Interracial dating and potential marriage

[tmichelle]

^^^ Yeah, what's going on?

 

[ebonylocs]

OP, what I don't get is how one can be in a relationship with a man for 6 months and yet not know if he is capable of thinking as you fear.

Isn't that something one would pick up about a man in the first few dates? I.e. when he met you, did he tell you he was looking for a serious long term relationship? Was he a letch, leering your body, and making remarks about black women showing that he just wants a taste of brown sugar? Does he talk about the future with you? Is he a person of integrity?? Little (and big) things like that should by now have given you a good idea where his head is at.

Let's keep it real interracial dating is on the rise...just look at this board, but a harsh reality is that it is still a taboo in white families.

It's a taboo in SOME white families, just like it's a taboo in SOME black families.

I am not trying to get in a comfort zone and think because he is of another race that he is not capable of B.S.

My point is ALL men are capable of BS!!!! I am not one of those black chicks who has made the switch and now I walk around with the attitude that white men are not capable of the same BS as black men just with a different twist. I will continue to stay on my toes and not sleep on any man PERIOD!

Of course all men are capable of BS. You kept repeating this like it was some novel insight, and like people were trying to tell you that white men were perfect. Who in God's name thinks that?? People were just wondering where your fear was coming from. If the man was as wonderful as you say, then that wouldn't be an issue. And if he isn't wonderful, then you should be gone. I would think this would be a question on which any black woman looking for a serious relationship would satisfy herself in the very early days of dating any man of another race.

Just as there are black women who were considered good enough to marry a white man I am sure there are black women who weren't good enough to marry a white man.

I do hope you mean that the *man* (or whoever) did not *consider* her to be good enough. Because reading it as written

 

[facets]

I'm feeling dazed & confused but let's see:

Are you asking if a white guy is more likely to string you along than a black one?

From my exp and what I've observed, all sorts of men waste all sorts of women's time. From another angle, all sorts of women allow themselves to be strung along/ in the dark about the rel'p.

That said, I would not initiate a "where is this going?" conversation. I'd pull back...be less available (still sweet & all) etc. Sounds manipulative maybe but I'm being honest about what worked for me in the past. I found that being scarce, busybusybusy was like a truth serum. ...beats a thousand awkward conversations, IMO.

Let him try to pin you down. Well, you know what I mean.