Is dating a white man a "step up"?

[Syrah]

Folks who subscribe to this philosophy need to take a look in the mirror.

 

[belleama]

I don't know how to say this without sounding all kindsof confusing but I'll try anyway...

No man should be considered a step up for any woman however a woman should always date up.

Hey! I did say it would sound all kindsof confusing.

 

[DayStar]

i think society might think it is a step up. ...i use to think white men were a step up (in the business world) because they hold the power. Sometimes i still see them as a step up because in the business world they hold the majority of the power and connections... ..no stones please

 

[HappyHairDreams]

I don't think it should be considered a "step up". But sadly, I think sometimes it is simply because statistically speaking, the average white man has more to offer and I'm not just talking about money.

 

[Valerie]

Personally, a white man, going out with you, it is step up for him, because the type of blackk women most white men want to marry are educated, professional ladies and of course very beautiful. So it is a step up for him, plus he has the added bonus of having beautiful children.

 

[Country gal]

Personally, a white man, going out with you, it is step up for him, because the type of blackk women most white men want to marry are educated, professional ladies and of course very beautiful. So it is a step up for him, plus he has the added bonus of having beautiful children.

So having a baby by someone white guarantees the child will be beautiful? Can I say Rayne Pryor?

 

[belleama]

So having a baby by someone white guarantees the child will be beautiful? Can I say Rayne Pryor?

Sounded to me like she was saying the opposite. I thought she was saying that by being with a black woman a white man is getting a step up AND beautiful children, because they'd be black.

Atleast thats the way I took it.

 

[january noir]

So having a baby by someone white guarantees the child will be beautiful? Can I say Rayne Pryor?

Po' Rayne. She gets it all the time!

OT a bit...

I had 2 friends who are both biracial (Black & Caucasian) and EXTREMELY beautiful individuals physically; they dated for years and then married and had children. EVERYONE in town was talking about how gorgeous the kids would be. Well, one day, several years later I happened to see their children (3 to be exact) and :covereyes.

They were not cute by a MILE! Really unattractive children.

The moral of this story is - NOTHING, and I mean NOTHING, in this life is guaranteed except Death.

I have seen this thread get bumped so many times and just wanted to chime in here.

I am a LEAP up for my SO and he knows it!!!!

 

[Country gal]

Po' Rayne. She gets it all the time!

OT a bit...

I had 2 friends who are both biracial (Black & Caucasian) and EXTREMELY beautiful individuals physically; they dated for years and then married and had children. EVERYONE in town was talking about how gorgeous the kids would be. Well, one day, several years later I happened to see their children (3 to be exact) and :covereyes.

They were not cute by a MILE! Really unattractive children.

The moral of this story is - NOTHING, and I mean NOTHING, in this life is guaranteed except Death.

I have seen this thread get bumped so many times and just wanted to chime in here.

I am a LEAP up for my SO and he knows it!!!!

You get my point. Even two nice looking people can have a ***** child. There are some beautiful biracial children but there are some ***** ones too. So my point is you have beautiful and ugly in every race, shade and gender. It just sounded like the color struck comments from my youth, where folks felt if you had a mixed baby they would come out with a beautiful face and hair. It is sad when you see men going for women based on hair and their gene may be the predominant one.

 

[Blossssom]

....................................

 

[Kalani]

Sounded to me like she was saying the opposite. I thought she was saying that by being with a black woman a white man is getting a step up AND beautiful children, because they'd be black.

Atleast thats the way I took it.

Thats the way I took it too. She didn't say the woman would get the benefit of the beautiful children rather the white man gets the benefit of having children from a black mother.

 

[beautifulisaunderstatment]

I live in a major southern city. When a very pretty coworker of mines started dating a white guy, people felt it was a step down. When you see white women with black men she is either really dumb trash or a thief stealing good black men. When you see an unattractive black woman with a white man its acceptble. A step up for her and a pat on the back for him, he must love her for her.

 

[MD_Lady]

Given that so many black women seem to "resort" to dating white men as a result of their frustrations with black men, I'd say many feel that dating interracially is a reflection of settling and a step down. IMO, a man is a man, but that's just me...

 

[Aviah]

Depends on the white man you date, and who you were with before. Otherwise "Amor tiene no color" or "Love has no color"

 

[mrsthiggy]

Listen Ladies! Men are Men ... no matter what race. The same rules apply. "Be a Lady" like Mama said and let time reveal the true character of the man.

 

[carcajada]

Given that so many black women seem to "resort" to dating white men as a result of their frustrations with black men, I'd say many feel that dating interracially is a reflection of settling and a step down. IMO, a man is a man, but that's just me...

Exactly! It's more of "well, I still would like to date a black man, but XYZ reasons are why I can't, so now I'll look for a white guy." Hope the white guy doesn't know he's second or third pick. erplexed

 

[biancaelyse]

I have been blessed to be happily married to an intelligent, educated and loving black man for several years.

He is my mate,, lover and best friend.

I would never say that marrying a person is a step up or a step down solely based on their color.

It has to do with the whole package that encompases that person and all that they can positively contribute to the relationship.

 

[bgsix]

Listen Ladies! Men are Men ... no matter what race. The same rules apply. "Be a Lady" like Mama said and let time reveal the true character of the man.

PREACH!!! Ladies don't be fooled.

 

[Valerie]

Given that so many black women seem to "resort" to dating white men as a result of their frustrations with black men, I'd say many feel that dating interracially is a reflection of settling and a step down. IMO, a man is a man, but that's just me...

I hope that woman dates a man, because he is attractive in looks, ways, manners, actions and kindness and you are attracted to him. Forget about the statistics, there are decent black men available if you are attracted to black men. I wish some women would be more honest with themselves instead of dating a white man because of frustrations with black men.

 

[cieramichele]

.........
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[UmSumayyah]

Exactly! It's more of "well, I still would like to date a black man, but XYZ reasons are why I can't, so now I'll look for a white guy." Hope the white guy doesn't know he's second or third pick. erplexed

For real though.

 

[robot.]

do you mean white man as... 'european' or 'american'?

the guy i'm seeing now is Russian, but i wouldn't say he's a 'step up' from my ex, who was Nigerian. both of them are great, great men and i have a lot of love and respect for both of them. and even if we weren't dealing with race, it still wouldn't be a step up because they both treat me with the utmost respect and courtesy.

 

[HeyItsHoney]

I met a man who was handsome, tall, treated me like a lady, made me laugh, always put me first, didn't lie, was always on time, went to work everyday, loved his mama, appreciated me, courted me, and didn't try to grab the booty on the first date. I married him 6 months after we met, and we've been married 4 years now. I am the happiest I've ever been. He is truly my best friend and he loves me and our daughter to death.

These were traits I saw in him as a person. Just so happens he is white. My "norm" was black men, but that's only because that's who would approach me. My DH is not rich, does not have a perfect FICO score, and did not go to college. He is down to earth, laid back, and not (dare I say it) your "typical" white guy.

I say its a step up, because I am happy.

 

[jamiss]

................

 

[HeyItsHoney]

1. If a man wants me, I never have to wonder where he is, or if he will call.
2. If a man is into me, he will do anything he has to do to make time for me.
3. If a man wants to be with me, I will know, I won't have to question him because he will show it with his actions.

Truer words were never spoken!

 

[LaPetiteCoquette]

Exactly! It's more of "well, I still would like to date a black man, but XYZ reasons are why I can't, so now I'll look for a white guy." Hope the white guy doesn't know he's second or third pick. erplexed

I have been blessed to be happily married to an intelligent, educated and loving black man for several years.

He is my mate,, lover and best friend.

I would never say that marrying a person is a step up or a step down solely based on their color.

It has to do with the whole package that encompases that person and all that they can positively contribute to the relationship.

ITA with this. I feel the same way about my husband -- blessed to be with him and I will shout that to the high hills. If I happened to marry white or any other, he would have been the same type of man that my DH is his colour would have just been different. (I had a lot of things that I needed and wanted and he had all that AND happened to be black too ). But, I truly think it's kind of sad to assume that white it a step up, just b/c he is white.

 

[blkbeauty]

How are these relationships viewed in your neck of the woods.

The complete opposite!

 

[ms*x]

But Latinos don't look like black people though.

you must not travel much. my husband is a black puertoriqueno. there are black mexicans, cubans, dominicans, etc. black people are everywhere in latin america - the slave ships didn't make just one stop.

 

[butterfly_wings]

Oh please!!! are we on this again!!!!!

 

[doll-baby]

This is interesting, In my circle of friends I do not think that we view dating a white man as a step up. However there is the notion among some black men that dating a woman outside their race is a step up (look at any music video/ young berg).