Is He Stingy Or Broke?

[movingforward13]

Thank you for reading my thread and for your thorough and pleasant responses. I appreciate it.

No I didn't say i was reading his texts and laughing. But, that is a good idea!

I have put his texts on silence now , so I don't get notifications from him. I'm not the type that moves backwards and falls back in like (there was no love lol), so blocking isnt needed. I rarely block people. From my experience, when you block them they will just contact you from a anonymous or goggle number if they really want to reach out. This dude is lazy and lacks effort so he wont try hard and will give up trying to communicate.

The new dude asked me on a date for next week. Ive had several phone calls with him and he texts often. So the new dude is on my mind now. On to the next!

Understood but ignoring them and not responding is the same. He can still contact you from another number because you aren’t responding to the first one.
That said- it is your life sis- just be honest with yourself. Ego stroke, attention, you still care- whatever. Those are your reasons.

If I am really DONE with a dude- I don’t want to see anything and will block any and all attempts.
If you want him to stop messenging you but not by blocking- just simply tell him you found someone else you are falling for and you are done with him. Tell him the crayon is bigger and to leave you alone.
Countless times I have been told by men that you have to be a witch (insert a b) to get a man to stop bothering you unless he wants negative attention from you. Then the best thing you can do is block. If that doesn’t work, call the police and file a restraining order.

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[Keen]

I understand about not needing to block. If I decide I’m done, I’m done. It would be entertaining getting those texts.

 

[hopeful]

Yay! Onto the next ! Good for you!

 

[shortycocoa]

He is too cheap to spend the gas money to stalk her.

That's probably why he is stalking her by text messages and phone calls instead....a mess!

Look on the bright side, OP....if he's too cheap for an unlimited talk, text and data plan then all his shenanigans will end soon. But, like others have said, you could have deaded all of that by just blocking him altogether. So now I'm on team what's really good?

 

[LdyKamz]

...

 

[meka72]

I agree 100% with this. I don't understand why anyone would assume she's not blocking him for attention. She has been pretty candid about her missteps with this guy.

I don't block people's phone numbers. I just change their names to "Do Not Answer/Respond." Lol.

I'm finding all the questions about why she hasn't blocked him weird AF. She's not responding to the texts and she's still posting in the thread. What's the problem? I just find it weird. Not everyone is quick fast in a hurry blocking randoms or people you break up with just because. Eventually people give up and stop texting and then you move on. It's not strange or uncommon that people don't block. Now I block any and everyone because I'm petty but for most people, short of abuse and harrassment people just ignore text messages. I find all the extra posts about why OP hasn't blocked shady but what do I know.

 

[greenmetro99]

I'm finding all the questions about why she hasn't blocked him weird AF. She's not responding to the texts and she's still posting in the thread. What's the problem? I just find it weird. Not everyone is quick fast in a hurry blocking randoms or people you break up with just because. Eventually people give up and stop texting and then you move on. It's not strange or uncommon that people don't block. Now I block any and everyone because I'm petty but for most people, short of abuse and harrassment people just ignore text messages. I find all the extra posts about why OP hasn't blocked shady but what do I know.

In life, I just filter the good from the bad. And keep it moving. Overall many of these ladies have been positive an helpful and I appreciate that. The ex is not stalking me, he's too lazy for that lol. He will be fine. So I dont need any advice on how to cut off communication with him.

Before I created this thread, I was talking to my friends. They were telling me that I expected too much of him because I want to go out regularly, and I want decent gifts, etc. Heck I want to be spoiled! They told me to just work with him and see where it goes because people arent perfect. Well it wasnt going anywhere, and I felt no love. So I created this thread to see what people outside my social circle thought about his and my behavior and the relationship. It wasn't worth trying to save, but I needed some confirmation. That's all.

 

[greenmetro99]

I agree 100% with this. I don't understand why anyone would assume she's not blocking him for attention. She has been pretty candid about her missteps with this guy.

I don't block people's phone numbers. I just change their names to "Do Not Answer/Respond." Lol.

I always change the names to "do not respond". Or "butt clown, do not respond".

 

[BEAUTYU2U]

Ya'll so extra. How did people survive before the block feature? Goodness.

 

[caribeandiva]

Tell him the crayon is bigger and to leave you alone.

Omg

 

[caribeandiva]

They were telling me that I expected too much of him because I want to go out regularly, and I want decent gifts, etc. Heck I want to be spoiled! They told me to just work with him and see where it goes because people arent perfect.

What terrible advice!! Good thing you didn’t listen to them. Sheesh!

 

[hopeful]

What terrible advice!! Good thing you didn’t listen to them. Sheesh!

Right. I tell you so many woman do everything they can to convince women to stay and suffer and keep trying. Why? Like a grown woman can’t create a fulfilling life on her own. Like having a man, any old man, will do. Like there aren’t other options, better options. Your own friends advocating for this lazy, manipulative jerk. I’m sure her friends weren’t intentionally setting her up for unhappiness and mistreatment but it’s just so frustrating. I’m so happy she asked us for advice and listened.

 

[greenmetro99]

I went on a date last night! The guy texted then called 20 minutes after the date. Life goes on!

 

[jerseyhaircare]

I went on a date last night! The guy texted then called 20 minutes after the date. Life goes on!

I truly enjoyed your thread. Glad you've moved on and best of luck in finding the right guy.

 

[caribeandiva]

I went on a date last night! The guy texted then called 20 minutes after the date. Life goes on!

Good for you!!

 

[greenmetro99]

I truly enjoyed your thread. Glad you've moved on and best of luck in finding the right guy.

Thanks so much! Hopefully my story helped someone else in a similar ( crazy) situations lol

 

[greenmetro99]

Good for you!!
View attachment 433937

THANK YOU!

 

[Ayesha81]

I know OP has moved on but I just wanted to add whenever a guy brings up pizza or chinese, just know he is mean and cheap.

 

[jerseyhaircare]

I know OP has moved on but I just wanted to add whenever a guy brings up pizza or chinese, just know he is mean and cheap.

I totally agree. I once dated a caseworker at my job. He had a nice car and dressed nicely-but more importantly he was cute and funny. First date, we went to a nice restaurant and had a great time. However I was a little concerned when he spent about 10 minutes calculating the tip. Just kept staring at the numbers like it was calculus.

When he asked me out for the second date and said we'd hang out at his house, I knew it was the beginning of the end. We sat on his couch and he ordered pizza. I have no clue what he was said that night because I was too busy setting up a date with one of the other guys in my rotation. I'm not a greasy pizza on a couch sort of girl. So all that to say yup, it's an excellent indicator of cheapness.

 

[Evolving78]

I know OP has moved on but I just wanted to add whenever a guy brings up pizza or chinese, just know he is mean and cheap.

I totally agree!

 

[shortycocoa]

I went on a date last night! The guy texted then called 20 minutes after the date. Life goes on!

Ummmm....so can you tell us about this new date or nah? I'm guessing since he called and texted you afterwards it was a good date and you enjoyed yourself?

 

[shortycocoa]

I know OP has moved on but I just wanted to add whenever a guy brings up pizza or chinese, just know he is mean and cheap.

You know what, I never thought about it like that...but now that you mention it, that is so true!

 

[sgold04]

I dated a cheap man briefly, 3 dates I think? He works in oil and gas and we have mutual friends, so I know he made money, he just didn’t like to spend it. He spoke a lot about things being a “waste of money” on our first date which raised red flags, but my friends convinced me to go out with him again. 2nd date was ok, but more red flags. Our 3rd date was a trip to the movies and he said how expensive I was at least 3 times, then he was mad I didn’t invite him inside when he brought me home. That was the last time I spoke to him.

 

[greenmetro99]

I know OP has moved on but I just wanted to add whenever a guy brings up pizza or chinese, just know he is mean and cheap.

Girl yes, I will run the next time I hear pizza! And I love pizza, but no !!!!

 

[greenmetro99]

Ummmm....so can you tell us about this new date or nah? I'm guessing since he called and texted you afterwards it was a good date and you enjoyed yourself?

The new guy was fun. We actually work in the same field and have lots to talk about. We had sushi, and went out for drinks afterwards. Money was no issues for him and he was excited to be on the date lol. I ended the date after 2 hours. He invited me on a second date before I got into my car. Then he text me and called about 20 minutes later to make sure i got into house.

In the first few months with the ex, when he did take me out...he would get quiet when the check came. He paid it but he stayed quiet. So I'm going to add that to future red flags lol

 

[greenmetro99]

I dated a cheap man briefly, 3 dates I think? He works in oil and gas and we have mutual friends, so I know he made money, he just didn’t like to spend it. He spoke a lot about things being a “waste of money” on our first date which raised red flags, but my friends convinced me to go out with him again. 2nd date was ok, but more red flags. Our 3rd date was a trip to the movies and he said how expensive I was at least 3 times, then he was mad I didn’t invite him inside when he brought me home. That was the last time I spoke to him.

Thanks for sharing ! What were the things that he considered to be a waste of money?

 

[greenmetro99]

I totally agree. I once dated a caseworker at my job. He had a nice car and dressed nicely-but more importantly he was cute and funny. First date, we went to a nice restaurant and had a great time. However I was a little concerned when he spent about 10 minutes calculating the tip. Just kept staring at the numbers like it was calculus.

When he asked me out for the second date and said we'd hang out at his house, I knew it was the beginning of the end. We sat on his couch and he ordered pizza. I have no clue what he was said that night because I was too busy setting up a date with one of the other guys in my rotation. I'm not a greasy pizza on a couch sort of girl. So all that to say yup, it's an excellent indicator of cheapness.

At least you had hot restaurant pizza! I was offered frozen pizza!

 

[Ayesha81]

Girl yes, I will run the next time I hear pizza! And I love pizza, but no !!!!

Of course we love pizza! but still in the dating stages dont go for it. A guy I dated on our first date offered to go to a chinese buffet, by the third date he was ordering pizza.....and in between free movie tickets....Yikes!!! I ran fast the indicators were all there.

 

[hopeful]

Thanks for the tips ladies. Keep ‘em coming.

At least you had hot restaurant pizza! I was offered frozen pizza!

 

[caribeandiva]

You know he’s broke/cheap if when takes you out to eat he doesn’t order anything for himself since he’s not hungry but encourages you to order. He still picks up the tab though.