you expect someone else to know what you like if you don't?

I also think that women are scared to take control because we don't want to be labeled as sluts or whores. When we're vocal about what we want, we feel ashamed or dirty. But no one bats an eye when a man does. It's an unfair double standard.

It definitely is. I have been on a narcissist kick lately. I was involved with one. And 75% of men are narcissist! Not to say that women are not, but the MAJORITY of men are and that tells me something. Many men are not raised or mature in their desire to please a woman. They can give you a litany of their wants and their needs but when women become vocal about it, the cricket chirping choir throws a symphony!

This is why I stopped reading Cosmopolitan. How many different ways can they tell me how to make a man ejaculate and have his toes curl? When I look at men's mags, they're all about being in the best shape, fattening up their portfolios, how to preserve their hair and good looks and towards the end of the mag, they might (and I said MIGHT) give a tip on how to make a woman go on a date with them. Like WTH? Really?!

So many of them have this attitude that it does not matter what you like because 10 - 20 other women are already lined up to take your place.

I used to feel ashamed but I realized the key was to love myself first. The good, the bad and the extremely ugly. The right man will not see you as a prude but a prize that is extremely secure within herself.

 

[Saga]

stephluv

This is the book I was referring to.

More free books:


The Rules
.

 

[FemmeFatale]

I need to do this too!!

@the bolded-I have that one and it is a lovely scent. Miss Dior Cherie is like its sister but richer, IMO. Some say a little childlike, but MD is really pretty and feminine.
I just got the Chanel No 5(Marilyn Monroe's famous scent) and I also think its a classic every woman should own.
But as always it depends on what brings out your best skin.

Yes it smells great and it's perfect for the summer. I'm also loving the new Coco Noir which is a more sultry/spicy scent. I'll probably get that too.

 

[FemmeFatale]

There has been soo much negative energy on the board lately. Just so much bashing, shade, envy and misery on this board. I feel like this thread is my safe haven where we can all convene without the drama.

 

[Miss617]

It definitely is. I have been on a narcissist kick lately. I was involved with one. And 75% of men are narcissist! Not to say that women are not, but the MAJORITY of men are and that tells me something. Many men are not raised or mature in their desire to please a woman. They can give you a litany of their wants and their needs but when women become vocal about it, the cricket chirping choir throws a symphony!

This is why I stopped reading Cosmopolitan. How many different ways can they tell me how to make a man ejaculate and have his toes curl? When I look at men's mags, they're all about being in the best shape, fattening up their portfolios, how to preserve their hair and good looks and towards the end of the mag, they might (and I said MIGHT) give a tip on how to make a woman go on a date with them. Like WTH? Really?!

So many of them have this attitude that it does not matter what you like because 10 - 20 other women are already lined up to take your place.

I used to feel ashamed but I realized the key was to love myself first. The good, the bad and the extremely ugly. The right man will not see you as a prude but a prize that is extremely secure within herself.

Preach.

I honestly hate Cosmo. One of my friends from college works there, and whenever she posts certain articles, I'm like You're just perpetuating this societal brainwashing of women that we have to be sexpots for the sake of men's pleasure and not our own.

It's funny because I was never like this, but with my wedding around the corner, I'm realizing I don't want to fall into the trap of making it all about FH and not about me. It took a long time before I could say, "This isn't working for me," or "I would like it if you did this." Shoot, I'm still working on it. And that goes for everything, not just sex. While, yes, the majority of men are narcissists and will just keep on keeping on without a second thought, some will appreciate it. At the end of the day, you have to take responsibility for your own pleasure, and part of that involves being very transparent about what you do and don't like.

 

[NijaG]

So many things when it comes to long-term relationships and parenting seems to fall on women which is why neither interest me. When it comes to sex, I think it comes down to the fact that assumption it's our job to entertain the men sexually. I think this is done in our social subconscious. If you ask people, most won't say it's the woman's responsibility, but there is an underlying assumption that it is. Magazines are a great example of that. There are loads of "tips" for sexual activity in women's magazines while the men tend to focus more on snagging the hottest chick they can.

That's part of the whole upside-down confusion when it comes to women's sexuality. Men are the ones who should be entertaining women sexually. Most women are responders sexually. That's why many women can abstain sexually for long period of time if can't find a man who really pushes the right buttons for them sexually.

That's another reason I don't buy into the whole "Men's egos are so fragile when it comes so sex, so you have to tip-toe and twist yourself into a pretzel to find ways of saying what you want, because if you don't and are honest and straightforward about their performance and ability to keep you entertained and interested, they will be traumatized for life".

I think all this tip-toeing and buying into the fragile ego meme is what is causing a good portion of women to have lack-luster sex lives, adding to that the mixed messages women get about their own sexuality.

 

[Enyo]

Random Note: Ladies who need to work on their wardrobes should remember that many retail outlets are having holiday sales! Look out for that special feminine piece!

 

[Enyo]

That was a double post. Sorry.

 

[sounbeweavable]

I finished reading Simply Irresistible today, and I don't know how to apply anything I read in here. It doesn't help that my self esteem is pretty much non-existent right now

 

[intergalacticartist]

How do you guys not let stress get to you? I feel like I have so many responsibilities and soooo many things to do

 

[bosswitch]

Gosh...I feel like this thread should have a reading list

 

[LovelyLouboutin]

Gosh...I feel like this thread should have a reading list

It does. Books are throughout the thread.

 

[nlamr2013]

havent had time to read the entire thread but are there any movies I can watch to help with this process?

 

[TracyNicole]

Here is a list of "Girly, Feminine and Romantic" movies , from a blog I follow. I haven't seen them all but of the ones I have seen, I put in bold the ones I think are really good. I will add my personal ones next post.

The Notebook (my favorite of the list)
The Vow
Gone with the Wind
An Affair to Remember
The Prince and Me
My Fair Lady
Sabrina
Breakfast at Tiffanys
The Divine Ya-Ya Sisterhood
Pride and Prejudice
Sense & Sensibility
Emma
Jane Eyre
Cleopatra
Memoirs of a Geisha
Chocolat
Gentlemen Prefer Blondes
The King and I
Some Like It Hot
It Happened One Night
The Trouble With Angels
How to Marry a Millionaire
An Officer and a Gentleman
Lady for a Day
Calamity Jane
Somewhere in Time
Gigi
Casablanca
Roman Holiday
Misfits
Wuthering Heights
Gregory's Girl
Mermaids
The Way We Were
I'm No Angel
Meet me in Saint Louis
All About Eve
Queen Christina
Lili
My Favorite Wife
Made for Each Other
Where the Heart Is
A Little Romance
Sissi
North and South
It's a Wonderful Life
Moulin Rouge
Seven Brides for Seven Brothers
Return to Me
Love Story
Funny Face
Ever After
Brief Encounter
Fools Rush In
The Christmas Card
The Graduate
Black Narcissus
It Happened One Night
Carmen
Jules et Jim
A Streetcar Named Desire
Green Mansions
Romeo and Juliet
Jewel of the Nile
What Women Want
The Philadelphia Story
A Lot Like Love
Sweet Charity
In the World Of Women
Doctor Zhivago
Love Story
The English Patient
Love Actually
Out of Africa
Wicker Park
Charlie's Angels
Singin' in the Rain
Cat Woman
Meet Me in St. Louis
Simply Irresistible
Carmen Jones
Ella Enchanted
The Princess Diaries
Serendipity
Under the Tuscan Sun
Definitely Maybe
50 First Dates
The Lake House
Save The Last Dance
Heart & Souls
Solaris
Raising Helen
Wonder Woman
Sliding Doors
Miss Congeniality
Say Anything...
The Wedding Singer
The Sweetest Thing
A Knight's Tale
Made of Honor
Mean Girls
In the Mood for Love
Step Up
Laura
Honey
My Girl
Little Black Book
One Fine Day
Notting Hill
Just Married
Xanadu
My Father The Hero
A Cinderella Story
Sunrise
La Belle et la Bete
Erin Brockovich
Last Holiday
Great expectations
She's Out of Control
Hope Floats
Crossroads
Dilwale Dulhaniya Le Jayenge (Romantic Bollywood Movie)
How to Deal
Laws of Attraction
Sydney White
Punch-Drunk Love
The First Wives Club
Girls Just Want to Have Fun
Raise Your Voice
Now, Voyager
Love with the Proper Stranger
Rodgers & Hammerstein's Cinderella
Someone Like You
The Perfect Man
Honey and Ashes
Juno
Romancing the Stone
Runaway Bride
Fool's Gold
Bring It On
The Women
Cruel Intentions
Marley and Me
She's All That
Just Like Heaven
Monster in law
10 Things I Hate About You
A Cinderella Story
The War of the Roses
It Happened One Night
You've Got Mail
Little Women
The Truth About Cats and Dogs
Two Weeks Notice
In Her Shoes
Mona Lisa Smile
Dil (Romantic Bollywood Movie)
Dirty Dancing
Lost in Translation
City of Angels
Bridget Jone's Diary
Just Friends
The Clique
Just My Luck
Father Of The Bride
Devdas (Romantic Bollywood Movie)
The Princess Bride
Muriel's Wedding
Return to Neverland
The Lake House
The Devil Wears Prada
Confessions of a Shopaholic
Uptown Girls
Beaches
Une Partie de Campagne
Angus, Thongs, & Perfect Snogging
Aquamarine
A League Of Their Own
Must Love Dogs
Bewitched
The Holiday
Sweet Home Alabama
Labrinyth
What a Girl Wants
Sleepless in Seattle
A Walk to Remember
Annie Hall
The Banger Sisters
Legally Blonde
Legally Blonde 2: Red, White And Blonde
Awara (Romantic Bollywood Movie)
13 Going On 30
Clueless
You Me and Dupree
Never Been Kissed
Romy And Michele's High School Reunion
Hairspray
Mona Lisa Smile
Now and Then
Any Disney Princess Movie
The Holiday
She's The Man
My Girl
Tinkerbell
The Hot Chick
How To Lose A Guy In 10 Days
Grease
Pretty in Pink
Andaz (Romantic Bollywood Movie)
When Harry Met Sally
My Best Friend's Wedding
27 Dresses
Ice Princess
The Proposal
Seems Like Old Times
America's Sweethearts
Something to Talk About
The Wedding Planner
Sex and the City
Titanic
Steel Magnolias
Pretty Woman
P.S I love you
Legends of the Fall
Mama Mia
Sixteen Candles
Baby Boom
The Nanny Diaries
The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants
Clue Crush
Bride Wars
Death Becomes Her
Flashdance
Footloose
Two Weeks Notice
Overboard
Stepmom
The Out Of Towners
Bobby (Romantic Bollywood Movie)

 

[TracyNicole]

The first movies I would watch are A Price Above Rubies and Dangerous Beauty.

Original Sin
Lady Chatterley
Amelie
Miss Pettigrew Lives for a Day
Along Came Polly
Something to Talk About
Gilda

 

[stephluv]

Random Note: Ladies who need to work on their wardrobes should remember that many retail outlets are having holiday sales! Look out for that special feminine piece!

Enyo -yes I totally agree...this thought crossed my mind when thinking I need to buy perfumes and MORE cute underwear...and bras (i have small breasts so i dont wear them often but I guess I should do less sports bras and tank tops )

I like to wear pants tho so this summer tho I will be mostly in jeans and shorts i'm going to try my best to soften/sexy the look by wearing frilly tops and heels...we might need to start putting some pics up in here lol

SN: I have noticed that by wearing my waist band thing I am walking with my hips swaying more