Lhcf Taboo Topic..black Women Who Are Done Checking For Black Men

[loolalooh]

I don't know if she meant looks, but I agree if she means personality. Zoe posessing lingo and mannerisms from both cultures. I noticed that in the episode of Punk'd, and also by the fact that she blends in whether co-starring with Nick Cannon in Drumline or Michael Vartan in Colombiana. I even noticed it by the fact that ww souls don't seem to be burning even though she's dating Bradley Cooper, but I'm seeing their souls burn over other wm/bw couples.

This makes sense. I agree about the personality.

 

[loolalooh]

UM BMP already explained herself and it makes sense

No need for yall to get all offended

I'm not offended, I just took the liberty of expounding upon it. Lol.

Cosign with TrueToHair. I was just interested in BMP's perspective. (I missed her response to an earlier poster.)

 

[FemmeFatale]

I like her spunk..how do they respond?

I've seen some get embarrassed and just KIM and I've seen get slick with her back. The reaction is usually the former though.

 

[meesch]

But I will speak my piece (I like that saying now lol) before I leave. I don't think I will ever completely write off a specific race of man. I really think that's stupid lol. As many men who inhabit this Earth? You haven't met all of them. And yea yea I understand if someone has dealt with mostly losers of a specific race and the only 'logical' conclusion to come too is to be done with them........but I still think it's stupid

With that said, I'm not the type to seek out majority black venues in hopes of finding me a good black man to create a skrong black family with . I feel no loyalty to black men. I feel no loyalty to any man that I don't personally know. I also think that is stupid lol

And yea, I live with mah black daddy and he is great

this used to be my problem. before, it wasnt that i was actually CHOOSING to not date any nonblack men. to be honest, it just wasnt something i ever considered, mostly because i was not around white people socially for a large portion of my life. but the further along i moved in education/career, the question came up.

and i did have to think about the whole "black loyalty" issue (thats how they get you ). this was probably around the time obama started getting a lot of attention, and the whole perfect black family theme was very salient. and for a long time, i felt like it was my "duty" to create some perfect black kids and contribute to the smallish circle of "positive negro images" and to do that, i HAD to make sure i ended up with a black man.

i dont like obligations. i didnt want to have to feel obligated to ONLY be with a certain type of man, and feel like i couldnt explore anything else. you tell me i have to do something and i get reactive. so sometimes i almost feel like the more you tell me i cant date nonblack men, or theres something wrong with me for dating nonblack men, the more dating black men is going to fall toward the bottom of my agenda.

if my current bf and i dont last for the long haul (who knows...) my next boyfriend is going to be whatever race gets there first im the finish line, and whoever is quickest to jump all the hurdles wins...

 

[Dellas]

Don't exclusively date any race! Just be open and go with who has the best offer. That will save you the anger and frustration.

If a black man meets your standards and treats you well...go with him.
If he doesn't and you get the "line...it is hard out there for a player/pimp/...man" then keep it moving.

Remember, nothing from nothing leaves nothing.....you have to have something if you want to be with me......
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G_DV54ddNHE


Nothin' from nothin' leaves nothin'
You gotta have somethin'
If you wanna be with me
Nothin' from nothin' leaves nothin'
You gotta have somethin'
If you wanna be with me

I'm not tryin' to be your hero
'Cause that zero is too cold for me, Brrr
I'm not tryin' to be your highness
'Cause that minus is too low to see, yeah

Nothin' from nothin' leaves nothin'
And I'm not stuffin'
Believe you me
Don't you remember I told ya
I'm a soldier in the war on poverty, yeah
Yes, I am

[Instrumental Interlude]

Nothin' from nothin' leaves nothin'
You gotta have somethin'
If you wanna be with me
Nothin' from nothin' leaves nothin'
You gotta have somethin'
If you wanna be with me

You gotta have somethin'
If you wanna be with me
You gotta bring me somethin' girl
If you wanna be with me

 

[FlowerHair]

How is it taboo when this has been discussed ad neauseum

Ita. How is this subject taboo when it's encouraged more or less daily here...

 

[Southern Belle]

I'm married to a BM, but I ain't mad at sistas that feel this way AT. ALL.

In fact, when I see a BW with a non-black mate, I flash her a huge smile, and I go out of my way to compliment her on how gorgeous her kids/dog/hair is.

Trust - BM ain't walkin' around feelin' no type of way about exercising ALL of their options. To see them on the business end of rejection doesn't leave a bad taste in my mouth. Sorry. *shrug*

 

[ScorpioBeauty09]

First off, no disrespect to the OP but white men aren't the only nonBM out there. It kinda ticks me how the BC automatically assumes interracial means white/black, because in my own dating considerations, I'm more likely to be interested in a Hispanic/Asian/Middle Eastern guy than a WM.

Back to the question, I knew some BW in college who only dated WM although I'm not sure if it was a preference or that's just how it happened. Just to note there weren't a lot of BM at my university and the ones that were there dated nonBW. I'm mad at them. If dating nonBM works for them then good. It's not like a lot of BM don't feel the same way. BM exercise their options, exclude BW and do it proudly. I'm not going to judge a BW for doing the same.

 

[fifi134]

I'm married to a BM, but I ain't mad at sistas that feel this way AT. ALL.

In fact, when I see a BW with a non-black mate, I flash her a huge smile, and I go out of my way to compliment her on how gorgeous her kids/dog/hair is.

Trust - BM ain't walkin' around feelin' no type of way about exercising ALL of their options. To see them on the business end of rejection doesn't leave a bad taste in my mouth. Sorry. *shrug*

Interesting.

 

[Renewed1]

I agree.....


I love the brothas. But I wouldn't date or be in a relationship with one again. So yes I written them off.

 

[HoneyCurlz]

I have never met BW like this. The only time I've ever heard someone say that is on LHCF.

Growing up..the blacks in my parents circle actually abhor interracial unions. They basically felt if you can't find an upstanding BM they will find one for you.

True!

In my parents circle...there are pretty much no IR relationships. No, I take that back...there may be 1 or 2 but 99% are black unions..they are very social, very philantropic, and very old school, successful type black people.

I would say in those circles...IR relationships are deifnitely going to cause some disappointment from the parents and "aunts/uncles".

But I guess it's the same for White people who are in those type of circles as well.

 

[GIJane]

I've only dated BM. But, lately I have been reconsidering it. Right now I have decided that I wasnt going to date anyone. Was just going to concentrate on raising my lil man and my career. But when I do start back dating I will definitely keep my options open.

 

[meesch]

I agree.....


I love the brothas. But I wouldn't date or be in a relationship with one again. So yes I written them off.

 

[Simply_elle]

Honestly...

I've only dated two black men, and before that had written off BM. I don't set to exclude, but I swear you can smell the BM BS from a mile away. I can't with our native brothas. I gave a college try.

However the two to make a liar out of me... one black ex is from Grenada, current beau is Jamacian.

I don't see me dating an American black guy

So yes and no I've written off black men...Lol

Sent from my iPhone using LHCF

 

[Leigh]

I have never checked for any man, black or white. I'm a lady- if they wanted to ask me out, they can come to me, I didn't go looking for no man.

In college, I dated a black guy once or twice who got my info and called and asked me out on the day before valentines day (which was a friday, guess he didn't want to take me out on the actual day) for a coffee date on campus.

Saw him like once again for a group date (more dang coffee) and then got a call from my white bf telling me that he'd asked her out on a date (she had a car, I did not) and asked if she could pick him up so he could take her out to Luby's

Needless to say, that ended before it even started.

Fast forward 4 months later and I met my now husband at a party who pursued me, courted me, treated me very well,and didn't ask out any of my friends. The rest is history. You don't always choose who you wind up with, sometimes, it just happens that way.

You chose to accept him, You chose to kick the jerk to the curb. Wise decisions!

 

[HoneyCurlz]

Honestly...

I've only dated two black men, and before that had written off BM. I don't set to exclude, but I swear you can smell the BM BS from a mile away. I can't with our native brothas. I gave a college try.

However the two to make a liar out of me... one black ex is from Grenada, current beau is Jamacian.

I don't see me dating an American black guy

So yes and no I've written off black men...Lol

Sent from my iPhone using LHCF

I would have thought the more you deal with any race/ethnicity of men...the more likely you are to meet and deal with men who are on some BS from that particular group.

Like if all you date are White American or Jamaican or Black American, etc. men...you are prone to having to weed out the losers before you actually find one who is worth keeping.

 

[niqu92]

im an equal opportunist and to be quite honest why should i restrict my dating options to only BM when BM are out and about dating becky,ming-ling, and dem and openly letting everybody know theyre not checking for BW anymore(and if they are checking for BW most of the time its the mixed/exotical looking/light skinenened type)
ive only dated black men but to be honest im having an extremley hard time finding a black men who are on the same level as me more particularly in terms of education/school since im a college student. and most of the BM on campus that do try to talk to me come at me with the whole "the only black girls i date are lightskinned w.long hair so thats the only reason why im even considering your black as$" attitude as if i should be grateful that theyre even trying to talk to me...uhhm negro please.at this point im super annoyed with it.
of course ideally id love to date a BM(especially caribbean BM) but at this point im opening up my options.if i meet a good BM then yes i'll date him. if i meet a good WM then yes i'll date him.same for hispanic man.idk bout asian though

 

[carcajada]

I doubt if anyone is going to say, yes I am done with BM on here. This is LHCF and they will get persecuted, talked about and forever be known as the member who hates herself.

Just sayin'.

There was a very welcoming thread in the relationship forum about only being attracted to and dating white men.

Eta: the most recent oNe was about liking anything but blk men.

 

[PinkyPromise]

Well my current SO is white and we are VERY smitten with each other. I can see why black women would write off black men and only exclusively date white men. Any guy can be a dog, but from my pov white guys are simple, sweet, silly, and more down to earth. I stay outside of Detroit and black men here tend to be arrogant and all about "getting money and fuxking h0es" kwim? So it's refreshing to have a normal relationship for once. White guys have a different way of going about dating and romance. I don't have to pay for anything. Whenever there's a door, it's opened for me and this is almost three months into our relationship.

 

[RedVelvet310]

This thread is just so bizarre (both the topic and responses) ... I don't know... I just can't...

 

[gabulldawg]

And exclusively dates white men..

Do you know any black women who feel this way? I know more than a few black women who have openly shared this sentiment. Are there any women here that feel this way?

I don't know any women like this irl. I've only heard that on this board. I think it's crazy talk and i've said that before.

 

[meesch]

Well my current SO is white and we are VERY smitten with each other. I can see why black women would write off black men and only exclusively date white men. Any guy can be a dog, but from my pov white guys are simple, sweet, silly, and more down to earth. I stay outside of Detroit and black men here tend to be arrogant and all about "getting money and fuxking h0es" kwim? So it's refreshing to have a normal relationship for once. White guys have a different way of going about dating and romance. I don't have to pay for anything. Whenever there's a door, it's opened for me and this is almost three months into our relationship.

you know, im really wary of making sweeping generalizations like this... not because theres no truth to them but because people get so upset about them.

i would love to just get the opinions of tons of black men on a simple question and ask like "do you open doors on dates?"

i hate that black women are made to feel so bad about dating non black men. you cant even talk about the subject without people getting really upset about it we really are socialized to just stick with black men and guilted with a whole gamut of reasons when we try to do anything else. and the thing that bothers me is, you cant even acknowledge the fact that black men are lacking in a lot of ways without having the situation turned on you...

i started reading that fatherless homes thread and had to stop like 10 replies in... because on the same forum where you have this sentiment of "black women need to choose better partners to father their children with" when black women actually CHOOSE OTHER PARTNERS they get scorned for it...

 

[Southern Belle]

Interesting.

How so? If you find anything even remotely "interesting" about what you've highlighted, you have for sure misunderstood my meaning.

 

[RocStar]

Well my current SO is white and we are VERY smitten with each other. I can see why black women would write off black men and only exclusively date white men. Any guy can be a dog, but from my pov white guys are simple, sweet, silly, and more down to earth. I stay outside of Detroit and black men here tend to be arrogant and all about "getting money and fuxking h0es" kwim? So it's refreshing to have a normal relationship for once. White guys have a different way of going about dating and romance. I don't have to pay for anything. Whenever there's a door, it's opened for me and this is almost three months into our relationship.

I have had that from every black man I have dated (ok, not my boyfriend in high school).

I say date who the heck you want, but when folks start to say white men are more this or better that, I give the side eye and tell you to start expecting, accepting and demanding higher from ALL men. You get what you give.

 

[Arcadian]

Have to admit I don't know any black women who have that feeling. White ones? yeah.

All black men aren't bad and all white men aren't good, and I ain't even gonna go go into red and swirls and ****

Some of my main criteria for a man aside from the no kid thing is love me, respect me, and give me good sex. (well I can't do nothing with a man with bad game in the sack!! )


-A

 

[gabulldawg]

I have had that from every black man I have dated (ok, not my boyfriend in high school).

I say date who the heck you want, but when folks start to say white men are more this or better that, I give the side eye and tell you to start expecting, accepting and demanding higher from ALL men. You get what you give.

Right! Like are white dudes supposed to be better? I never got that memo. you get a major side eye from me when you try to imply that.

I will say that i'm confused around here. Sometimes folks imply that white men are at the top of the totem poll while others make it seem like they are a last resort since the bm ain't checking for them.

 

[UmSumayyah]

It doesn't seem wise to draw a conclusion about what all (or most) of any one type of ethnicity are like if you've only dated one of that group.

Not if you've dated 20-100 either, but a sweeping generalization based on a sample of one is especially egregious.

 

[UmSumayyah]

Right! Like are white dudes supposed to be better? I never got that memo. you get a major side eye from me when you try to imply that.

I will say that i'm confused around here. Sometimes folks imply that white men are at the top of the totem poll while others make it seem like they are a last resort since the bm ain't checking for them.

Well, we're different people. There are going to be different opinions. Though for some people (not necessarily here) it kind of seems like it's both.

 

[lushcoils]

Is it also wrong to only date within your race and exclude other races?

 

[LaBelleLL]

@lushcoils By that I mean the tall slender modelesque type with very little boobs and butt, somewhat of a ruler shape and naturally skinny, sometimes these women will have a tough time attracting/appealing to BM and get mostly WM suitors. If WM happen to be the vast majority of the men that step to you or have a tendency to be interested, even though you're open to all possibilities, then I don't begrudge that woman for mainly dating WM, because its the man's place to be the pursuer.

I've heard this before and I def think it's a myth. Like another poster pointed out, it's more about personality when interracial dating (and dating of course). If you're a white guy and you prefer a black woman (apart from personality) based on her body, to me that's a "guy" preference and not "white guy" preference. and if you're a black girl, not attracting black men, it's not always about your body......

i'm from the NY metro area. when i'm home, i see a lot of black men with slender, ruler shaped, black gfs and no-butt-having gfs (and sometimes white gfs with no butt )