Sense and Sensuality ("Loving" Spinny)

[ladysaraii]

Is anyone else reading Mama Gena's books? I am halfway through the marriage manual and it has been life changing so far. I need some virtual "sister goddesses". Where you at ladies?

I'm reading womanly arts too. I also have her men's operating guide, but that'll be later on the list.

 

[RegaLady]

Is anyone else reading Mama Gena's books? I am halfway through the marriage manual and it has been life changing so far. I need some virtual "sister goddesses". Where you at ladies?

Im here

I am still on Womanly Arts, but I will be getting to the Marriage Manual very soon. Love her approach and her guides! Just allowing my intution to take me to what it is I desire and sit back and enjoy it gives me a wonderful feeling1 Like, now I constantly ask myself, "RegaLady, what do you want this moment?" And go with whatever feeling it is at the moment. I take more time to check in. I love it!

TracyNicole, what are you getting in the Marriage Manual book?

 

[TracyNicole]

I will go back and read the first two but I was really interested in the marriage manual so I skipped ahead. DH and I have been having a rough time, esp the last few months dealing with our infertility. We had a really bad let down last month and I was feeling at the end of my rope. On Friday, I picked up this book and started reading.

I watched the recommended movies and did the exercises. I am not even half way through and the icy silence in my home was broken yesterday. I thought the women in the stories had to be faking when they said in a week I was a new woman, but it's true. I mean some of it sounds really corny but the tips really do work. Am I saying everything will come up roses now? Nope. We will be back at the RE tomorrow again...but I am so happy that we were able to put this tough stuff aside and enjoy the weekend together.

Some people will really hate this book because she essentially puts the onus on the woman to be pleasant, positive and fun. At first I rejected this idea, but the more I read it made sense. Women really do set the tone and men follow our lead. There are no magic answers for solving your problems so I don't think it will get a glowing review from every woman, but for those in a relationship where the fun and joy have faded, it is a must read.

*If anyone wants in on a book group to tackle the actual exercises, I'd love the company

 

[ladysaraii]

I will go back and read the first two but I was really interested in the marriage manual so I skipped ahead. DH and I have been having a rough time, esp the last few months dealing with our infertility. We had a really bad let down last month and I was feeling at the end of my rope. On Friday, I picked up this book and started reading.

I watched the recommended movies and did the exercises. I am not even half way through and the icy silence in my home was broken yesterday. I thought the women in the stories had to be faking when they said in a week I was a new woman, but it's true. I mean some of it sounds really corny but the tips really do work. Am I saying everything will come up roses now? Nope. We will be back at the RE tomorrow again...but I am so happy that we were able to put this tough stuff aside and enjoy the weekend together.

Some people will really hate this book because she essentially puts the onus on the woman to be pleasant, positive and fun. At first I rejected this idea, but the more I read it made sense. Women really do set the tone and men follow our lead. There are no magic answers for solving your problems so I don't think it will get a glowing review from every woman, but for those in a relationship where the fun and joy have faded, it is a must read.

*If anyone wants in on a book group to tackle the actual exercises, I'd love the company

A lot of the relationship books I've read have this theme. I really think there is something to it. In a way it makes sense, I really think we are the emotionally stronger/smarter sex so it's not so off that we would set the emotional tone.

 

[TracyNicole]

A lot of the relationship books I've read have this theme. I really think there is something to it. In a way it makes sense, I really think we are the emotionally stronger/smarter sex so it's not so off that we would set the emotional tone.

I totally agree with you. This book takes it a step further though. The entire premise is that so many women are unhappy because they choose to be. I instinctively wanted to reject that, but even though it is unfair I have seen this theme too often to disbelieve it. Men need to be told how to treat women. When a woman is confident and bold in her femininity, a man gives his all to trying to please her. When a woman is angry and bitter, men don't know what to do with that.

 

[FemmeFatale]

Hey ladies, how's it going? So my hormones are out of control and I can't wait for the mister to put his hands on me

 

[TracyNicole]

Hi FemmeFatale It is going. I had a me day. I waxed, did my nails and hair. It was wonderful and just the thing I needed.
So what are you doing to encourage his hands in the right places? Lol!

 

[RegaLady]

A lot of the relationship books I've read have this theme. I really think there is something to it. In a way it makes sense, I really think we are the emotionally stronger/smarter sex so it's not so off that we would set the emotional tone.

I talked to a wife who I view really does what she can to satisfy her Dh. To me men would think of her as the perfect wife. We had a conversation and she was telling me about all the things she does to keep her Dh happy. At first I was like, "Umm you are the prize" And she is, but her advice was very interesting. The bolded is what she alluded to. She stands by the notion that behind every great man is a great woman, so do your job,lol. Her perspective was very interesting.

 

[ladysaraii]

I talked to a wife who I view really does what she can to satisfy her Dh. To me men would think of her as the perfect wife. We had a conversation and she was telling me about all the things she does to keep her Dh happy. At first I was like, "Umm you are the prize" And she is, but her advice was very interesting. The bolded is what she alluded to. She stands by the notion that behind every great man is a great woman, so do your job,lol. Her perspective was very interesting.

That's really interesting.

Can you elaborate

 

[Rocky91]

I am reading Mama Gena's Womanly Arts as well. Just picked it up from my library last week.
I really like it! I love the flirting method=think happy thoughts about your pussy and let that warm, happy energy radiate. Love it-simple, but effective.

One of the inspirations she cites for flirting Mae West in I'm No Angel. Here's a clip I found and love. Mae West is IT, honey! That sashay, woo chile. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H4OuN7JtSV0
Very good example of a non-submissive but ultra sensual woman. She's a blend of coy and yet very...brazen. Idk that's not quite the word I want, too many negative memories. Jamaicans talk crap about women being too brazen all the time.

coy and bold and witty. my fave moment: start at 0:32 where she eye-seduces the hell out of the judge! i need to be able to give a look like that by summer..

 

[daviine]

I really like the exercises in Lesson 6 of the womanly arts book. . I can't wait to go back and do them.

 

[ladysaraii]

So i went running today (first run of the year yay)

I noticed that I have a very masculine walk, its all shoulders and striding. I have to make a conscious effort to switch over to the more feminine saunter and walk in my hips. I've been slacking on my bellydance videos but I need to get back to them b/c they made me feel feminine in a way that few other things do.

 

[Enyo]

I'm consciously practicing the creation of sexual tension on a nice young man I've been dating. I'm surprised at myself because I'm usually quick to turn intense and passionate - but not in this case. I've been working on him for a couple of months slowly easing my way into his mind. It's nice because he's clearly enjoying himself as well. He enjoys the mystery and unpredictability. I don't want to pick up a new sexual partner when I'm so close to leaving, but I dunno. The more he likes me the more I "like" him. Don't judge...

 

[RegaLady]

That's really interesting.

Can you elaborate

@ladysaraii

I found a quote from another thread that sums what she said said to the T

I get it now. I;m glad I read this.
Although she does use the word submissive. The more I read the article, I'm getting it as I want my husband to play a certain role in our house & relationship. I have the power to make that happen. The power to manipulate the dynamics of your relationship.

Playing that female role-- even if it involves submission (hate that word, has to be a better one)-- makes you powerful, not weak. And, even though it's about him on the surface, it's really all about you.

Making him feel more like a man creates expectations for him on what I want his role to be and what I expect. To make a man play the male role, means having to play the female role. Part of that involves being 'submissive' so to speak, allowing him to be the leader, uplifting him, supporting him, making feel he is needed in his home. In turn, his reaction will be want take care of you (not feel it as an obligation), cater to you, provide for you, appreciate you--- and this is all regardless if you are an 'independent' woman or not. It's okay to be an independent, successful woman (have a profession, making your own money) and be supported by your husband. In fact, it's better. It may make marriages last longer, stronger, and better for every one involved.

And dare I say it, it's this aversion to the 'submissive' role that grew as women became a stronger presence outside the home that may have contributed to the decline in marriage. It shifted the dynamics in an unfavorable way.

And, it's not like I haven't heard this message before. But, for some reason, it resonated with me today. I admit, in my relationship, I've been going on as the smart, successful independent woman that could leave your arse in a hot second if you even think about not acting right, since I don't need you for money or finer things in life. I'm with you because I want you, love you. But, I think that's been the wrong approach. A man will not stay where he is not felt to be needed-- whether that means physically, emotionally, or sexually. I get it, now.

One caveat--- I would think to only apply within a marital type of relationship.

 

[RegaLady]

A great book I am also reading is Secrets and Mysteries The Glory and Pleasure of Being a Woman by Denise Linn

 

[FemmeFatale]

Enyo I'm interested in knowing what you've been doing to create sexual tension with said guy, lol.

 

[Enyo]

Enyo I'm interested in knowing what you've been doing to create sexual tension with said guy, lol.

FemmeFatale Well, first I had to get to know him. I learned the hard way that certain flirt techniques don’t work well on certain men. This guy, while really carrying and funny, has a narcissistic streak. I learned that it comes from insecurity which is weird because he’s very cute, nice smile, and works out on the regular. Generally, the sexual tension comes from me complimenting his looks or his actions and then withdrawing my attention and affection right afterwards. For instance, he was wearing a new shirt a few weeks ago that really showed off his nice upper body. Not tight, but fitted just right. I genuinely liked it, so I told him so. However, I looked around pretending to try and avoid being heard, leaned over and whispered in his ear, “But then again, you always look nice in your clothes”. I then pretended to be embarrassed that I let such a thing slip. It was funny. He turned all red and just laughed a lot. Once he calmed down, he just said, “Oh, man. I really like you.” And then proceeded to try and hold my hand. Though, I was coy and moved it just out of reach with raised eyebrows.

Our interactions are rife with that kind of play. There is a name for it in the “Art of Seduction” book, but I’m not sure what it is. Something about “hot and cold” I think. I’ll edit when I have my Kindle handy. I find this technique works will on mild narcissists. Just compliment them on what they most want to be recognized for, but not too much. Sometimes he fishes for compliments from me, but when he does, I rarely indulge him. For instance, he has a beautiful car that he’s proud of, but the first time I saw it, I made a point to be ambivalent. He was clearly hoping for me to get excited like most girls do, but I said, “It’s a nice color” in a rather aloof way, hugged him (he tried to hang on longer than was appropriate), and then walked to my car. We went to the movies a few weeks after that and I saw the car again. He was clearly not expecting a reaction since I seemed to bored before, so I just touch the chrome lightly with my fingertips, raised my eyebrows approvingly, and said, “Hmm. Yes, this is a pretty car.”

Side note: I made sure that I stared at the car when I said it. That way, it looks like you’re truly admiring the whip. Looking at him might tip him off that I was only doing it to be flirtatious. Men want you to really love their cars. LOL! He’ll probably be more turned on at the idea of you truly liking their ride than pretending you do so you can flirt. That goes for anything he owns that you claim you like. Give a good look at the object and then look at the man. It seems more genuine that way.

Anyway, he was clearly excited about the combination of me softly touching his car (which, to a man, is like touching his inner thigh) and having an approving expression. He immediately got rather close to me and asked me if I really liked it. I said I did, but slipped away and walked to the other side of the car and pretended to inspect it. I came back around the other side, got about 4 feet away from him, and momentarily dipped down to what is basically crotch level pretending to inspect the rims. I popped back up with a small smile, hugged him to make sure I did what I meant to do, and once again, walked to my car. The combination of getting an unexpected compliment and the brief suggestion of what it’d be like to have me “on my knees” left him aroused mentally and physically.

It’s been two months, so I let him touch me for longer periods of time and more intimately. He can touch my legs and my lower thighs without being slapped away. The boobs and butt are still no-zones, so he just looks at them. I let him tickle me. He says I have soft skin, so I let hum rub my bare tummy and back for short periods of time. It’s not all pure teasing, though. Sometimes he’ll aggressively pull me up to him. Not in a scary way or anything – I feel totally safe. But instead of resisting, I let my body relax in his arms and stare at him with a content expression. I wait until he decides to let me go since it gives him a mild feeling of having at least a little influence/control over me. I don't want him to feel emasculated.

 

[kweenameena]

@FemmeFatale Well, first I had to get to know him. I learned the hard way that certain flirt techniques don’t work well on certain men. This guy, while really carrying and funny, has a narcissistic streak. I learned that it comes from insecurity which is weird because he’s very cute, nice smile, and works out on the regular. Generally, the sexual tension comes from me complimenting his looks or his actions and then withdrawing my attention and affection right afterwards. For instance, he was wearing a new shirt a few weeks ago that really showed off his nice upper body. Not tight, but fitted just right. I genuinely liked it, so I told him so. However, I looked around pretending to try and avoid being heard, leaned over and whispered in his ear, “But then again, you always look nice in your clothes”. I then pretended to be embarrassed that I let such a thing slip. It was funny. He turned all red and just laughed a lot. Once he calmed down, he just said, “Oh, man. I really like you.” And then proceeded to try and hold my hand. Though, I was coy and moved it just out of reach with raised eyebrows.

Our interactions are rife with that kind of play. There is a name for it in the “Art of Seduction” book, but I’m not sure what it is. Something about “hot and cold” I think. I’ll edit when I have my Kindle handy. I find this technique works will on mild narcissists. Just compliment them on what they most want to be recognized for, but not too much. Sometimes he fishes for compliments from me, but when he does, I rarely indulge him. For instance, he has a beautiful car that he’s proud of, but the first time I saw it, I made a point to be ambivalent. He was clearly hoping for me to get excited like most girls do, but I said, “It’s a nice color” in a rather aloof way, hugged him (he tried to hang on longer than was appropriate), and then walked to my car. We went to the movies a few weeks after that and I saw the car again. He was clearly not expecting a reaction since I seemed to bored before, so I just touch the chrome lightly with my fingertips, raised my eyebrows approvingly, and said, “Hmm. Yes, this is a pretty car.”

Side note: I made sure that I stared at the car when I said it. That way, it looks like you’re truly admiring the whip. Looking at him might tip him off that I was only doing it to be flirtatious. Men want you to really love their cars. LOL! He’ll probably be more turned on at the idea of you truly liking their ride than pretending you do so you can flirt. That goes for anything he owns that you claim you like. Give a good look at the object and then look at the man. It seems more genuine that way.

Anyway, he was clearly excited about the combination of me softly touching his car (which, to a man, is like touching his inner thigh) and having an approving expression. He immediately got rather close to me and asked me if I really liked it. I said I did, but slipped away and walked to the other side of the car and pretended to inspect it. I came back around the other side, got about 4 feet away from him, and momentarily dipped down to what is basically crotch level pretending to inspect the rims. I popped back up with a small smile, hugged him to make sure I did what I meant to do, and once again, walked to my car. The combination of getting an unexpected compliment and the brief suggestion of what it’d be like to have me “on my knees” left him aroused mentally and physically.

It’s been two months, so I let him touch me for longer periods of time and more intimately. He can touch my legs and my lower thighs without being slapped away. The boobs and butt are still no-zones, so he just looks at them. I let him tickle me. He says I have soft skin, so I let hum rub my bare tummy and back for short periods of time. It’s not all pure teasing, though. Sometimes he’ll aggressively pull me up to him. Not in a scary way or anything – I feel totally safe. But instead of resisting, I let my body relax in his arms and stare at him with a content expression. I wait until he decides to let me go since it gives him a mild feeling of having at least a little influence/control over me. I don't want him to feel emasculated.

Enyo
Girl, I just got all excited reading that.

 

[FemmeFatale]

Oh wee Enyo you are the ultimate tease in a good way and I love it!! Wow you're a pro at this!

 

[ladysaraii]

Note to Self: Get back to reading Art of Seduction. I started it, but put it aside to start with the "foundation books" first.

 

[illustrioussplendor]

FemmeFatale Well, first I had to get to know him. I learned the hard way that certain flirt techniques don’t work well on certain men. This guy, while really carrying and funny, has a narcissistic streak. I learned that it comes from insecurity which is weird because he’s very cute, nice smile, and works out on the regular. Generally, the sexual tension comes from me complimenting his looks or his actions and then withdrawing my attention and affection right afterwards. For instance, he was wearing a new shirt a few weeks ago that really showed off his nice upper body. Not tight, but fitted just right. I genuinely liked it, so I told him so. However, I looked around pretending to try and avoid being heard, leaned over and whispered in his ear, “But then again, you always look nice in your clothes”. I then pretended to be embarrassed that I let such a thing slip. It was funny. He turned all red and just laughed a lot. Once he calmed down, he just said, “Oh, man. I really like you.” And then proceeded to try and hold my hand. Though, I was coy and moved it just out of reach with raised eyebrows.

Our interactions are rife with that kind of play. There is a name for it in the “Art of Seduction” book, but I’m not sure what it is. Something about “hot and cold” I think. I’ll edit when I have my Kindle handy. I find this technique works will on mild narcissists. Just compliment them on what they most want to be recognized for, but not too much. Sometimes he fishes for compliments from me, but when he does, I rarely indulge him. For instance, he has a beautiful car that he’s proud of, but the first time I saw it, I made a point to be ambivalent. He was clearly hoping for me to get excited like most girls do, but I said, “It’s a nice color” in a rather aloof way, hugged him (he tried to hang on longer than was appropriate), and then walked to my car. We went to the movies a few weeks after that and I saw the car again. He was clearly not expecting a reaction since I seemed to bored before, so I just touch the chrome lightly with my fingertips, raised my eyebrows approvingly, and said, “Hmm. Yes, this is a pretty car.”

Side note: I made sure that I stared at the car when I said it. That way, it looks like you’re truly admiring the whip. Looking at him might tip him off that I was only doing it to be flirtatious. Men want you to really love their cars. LOL! He’ll probably be more turned on at the idea of you truly liking their ride than pretending you do so you can flirt. That goes for anything he owns that you claim you like. Give a good look at the object and then look at the man. It seems more genuine that way.

Anyway, he was clearly excited about the combination of me softly touching his car (which, to a man, is like touching his inner thigh) and having an approving expression. He immediately got rather close to me and asked me if I really liked it. I said I did, but slipped away and walked to the other side of the car and pretended to inspect it. I came back around the other side, got about 4 feet away from him, and momentarily dipped down to what is basically crotch level pretending to inspect the rims. I popped back up with a small smile, hugged him to make sure I did what I meant to do, and once again, walked to my car. The combination of getting an unexpected compliment and the brief suggestion of what it’d be like to have me “on my knees” left him aroused mentally and physically.

It’s been two months, so I let him touch me for longer periods of time and more intimately. He can touch my legs and my lower thighs without being slapped away. The boobs and butt are still no-zones, so he just looks at them. I let him tickle me. He says I have soft skin, so I let hum rub my bare tummy and back for short periods of time. It’s not all pure teasing, though. Sometimes he’ll aggressively pull me up to him. Not in a scary way or anything – I feel totally safe. But instead of resisting, I let my body relax in his arms and stare at him with a content expression. I wait until he decides to let me go since it gives him a mild feeling of having at least a little influence/control over me. I don't want him to feel emasculated.[/QUOT

You are good! Sounds a lot like something my bestfriend would do. I'm not there yet but I'm taking notes

 

[FemmeFatale]

Enyo how so you reel everything back in before things get too hot? I know I'm going to struggle with this with my new guy. Building up the passion and intensity is fun but there's only so much of that that I can take, lol.

Oh and have you seem that video of Angel's techniques?! I can't wait to try them out on my guy.

 

[SelahOco]

FemmeFatale Well, first I had to get to know him. I learned the hard way that certain flirt techniques don’t work well on certain men. This guy, while really carrying and funny, has a narcissistic streak. I learned that it comes from insecurity which is weird because he’s very cute, nice smile, and works out on the regular. Generally, the sexual tension comes from me complimenting his looks or his actions and then withdrawing my attention and affection right afterwards. For instance, he was wearing a new shirt a few weeks ago that really showed off his nice upper body. Not tight, but fitted just right. I genuinely liked it, so I told him so. However, I looked around pretending to try and avoid being heard, leaned over and whispered in his ear, “But then again, you always look nice in your clothes”. I then pretended to be embarrassed that I let such a thing slip. It was funny. He turned all red and just laughed a lot. Once he calmed down, he just said, “Oh, man. I really like you.” And then proceeded to try and hold my hand. Though, I was coy and moved it just out of reach with raised eyebrows.

Our interactions are rife with that kind of play. There is a name for it in the “Art of Seduction” book, but I’m not sure what it is. Something about “hot and cold” I think. I’ll edit when I have my Kindle handy. I find this technique works will on mild narcissists. Just compliment them on what they most want to be recognized for, but not too much. Sometimes he fishes for compliments from me, but when he does, I rarely indulge him. For instance, he has a beautiful car that he’s proud of, but the first time I saw it, I made a point to be ambivalent. He was clearly hoping for me to get excited like most girls do, but I said, “It’s a nice color” in a rather aloof way, hugged him (he tried to hang on longer than was appropriate), and then walked to my car. We went to the movies a few weeks after that and I saw the car again. He was clearly not expecting a reaction since I seemed to bored before, so I just touch the chrome lightly with my fingertips, raised my eyebrows approvingly, and said, “Hmm. Yes, this is a pretty car.”

Side note: I made sure that I stared at the car when I said it. That way, it looks like you’re truly admiring the whip. Looking at him might tip him off that I was only doing it to be flirtatious. Men want you to really love their cars. LOL! He’ll probably be more turned on at the idea of you truly liking their ride than pretending you do so you can flirt. That goes for anything he owns that you claim you like. Give a good look at the object and then look at the man. It seems more genuine that way.

Anyway, he was clearly excited about the combination of me softly touching his car (which, to a man, is like touching his inner thigh) and having an approving expression. He immediately got rather close to me and asked me if I really liked it. I said I did, but slipped away and walked to the other side of the car and pretended to inspect it. I came back around the other side, got about 4 feet away from him, and momentarily dipped down to what is basically crotch level pretending to inspect the rims. I popped back up with a small smile, hugged him to make sure I did what I meant to do, and once again, walked to my car. The combination of getting an unexpected compliment and the brief suggestion of what it’d be like to have me “on my knees” left him aroused mentally and physically.

It’s been two months, so I let him touch me for longer periods of time and more intimately. He can touch my legs and my lower thighs without being slapped away. The boobs and butt are still no-zones, so he just looks at them. I let him tickle me. He says I have soft skin, so I let hum rub my bare tummy and back for short periods of time. It’s not all pure teasing, though. Sometimes he’ll aggressively pull me up to him. Not in a scary way or anything – I feel totally safe. But instead of resisting, I let my body relax in his arms and stare at him with a content expression. I wait until he decides to let me go since it gives him a mild feeling of having at least a little influence/control over me. I don't want him to feel emasculated.

Well my goodness. That damn near made me moist. . Tell us more.....

 

[Enyo]

@Enyo how so you reel everything back in before things get too hot? I know I'm going to struggle with this with my new guy. Building up the passion and intensity is fun but there's only so much of that that I can take, lol.

Oh and have you seem that video of Angel's techniques?! I can't wait to try them out on my guy.

http://www.longhaircareforum.com/member.php?u=229012
FemmeFatale Over the years, I've kind of built up a pretty high level of patience when it comes to men. If you want things to go a certain way, you can't rush it. It also helps that when I'm seeking a lover, knowing their body is important to me. I can take an hour (yes, a full hour) just roaming their body from head to toe with my fingers and sometimes mouth. I want to know what spots they like and which ones to avoid. I spent a good 5 minutes looking ol' boys face which, being a mild narcissist, he liked. I just wanted to memorize it down to the eyelash. I even know where the spaces in his teeth are. When you have my level of obsession, then it's easy to take your time.

Also, these interactions are just interludes in the soundtrack of your relationship. They should just be blips on the screen, and not the main focus. Catch him off guard with a statement, gesture, or action, enjoy his reacting and resume normal behavior. Breaking under the weight of passion means that you're having too much back and forth. Pique his interest - don't fill him up so that the cup overflows.

If you're easily excited, I seriously suggest "self-pleasuring" right before you meet with a man you're sexually interested in. I know that might be TMI for some, but releasing your sexual energy prior to meeting him might help you maintain that aloofness. Never let him see you get hot for him. If he does, it'll ruin the game of reeling him in.

Try and keep from being alone together. Most people are way less likely to fall out of their clothes when they're at the movies or having dinner. I'm rarely alone with this man. When he asks me over, I find a reason not to or I simply say I'd rather go for a walk with him or go to the all day breakfast place. He just got a new place and wants me to help him pick out stuff. We have shopping planned, but we will naturally end up back at his apartment. I plan to have some kiss and cuddle time on the couch and I will be sure to wear a shirt that makes it easy for him to rub my back and tummy like he wants. That'll go on for a while and I'll end it when I feel him getting too excited.

Yup, I plan ahead.

I have not seen the video yet. It sounds interesting.

 

[FemmeFatale]

Enyo you're something else and I love it, I will be following your tips and will report back. Delayed satisfaction is the sweetest.

I was already picking out my lingerie, candles and the landing strip design for my next Brazilian wax

 

[menina]

I was watching Memoirs of a geisha and thought of this thread. But now after reading Enyo's posts I forgot what I was gonna say, lol.

 

[daviine]

FemmeFatale Well, first I had to get to know him. I learned the hard way that certain flirt techniques don’t work well on certain men. This guy, while really carrying and funny, has a narcissistic streak. I learned that it comes from insecurity which is weird because he’s very cute, nice smile, and works out on the regular. Generally, the sexual tension comes from me complimenting his looks or his actions and then withdrawing my attention and affection right afterwards. For instance, he was wearing a new shirt a few weeks ago that really showed off his nice upper body. Not tight, but fitted just right. I genuinely liked it, so I told him so. However, I looked around pretending to try and avoid being heard, leaned over and whispered in his ear, “But then again, you always look nice in your clothes”. I then pretended to be embarrassed that I let such a thing slip. It was funny. He turned all red and just laughed a lot. Once he calmed down, he just said, “Oh, man. I really like you.” And then proceeded to try and hold my hand. Though, I was coy and moved it just out of reach with raised eyebrows.

Our interactions are rife with that kind of play. There is a name for it in the “Art of Seduction” book, but I’m not sure what it is. Something about “hot and cold” I think. I’ll edit when I have my Kindle handy. I find this technique works will on mild narcissists. Just compliment them on what they most want to be recognized for, but not too much. Sometimes he fishes for compliments from me, but when he does, I rarely indulge him. For instance, he has a beautiful car that he’s proud of, but the first time I saw it, I made a point to be ambivalent. He was clearly hoping for me to get excited like most girls do, but I said, “It’s a nice color” in a rather aloof way, hugged him (he tried to hang on longer than was appropriate), and then walked to my car. We went to the movies a few weeks after that and I saw the car again. He was clearly not expecting a reaction since I seemed to bored before, so I just touch the chrome lightly with my fingertips, raised my eyebrows approvingly, and said, “Hmm. Yes, this is a pretty car.”

Side note: I made sure that I stared at the car when I said it. That way, it looks like you’re truly admiring the whip. Looking at him might tip him off that I was only doing it to be flirtatious. Men want you to really love their cars. LOL! He’ll probably be more turned on at the idea of you truly liking their ride than pretending you do so you can flirt. That goes for anything he owns that you claim you like. Give a good look at the object and then look at the man. It seems more genuine that way.

Anyway, he was clearly excited about the combination of me softly touching his car (which, to a man, is like touching his inner thigh) and having an approving expression. He immediately got rather close to me and asked me if I really liked it. I said I did, but slipped away and walked to the other side of the car and pretended to inspect it. I came back around the other side, got about 4 feet away from him, and momentarily dipped down to what is basically crotch level pretending to inspect the rims. I popped back up with a small smile, hugged him to make sure I did what I meant to do, and once again, walked to my car. The combination of getting an unexpected compliment and the brief suggestion of what it’d be like to have me “on my knees” left him aroused mentally and physically.

It’s been two months, so I let him touch me for longer periods of time and more intimately. He can touch my legs and my lower thighs without being slapped away. The boobs and butt are still no-zones, so he just looks at them. I let him tickle me. He says I have soft skin, so I let hum rub my bare tummy and back for short periods of time. It’s not all pure teasing, though. Sometimes he’ll aggressively pull me up to him. Not in a scary way or anything – I feel totally safe. But instead of resisting, I let my body relax in his arms and stare at him with a content expression. I wait until he decides to let me go since it gives him a mild feeling of having at least a little influence/control over me. I don't want him to feel emasculated.

I just wanna say that I got about half way through this post on my phone, and had to jump on my laptop so I can say---

Enyo

Please don't go to Hawaii...move to NY! We have a few days of sunny weather and cold beaches.

Okay off to read the rest..... Carry on.

 

[robot.]

Can someone direct me to the post where a reading order was suggested? It might be father back than I'm remembering...

And the plan is to meet up at the expo coming up soon, right? Or did I miss something?

 

[RegaLady]

@FemmeFatale Over the years, I've kind of built up a pretty high level of patience when it comes to men. If you want things to go a certain way, you can't rush it. It also helps that when I'm seeking a lover, knowing their body is important to me. I can take an hour (yes, a full hour) just roaming their body from head to toe with my fingers and sometimes mouth. I want to know what spots they like and which ones to avoid. I spent a good 5 minutes looking ol' boys face which, being a mild narcissist, he liked. I just wanted to memorize it down to the eyelash. I even know where the spaces in his teeth are. When you have my level of obsession, then it's easy to take your time.

Also, these interactions are just interludes in the soundtrack of your relationship. They should just be blips on the screen, and not the main focus. Catch him off guard with a statement, gesture, or action, enjoy his reacting and resume normal behavior. Breaking under the weight of passion means that you're having too much back and forth. Pique his interest - don't fill him up so that the cup overflows.

If you're easily excited, I seriously suggest "self-pleasuring" right before you meet with a man you're sexually interested in. I know that might be TMI for some, but releasing your sexual energy prior to meeting him might help you maintain that aloofness. Never let him see you get hot for him. If he does, it'll ruin the game of reeling him in.

Try and keep from being alone together. Most people are way less likely to fall out of their clothes when they're at the movies or having dinner. I'm rarely alone with this man. When he asks me over, I find a reason not to or I simply say I'd rather go for a walk with him or go to the all day breakfast place. He just got a new place and wants me to help him pick out stuff. We have shopping planned, but we will naturally end up back at his apartment. I plan to have some kiss and cuddle time on the couch and I will be sure to wear a shirt that makes it easy for him to rub my back and tummy like he wants. That'll go on for a while and I'll end it when I feel him getting too excited.

Yup, I plan ahead.

I have not seen the video yet. It sounds interesting.

Enyo why is this?

 

[Enyo]

RegaLady For me, the game of seduction is not a two way street. If he knows he can drive you wild, then the dynamic has changed. It's hard to keep the attention of a man who knows how to push your sensuality buttons. He's less likely to pay attention to you because he's plotting on how to get the next rise out of you. Seduction is about power, and to wield that, you can't allow your "victim" to know your true weaknesses.