Almaz
New Member
Wow they even wrote a book about it
http://www.amazon.com/Interracial-D...=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1310930046&sr=1-1
http://www.amazon.com/Interracial-D...=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1310930046&sr=1-1
Thoughts on interracial dating.
- Thread starter mischka
- Start date
10WordzOrLess
New Member
Helpful, but don't overthink it. A man is a man.
10WordzOrLess
New Member
Lots of details for some. Might get confusing for readers.
BeautifulFlower
Well-Known Member
BeautifulFlower
Well-Known Member
^^^OMG...I can pick us out in a line up. I randomly verified my results by taking the test a couple times last night and INTJ. You know INTJ females are the most rare type group, being <.5% of the population. I don't find many other INTJ females EVER for this reason.
I avoid letting my trueness out online (we are known to be masters of disguise
) but you let yours hang out there which I love and respect. Thats how I could pick up on it fairly easy.
I avoid letting my trueness out online (we are known to be masters of disguise
) but you let yours hang out there which I love and respect. Thats how I could pick up on it fairly easy.
lilanie
New Member
I have also found that white men that grow up and are heavily in black culture are some of the worst when it comes to dating. They tend to think black women want a certain thing and maybe in their experience that is true but they get a stereotype of black women in their mind and they run with it.
For example, a white guy I met at a party approached me and we exchanged numbers. The following day, he proceeded to send me (without me even hinting for it) a pic of his chest, a pic of his penis, and a video of him jerking off. He made mention of pleasing my sexually in many ways and wanted to get a hotel so we could 'hang out'.The conversation died shortly after. I was appalled and amused at the same time. I thought, what the blind he!! was he thinking, I am definitely not THAT girl and I dont even know you.
Those are what I call the early enimems/vanilla ices/mc search...
They are the WORST... its a pseudo-comfortability that is premature...
Great Thread... will be subscribing/bookmarking ~ all dat!
Crystalicequeen123
Well-Known Member
[mention=13824005] mischka [/mention]....Omg THIS is so true!
NBM are a LOT more "subtle" (I've found) in their interest in bw, or maybe just women in general. I'm talking NB American Men. NBM of other cultures/countries might be a little more forward, but NB American men??? It's more subtle. A while back I was dating a wm who is a friend of mine. I didn't even know he was interested until a friend of mine was interested in him, and I was trying to hook her up w/him. When he "caught on" to the fact that he was being "hooked up"
he eventually had to tell her that he wasn't interested in her and (to MY surprise) actually came forth and confessed to me that he was actually interested in ME! 
Otherwise...I don't think he would have EVER told me! He said that he had actually kind of liked me for 7 years but just never told me because he didn't think I would be interested in him like that.
erplexed Here I am thinking that we were just FRIENDS all this time! I had NO idea he was even interested! I mean, maybe at times there were some "signs", but they were just so subtle I never paid them any mind.....at ALL. 
I mean when I say I had no clue...I really mean, I had NO clue. Sometimes I would get this "feeling", but then I would just shrug it off thinking he's just a flirt/being friendly. I do recall him always making a point to talk to me (or tease me rather lol) about different things over the years. He would sometimes text me here and there or invite me places sporadically, but again...it wasn't like it was a constant thing, so it wasn't obvious he was interested in me over the years.
When he "confessed" and I was open to dating him, it was THEN that his "signs" became a LOT more obvious. He was my first NBM dating experience, and I would say he treated me very nicely. 
Now I'm starting to wonder just how many NBM have been interested in me and I just never noticed/knew.....
chocolat79
Well-Known Member
Yeah, as I look back on the NBM who were interested in me, but I couldn't "read the signs" because they were subtle; I missed out on a few guys, I'd say. I used to work with one guy and he'd always hint about us going out to dinner (but never formally asked) or running together (I wasn't into running back then) and whatnot. If only I had caught on, I'd have some red-haired babies by now!
NefertariBlu
Well-Known Member
Great thread!
I need your help ladies.
I have recently been made aware, through a work collegue that a guy who works at my building likes me. I'm a receptionist and in the building where I work, it is mainly wm and am. No black men at all. So I did start to notice that this particular guy has been starting convesation with me, but it's never anything to deep. Just friendly banter. It started out as just saying hello each time he passed then progressd.
So a couple of months back, he asks my co worker what my name is, bear in mind that she has been working there for 2 years and he doesn't know hers.
Then... one day he came up to the desk to talk to me. He asked me about my hair. When I started I had a fade and now I was wearing a wig. He thought my hair had grown really quickly. I laughed so hard when he was enquiring, because I thought it was really odd and he caught me off gaurd. He then says that he likes afro hair and he loves it when black women wear afro's lol.
A couple of weeks passed and he didn't really say much to me, so I decided to talk to him. He then tells me, that he was embarrassed about the question he asked and he was surprised that I was still talking to him.
Now, I'm confused as this has been going on for about 5 or 6 months and he hasn't asked me out. It's confusing because you know when a black guy is interested in you but I'm noticing it's not. Should I let him get the courage to ask me or should I just do it for him?
I need your help ladies.
I have recently been made aware, through a work collegue that a guy who works at my building likes me. I'm a receptionist and in the building where I work, it is mainly wm and am. No black men at all. So I did start to notice that this particular guy has been starting convesation with me, but it's never anything to deep. Just friendly banter. It started out as just saying hello each time he passed then progressd.
So a couple of months back, he asks my co worker what my name is, bear in mind that she has been working there for 2 years and he doesn't know hers.
Then... one day he came up to the desk to talk to me. He asked me about my hair. When I started I had a fade and now I was wearing a wig. He thought my hair had grown really quickly. I laughed so hard when he was enquiring, because I thought it was really odd and he caught me off gaurd. He then says that he likes afro hair and he loves it when black women wear afro's lol.
A couple of weeks passed and he didn't really say much to me, so I decided to talk to him. He then tells me, that he was embarrassed about the question he asked and he was surprised that I was still talking to him.
Now, I'm confused as this has been going on for about 5 or 6 months and he hasn't asked me out. It's confusing because you know when a black guy is interested in you but I'm noticing it's not. Should I let him get the courage to ask me or should I just do it for him?
BeautifulFlower
Well-Known Member
How cute....he's definitely got a crush.
It depends on how bold you are. But me being slick would probably led the conversation in a way that establish a common local interest (movie, play, activity, bar, etc.) then see if this leads him to get the courage to ask you to this place.
He may be thinking you're just being nice or friendly so maybe compliment him on how nice he looks or something.
With my current friend, he had concert tickets and I kinda invited myself. Lol. He would have never asked me because he wouldn't ask me to right out fly to the west coast. But once He gets it in his head that You would come out with him, he'll be alot more comfortable Asking.
Sending BeautifulFlowers from my iPhone
It depends on how bold you are. But me being slick would probably led the conversation in a way that establish a common local interest (movie, play, activity, bar, etc.) then see if this leads him to get the courage to ask you to this place.
He may be thinking you're just being nice or friendly so maybe compliment him on how nice he looks or something.
With my current friend, he had concert tickets and I kinda invited myself. Lol. He would have never asked me because he wouldn't ask me to right out fly to the west coast. But once He gets it in his head that You would come out with him, he'll be alot more comfortable Asking.
Sending BeautifulFlowers from my iPhone
mischka
shrinkage.
Yep. I would hint around (heavily if necessary which granted my idea of heavily is not obvious but solid enough to be noticeable) to give him the opportunity and then, if he still showed resistance (which he probably would) kind of joke about it directly as if he's not picking up my hints. I would not directly ask him out though (as is my policy with any guy generally).
cherxy777
Active Member
@mischka Yes, they don't generally approach and I think it has a lot to do with wanting to feel you out and see if you are even interested in them at all. And yes, they do to a long time. A long time. But I think he wasn't sure of my interest level. And he was right to move slowly because I didn't know I had an interest until I went to visit him.
To the ladies, that don't get approach, I would definitely strike a conversation over some shared interest first. They will ask for your number or contact info if they have interest. Even if they don't do it immediately, they will if they continue to get the feel there is something there.
Or you can do some bold ish like me and hit up a hottie over corporate IM and tell him you thought he was the most attractive thing at the conference. My little Tom Welling.
I'm sorry but I just squealed at the "Tom Welling" reference. If I had met him back when Smallville was still new and he was still green...."when he gimme that look then them panties coming off"
january noir
Sunny On a Cloudy Day
NefertariBlu
You could give him a nudge... when he approaches your desk the next time and after chattin' with him a little bit, say something like this: "I like conversing with you," "would you care to join me for lunch sometime?" "We could eat in the cafeteria or go for a quick bite to eat."
Watch is expression, and see what he says... if he's interested, he'll bite.
It may not be right away, but eventually he'll come around to asking you for lunch (at least).
Cherokee-n-Black
Well-Known Member
This was really interesting. I'm married now (to a black man), but I was always interested/curious about IRD. The one opportunity I sort of had was with a guy in school. We were definitely interested in each other and finally got the nerve to go out on a date. It was going great and we were vibing...only to run into some of his friends (that we were both in school with) of his race at the movie theater we were going to. He left me to go talk to them and then came back. It was awkward, and I felt some kind of way about it, but I realized even in that moment, that I probably would have done the same. So I guess neither of us was really ready to cross that bridge (mind you, this was almost 15 years ago). I always thought I might find love in IRD because I knew almost no black men with the same interests, but, I met my hubby, and realized there are magic unicorns out there. I'm just glad that the whole IRD thing now includes black women. For so long it seemed that it was just our men crossing over and no one was crossing over to us. I think this post gives a little insight into that. Good luck, ladies!
mischka
shrinkage.
Oh... I just thought of something else, something that is so obvious it only makes sense that I forgot it during the original comments... certain species of white men LOVE jazz, which, unironically enough, probably contributes to their willingness to date interracially.... :scratchch Srsly I've met white people that love jazz more than I ever even had thoughts about jazz... who can identify a random jazz piece by name and composer? I sure in the fck can't
explosiva9
Active Member
So this cute white guy at work just asked me out. Lol. He was like "couldn't u tell I liked u". I really didn't pay him much mind besides the usual good morning and random conversations. Lol. Just didn't think I was his type. Lol. But according to him "I'm so beautiful". Lol. Let's see. If anything I made a new friend. Oh, and half of my boyfriends have been white. But ever since I moved back to nyc the white guys here don't approach unless they are foreign. I had more luck with them in the south.
Etherealsmile
Well-Known Member
Well I'll be damned!
What are the chances? i've heard more negative experiences from down south regarding IR dating especially with white men. Which state did you live in? 
explosiva9
Active Member
Well I'll be damned!
I lived in Florida but traveled to Georgia and the Carolinas a lot. No prob. Nyc, they just stare at me. Lol.
Cherokee-n-Black
Well-Known Member
If you want do marry interracially, come to Harlem. I think it's a secret club because the IR married couples (and their curly-headed kids) are alllll over Harlem. I'm guessing there's a similar scene in the BK?
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