Interracial Dating or Marriage

Interracial Dating? Yay or Nay?

  • Yay

    Votes: 510 70.4%

  • Nay

    Votes: 48 6.6%

  • Indifferent

    Votes: 154 21.3%

  • ARE YOU CRAZY??

    Votes: 12 1.7%
  • Total voters
    724
I'm all for it, so long as two are right for each other and are good to each other. I've dated across the board. There are good men of every ethnicity, and there are losers of every ethnicity.

My hubby's white. We met 11 years ago, and we both kept running into each other for 6 years - it was always very brief. ANY and EVERYwhere! Almost 4 years ago, we decided to stay in touch because we kept getting freaked out with how God kept putting us in the same space.

We started hanging out and quickly became best friends. We were engaged shortly (like under 30 days) after moving in together. We have similar family values, ideas about child-rearing, and have the same respect for family, friends & even strangers. He's the ish... he refers to me as his queen. He da man.
 
I used to care especially when I saw black men with white women. Now , I don't even care - each one love one. Who cares?
 
MuseofTroy said:
Instead of getting caught up in one’s skin color, look at the individual’s character and how they treat you. Differences are what make relationships interesting. I learned so much about myself from dating men outside of my race. As a result of that I also have a lot of pride in being a black woman.
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This is a very beautiful and articulate way of putting it.
 
classimami713 said:
For the people who dated outside their race, how did it come about? Were y'all just friends and it happened? Did you meet each other in school? Or did you place yourself in certain situations or places (say a hangout where mostly white guys would go).

I'm extremely curious about how to get out there and let guys of other races know that I'm,er, "down." :look:

:lol:
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I just assume is every man is "down" unless they tell me otherwise :grin: . Seriously, it just like when someone of your own race likes you. You just know it :) . I wish I could explain it better, but I can't think of any obvious clues that would tip you off. I met my husband at birthday party for a mutual friend. He was here on vacation from England. We were engaged in 2 months, and married in 4 months. We have 1 child (a daughter), and we will be celebrating our 13th wedding anniversary this summer :D . My parents don't care and his parents in England have always treated me like daughter. So, yes, I guess my answer is 'yay' :) .
 
My bf and I met in school. We had class together. I liked him but knew this other girl liked him too. I didn't do anything because I figured he'd go for her because she was of the same race as him. I still kinda flirted and he flirted back, and we ended up together. I was afraid to make the first move because I was afraid that he'd turn me down for a race-issue and I wasn't ready to deal with that. It turned out great though. I'm the first black girl he's been with.
 
My girlfriend married a white man and she said she WANTED To marry a black man but she kept getting dogged otu by the black men she was attracted to and dating. When he asked her out she went out with him and thought nothing of it and did not think it was going anywhere. At that time he told her HE was going to marry her and of course she blew him off.

Well they are now married for over 10 years.
 
Originally Posted by classimami713
For the people who dated outside their race, how did it come about? Were y'all just friends and it happened? Did you meet each other in school? Or did you place yourself in certain situations or places (say a hangout where mostly white guys would go).

I'm extremely curious about how to get out there and let guys of other races know that I'm,er, "down."
Click to expand...

I've met guys all sorts of ways. Some were friends or classmates or co-workers. I met my dh through the personals. There's only one way to let a guy know you're 'down' and its the same regardless of race. You make eye contact, smile and give him a 'come hither' look. Works pretty much regardless of race. Fortunately, men are generally ego-centered. If you let him know you're interested, he'll take it from there. I think a lot of black women miss obvious flirtations from white men, because they do tend to be more subtle than black men. But white guys, IMO are some of the most flirtatious guys on the planet. I'm not sure why, but many seem to enjoy flirting with black women. So start paying attention. You'll notice it too.
 
I have had several IRs in my life. I am currently dating a white man for the past month who is 7 years younger than me and we are having the time of our lives! :D .

We are very compatible and like MANY of the same things. My friend from work (who is white) invited me to a party she and her husband were giving and that is where I met him. He is her husband's best friend. It was almost an instaneous attraction (i.e. chemistry) and we've been kicking it ever since.

I do love Black men and would have preferred to date/marry one, but the brothers I've met and been involved with just don't make "me" a priority. They can't seem to multitask! :lol: I got tired of being disappointed and let down (missing birthdays, no recognition of Valentines Day, not calling, disliking the things that I was interested in, etc.)

My late mother used to always say "love who loves and honors you and treats you like a Queen." My current beau does just that! He keeps surprising me with the "little" things and "big" shows that melt my heart and keep me interested in him. For instance - he overheard a conversation in which I stated I love the color pink. For my birthday, he gave me pink roses that had sparkles dusted on the lips of each rose. He places big, fluffy pink towels in his bathroom for me when I am visiting. He remembered a conversation wherein I mentioned I liked Pinot Noir wine and now he keeps Pinot Noir stocked in his wine cellar. I love champagne as well and he keeps a bottle of MOET chilling in the fridge. Now, ladies, come on...this is the stuff that romance is DEFINITELY made of! :p


It's still early in the relationship, but based on how we are together now, I would marry him in a heart beat! :)

I think the key for ANY relationship is COMPATIBILITY no matter what color your SO is.
 
January Noir, your post sums up my comments exactly!!

Only we have a wider age gap but I've never been happier! :love:
 
VWVixxen said:
January Noir, your post sums up my comments exactly!!

Only we have a wider age gap but I've never been happier! :love:
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Hi VWVixxen! Congrats on you marriage. May your life together be HEAVENLY! There is nothing like feeling/knowing you are loved...:p
 
No problems here my hubby is white. his family was challenged in the beginning. But 7 years later they see I really love Mike and they acknowledge that I am a good mother, so we kewl.

I never tried to gain their approval, I mean I was never rude to them, I just didn't go out of my to do anything special. I was myself. I figured if my Race is all you are going to judge me on, then there is nothing else I need to do but be me. You already decided you don't like me. nothing more for me to do.

I must confess it really helped that my first son was born looking like my husbands twin. White skin, blue eyes, bone straight blonde hair, it's as if I had nothing to do with his birth. like I was a surrogate mother for some white lady. LOL

The only bad thing is I can't beat my son in public, I know white folks would be on the phone telling the police that the nanny is beating the kids.

later
Onyx
 
I'm engaged to a white guy, I have been for a year and a half already. We haven't had any racial problems I can think of. He dated an Indian girl before me I think. Hm... his father hasn't met many black people and he once asked me if black people's hair texture changed from the 70s to now because a lot of black people wore Afros. :lol: He as heavily drunk at the time, maybe that had something to do with it.

Most of our misunderstandings come from talking online and cultural differences (he lives in England and I live in the US).
 
I believe I am with the Man God made for me. I was 27 when we got married (if anyone ask I am 25 plus tax:grin: ) Anyway, I wasn't living under rock if I was meant to be with a brotha I would have been. I think we make a big mistake by trying to limit ourselves to one Group of people. God's plan for you might be an Asian man!:eek: Just a thought. I do know I am happily married, my husband and I talk about everything, and oh yeah my husband does the dishes, the laundry, baths the kids, and cooks!!!
My job, be sexy, it's a fulltime position LOL:grin:
 
BlkOnyx488 said:
I believe I am with the Man God made for me. I was 27 when we got married (if anyone ask I am 25 plus tax:grin: ) Anyway, I wasn't living under rock if I was meant to be with a brotha I would have been. I think we make a big mistake by trying to limit ourselves to one Group of people. God's plan for you might be an Asian man!:eek: Just a thought. I do know I am happily married, my husband and I talk about everything, and oh yeah my husband does the dishes, the laundry, baths the kids, and cooks!!!
My job, be sexy, it's a fulltime position LOL:grin:
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I wish that was the case,(more or less the one in my siggy) or my best friend... i'd be eternally happy. Oh.... what i wouldn't give to be with Michael Copon....:yep::drool::rofl:
 
I think interracial dating is fine. Most of us (if not all) come from different cultural backgrounds and I think it's great that people connect from all aspects of the human spectrum.
 
Just the other day a (white) female colleague comes up to me and says, "I really want to ask you something, but I don't want you to get offended." She kept saying over and over again that she didn't want to offend me. So, I'm thinking 'Okay, she's getting ready to ask me something about my hair (I had on a wig).' :look: So I said, "Go ahead...what is it?" She says, "Well, are you into dating men outsided of your race? Because I know this really cute white guy that I think would be good for you." I'm like, wow...that's it? Interracial relationships are not a big deal to me. As long as the guy isn't trying to perpetrate another ethnicity I'm fine with it. So I told her as long as he's a "white" white guy and NOT one trying to be ethnic, I might be interested. She said he was normal and met some other requirements, so I agreed to meet him.

I still don't get why she thought I'd be offended??? :perplexed
 
Because some black women will cut you for daring to question their unwavering, absolute requirement for a black man. It happens. Maybe last time she tried to hook a friend up she got hostility. :ohwell:
 
UmSumayyah said:
Because some black women will cut you for daring to question their unwavering, absolute requirement for a black man. It happens. Maybe last time she tried to hook a friend up she got hostility. :ohwell:
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She thought you were going to do this::lachen::lachen::lachen::lachen::lachen:
0011Lion-Buff%20Kill%20CUp.jpg
 
UmSumayyah said:
Because some black women will cut you for daring to question their unwavering, absolute requirement for a black man. It happens. Maybe last time she tried to hook a friend up she got hostility. :ohwell:
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Hmmm...maybe so? I think I'm going to ask her about it today just for kicks. It'd be interesting to find out if she was nervous because of a previous situation, or if she was just making assumptions.....
 
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