Should he get a 2nd date?

[Miss_C]

This happened to me on a date once, except I had to pay for my own burrito at Chipotle. We did not go on a date again. I don't play these games.

 

[Leigh]

Nope he should not get a second date.

 

[HauteHippie]

I'll step out out of my element and say I think you should give him a second chance. Some people don't consider "the meet" to be the first date and either don't pay or don't want to offend/make a fuss/ apply any kind of pressure by paying for that first coffee, tea, ice cream or whatever.

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Wow... I can't believe that was MY answer when I know good and well that if a guy doesn't pay for a date/meetup, I look at him as less masculine and chivalrous. What a turn-off! I mean... it actually is a dealbreaker, even though I don't like to admit it. Even my platonic male friends pay. Every once in a blue moon, I'll buy drinks, but I have to do it while they're in the bathroom or something.

The few times this no pay craziness happened I delegated that person to a platonic acquaintance indefinitely with one exception. I should not have made the exception.

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[ackee walk]

absolutely not.

in my past experience in a similar situation, i gave the guy a second chance and it made no difference. he was who he was-- cheap and immature. i don't care how clueless someone wants to make the man out to be. at some point you're just too grown for that mess and it's not the woman's job to teach a grown man manners.

 

[SerenavanderWoodsen]

No second date. You don't pull something like that on a first date, total, utter turn off .

 

[SerenavanderWoodsen]

This happened to me on a date once, except I had to pay for my own burrito at Chipotle. We did not go on a date again. I don't play these games.

Right, whether it's a game or just plain stinginess, it would turn me off so bad that guy would have to do something crazy to see me again. If you take a woman out it entails paying for her meals and any other activities that cost money. This is not coming from any goldigging place in me either, just plain old gender roles. What is the matter with men these days, seriously?

 

[SerenavanderWoodsen]

It's funny because I remember in high school with one my first and totally non serious boyfriends who I hadn't even kissed yet I was embarrassed and kind of turned off when we stood near a little jewelry storefront and he asked me if I wanted anything. I refused lol. But if he'd taken me out on a date and expected me to pay for any part of it I would have been insulted and disgusted.

 

[Pat Mahurr]

So, @LadyPaniolo, I see this thread was started in September.

What was the outcome of this hypothetical situation? Did they go on another hypothetical date or did she kick him to the hypothetical curb?

 

[HauteHippie]

My male friend says the guy should pay and that it says a lot about his personality/mindset if he doesn't. He should just assume he's going to pay.

He also said that maybe the guy might be unsure about things if he doesn't pay. If he asks the girl out, he should pay. If it's a friendship basis he can see how you might go dutch. But the guy should pay! (He said "exclamation point"). Though tere are some exceptions. He's just comfortable paying.

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