Is dating a white man a "step up"?

Is choosing a white man a "step up" for black women?

  • Yay. White man got that paper.

    Votes: 44 6.2%

  • Who ever answered the above needs to be banned.

    Votes: 126 17.6%

  • No: All men are equal.

    Votes: 426 59.7%

  • No: No man is better than a black man.

    Votes: 104 14.6%

  • N/A: I like women.

    Votes: 14 2.0%
  • Total voters
    714
So I just got hired for this Pharmacy Specialist position and as I was going to sign my HPAA laws and all that paper work business I met this white man. I was looking dapper if I must say myself. He asked me if I was a rep and I said no then we got in the elevator together. He said 4th floor and I asked him if he was a rep and he said yea so I said Oh are you going to endoscopy the man tells me yes and to his surprise that is my mothers department. So when I told him she worked there he was very shocked since my mother looks too young to have a 21 year old. Well he ended up putting his bit in my telling me he is the manager of the Boston Scientific Reps for the whole hospital which mean CHING CHING... Well when he gets to the Department home boy tells my mother in front of all or her coworkers, doctors and all that he just met Freda. My mother said the way he said my name she thought I went to school with him or something then he went on about how she has the most beautiful daughter ever and I carry myself with such grace and what not.

Well my thing is now I'm going to be working at the hospital too meaning more interactions with him and I but I've never really been into the whole Justin Timberlake Robin Thicke thing but he was on here level. Definitely a cutie and my mother says he lives in our state too which is a plus. What is a sister to do???

White chocolate doesnt really treat my sweet tooth and I don't know about the Strawberry Milk if you feel me. They turn pink in certain areas an black men turn darker (Say Ovaltine please)
 
peacensoul said:
So I just got hired for this Pharmacy Specialist position and as I was going to sign my HPAA laws and all that paper work business I met this white man. I was looking dapper if I must say myself. He asked me if I was a rep and I said no then we got in the elevator together. He said 4th floor and I asked him if he was a rep and he said yea so I said Oh are you going to endoscopy the man tells me yes and to his surprise that is my mothers department. So when I told him she worked there he was very shocked since my mother looks too young to have a 21 year old. Well he ended up putting his bit in my telling me he is the manager of the Boston Scientific Reps for the whole hospital which mean CHING CHING... Well when he gets to the Department home boy tells my mother in front of all or her coworkers, doctors and all that he just met Freda. My mother said the way he said my name she thought I went to school with him or something then he went on about how she has the most beautiful daughter ever and I carry myself with such grace and what not.

Well my thing is now I'm going to be working at the hospital too meaning more interactions with him and I but I've never really been into the whole Justin Timberlake Robin Thicke thing but he was on here level. Definitely a cutie and my mother says he lives in our state too which is a plus. What is a sister to do???

White chocolate doesnt really treat my sweet tooth and I don't know about the Strawberry Milk if you feel me. They turn pink in certain areas an black men turn darker (Say Ovaltine please)
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I'd be more concerned whether or not it hits your "spot" when you turn the lights off :eyebrows2
 
Shatani said:
is it possible that WE are a step up for the white man? i do believe so! :D
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PREACH!! I hear white men all the time talking about how beautiful black women are, but I think they may be intimidated by us. My sister just called me today and told me her husbands white police officer co-workers were talking about how attractive she is, and how they love black women, we were crackin up at some of the things they said. Anyways, I agree with you, I feel like we are a step up for the white man.
 
Blossssom said:
It's very disturbing...

I remember a similar situation at a previous job.

A white woman began working there and all the white people were "cool with her". Her husband came to pick her up from work one day (he was black), and the next day the whites barely said a word to her.

This "stepping up" nonsense is just another manifestation of the total and complete brainwashing of the "people of color".

Asians consider it a "step up" if one of their own marry a white person. Of course, for them, it's not enough to marry any old white person. It has to be a cultured, successful white person. This especially applies for Asian women to marry a white man with money.

A lot of black people who embrace "stepping up" are just HAPPY if one of them marry anybody white. Just be white!

However, as we move deeper into the 21st century, the criteria for "stepping up" has changed. In about 50 years, marrying a white person will be considered "stepping down", since they won't be running this country!

If you want to "step up", you better step to a person of Latin/Hispanic descent. I may be wrong, but it would appear the white man's reign of terror is heading toward an abrupt HALT!

I see a lot of white women in my almost lilly-white surburbia "hooking up" with Mexicans, and these white women are not the reject white women who couldn't get an upscale white man, either. Even white women see that there is a slow "changing of of the guard" in America.
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I think the step up will be to be with a Black Woman! As for who's going to run things in this country, don't let numbers fool ya. How long did aparthied go on with millions of black africans about being dictated to by minority whites. It didn't change until the "outsiders" started making a big deal about it.

Let's not forget that it was the Portuguese (Spanish) who started the enslavement of Black Africans. The English (whites) merely pirated one of their slave ships to begin their trade. Point being, neither will be an alley to the black community. I'm not ready to give up my potiential reign of power as a Black Woman. LOL!

Oh and to the OP, I would definitely step away from such "friends" that merely regard me as a way of making them look cool. So, basically you're an object to be brought out to enhance them in being cool or hip. Geesh!
 
cabellera said:
I think the step up will be to be with a Black Woman! As for who's going to run things in this country, don't let numbers fool ya. How long did aparthied go on with millions of black africans about being dictated to by minority whites. It didn't change until the "outsiders" started making a big deal about it.

Let's not forget that it was the Portuguese (Spanish) who started the enslavement of Black Africans. The English (whites) merely pirated one of their slave ships to begin their trade. Point being, neither will be an alley to the black community. I'm not ready to give up my potiential reign of power as a Black Woman. LOL!

Oh and to the OP, I would definitely step away from such "friends" that merely regard me as a way of making them look cool. So, basically you're an object to be brought out to enhance them in being cool or hip. Geesh!
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I like the sound of that!:dinner:
 
I definitely don’t think dating a white man is a “step up,” but many of my non-black, non-white friends believe this. They have told me they don’t understand why Black women are so resistant to dating non-Black men, especially White men. Most believe that having a white man on your arm is a status symbol. I personally believe that Black women (stereotypically) don’t see it this way b/c of our ratio disparity (between Black men and women). I think that in our community, the Black woman that landed that “good, black man” (Read: Working, not in jail, not 50 baby mamas, etc.—maybe educated and attractive) is thought of as having hit the “jackpot.” And I think SOME (not me, but some) Black women think that BW that married/dated non-Black men did so out of lack of options. I personally do not agree with the last sentence, but I think this sentiment exists more in our community than in others!
 
cocoberry10 said:
I definitely don’t think dating a white man is a “step up,” but many of my non-black, non-white friends believe this. They have told me they don’t understand why Black women are so resistant to dating non-Black men, especially White men. Most believe that having a white man on your arm is a status symbol. I personally believe that Black women (stereotypically) don’t see it this way b/c of our ratio disparity (between Black men and women). I think that in our community, the Black woman that landed that “good, black man” (Read: Working, not in jail, not 50 baby mamas, etc.—maybe educated and attractive) is thought of as having hit the “jackpot.” And I think SOME (not me, but some) Black women think that BW that married/dated non-Black men did so out of lack of options. I personally do not agree with the last sentence, but I think this sentiment exists more in our community than in others!
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I might be repeating myself (haven't reviewed the thread)
but yes.:yep: Other groups Asians, Latinas etc. seem to be more open to white men than AA women. My experience has been that the GBM is still the big prize. White men were always kinda like 'also-ran', maybe this is changing. My family is mixed, my grandparents are really cool, some of my uncles are :rolleyes: about my husband...many of my cousins are with asians, whites, latinos etc. so they can't really say jack.

Two of my cousins married black Jamaican men and some of my family was grumbling & gossip about that too.

sheesh...There's no pleasing Negroes. j/k:grin:
 
kaybeegee said:
I might be repeating myself (haven't reviewed the thread)
but yes.:yep: Other groups Asians, Latinas etc. seem to be more open to white men than AA women. My experience has been that the GBM is still the big prize. White men were always kinda like 'also-ran', maybe this is changing. My family is mixed, my grandparents are really cool, some of my uncles are :rolleyes: about my husband...many of my cousins are with asians, whites, latinos etc. so they can't really say jack.

Two of my cousins married black Jamaican men and some of my family was grumbling & gossip about that too.

sheesh...There's no pleasing Negroes. j/k:grin:
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I am a firm belliever of what I bolded in your quote kaybeegee!

The point being that each person has to do what pleases them or fits their situation and heart without worrying (or try not worrying) about OTHER people. I stopped that mess A LOONNNNNNGGGGG time ago.

My SO is caucasian and when we got together, it had nothing to do with his color, it had EVERYTHING to do with his approach, our compatibility and how well we get along. I fell for each other because who we are on the inside, not on the outside.

OT Your little baby girl is going to be a HEARTBREAKER! :yep:
 
View Poll Results: Is choosing a white man a "step up" for black women? Yay. White man got that paper.
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347.19%Who ever answered the above needs to be banned.
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7616.07%No: All men are equal.
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28359.83%No: No man is better than a black man.
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6914.59%N/A: I like women.
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112.33%Voters: 473.

This is a joke right ^
 
CatSuga said:
In the south, when a white women marries/dates/procreates with a black man, the black and white community views it as a step down.
I've seen this type of behavior at work. We had a young white girl who started working her. All of the white folk commented on how pretty she was and blah blah blah. After she showed everyone pictures of her children, the white folk started acting funny. :( Instead of "awwww your kids are so cute" they frowned at her in disgust after realizing that her kids are 1/2 black.

Yet, let me be out with a white man. Other YTs will walk up and give him a high five.......WTF???? Everyone assumes that this white man must be
*rich
*cool with black folks
*has a big penis
My entire family is like this. Once they find out my BF is white the first thing that comes out of their mouths is "dem white boy spend that money".

This disturbes me some. When me and my white males friends are out and they see a black man & white woman together they always have something negative to say. When I mention that they are out with a woman of a different race (me) the shake it off saying that I'm O.K. to be with (even suggesting that I make them look cool, what BS).

How are these relationships viewed in your neck of the woods.
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First off, any black woman who believes marrying a white man is a "step up" agrees that her own race is inferior compared to whites.

In Toronto, you will see many many interracial couples. We live in a very multicultural city so it's pretty normal. However there are some people who will give the occasional screw face (usually in the predominantly black 'hoods) or the occasional stare from white folk. I personally dislike black women who act stush (aka booshie) because they're with a white man:nono:. Get over yourself. I remember a story of a woman walking in with her white man, asking for black white pepper at Subway:lachen:.

As its preferred in the black community to see black on black love - I say do you. Love is love.
 
EssentialGrowth said:
To answer the orginal question posed:

YES, in some cases dating a white man is a "step up", depending on his social status. I find most black women out there are dating, or are married to the white man who looks white on the outside, but tries his hardest to "act black" and talk ebonics, and then there are those black women who date white men who are middle class Democrats, coming from an Italian, Russian or Jewish family.


RARELY do I see black women dating the upperclass, WASPY-white-collar, golf-playing Republican-Brooks Brothers type doctor/lawyer/business man/CEO or Wall Street mogul making the big bucks.


Why is this the case? Can we go only so far when it comes to dating and marrying white men of a certain caliber? Are all white men attainable, no matter what their socioeconomic status, or political viewpoints? Can you honestly see yourself dating a white-collar Republican despite your contrasting views, lets say, on the race issues of this country ?


ETA: If it was ever the case of seeing a black woman with the type of white man that was aforementioned, for the most part it is a black woman who can easily assimilate into the white American culture when it comes to political and social viewpoints, her educational background, and of course her physical appearance.....similar to Condelezza Rice, only lighter-skinned.
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I would not let either of these type of white guys touch me with a 10 foot pole. :nono:
 
JenFleets said:
I would not let either of these type of white guys touch me with a 10 foot pole. :nono:
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I think sometimes we have really bad misconceptions about people. Not everyone who wears BB and is a stockbroker is racist and republican. (BTW, I have no idea what your particular views are so this is not an attack. What you said just made me think about this.) Sometimes we as black people can be really judgemental and it is sad because society has been judging us forever.

One example: I work for a very progressive political firm. Everyone is a hippie at heart and most people came from poorer backgrounds and have a disdain for the rich (whether they admit it or not). My SO came to meet up with some people from work at an after-work social. He is a trader on wall street. Immediately people had a horrible perception of him, I could tell. We had a bad waiter and they were all complaining. When my SO came, he was also complaining. All of a sudden people get quiet and start making excuses for the waitress.

So the next day this one particular co-worker tried to bring up my boyfriend then proceeded to say he was a jack-ass and said that his attitude showed that he thought he expected the world. I'm like 'weren't all of you complaining just the same?' But since a guy who makes 6 figures complains, he is acting like he is holier than thou?

Anyway, my main point is: Black ladies, don't count out the high-society, wealthy guys of whatever race. Finances don't dictate racial feelings. Get to know a person for who they are and do not judge. Hey, if you can find a guy who loves you, who you are attracted to, and who is compatible with you, why would you count him out because he makes 6 or 7 figures per year?! Hey, that should be a bonus!!
 
EssentialGrowth said:
To answer the orginal question posed:

YES, in some cases dating a white man is a "step up", depending on his social status. I find most black women out there are dating, or are married to the white man who looks white on the outside, but tries his hardest to "act black" and talk ebonics, and then there are those black women who date white men who are middle class Democrats, coming from an Italian, Russian or Jewish family.


RARELY do I see black women dating the upperclass, WASPY-white-collar, golf-playing Republican-Brooks Brothers type doctor/lawyer/business man/CEO or Wall Street mogul making the big bucks.


Why is this the case? Can we go only so far when it comes to dating and marrying white men of a certain caliber? Are all white men attainable, no matter what their socioeconomic status, or political viewpoints? Can you honestly see yourself dating a white-collar Republican despite your contrasting views, lets say, on the race issues of this country ?


ETA: If it was ever the case of seeing a black woman with the type of white man that was aforementioned, for the most part it is a black woman who can easily assimilate into the white American culture when it comes to political and social viewpoints, her educational background, and of course her physical appearance.....similar to Condelezza Rice, only lighter-skinned.
Click to expand...


I have to disagree. My man isn't white, he is actually of mixed descent. Indian and Mexican. But he grew up upper-middle class (at least in the later part of his childhood) and I did NOT, yet he does not clash with me on racial or political issues. I don't blend into white culture. Most of my friends are black and his best friend is black. We accept all cultures and think that it is hypocritical to expect society to be accepting, yet be so prejudice towards so many sectors of the white community (particularly those in the higher socio-economic class).
 
princessnad said:
I think sometimes we have really bad misconceptions about people. Not everyone who wears BB and is a stockbroker is racist and republican. (BTW, I have no idea what your particular views are so this is not an attack. What you said just made me think about this.) Sometimes we as black people can be really judgemental and it is sad because society has been judging us forever.

One example: I work for a very progressive political firm. Everyone is a hippie at heart and most people came from poorer backgrounds and have a disdain for the rich (whether they admit it or not). My SO came to meet up with some people from work at an after-work social. He is a trader on wall street. Immediately people had a horrible perception of him, I could tell. We had a bad waiter and they were all complaining. When my SO came, he was also complaining. All of a sudden people get quiet and start making excuses for the waitress.

So the next day this one particular co-worker tried to bring up my boyfriend then proceeded to say he was a jack-ass and said that his attitude showed that he thought he expected the world. I'm like 'weren't all of you complaining just the same?' But since a guy who makes 6 figures complains, he is acting like he is holier than thou?

Anyway, my main point is: Black ladies, don't count out the high-society, wealthy guys of whatever race. Finances don't dictate racial feelings. Get to know a person for who they are and do not judge. Hey, if you can find a guy who loves you, who you are attracted to, and who is compatible with you, why would you count him out because he makes 6 or 7 figures per year?! Hey, that should be a bonus!!
Click to expand...

Hello!?:think:
ITA! :yep:

Amazing that this thread is still chuggin' along...I've been gone forever and yar it 'tis.:drunk::lol:
 
princessnad said:
I think sometimes we have really bad misconceptions about people. Not everyone who wears BB and is a stockbroker is racist and republican. (BTW, I have no idea what your particular views are so this is not an attack. What you said just made me think about this.) Sometimes we as black people can be really judgemental and it is sad because society has been judging us forever.

One example: I work for a very progressive political firm. Everyone is a hippie at heart and most people came from poorer backgrounds and have a disdain for the rich (whether they admit it or not). My SO came to meet up with some people from work at an after-work social. He is a trader on wall street. Immediately people had a horrible perception of him, I could tell. We had a bad waiter and they were all complaining. When my SO came, he was also complaining. All of a sudden people get quiet and start making excuses for the waitress.

So the next day this one particular co-worker tried to bring up my boyfriend then proceeded to say he was a jack-ass and said that his attitude showed that he thought he expected the world. I'm like 'weren't all of you complaining just the same?' But since a guy who makes 6 figures complains, he is acting like he is holier than thou?

Anyway, my main point is: Black ladies, don't count out the high-society, wealthy guys of whatever race. Finances don't dictate racial feelings. Get to know a person for who they are and do not judge. Hey, if you can find a guy who loves you, who you are attracted to, and who is compatible with you, why would you count him out because he makes 6 or 7 figures per year?! Hey, that should be a bonus!!
Click to expand...

I completely agree.

When I'm out and about, MOST of the white men who hit on me are investment bankers, lawyers, and corporate types (um, however, keep in mind that I work part time in Midtown New York, so these kinds of guys are EVERYWHERE).

Also, I've seen a number of Black women here in New York who are married to upper class White guys. A number of them have been married for a significant amount of time.

Racism can be found at all socioeconomic levels. Open minds and hearts can also be found at all socioeconomic levels. Get to know someone to figure out what's what.

As far as someone being a "step up"...being with someone who loves you for you and with all their heart (and you feel the same way too) is ALWAYS a step above anything and everything else.
 
I am really suprised at some of the votes.

To state that dating a white man is step up is stating that dating YOU as a black woman is a step down. Get yourself together 37. :sad:

If dating someone makes you one "up" then you just....got issues.
 
HA, please tell it. Inferiority complexes plague our community. SMH

Te'TahHead said:
I am really suprised at some of the votes.

To state that dating a white man is step up is stating that dating YOU as a black woman is a step down. Get yourself together 37. :sad:

If dating someone makes you one "up" then you just....got issues.
Click to expand...



True but that was not the context in which step up was being discussed here.

NYLegalNewbie said:
As far as someone being a "step up"...being with someone who loves you for you and with all their heart (and you feel the same way too) is ALWAYS a step above anything and everything else.
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Last edited:
1. For those of ya'll that don't know, this is a Catsuga thread and as such was meant to bring the ruckus. May her font RIP. :pray:

2. Before you get all swole up, just look at the first two poll choices and take a wild guess as to how seriously this thread was meant to be taken.

3. I would drink the fictional bathwater of the white man in my siggy.

Carry on
 
^^ I agree with JC and would look to change my answer too;
Yes having a white DH not only elevated my social status but also *enlightened* me(pun intened) spiritually.
After all Jesus was blond and blue eyed and being with a blond,blue eyed man brings me closer to Jesus:yep:

Lol J/k:lachen:
I still stand by what I said before9what I think I said b/c I'm not searching for my post) DO YOU.
If a yellow,black,green,white,purple man treats you right go ahead and enjoy it to the fullest
Every man can call himself lucky to be with a beautiful,intelligent black woman:yep:
 
ella said:
^^ I agree with JC and would look to change my answer too;
Yes having a white DH not only elevated my social status but also *enlightened* me(pun intened) spiritually.
After all Jesus was blond and blue eyed and being with a blond,blue eyed man brings me closer to Jesus:yep:

Lol J/k:lachen:
I still stand by what I said before9what I think I said b/c I'm not searching for my post) DO YOU.
If a yellow,black,green,white,purple man treats you right go ahead and enjoy it to the fullest, Every man can call himself lucky to be with a beautiful,intelligent black woman:yep:
Click to expand...




...And that’s it in a Nut shell!


I just wish all beautiful, intelligent black women could TRULY believe this
 
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