Is He Stingy Or Broke?

[Mai Tai]

Girl...don't let anyone make you feel bad about ghosting a man. I've done it before and it's very freeing. No one is OWED an explanation. Only you know the intimate details of your relationship and if you feel like cutting off contact is the best option to get that ole slack-jawed ninja out of your life then so be it. Like you said...he'll be alright. There is always a pick-me that's more than happy to accept his scraps.

 

[SweetNic_JA]

Honestly, I dont owe him an explanation. And I'm not concerned about being called immature, childish, etc. Everyone here has been Ghosted before and has survived lol. That's the least of my worries. Our last conversation weeks ago (probably around July 15th) didn't go well, so I hung up on him. He was being his typical selfish, unaccommodating, self so he knew I was not feeling him when I hung up.

Plus after I hung up, he didnt bother to call back for days to fix things. He was waiting on me to do it. Then when he saw I wasn't calling or texting..... He started to reach out again. He never addresses the situation or problem. He just was texting to spend sofa time together.

Ive tried to break up with him before. And of course he's the type to try to twist things around. I'll say you never take me on dates.... He says yes I do. I'll say your not a gentleman.... He'll say "yes I am". I'll say its not working. He'll just call the next day like nothing happened. So he never takes accountability or responsibility for his actions. I'm not being bothered with that.

lol, I'm having a flash back story that I'm going to share with you. So I drove to his his (mamas house) to hangout with him one Saturday. He lives about 20 miles away. This was like month 3 or 4 when he started to act up. And before hand I asked him what were the plans. He told me that we would eat pizza and see a movie. So yes, I put on a cute outfit and headed over in anticipation to go to the movies and out to eat. I come inside. He ended up having a burnt "frozen pizza" laying on the table and a redbox movie. I said I'm not eating that! He then responded "what you think you're a princess and too good to eat this". I said Heck yeah, and walked out the door. I went to the bar and order some food and drinks, and took myself on a date. Yes, I had to take myself on a date. So there's another one of his antics! Had to get that off my chest lol

His famous line " Oh I gotta spend money to see my women" replays in my head all of the time! And it's starting to piss me off. Im developing feels of animosity now .

He sounds like such a loser! OMG how did you put up with him for so long?!

 

[Evolving78]

Given this new information I agree with ghosting him. If there's any contact at all let it be via text right before you block him.

There is no ghosting. She entertained that foolish for a minute. He pretty much left her alone and was just seeing if she would take the bait again... it’s always interesting to see things get added to the story. Nobody would have even encouraged her to be mature with that nonsense. The mature thing to do would have been to no go back and forth, but that happened so...yeah op, it’s up to you now to just not pick up the phone anymore.

 

[greenmetro99]

I haven't picked up the phone. He's still sending messages, and now sending messages that will guilt trip me. I've been talking to a new guy this week to distract myself.

 

[greenmetro99]

He sounds like such a loser! OMG how did you put up with him for so long?!

I had a lot going on at work and with my family, lots of emergencies......so I was kinda distracted. I was taking mental notes about him and gathering them in the back of my mind. I just didnt have enough strength or energy to act on it. As I type to you ladies, I begin to remember more and more details that I had had forgotten.

Like another incident I remember was that I had drove to his house and not feeling to well, but my car wasnt parked very well. I have a hard time parking between other cars. He was standing there and saw me struggling. I handed him the keys and asked if he could fix my parking. "His response was "That's your car".

Or here's another... We are at a paintball gun range playing this interactive game with other couples. I needed replacement bullets which costed 5 dollars. I said sweetie I ran out of bullets. He didnt respond and just sat there lol. Didnt say a word lol

 

[BillsBackerz67]

I haven't picked up the phone. He's still sending messages, and now sending messages that will guilt trip me. I've been talking to a new guy this week to distract myself.

Is there a reason why you’re not blocking his number?

 

[huxtable]

/\ /\ /\

Run and don't look back. If you had stayed, you would have normalised his behaviour towards you and become downtrodden.

 

[BrownBetty]

I'm happy that you are recalling all the foolishness with him. Every time you remeber another example of his foolishness just know you dodged a bullet. It will help to keep you from romanticizing your time with him.

My gf's dad told her that you don't get over a breakup by recalling the good times you get over it by recalling allllll the bad times and why you left.

The parking and the $5 foolishness seem small but were telling. If a man isn't willing to make sure you are good then why is he there? Just taking up space and wasting your time.


Block his # and enjoy the rest of your summer.

I had a lot going on at work and with my family, lots of emergencies......so I was kinda distracted. I was taking mental notes about him and gathering them in the back of my mind. I just didnt have enough strength or energy to act on it. As I type to you ladies, I begin to remember more and more details that I had had forgotten.

Like another incident I remember was that I had drove to his house and not feeling to well, but my car wasnt parked very well. I have a hard time parking between other cars. He was standing there and saw me struggling. I handed him the keys and asked if he could fix my parking. "His response was "That's your car".

Or here's another... We are at a paintball gun range playing this interactive game with other couples. I needed replacement bullets which costed 5 dollars. I said sweetie I ran out of bullets. He didnt respond and just sat there lol. Didnt say a word lol

 

[Xavier]

I had a lot going on at work and with my family, lots of emergencies......so I was kinda distracted. I was taking mental notes about him and gathering them in the back of my mind. I just didnt have enough strength or energy to act on it. As I type to you ladies, I begin to remember more and more details that I had had forgotten.

Like another incident I remember was that I had drove to his house and not feeling to well, but my car wasnt parked very well. I have a hard time parking between other cars. He was standing there and saw me struggling. I handed him the keys and asked if he could fix my parking. "His response was "That's your car".

Or here's another... We are at a paintball gun range playing this interactive game with other couples. I needed replacement bullets which costed 5 dollars. I said sweetie I ran out of bullets. He didnt respond and just sat there lol. Didnt say a word lol

I don't understand how you even started dating this dude. He sounds more and more terrible with every story.

 

[SweetNic_JA]

Earlier I was on team mature, but now I'm on team Ghost. Every single person in this thread deserves so much better than what's being described here. This is a hateful person - passive aggressively hateful.

 

[caribeandiva]

...and then the next one says "you can at least give me the respect that I deserve. I was there for you when you needed me"....

So I guess he wants me to tell him that its over .

My petty self would be like: “YOU deserve respect?! So do I neegga!! So. Do. I.!!!” Honestly I wouldn’t even do that. Y’all know my blocking finger is strong. Blocked!

 

[LeftRightRepeat]

I’m on team “ I tell you one time”. Blivk him and if your phone can’t block him one of those apps out there will be able to.

 

[Theresamonet]

Is there a reason why you’re not blocking his number?

At this point I’m assuming it’s because she likes the attention.

 

[Crackers Phinn]

The OP got good advice and took it. It's a whole new dude in the picture. I think it's really easy to get caught up on "how did you not know" but this morning Drake almost had me looking at him like he ain't got an unacknowledged kosher free baby by a porn chick. It's easy to overlook stuff even big stuff when the heart, mind and eyes are getting in sync. The OP has moved on and that's what matters. I'd block his calls if I were her but I don't pay her phone bill so blocking vs non blocking is her decision.

 

[SweetNic_JA]

OP says she wants to laugh at his texts with her homegirls for a while. As long as she's not replying or getting a change of heart then that's fine.

ETA: It wasn't OP that said it. Another poster did.

 

[BillsBackerz67]

The OP got good advice and took it. It's a whole new dude in the picture. I think it's really easy to get caught up on "how did you not know" but this morning Drake almost had me looking at him like he ain't got an unacknowledged kosher free baby by a porn chick. It's easy to overlook stuff even big stuff when the heart, mind and eyes are getting in sync. The OP has moved on and that's what matters. I'd block his calls if I were her but I don't pay her phone bill so blocking vs non blocking is her decision.

She said she was trying to stay “distracted” from his texts and calls so I just assumed that if she didn’t want to be bothered at all common sense would be to block him.

 

[Theresamonet]

I’m not a fan of ghosting unless you can ghost them in every single way. Blocked number/social profiles, change of address, new place of employment... Truly appear as if you’ve fallen off the face of the Earth. The three times I’ve ghosted people (2 exes, 1 friend), it spiraled into stalking situations. One even signed up here looking for me. Way more trouble than just telling someone you can’t stand their raggedy tail.

I think ghosting is best used on people you’ve only known a short time, casual dates, IMO.

 

[BillsBackerz67]

At this point I’m assuming it’s because she likes the attention.

This could also be the case.

 

[SweetNic_JA]

He is too cheap to spend the gas money to stalk her.

 

[caribeandiva]

See...He's a professional victim and is playing games. My EXACT response to that would be:

"It's funny that you mention "respect" and "deserve" when you clearly lack the understanding of what those words actually mean evidenced by you disrespecting me and not dating me like I deserve. It's cool...I get it. You seem like the type of guy that's used to dealing with women who have little to no standards in their romantic relationships and while persistent couch surfing and long walks in the bitter cold may sound ideal to the average girl I just can't get with it. I'm letting you go so you can find someone more your speed and bid you good luck love."

THEN I would block him (maybe after a few days so me and my girls can laugh at whatever he texts back).

His face after reading this text

 

[BrownBetty]

The OP got good advice and took it. It's a whole new dude in the picture. I think it's really easy to get caught up on "how did you not know" but this morning Drake almost had me looking at him like he ain't got an unacknowledged kosher free baby by a porn chick. It's easy to overlook stuff even big stuff when the heart, mind and eyes are getting in sync. The OP has moved on and that's what matters. I'd block his calls if I were her but I don't pay her phone bill so blocking vs non blocking is her decision.

Go ahead OP!

My auntie told me at 18 "you get over a man by getting under a new one".

 

[BillsBackerz67]

He is too cheap to spend the gas money to stalk her.

 

[Theresamonet]

He is too cheap to spend the gas money to stalk her.

Yeah, I don’t think this guy is going to stalk op. He doesn’t seem to care enough to exert the energy required. I was speaking on my general stance as it pertains to “ghosting”.

 

[caribeandiva]

This thread is pure comedy at this point. You made my day ladies! OP isn’t to blame for getting with this dude. He acted right at first. He changed on her a few months in. Her only mistake was to hang in there, hoping he’d turn back into the man she met. Been there done that too. It’s all part of the learning process. When you know better, you do better. Thank you for sharing OP. You’ve helped more women on here than you realize. Congrats on the new bae!

 

[hopeful]

Honestly, I dont owe him an explanation. And I'm not concerned about being called immature, childish, etc.
...

I think the most mature thing a woman can do is take good care of herself, walk away from people who are mistreating her, and make herself her number one priority.

Ignoring him honestly is the absolute best thing for you and him. He doesn’t deserve to hear your voice or feel the power of forcing you to explain what’s up. You have been expressing your disappointment for months and he has consistently evaded you, sidestepped you, and manipulated you. What a jerk.

And he ain’t sent no flowers or apologized or brought up any of the issues you been bringing up for months.

He only wants one thing — to hang out on the sofa with you and eat frozen pizza. That’s it. And that guy deserves nothing else from you.

Thank you too for sharing so much. Lots of women have encountered men like him. It’s baffling to a woman that a man can be so “nice” in the beginning. It’s a mind game. It’s bait and switch. And it’s mean and cruel.

 

[Mai Tai]

OP says she wants to laugh at his texts with her homegirls for a while. As long as she's not replying or getting a change of heart then that's fine.

I said that. I don't see where OP posted that. Maybe I missed it?

 

[SweetNic_JA]

I said that. I don't see where OP posted that. Maybe I missed it?

You're right! @greenmetro99 has some 'xplaining to do. Not really, but what gives?

 

[hopeful]

I said that. I don't see where OP posted that. Maybe I missed it?

Pretty sure she didn’t say that.

 

[awhyley]

OP, might as well put him on block. Don't need any more of his negativity coming your way.

He is too cheap to spend the gas money to stalk her.

 

[greenmetro99]

Pretty sure she didn’t say that.

Thank you for reading my thread and for your thorough and pleasant responses. I appreciate it.

No I didn't say i was reading his texts and laughing. But, that is a good idea!

I have put his texts on silence now , so I don't get notifications from him. I'm not the type that moves backwards and falls back in like (there was no love lol), so blocking isnt needed. I rarely block people. From my experience, when you block them they will just contact you from a anonymous or goggle number if they really want to reach out. This dude is lazy and lacks effort so he wont try hard and will give up trying to communicate.

The new dude asked me on a date for next week. Ive had several phone calls with him and he texts often. So the new dude is on my mind now. On to the next!