Is dating a white man a "step up"?

Is choosing a white man a "step up" for black women?

  • Yay. White man got that paper.

    Votes: 44 6.2%

  • Who ever answered the above needs to be banned.

    Votes: 126 17.6%

  • No: All men are equal.

    Votes: 426 59.7%

  • No: No man is better than a black man.

    Votes: 104 14.6%

  • N/A: I like women.

    Votes: 14 2.0%
  • Total voters
    714
HoneyDew said:
Step up?!? If I were to think that, I would be putting myself down because I have never met a man that I feel is better than me.

That's crazy talk.
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A man will never be better than a woman until he grows a coochie... until then, he will always be underneath US!
 
Some people just have a weird view of things and if they do think that this would be a step up what does that say about them as a person. Dating in itself is a such a task, why screw it up with pre-conceived notions such as this.

If that's what you choose to do for the sake of love, great, but don't do it to put a show on for the world, you may lose yourself in the long run.
 
Is being black a step down? I'm appalled when I see stuff that mentions this in 2006. Is our self-hatred as such that we have to put people into categories or only date guys that are "light skinned" that's self-hatred if you ask me. Besides there's so much more to focus on. A man is a man if he treats you like a queen and loves you that's all that matters. I'm married to a great Man for 8 years; yes he is African American, intelligent, went to college on a full scholarship, multi- talented and trust me I can go on and on. But I won't. Prior to him guys of all races were attracted to me, I never judged them on the outward appearance but always on the way they treated me.
 
CinnaMocha said:
Some people just have a weird view of things and if they do think that this would be a step up what does that say about them as a person. Dating in itself is a such a task, why screw it up with pre-conceived notions such as this.

If that's what you choose to do for the sake of love, great, but don't do it to put a show on for the world, you may lose yourself in the long run.
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I agree with you here. Color is unimportant when you think of the things that really matter in trying to have a successful relationship.
 
CinnaMocha said:
Some people just have a weird view of things and if they do think that this would be a step up what does that say about them as a person. Dating in itself is a such a task, why screw it up with pre-conceived notions such as this.

If that's what you choose to do for the sake of love, great, but don't do it to put a show on for the world, you may lose yourself in the long run.
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I could have put it any better, I think you should date a person who you are attracted to and for a committed long lasting relationship. Personally I think dating white men or others as they are a 'step up' for the experience can backfire. I don't think I would feel comfortable dating a white men, as a step up, he has to have good qualities, if not, I am not interested. There are much better men who turn who are worthy of my time.
 
If you think beeing black means beeing under the level of white people,beeing a *untermensch* I guess then it`s a step-up:ohwell:

Anyways,at the end race doesn`t matter,it matters if your hubby is there for you and if he treats you well;)
 
Yes, if he's 'the one'...;) It is truly a 'step-up'.

No matter what color, it's always a step-up when a man and woman come together who are right with and for each other.

My sweetheart is Caucasian, yet we 'forget' that we different racial origins. We never really think about it. And when we do, it's the beauty of it doesn't matter to us that makes it a true 'step-up' for both of us.

Okay, enough of the 'flutter'. :lol: Seriously, now-a-days, Black men have just as much prestige as White men in many areas of life. My children are very sucessful and prosperous and they have both married within our race.

Although our family bloodline is African American, American Indian and Jewish (my grandfather and great grandfather were Jewish, my grandmother African American and Indian) we still honor our African heritage and proudly so.

All of the men (my mom's brothers -- all 6 of them) were successful craftsmen and business owners, so it was definitely a step up for the women that they married.

My point, is that it's only a step up when the two people are right for each other, no matter what color...race.
 
UmSumayyah said:
I know. Trife, isn't it?
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I don't think so. After all, it is true that with white men come white privilege and a shallow black woman may want a piece of the pie.

Not agreeing with the line of thinking here but society reinforces that privilege and power lies with the white man (which is a fact) and some women only want a man who can wine, fine, and dine her. What better way to get what you want by investing in a white man?
 
Oh, I'm not saying that white men aren't statistically more likely to have a bigger bank account.
I'm just saying that you can't assume that because someone is white, that they have "paper". That's where the "trife" part comes in.
 
UmSumayyah said:
Oh, I'm not saying that white men aren't statistically more likely to have a bigger bank account.
I'm just saying that you can't assume that because someone is white, that they have "paper". That's where the "trife" part comes in.
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LOL true....the guy Im seeing is white and he is far from rolling in the dough...just got out of the military and is starting from scratch to go to school and all that stuff. I was like damn where did I go wrong...lol :lol:. Luckily Im the type who believes there isnt anything financially any man can do for me that I cant do for myself (eventually) so money isnt a motive in a significant other. It would be nice of course, but it isnt mandatory.
 
Leslie_C said:
LOL true....the guy Im seeing is white and he is far from rolling in the dough...just got out of the military and is starting from scratch to go to school and all that stuff. I was like damn where did I go wrong...lol :lol:. Luckily Im the type who believes there isnt anything financially any man can do for me that I cant do for myself (eventually) so money isnt a motive in a significant other. It would be nice of course, but it isnt mandatory.
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leslie, what happened with the other dude, the guy who was living with you? did he move out or did you move out?
 
Parvathi said:
I don't think so. After all, it is true that with white men come white privilege and a shallow black woman may want a piece of the pie.

Not agreeing with the line of thinking here but society reinforces that privilege and power lies with the white man (which is a fact) and some women only want a man who can wine, fine, and dine her. What better way to get what you want by investing in a white man?
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Very well put Parvathi. Hum . . . too much responsibility goes with these privileges. Especially when you’re the first black women he's dated and all his remarks such as "is it true that black people/women . . . ?” And the gazing as we wash and straighten our hair . . . . reminds me of Capitan Kirk on Star Trek when he discovers the alien female "show me your ways. . . then I will do you!”

I'm not up to explaining anything. I feel if I know you and your ways . . . you should know about my ways (especilly since I have some Irish, Polish and Indian blood) :look: and only wrapped in this chocolate shell. Now I'm off to buy me Saint Patrick Day outfit. I'm going to be ready for the next parade.
 
IMO men are men. A white man needs to be 'down' though... because like other posters I'm not up to representing my entire race. I'm not gonna answer 86 'do black people...' questions everyday. If you haven't hung around black people enough to know the answers to ignorant questions, I am probably not going to be attracted to you.

I've dated both races. I prefer black men but I'm not going to settle for a man who isn't what I want just because he is black. And I won't rule out a wonderful man simply because he is white.
 
CatSuga said:
My entire family is like this. Once they find out my BF is white the first thing that comes out of their mouths is "dem white boy spend that money".

This disturbes me some. When me and my white males friends are out and they see a black man & white woman together they always have something negative to say. When I mention that they are out with a woman of a different race (me) the shake it off saying that I'm O.K. to be with (even suggesting that I make them look cool, what BS).
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i think you should school your fam every opportunity you get on thinking differently & seeing relationships between whites, blacks & whomever in a new way, 2006 style. I also think you should take a second look at your white male friends. What the hell makes them think they have the right to hang with you cuz yer "ok to be with" but brothers can't hang with the white girls? superiority complex....hello!!!! Also, the "yer ok to be with" comment sounds insulting. Are these guys really your friends? Seems like they rollin with you for the high fives.
 
Ebony said:
i think you should school your fam every opportunity you get on thinking differently & seeing relationships between whites, blacks & whomever in a new way, 2006 style. I also think you should take a second look at your white male friends. What the hell makes them think they have the right to hang with you cuz yer "ok to be with" but brothers can't hang with the white girls? superiority complex....hello!!!! Also, the "yer ok to be with" comment sounds insulting. Are these guys really your friends? Seems like they rollin with you for the high fives.
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Good points. Hopefully they will be able to help someone else out who may be reading, but CatSuga has been gone from this board for a long time.
 
Shatani said:
is it possible that WE are a step up for the white man? i do believe so! :D
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sistas are a step up for any man, aint nothing like a strong, sexy sista. white women are too unchallenging.
 
Finding a man that loves you, repects you and that you enjoy beg with is a step up - No matter what color he is.
 
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