Interracial Dating or Marriage

Interracial Dating? Yay or Nay?

  • Yay

    Votes: 510 70.4%

  • Nay

    Votes: 48 6.6%

  • Indifferent

    Votes: 154 21.3%

  • ARE YOU CRAZY??

    Votes: 12 1.7%
  • Total voters
    724
I used to be 100% against interracial dating. However, my eyes have been more opened to it. I would get so upset when I saw Black men selecting everything but Black women, especially when some of those guys would hate on Black women to their non-Black significant others.

I grew up in a mostly white community, but I have never dated outside the race. I am still in my early 20's, and now I just ask God to pair me with someone who will love me, and truly be a blessing and a compliment to me (and me to them). If that person is Black, great. If he's something else, I ask God to allow my fears, others' prejudices and any insecurities/issues I have to be overcome by the love we feel for one another.

I also have more female friends who have dated outside the race. For some reason, whenever I see a Black female dating outside the race, I am secretly cheering her on (it's always been this way, even when I didn't agree with interracial dating overall). I know that's biased, and I work on loosing that bias, because it is wrong, but I have it. I guess it's because it seems that more Black females who are in interracial relationships are doing so for the right reasons (genuine interest, companionship, love); whereas it seems that many Black men who date outside the race do so for superficial reasons (trophy girlfriends/wives, submissive women, stereotypes of non-Black women). If I'm wrong, I apologize, and if I've offended anyone, I apologize. I know not all Black men in interracial relationships are doing so for the wrong reasons, but sometimes it seems that way.

In the end, people should marry who they love and the one who loves them back!
 
cocoberry10 said:
I used to be 100% against interracial dating. However, my eyes have been more opened to it. I would get so upset when I saw Black men selecting everything but Black women, especially when some of those guys would hate on Black women to their non-Black significant others.

I grew up in a mostly white community, but I have never dated outside the race. I am still in my early 20's, and now I just ask God to pair me with someone who will love me, and truly be a blessing and a compliment to me (and me to them). If that person is Black, great. If he's something else, I ask God to allow my fears, others' prejudices and any insecurities/issues I have to be overcome by the love we feel for one another.

I also have more female friends who have dated outside the race. For some reason, whenever I see a Black female dating outside the race, I am secretly cheering her on (it's always been this way, even when I didn't agree with interracial dating overall). I know that's biased, and I work on loosing that bias, because it is wrong, but I have it. I guess it's because it seems that more Black females who are in interracial relationships are doing so for the right reasons (genuine interest, companionship, love); whereas it seems that many Black men who date outside the race do so for superficial reasons (trophy girlfriends/wives, submissive women, stereotypes of non-Black women). If I'm wrong, I apologize, and if I've offended anyone, I apologize. I know not all Black men in interracial relationships are doing so for the wrong reasons, but sometimes it seems that way.

In the end, people should marry who they love and the one who loves them back!
Click to expand...

This is exactly how I've always felt. Couldn't say it any better.:D
 
My husband was the first white guy I'd dated. I was TOTALLY not into dating anyone other than a black or Creole man.

One day I actually wrote a list of everything I wanted in a man and asked God to send him to me. Well...God has a good sense of humor because he sent the man to me but in the form of a white man. I hadn't put on my list that he be black...because I assumed God would know that. LOL!

We're happy and life is good. I got over my issues and am grateful God sent me the most wonderful man in the world.
 
I'm for it definately. I'm 16, but I thank God for opening my eyes to be open to anybody with a good heart. Black, White, Puerto Rican, or Asian.

There was this guy in my class, and for some reason it was hard for him to swallow that I like guys who are White. But I think it was because he knows that he doesn't have a chance with me. haha.

My friends actually have a problem with it, The whole "What's wrong with Black girls" thing comes up but whatever.

I look at personalities.
 
I'm dating a hispanic man, and I can truly say that I have never felt more loved, and more special. He is so good to me. At first I was against interracial dating, but my eyes opened up, and I'm so glad that it did. Dont get me wrong I still love black men, but I love MY MAN even more. His mother has no problem with us dating, (she said that she has family in puerto rico thats just as dark as I am, he's a light puerto rican) and my mother loves him. And I must say that I am truly blessed to have him in my life.
 
Love is color blind. The only thing I would have to say to someone who is considering marrying someone of a different race is that they both have got to be strong. Maybe stronger than most couples, because they would inevitably encounter people who will very easy expressing their disapproval of their relationship. I actually get quite happy when I see black women with white men. The white man has always loved the black woman, but the women were often the other woman or a hidden affair from the rest of the world. Now black women are demanding the same type of respect that the white man gives the white woman.
 
My husband is mixed Italian and Panamanian but he looks caucasion. I love him dearly. He is wonderful to me and I only see us together forever.

There is a story in the bible about Moses and the fact that he married a woman from ethiopia (black woman). His sister Miriam, didn't like the fact that he married a black woman. She carried on something fierce about it.

So, God told her (i'm going to paraphrase here) "so, you don't like black skin and only like white skin huh?" so she was struck with leprosy (which turns your skin purely white). Everyone left her and didn't want to be around her because leprosy was very contagious. She found herself alone with her 'white skin' she loved so much. Moses begged God to change her skin back, and He did, for Moses sake.

God doesn't like us to be prejudice with each other and neither should we.

It's love....not color, that causes you to be happy!

Blessings.
 
I'm indifferent. I have a religious and cultural preference, rather than a racial one. My parents are from the same country but predominantly of different races. However, their religion and culture are the same. For me, that makes all the difference. It would be more of an adjustment for me to be with a man - black or white - of American background for instance, than one of a West Indian one. Sharing the same religion is required. That's just me though...
 
If I was still in the dating game I would be open to an interracial relationship with any other race besides white. Just not attracted to them at all in that way.... as for my son...ultimately I want him to date/marry whomever truly makes him happy but I would preffer him not to date white.
 
felicia said:
i'm in an interracial relationship, but sometimes im not sure if i can deal with the negativety. it only comes from his family, but i'm not sure if i'd even want to put up with that for the rest of my life. although we aren't close to marriage, we have talked about it and their disapproval does play a role in it(for me).
Click to expand...

Even in a regular relationship you can get that negativity from his family. A man's family is bad about not liking you period. I know it doesn't happen in every relationship, but a lot of relationships when you are an in-law, whether black or white, they don't like you for whatever stupid reason they can come up with.

If the two of you genuinely love one another, it will blank out how people feel about you and you go on and realize that you two are living your lives to please one another, not the folks around you.
 
Margerita said:
Even in a regular relationship you can get that negativity from his family. A man's family is bad about not liking you period. I know it doesn't happen in every relationship, but a lot of relationships when you are an in-law, whether black or white, they don't like you for whatever stupid reason they can come up with.

If the two of you genuinely love one another, it will blank out how people feel about you and you go on and realize that you two are living your lives to please one another, not the folks around you.
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Thanks for the advice!! I need to hear that every now and then because even though I'm starting to handle it better, I still have my moments where I want to through it all away.
 
I didn't vote yet. For me or other ppl?

For me? No I've dated one but I dont think I could ever take his (sexy Italian) blonde home becuase he wouldn't understand my culture. I'm haitian I dunno if he'll be able to come to Haiti w me should I go And I make so many 'white pple' comments that I could offend him.

For other people?! By all means. Just as long as thier happy and doing it for the wrong reasons like: I want my daughter to have 'good' hair. (When I heard that dumbness I was ready to curse...)
 
There are two men that I am currently interested in: one is Latin the other is caucasian. It is still too soon to know if either will turn into something lasting.
 
I think I should vote "indifferent", simply because I don't care what race someone is, if I am attracted to someone, that's it... I've been with several races, and race isn't an issue for me.
 
My husband is white. We dated for 7 years and have been married for 5. He is awesome, super intelligent, super considerate, super romantic, and super sexy. His income is pretty super as well.

He treats me like a queen and thinks I am the most beautiful woman in the world. He encourages me, yada yada yada.

Point is, don't let your fears or possible prejudices keep you from experiencing something wonderful.
 
When I was in grade school I never quite fit in. I tried, but I just didn't get the response from the guys (black) that my girlfriends were getting. This was at that age when we were starting to like boys and they were starting to like girls and everyone was popping bra straps and grabbing butts and getting their first periods and experimenting with makeup. So at that time it was a big deal if you didn't feel accepted. I didn't feel accepted.

And so, around the 8th grade I quit trying to be accepted. I gave up on the little boys who thought I was cute but couldn't admit it because I wasn't cool enough to be seen with. I also gave up on trying to fit in with cliques that wouldn't have me. And I began to explore on my own. I made new friends--girls who were sort of misfits or just not interested in the popularity game like me. I got into rock music and picked up a guitar--actually because I saw Prince perform--but it got me listening to rock music. And I decided that it would be safer and less hurtful to crush on a white guy, so I did. And that's where it all started.

I was looking for a safe way to feel normal, because until about 14 all I'd felt was rejected. I could like the white guy and he didn't have to know so there was no risk of getting my feelings hurt. It worked, sorta--there was no payoff at first tho because nothing could come of that. But when I got to college I studied classical music and spent time with bands, and I met more white guys. We shared some common interests and white guys were the only ones willing to step to me and tell me if they were interested. Black guys still liked me quietly and privately, and I'd only hear about it later, thru friends. That got old.

These days I date white guys, because I meet white guys and because white guys are the ones who are direct enough to let me know they're interested. I have a thing for long hair, thanks to my musical tastes and a few lovely men I've had the pleasure to know. I'll also date a black man, but he'd have to be accepting of where I am and what I'm into. And a lot of people who don't step outside their own environments wouldn't relate to me.

It's harder, that's for sure. I don't know if I'll get married or have kids, and it's a good thing that I'm not sure I want to. Finding someone who isn't afraid of what his family or friends will think takes time, and finding someone who's not just curious about you takes even more. But it's the same no matter what color you're dating--only the issues are different. It's hard to find a good man who's also a good match for you. So no matter what his wrapping, if you find him--TAKE HIM.
 
Word!!

My hubby is Sicilian, and my HS sweetheart, we split up for 10 years while I was in the army n everything, but we caught back up in 03 and married in 04..

he is my world and a wonderful christian man, who is thoughtful, sensitive, and hot to deaf girl :naughty: ..

I feel so blessed that I got him back, we were both almost married to other people during our apart time!! :D

carpediem628 said:
My husband is white. We dated for 7 years and have been married for 5. He is awesome, super intelligent, super considerate, super romantic, and super sexy. His income is pretty super as well.

He treats me like a queen and thinks I am the most beautiful woman in the world. He encourages me, yada yada yada.

Point is, don't let your fears or possible prejudices keep you from experiencing something wonderful.
Click to expand...
 
I think that no one's opinion should matter if you are head over heels in love with your man. By you asking your aunt and even our opinions...i doubt u love him on that level. Or maybe it's just that you are too young to think on that level. We shouldn't have to validate your love for your man. If you love him and you are TOTALLY happy then there shouldnt' be a question about if u should marry him. just my opinion... think about it carefully...

ETA: I forgot to add my personal opinion for myself. I grew up in a racist town and i could never ever ever see myself being attracted to a white guy...by the time I was 23 and grown and moved to a new town and became a christian woman...those feelings were looooong gone. Ive started eying some white guys that i thought were an attractive package. around 25ish, i've started seeing alot of my friends and black women in general go thru the ringer with dating young black men...so heck i was forced to expand my horizons cause i for darn sure ain't gonna let no sorry *** man up in my life. So it was around this time that I expanded my way of thinking and i would have HAPPILY welcomed a male of another race into my life. I was slightly curious and welcomed the opportunity. But unfortunately since i'm such a couchpotato, the opportunity came and went... but i guess the point is..you have to be mentally open to it. and i was...then i met my hubby who is black...
 
Last edited:
KhandiB.

Your little guy is sooooooo cute. I want to take him and just give him a big squeeze. He is so precious with his big, curly locks. Too gorgeous!
 
KhandiB said:
Word!!

My hubby is Sicilian, and my HS sweetheart, we split up for 10 years while I was in the army n everything, but we caught back up in 03 and married in 04..

he is my world and a wonderful christian man, who is thoughtful, sensitive, and hot to deaf girl :naughty: ..

I feel so blessed that I got him back, we were both almost married to other people during our apart time!! :D
Click to expand...


Your hubby doesn't even look Sicilian.
 
KhandiB said:
Word!!

My hubby is Sicilian, and my HS sweetheart, we split up for 10 years while I was in the army n everything, but we caught back up in 03 and married in 04..

he is my world and a wonderful christian man, who is thoughtful, sensitive, and hot to deaf girl :naughty: ..

I feel so blessed that I got him back, we were both almost married to other people during our apart time!! :D
Click to expand...
You have some cute men in your corner girl! Too precious!
 
Although I only skimmed the 18 pages in this thread, my opinion is that I think women, black women especially, should be with someone who makes her HAPPY. Regardless of the man’s color, he should love, honor, and RESPECT you. There have been so many occasions where black women are so caught up in being with a black man that they end up settling for trash. Even though my preference is black men, I keep an open mind when it comes to dating. Ironically I’ve been approached more by white men and men outside of my race than black men. From my personal experience it seems like guys outside of my race are willing to go the extra mile versus black men who have these egos since they are a hot commodity these days. Now I’m not saying I haven’t dated my share of great black men, but it seems to me that some black men, especially who are well educated and in a higher income bracket, aren’t willing to put in work to really win you over. If you have high standards like I do some of them give up in the middle of the fight and go for the chick that makes it easier to them. This doesn’t bother me though because my high expectations are used as an elimination process.

Instead of getting caught up in one’s skin color, look at the individual’s character and how they treat you. Differences are what make relationships interesting. I learned so much about myself from dating men outside of my race. As a result of that I also have a lot of pride in being a black woman.
 
i see no problem with it either. i've had crushes on guys from all differents races and i sure as hell would date them i ever got the guts to make the first move and vice versa.
 
I am all for it. It doesnt happen that often, mostly because i really dont date( 3 year olds dont lend to dating). my brother's g/f is from japan. Particularly with my generation( I am 22) it is hard for me to find a mature young black man who isnt a thug or wants to get some..... I started meeting men who were mature and they happened to be white.. i have no issue with it at all. and like to do it . I get to see all differnt walks of life this way. if i haven't experienced anything but what i know, then what do i know...
 
I am all for it. It doesnt happen that often, mostly because i really dont date( 3 year olds dont lend to dating). my brother's g/f is from japan. Particularly with my generation( I am 22) it is hard for me to find a mature young black man who isnt a thug or wants to get some..... I started meeting men who were mature and they happened to be white.. i have no issue with it at all. and like to do it . I get to see all differnt walks of life this way. if i haven't experienced anything but what i know, then what do i know...
 
I’m all for it. I love meeting new people, learning about different cultures and trying new things. Its exciting…it’s different-that’s the spice of life
 
You should just be with the person you fall in love with instead of focusing too much on ethnicity or skincolor:perplexed
 
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