Thoughts on interracial dating.
- Thread starter mischka
- Start date
Sade
Well-Known Member
mischka What I am getting at is meeting NMB or BM shouldn't be different. Everything you put in the OP should apply across the board to BM and NBM. I hope I didn't come off some kinda way in my post. I am saying one should be able to attract NBM the same way one attracts BM. At least that is how it has always been for me.
Where does anyone say not to be who and what you are? Thanks for commenting
january noir
Sunny On a Cloudy Day
I agree with this and was going to make a comment but got lazy.
Some women like to think that NBM are "other" when really they're not.
The same way I got my past lovers who were Black, was the same way I captured the attention of my White lovers. Like all relationships, success depends a lot on timing; i.e maturity, life's experiences, mutual interests, etc., or the lack thereof. My current SO for the past 5 years is Caucasian and though we love each other, he's not perfect and neither am I. We work on our relationship together and I must say, HE's coming along nicely!
blackbarbietea
New Member
I like this topic. But some of it feels weird. Can't explain it. I agree with the weight thing. I gained weight recently due to a hormonal imballance and I'm getting less attention. I still get it because I stay fem. And got a beautiful face and personality. But I notice a defecit. Also the random conversation is so true its stupid! Hahaa!
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blackbarbietea
New Member
But the way I got the black guys..is the way I got the latino and white guys. I really didn't switch it up or anything tbh
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CarmelCupcake
Well-Known Member
thank you Misska for filling me in. When i was single, i felt so frustrated because i was used to the direct approach with black men, and when it came to white men, i would hardly ever get approached. But now that you broke it down, that non black men do not do the direct approach, i see why. Also, i was wondering, do white men check out black women, because with black men, you know when they are checking you out, but with white men, i barely see it.
Re: Weight. I just moved to the DMV area and many of my coworkers are married to non black men (this is totally new to me coming from the deep south, I pretty much never see this at home, like ever). None of these women are obese but they are definitely no where near slim at all.
Random chatting: This kind of makes sense, I've had random yt men chat me up, but when they don't make the move to try to take it a step further, I just assume they were not interested and were just being friendly. Altho during the conversation, I had this feeling that they were, so it was always kind of confusing. Just this wknd, I was with a hiking group and some of the white men were chatting me up and I couldn't tell if they were flirting or just being friendly. they did always mention that they could tell I work out.
Hobbies: my family is always teasing me saying some of my interests are "white", ie. hiking, camping, boating, yoga, etc. The only thing I cannot get down with is the music, I'm funk, r&b, neo-soul, hip hop all day long.
I'm open to IR dating bc I'm open to dating whoever I have an amazing connection with and I think its silly to rule out someone bc of race. However, I do still think I will end up with a black man. Interesting thread.
Random chatting: This kind of makes sense, I've had random yt men chat me up, but when they don't make the move to try to take it a step further, I just assume they were not interested and were just being friendly. Altho during the conversation, I had this feeling that they were, so it was always kind of confusing. Just this wknd, I was with a hiking group and some of the white men were chatting me up and I couldn't tell if they were flirting or just being friendly. they did always mention that they could tell I work out.
Hobbies: my family is always teasing me saying some of my interests are "white", ie. hiking, camping, boating, yoga, etc. The only thing I cannot get down with is the music, I'm funk, r&b, neo-soul, hip hop all day long.
I'm open to IR dating bc I'm open to dating whoever I have an amazing connection with and I think its silly to rule out someone bc of race. However, I do still think I will end up with a black man. Interesting thread.
chocolat79
Well-Known Member
chocolat79 how did you meet your potential SO? I hope you don't find my question intrusive. I figured since this is an interracial 411 thread, any tips, advice handed might be beneficial to someone
eHarmony, believe it or not. I rarely meet NBM randomly.
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LadyPaniolo
New Member
As far as the issue about NBM approaching or not... I think the woman's understanding of what "hitting on" or "approaching" is can vary strongly. This will impact her understanding of whether men are approaching or not.
So I have probably been perceived as the "oh white men approach me constantly and if they don't approach you it's because YOU are flawed" lady before
When a white man subtly eyes my physical form and then starts chatting in depth about the weather or some random subject, I understand that as him expressing an interest in me. So when I, personally, say I get approached by white men often, that is what I mean. That is my understanding of how men flirt with women.
Now, if you are accustomed to a man running up on you out of nowhere and describing which parts of your body appeal to him and why
then, yeah, that won't happen often with a white man. (Generally only "professionals" are spoken to that way in the street, in other races.)
I think the shared interests and the slim figure are the two biggest keys to success.
So I have probably been perceived as the "oh white men approach me constantly and if they don't approach you it's because YOU are flawed" lady before
When a white man subtly eyes my physical form and then starts chatting in depth about the weather or some random subject, I understand that as him expressing an interest in me. So when I, personally, say I get approached by white men often, that is what I mean. That is my understanding of how men flirt with women.
Now, if you are accustomed to a man running up on you out of nowhere and describing which parts of your body appeal to him and why
then, yeah, that won't happen often with a white man. (Generally only "professionals" are spoken to that way in the street, in other races.)I think the shared interests and the slim figure are the two biggest keys to success.
qchelle
Well-Known Member
I don't have anything substantial to add but if this will serve as a random thoughts for IR **** then...
I just went on a date with this Asian guy yesterday. Met him in DC. He's work's for the company that made pacman! $$$$$$$
he makes video games lol Oh, he's japanese.
And I'm at this wack a** bar right now. Well I was at a different bar earlier
and this white guy bought me some dranks. $$$$$ and now we're at this diff bar. And same thing happened. I'm with 3 black chicks.
These are just my RTs lol
This bar is reallllly wack. I just wrote this long a**** post.
Oh oh!! New developments! Lol the black chicks im with have just started complaining about black guys only liking white chicks!!!
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I just went on a date with this Asian guy yesterday. Met him in DC. He's work's for the company that made pacman! $$$$$$$
he makes video games lol Oh, he's japanese. And I'm at this wack a** bar right now. Well I was at a different bar earlier
and this white guy bought me some dranks. $$$$$ and now we're at this diff bar. And same thing happened. I'm with 3 black chicks. These are just my RTs lol
This bar is reallllly wack. I just wrote this long a**** post.
Oh oh!! New developments! Lol the black chicks im with have just started complaining about black guys only liking white chicks!!!
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CarmelCupcake
Well-Known Member
It sounds like ur having a lot of fun, Qchelle!
Carolie
Active Member
I just went on a date with this Asian guy yesterday. Met him in DC. He's work's for the company that made pacman! $$$$$$$
*video game nerd switch ON* He works for Namco?!
They're an awesome company and make some of my favorite games. Totes jealous of you right now lol!Err... I should probably add something to this aside from flailing over someone else's date, right?
Well, I do agree with shared interest... a lot of the things I'm interested in attract and help talk to NBM.
HollyGolightly
Well-Known Member
I read this to my fiance and we laughed at how spot-on it was. It sounded like you were describing him, especially the part about politics, music, yoga, wine, and travel.
We bonded over our mutual love of France and the electric guitar. (He plays it and on our first date he was impressed when I named Dimebag Darrell and John Frusciante as my favorite guitarists). He's also a vegetarian, but only because I put him on to the lifestyle.
Plus, we were in a dive bar when he asked me to be his girlfriend!
We bonded over our mutual love of France and the electric guitar. (He plays it and on our first date he was impressed when I named Dimebag Darrell and John Frusciante as my favorite guitarists). He's also a vegetarian, but only because I put him on to the lifestyle.
Plus, we were in a dive bar when he asked me to be his girlfriend!
well, to be blunt, white guys who date black women in my area like the natural thin, feminine (non-flashy) dressed who talk a certain way and smile/laugh a lot. it is like what mischka says, if they date a black girl she is somewhat similar to their cultural norms in speech, appearance (in hair style, make up, not physical facial features), build and dress.
Do_Si_Dos
Well-Known Member
Etherealsmile
Well-Known Member
Do_Si_Dos
Well-Known Member
Etherealsmile
Well-Known Member
BeautifulFlower
Well-Known Member
This was brought up in another thread but I think it is important to address when considering dating interracially.
Though interracial dating is more widely accepted, it is still taboo for alot. There is potential that you will get stares, you will get comments, and it can add stress to your relationship if you allow it to. I particularly think if you happen to fall in love with someone outside of your race, by all means marry and/or be together. However, do not let the novelty of interracial dating distract you from the potential stress it could add your relationship. Marry for love, mutual respect, commitment, common goals, common morals, etc.
However, I believe true love is worth fighting for no matter the color or cost.
Though interracial dating is more widely accepted, it is still taboo for alot. There is potential that you will get stares, you will get comments, and it can add stress to your relationship if you allow it to. I particularly think if you happen to fall in love with someone outside of your race, by all means marry and/or be together. However, do not let the novelty of interracial dating distract you from the potential stress it could add your relationship. Marry for love, mutual respect, commitment, common goals, common morals, etc.
However, I believe true love is worth fighting for no matter the color or cost.
DragonPearl
Well-Known Member
I had to at all the disclaimers OP had to put in to start this thread.
Anyways, I think Mischka made some very good points though I don't agree with all of them. I really don't think that white men who date black women have a shade preference, as in the darker the better... I think it's more that they usually do not seem to have a preference for lighter skin, which is misinterpreted as them not liking it...
And yes, NBM tend to approach women differently. BM tend to be more vocal and direct. But that's not a hard and fast rule. I have had plenty of NBM approach me directly and even pester me...
Good thread.
at all the disclaimers OP had to put in to start this thread. Anyways, I think Mischka made some very good points though I don't agree with all of them. I really don't think that white men who date black women have a shade preference, as in the darker the better... I think it's more that they usually do not seem to have a preference for lighter skin, which is misinterpreted as them not liking it...
And yes, NBM tend to approach women differently. BM tend to be more vocal and direct. But that's not a hard and fast rule. I have had plenty of NBM approach me directly and even pester me...
Good thread.
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