Is He Stingy Or Broke?

[sgold04]

Thanks for sharing ! What were the things that he considered to be a waste of money?

Eating out at restaurants, traveling (domestic and international), concerts/live music. Pretty much anything that required leaving the house. While I understand not blowing the budget on these items, it’s important for me to experience life outside of my home occasionally.

 

[shortycocoa]

You know he’s broke/cheap if when takes you out to eat he doesn’t order anything for himself since he’s not hungry but encourages you to order. He still picks up the tab though.

Yes ma'am! If this here ain't the truth...

Ok so y'all know about 11 years ago I was a raw vegan. Well, I had started seeing this guy who worked at one of the kiosks in the outlet mall. Anyway, when I told him this and explained what I do/don't eat, he was asking lots of questions as if he was intrigued. Well, a few days later he told me that he told some of his friends about me. And the highlight of the conversation was that if we ever went out to eat, he didn't have to buy any steak, chicken, shrimp, lobster, ribs, etc. In my head I was like "you're joking, right???" But he was serious.

We went to Moe's one day, because I thought it was supposed to be a lunch date. This fool said he wasn't hungry, but told me to get something. I HATE that!!! Why ask me out if you're not going to eat, too? I was extremely uncomfortable just sitting there eating while he longingly eyed my food. A mess.... I had to cut my dealings with him short.

A couple weeks later, I went out with a different guy on my roster that I met while I was out shopping. He asked me out and when it was time to go out, I asked him where we were going for dinner. He started that "I'm not really hungry right now" mess and I legit rolled my eyes. That was my first and last time seeing him. We talked via text once or twice after that but I completely lost interest.

Last story on this post, I promise. Years ago my ex-girlfriend took me to a Japanese restaurant. There was an older black couple seated at the table with us, along with maybe 2 other white couples. Well, when the server came to get everyone's order, the other black couple waited for everyone to order first and then the guy ordered for the woman, and it was the cheapest dinner on the menu. Ya'll, he didn't order anything for himself. He only got a drink from the bar.

So everytime the server brought out a different course he was just sitting there while she ate. She didn't offer him any of her food and he didn't ask. All of us were looking at them like WTF??? I know the woman had to be embarrassed but the whole time we were there she never made much small talk and she stared straight ahead while she was eating and didn't make direct eye contact with anyone. I wonder if they were married...

 

[hopeful]

Haha @shortycocoa I am enjoying your stories . The woman staring ahead the whole time? I can’t...

 

[caribeandiva]

I wonder if they were married...

I doubt it. She was obviously mortified. I pray for her sake it was their first and last date.

 

[shortycocoa]

I doubt it. She was obviously mortified. I pray for her sake it was their first and last date.

right! I couldn't tell if she was wearing a ring or not because I was stuck on everything else that was wrong with the situation. And you know how at places like that you usually make small talk with everyone here and there but you mostly talk to the people in your party? She had NO conversation for him, but I don't blame her. I wouldn't have been talking to him, either.

Moral of the story--if you only got enough money to pay for one person, don't ask a woman out. Keep your home or get some takeout.

Sheryl Lee Ralph's character had the right idea here when she left after J.J. told her he lost his job:

Haha @shortycocoa I am enjoying your stories . The woman staring ahead the whole time? I can’t...

Her face was stone cold, too! I felt bad for her.

 

[awhyley]

I never even dreamed that people go on dates, and the women eat alone. Do men really think that they're earning brownie points with this foolishness? It's so awkward though, you pretty much have to sit down and order before you realize that he's not getting anything. When you figure it out, do you get up and leave?

 

[shortycocoa]

I never even dreamed that people go on dates, and the women eat alone. Do men really think that they're earning brownie points with this foolishness? It's so awkward though, you pretty much have to sit down and order before you realize that he's not getting anything. When you figure it out, do you get up and leave?

I think in their eyes, it looks better than cancelling. Either that or they may secretly hope the woman will just stay and pay for everything just to save face. I've never left in that situation, but now that I'm older and wiser and don't have time for the broke men chronicles and their brigade, I certainly would. Especially if they waited until we sat down to eat to pull that stunt.

Speaking of stunts, I remember a couple years ago men were doing this on purpose as a way to "test" women. The men were supposedly financially stable, though. I was tired of seeing FB posts from men asking women what they would do if a man did that to them on a date.

 

[mrselle]

I'm embarrassed to share this, but in my defense I was young.

This guy I was seeing invited me to have lunch with him. Lunch consisted of me meeting him at his place on his lunch break. We sat on the floor and ate chicken from KFC.

 

[caribeandiva]

...It's so awkward though, you pretty much have to sit down and order before you realize that he's not getting anything. When you figure it out, do you get up and leave?

And waste a perfectly good dinner? Nah son..

 

[metro_qt]

It's so awkward though, you pretty much have to sit down and order before you realize that he's not getting anything. When you figure it out, do you get up and leave?

YES!!! Save yourself the trouble! This happened to me in my 20s, through online dating.
I met a guy, and for our first date he said he had a surprise for me.
I was excited.

He took me ice skating. Super cute right!
Afterwards, we were hungry, and he takes me to this fancy seafood restaurant nearby.

He only ordered a drink.
I was perplexed.
I didn't want to eat alone, so I ONLY ordered an appetizer. He watched me eat.

When the waitress came at the end, he said yea, I'll pay for mine, she'll pay for hers!!!!!!!!!!

I was stunned! I kept it classy, I paid, and walked back to my car, he walks with me all excited about our future second date...and the people we knew in common, etc.

NO. THERE WAS NEVER A SECOND DATE.
I got in my car and deleted his number before I even turned on the engine.

The end.

 

[Cattypus1]

I’m with whoever said it doesn’t matter! He is no longer courting you and is clearly not interested in a committed relationship. You are a Queen...keep it moving, girl. Y’all can be friends if you like him that much. Your king is out there, don’t even begin to settle for a cheap or a broke man!

 

[SweetNic_JA]

This latest topic has me cracking up.

My love has done this to me in the past, but not because of lack of money. I was on a project here in NYC where I'd get off work late and take the train to my place - sometimes not arriving home till 8:00PM. At the same time he'd have evening meetings at the private club he belongs to, and would eat there. So to make sure I ate without having to cook, he'd take me out after, and sit there to make sure I ate. I hated it! Then he'd have me order another meal for lunch the next day.

 

[CarmelCupcake]

This latest topic has me cracking up.

My love has done this to me in the past, but not because of lack of money. I was on a project here in NYC where I'd get off work late and take the train to my place - sometimes not arriving home till 8:00PM. At the same time he'd have evening meetings at the private club he belongs to, and would eat there. So to make sure I ate without having to cook, he'd take me out after, and sit there to make sure I ate. I hated it! Then he'd have me order another meal for lunch the next day.

Aww, he sounds sweet

 

[caribeandiva]

NO. THERE WAS NEVER A SECOND DATE.
I got in my car and deleted his number before I even turned on the engine.

The end.

Good for you!!

 

[greenmetro99]

YES!!! Save yourself the trouble! This happened to me in my 20s, through online dating.
I met a guy, and for our first date he said he had a surprise for me.
I was excited.

He took me ice skating. Super cute right!
Afterwards, we were hungry, and he takes me to this fancy seafood restaurant nearby.

He only ordered a drink.
I was perplexed.
I didn't want to eat alone, so I ONLY ordered an appetizer. He watched me eat.

When the waitress came at the end, he said yea, I'll pay for mine, she'll pay for hers!!!!!!!!!!

I was stunned! I kept it classy, I paid, and walked back to my car, he walks with me all excited about our future second date...and the people we knew in common, etc.

NO. THERE WAS NEVER A SECOND DATE.
I got in my car and deleted his number before I even turned on the engine.

The end.

The nerve of him!


I love the stories. Keep them coming ladies!

 

[greenmetro99]

I’m with whoever said it doesn’t matter! He is no longer courting you and is clearly not interested in a committed relationship. You are a Queen...keep it moving, girl. Y’all can be friends if you like him that much. Your king is out there, don’t even begin to settle for a cheap or a broke man!

Thank you. I agree.
Im already dating a new guy

 

[intellectualuva]

I love this topic shift.

Looking back I agree about the pizza and men who keep a mental list (occasionally stating out loud) of things that "waste" money where the top of the list includes things usually done on a date.

I personally don't want anything to do with a guy suggesting Applebees 2/20 as an option. Like men who state on their profiles I'm an open minded men who doesnt need fancy restaurants to get to know each other we can do that at (insert national chain). Its not that I'm objecting to the idea of cheap dates (though I prefer something creative like museums, music in the park, etc) just that any man who feels the need to actually say it tells me what I need to know.

 

[SweetNic_JA]

Aww, he sounds sweet

Thanks

 

[BEAUTYU2U]

And waste a perfectly good dinner? Nah son..

Get it to go, lol. Or will these bums not pay for that? Either way, leaving quickly needs to happen.

 

[shortycocoa]

I personally don't want anything to do with a guy suggesting Applebees 2/20 as an option.

I know a girl who went out on a lunch date with a guy a few years ago and they went to Chili's. She got a 2/20 BY HERSELF....and the guy took a picture of all the food and posted it on FB to tell everyone how greedy she was. I think he was pissed that he had to order something else and was therefore out of budget.

 

[BEAUTYU2U]

I know a girl who went out on a lunch date with a guy a few years ago and they went to Chili's. She got a 2/20 BY HERSELF....and the guy took a picture of all the food and posted it on FB to tell everyone how greedy she was. I think he was pissed that he had to order something else and was therefore out of budget.

I've ordered a 2/20 to take one home, lol. But the portions at Chili's are too much for one sitting.

 

[awhyley]

I think in their eyes, it looks better than cancelling. Either that or they may secretly hope the woman will just stay and pay for everything just to save face. I've never left in that situation, but now that I'm older and wiser and don't have time for the broke men chronicles and their brigade, I certainly would. Especially if they waited until we sat down to eat to pull that stunt.

I think that this is the zinger here, but not to save face, just keep money in their wallets.

I didn't want to eat alone, so I ONLY ordered an appetizer. He watched me eat.

When the waitress came at the end, he said yea, I'll pay for mine, she'll pay for hers!!!!!!!!!!

Thank goodness you only ordered the appetizer. It sucks that he sprang that on you at the last minute, after you'd already eaten.

 

[shortycocoa]

I think that this is the zinger here, but not to save face, just keep money in their wallets.



Thank goodness you only ordered the appetizer. It sucks that he sprang that on you at the last minute, after you'd already eaten.

I think this is why most servers now ask as soon as people are seated if the check is together or separate. It doesn't give men a chance to pull this and if they do, the women can then decide if they want to leave or stay.

 

[oneastrocurlie]

I think this is why most servers now ask as soon as people are seated if the check is together or separate. It doesn't give men a chance to pull this and if they do, the women can then decide if they want to leave or stay.

I've noticed this more and it doesn't matter who I'm with. Servers don't want no drama. Lol.

 

[greenmetro99]

Hey ladies! I'm still dating the new dude that I told you about in august. He takes me out on lots of dates and pays for everything with a big smile on his face. He tells me that I'm awesome lol . I'm glad that I did not settle for the dusty Negro.

 

[shortycocoa]

Hey ladies! I'm still dating the new dude that I told you about in august. He takes me out on lots of dates and pays for everything with a big smile on his face. He tells me that I'm awesome lol . I'm glad that I did not settle for the dusty Negro.

That is great to hear! I'm so happy you decided to keep looking for what you wanted.

 

[lavaflow99]

I had to refresh my memory about this thread. And it was a great story! Glad to see that you are winning now and being treated like the prize that you are.

But the LHCF ladies want to know ....did dusty Negro eventually stop texting? Or he still sends out messages now and again?

 

[shortycocoa]

I had to refresh my memory about this thread. And it was a great story! Glad to see that you are winning now and being treated like the prize that you are.

But the LHCF ladies want to know ....did dusty Negro eventually stop texting? Or he still sends out messages now and again?

Girl he is cancelled....Iono bout everybody else but I want to hear more stories about her and the new dude. What kind of places is he taking you to? What kind of fun are you having? Tell. us. more.

 

[greenmetro99]

I had to refresh my memory about this thread. And it was a great story! Glad to see that you are winning now and being treated like the prize that you are.

But the LHCF ladies want to know ....did dusty Negro eventually stop texting? Or he still sends out messages now and again?

The dusty Negro sent a few texts about 2 weeks apart. He kept saying pay him the respect her deserves, by talking to him and telling him it was over and that I would not want anyone to ghost on me. I never responded. He didnt try to convince or win me over at all, and he gave no effort or concern. I kinda think that he thought he was the prize, and that I was going to come to my senses and see how great of a catch he was and beg to be back with him lol. He thought that he was a good catch because he was educated with no kids...sorry that isnt enough!

Anyhow, the new guy has been around since august . He buys me gifts, dinner, movies, drinks, etc. He does handy work around the house, and he likes to help me. It's refreshing.

 

[greenmetro99]

Girl he is cancelled....Iono bout everybody else but I want to hear more stories about her and the new dude. What kind of places is he taking you to? What kind of fun are you having? Tell. us. more.

The new guy takes me to nice restaurants (No applebees), bars , concerts, movies, and theater. We are planning a cruise in the Spring, and no I wont be paying. He loves to go out and explore the city so we are compatible in that sense. He has a good career, no kids, and money is no issue. He easily spends 100 dollars in cash at the bar with no complaints. He doesn't pull the calculator out or start to sweat when the bill comes. When he goes out with his friends to sporting events he always brings me back sovereigns lol. It's funny. I like being treated decently. I didn't realize how much I was being neglected with the previous broke dusty.