Black men and light skinned women

Kawaii1

Kawaii1

New Member
I don't know if this has ever been discussed but I was reading another thread and I wanted to ask you ladies, Do any of you find it kind of screwed up that black men try their hardest to date ligt skinned,mixed, white, spanish etc. girls?

I know not all black men are like this and I know some black women are like this but I just find it messed up that a dark skinned hottie can count on a lot of black men to go the other way when he sees her or if a black girls hair is natural then there is a problem. Why is it that white men, other races seem to be able to appreciate it (dark skin, natural hair) more?
 
:cowgirl: RUN FOREST RUN!!!!!!!!!!!! :cowgirl:

Nah, but to sum it up, I think the media sets what the ideal beauty is. I've debated this one too many times and I think all of us already know deep down in our heart. No matter how much we debate, that's just how life is ya know. Work with whatcha got and live your life.
 
I've been single for too long..........and i don't see anyone knocking on my door.....:sad: Guess i ain't light enough :lachen:
 
I think the Black men and light skinned women thing has been going on since time of slavery. It was viewed as a status symbol if your wife was light. Now black men have the option of white and Spanish. Also the man may be trying to "lighten the line".

A black man who does not like a dark chocolate girl with an afro has issues with self-hate.

I have been told three times in my life by three different black boyfriends that I was too dark and my hair was too nappy to be considered to be their wife. I was like :angry2:. I mean they were darker than me and had hair kinker than mine. WTH.

And being the vindictive vixen that I am, I dumped all of their sorry black butts for non-black man. One white, two latins. I left all my black ex-boyfriends dumbfounded and ego-crushed. Even though, all of the three said sorry but I am like it should have never came out of your mouth in the first place.

As far as other men appreciating us, I am not sure if it is appreciation sometimes I think it is a sexual turn-on for them othertimes I think it is fascination.
 
Kawaii1 said:
I don't know if this has ever been discussed but I was reading another thread and I wanted to ask you ladies, Do any of you find it kind of screwed up that black men try their hardest to date ligt skinned,mixed, white, spanish etc. girls?

I know not all black men are like this and I know some black women are like this but I just find it messed up that a dark skinned hottie can count on a lot of black men to go the other way when he sees her or if a black girls hair is natural then there is a problem. Why is it that white men, other races seem to be able to appreciate it (dark skin, natural hair) more?
Click to expand...

I don't like it anymore than the next girl, but I rather a man be with the kind of woman that he's attracted to, than be with me, and looking :lick:or worst cheating with his fantasty. That's my take.
And yes I agree that if a man can't date someone that looks like him, natural hair and all, then it reflects his own feelings of self worth
 
I don't think it is really that big of a deal. You are attracted to who you are attracted to. I mean if your reason for being with someone is because you don't want to have "dark-skinned" babies, then i think that is childish, immature and just plain ignorant. I have run across people like that and all i can do is shake my head. I have been dropped for a white girl once but those were his issues not mine, so i moved on- i couldn't blame her. I also have a preference for light-skinned men. Does that mean that i do not date chocolate men or brown-skinned men, hellz to da nah. It is simply what i am primarily attracted to. The baby thing never entered my mind at all and if i am with someone it is for a whole lot of other reasons not what the kids will look like. Believe me i have seen two ugly people have some beautiful children together.

There, now i am done preaching.
 
Before someone gets mad and starts cryin: THIS IS NOT A PERSONAL ATTACK, IT'S JUST MY THOUGHTS


I just don't see how someones skin can make them more or less attractive. Good looking is good looking and to include skin color in the equation smacks of something besides general attraction. Especially for black folks. We have a long history of being treated poorly if not light skinned. I see it with more than just the skin but hair as well. If your hair is nappy it's a problem but if it's anything else you got "good hair" wtf! I don't see all these white folks, asians, hispanics putting each other down because they aren't pale enough or their hair isn't curly. They except what they have and it is beautiful to them. I swear we are the only race that holds others up as the standard of beauty. My twin sister has to deal with all types of sh*t because she has "nappy" hair. I want to slap those d*mn people. I get tired of all the bull**** with black people and their hang ups about skin and hair. Let that crap go, these people need to learn to love what they can't change and stop trying to white up their babies. It's disgraceful behavior.

 
This is coming from a light skinned black woman and my husband is as black as night!

Did he chose me because of my skin color? Maybe, who knows. When I first met him he told the guys he was with that he was gonna marry me (first day of school, 11th grade). At that point he dated women that looked like me but always said he would marry me.

Has he dated dark skinned girls? yes, but he has a history of dating mostly light skinned girls.

Have I been treated poorly because of my skin color? yes, mostly by blacks

Has he been treated poorly because of his skin color? yes, mostly by whites

As a light skinned women do I tend to attract mostly dark men? No, mostly whites and light skinned black men.

Do I agree with the original post? Somewhat, my mother third husband was very dark. All my aunts have married dark men. But everyday I'm out I see dark couples and I'm not talking every once and a while. It's all day everyday.

Do I have a history of dating dark skinned guys? I've only dated two, most black guys I have dated tend to be brown skinned.

I believe you all tend to focus on a couple more when you see black man with a light skinned black, other race woman. And I really don't see why this is a problem.

My light skinned brother and all my light skinned cousins only date and marry dark women. Do I have a problem with that. No! And I don't see anyone else complaining about it either. I wonder why?

If they are marring these light skinned women to lighten up the line, that's stupid. Any fool knows that there is a great chance that dark man + light woman can = dark brown/ dark kids.

My light skinned brother and cousins marring dark women = light skinned/ brown kids.

Again I don't see any one complaining about light men marring dark women but when I married into my husband family 'I'm to light'. This is all a bunch of BS! :nono:
 
tatiana said:
I think the Black men and light skinned women thing has been going on since time of slavery. It was viewed as a status symbol if your wife was light. Now black men have the option of white and Spanish. Also the man may be trying to "lighten the line".

A black man who does not like a dark chocolate girl with an afro has issues with self-hate.

I have been told three times in my life by three different black boyfriends that I was too dark and my hair was too nappy to be considered to be their wife. I was like :angry2:. I mean they were darker than me and had hair kinker than mine. WTH.

And being the vindictive vixen that I am, I dumped all of their sorry black butts for non-black man. One white, two latins. I left all my black ex-boyfriends dumbfounded and ego-crushed. Even though, all of the three said sorry but I am like it should have never came out of your mouth in the first place.

As far as other men appreciating us, I am not sure if it is appreciation sometimes I think it is a sexual turn-on for them othertimes I think it is fascination.
Click to expand...
I can't believe people have the balls to say this to ur face:nono::mad:. It's so disrespectful. To the OP, I see it all the time, balck man will break his neck to be with that type of girl, regardless of how pretty she is, or what her personality is.

I was friends with a dude who admitted he was with his girlfriend because she was light skinned and she has curly hair at the roots and straight ends and its NATURAL. I was like dummy she needs a touchup, hes like naw shes light skin she has good hair. Needless to say this dude is tyson beckford's complexion and said he would never date a woman darker jada pinkett:rolleyes: and they get a pass cuz they have good hair, but it would look better straight, cuz its curly, but black people curly:rolleyes:, needless to say I cut him off, once he came with that mess:nono:.

All the years, I knew him, I never knew he felt this way about black women and to the naked eye, he's a good man. Educated, good job, car, christian, drive, looking to buy a house soon, very good looking, well dressed, intelligent and he's not even 30 yet:nono:. With that said, at this point with all the race threads we have up in here, I've come to the conclusion, that ignorance is bliss for some people. There are those:
a) who know better and do better
b) then there are the ones who know better but have too much pride, or don't care enough to correct their mindset
c) and then there are ones who are oblivious

The whole thing is jus sad, because at the end of the day, the longer this carries on, WE are the ones who get hurt. Not white people, "spanish", chinese and whatever else, us.:nono:
 
Last edited:
dlewis said:
This is coming from a light skinned black woman and my husband is as black as night!

Did he chose me because of my skin color? Maybe, who knows. When I first met him he told the guys he was with that he was gonna marry me (first day of school, 11th grade). At that point he dated women that looked like me but always said he would marry me.

Has he dated dark skinned girls? yes, but he has a history of dating mostly light skinned girls.

Have I been treated poorly because of my skin color? yes, mostly by blacks

Has he been treated poorly because of his skin color? yes, mostly by whites

As a light skinned women do I tend to attract mostly dark men? No, mostly whites and light skinned black men.

Do I agree with the original post? Somewhat, my mother third husband was very dark. All my aunts have married dark men. But everyday I'm out I see dark couples and I'm not talking every once and a while. It's all day everyday.

Do I have a history of dating dark skinned guys? I've only dated two, most black guys I have dated tend to be brown skinned.

I believe you all tend to focus on a couple more when you see black man with a light skinned black, other race woman. And I really don't see why this is a problem.

My light skinned brother and all my light skinned cousins only date and marry dark women. Do I have a problem with that. No! And I don't see anyone else complaining about it either. I wonder why?

If they are marring these light skinned women to lighten up the line, that's stupid. Any fool knows that there is a great chance that dark man + light woman can = dark brown/ dark kids.

My light skinned brother and cousins marring dark women = light skinned/ brown kids.

Again I don't see any one complaining about light men marring dark women but when I married into my husband family 'I'm to light'. This is all a bunch of BS! :nono:
Click to expand...

DLewis, do u feel attacked because of your complexion?
 
Kurlee said:
DLewis, do u feel attacked because of your complexion?
Click to expand...

When I read these type thread I feel like I want to cry. It really sadens me. Being light ain't no picnic. Why is it when black women, I don't even know, that don't like me call me "Light skinned B!tch". Being light in the black community is a nono. So tell me what I'm suppose to do, it not like I'm going anywhere? I can't help my color just like every one else. But because I'm seen as this or that, I have to be teased and frowned upon. Do I think I'm all that? yes, but my color has nothing to do with it. I'm a beautiful person outside and inside. Who wouldn't want to be with me? We are here and someone has to want us.

Light skinned men tend to want the dark girls.
 
dlewis said:
When I read these type thread I feel like I want to cry. It really sadens me. Being light ain't no picnic. Why is it when black women, I don't even know, that don't like me call me "Light skinned B!tch". Being light in the black community is a nono. So tell me what I'm suppose to do, it not like I'm going anywhere? I can't help my color just like every one else. But because I'm seen as this or that, I have to be teased and frowned upon. Do I think I'm all that? yes, but my color has nothing to do with it. I'm a beautiful person outside and inside. Who wouldn't want to be with me? We are here and someone has to want us.

Light skinned men tend to want the dark girls.
Click to expand...


Some people have way too much balls:nono:, but to be honest it's jus jealousy at the end of the day. Thats what sucks about the whole issue, we all get hurt by it. I've had people make the whole I think i'm better cuz i'm light comments, but at the same time I've had people tell me i'm cute for a dark girl and make me feel small. I didn't ask to be here or to look the way I do and I make no apologies. I just wish we could get to place where someone cares more about my personality than whether my hair is too kinky or too curly or if my skin is too light or dark for them. I'm glad u answered because I completely understand where ur coming from and it sucks for all of us:nono:
 
dlewis said:
This is coming from a light skinned black woman and my husband is as black as night!

Did he chose me because of my skin color? Maybe, who knows. When I first met him he told the guys he was with that he was gonna marry me (first day of school, 11th grade). At that point he dated women that looked like me but always said he would marry me.

Has he dated dark skinned girls? yes, but he has a history of dating mostly light skinned girls.

Have I been treated poorly because of my skin color? yes, mostly by blacks

Has he been treated poorly because of his skin color? yes, mostly by whites

As a light skinned women do I tend to attract mostly dark men? No, mostly whites and light skinned black men.

Do I agree with the original post? Somewhat, my mother third husband was very dark. All my aunts have married dark men. But everyday I'm out I see dark couples and I'm not talking every once and a while. It's all day everyday.

Do I have a history of dating dark skinned guys? I've only dated two, most black guys I have dated tend to be brown skinned.

I believe you all tend to focus on a couple more when you see black man with a light skinned black, other race woman. And I really don't see why this is a problem.

My light skinned brother and all my light skinned cousins only date and marry dark women. Do I have a problem with that. No! And I don't see anyone else complaining about it either. I wonder why?

If they are marring these light skinned women to lighten up the line, that's stupid. Any fool knows that there is a great chance that dark man + light woman can = dark brown/ dark kids.

My light skinned brother and cousins marring dark women = light skinned/ brown kids.

Again I don't see any one complaining about light men marring dark women but when I married into my husband family 'I'm to light'. This is all a bunch of BS! :nono:
Click to expand...


Yay! DLewis made this post!!!!...Maybe now I can see some real feedback on the matter. Cus had it been anyone else, :lol:
 
dlewis said:
When I read these type thread I feel like I want to cry. It really sadens me. Being light ain't no picnic. Why is it when black women, I don't even know, that don't like me call me "Light skinned B!tch". Being light in the black community is a nono. So tell me what I'm suppose to do, it not like I'm going anywhere? I can't help my color just like every one else. But because I'm seen as this or that, I have to be teased and frowned upon. Do I think I'm all that? yes, but my color has nothing to do with it. I'm a beautiful person outside and inside. Who wouldn't want to be with me? We are here and someone has to want us.

Light skinned men tend to want the dark girls.
Click to expand...

I feel you on this one Dlewis :ohwell: I am trying to get where you are.
 
dlewis said:
When I read these type thread I feel like I want to cry. It really sadens me. Being light ain't no picnic. Why is it when black women, I don't even know, that don't like me call me "Light skinned B!tch". Being light in the black community is a nono. So tell me what I'm suppose to do, it not like I'm going anywhere? I can't help my color just like every one else. But because I'm seen as this or that, I have to be teased and frowned upon. Do I think I'm all that? yes, but my color has nothing to do with it. I'm a beautiful person outside and inside. Who wouldn't want to be with me? We are here and someone has to want us.

Light skinned men tend to want the dark girls.
Click to expand...

I feel you D....it's almost like people think light skinned women have no feelings :wallbash:....when will people see that being Black is anything from vanilla to chocolate....An injustice/prejudice for one spectrum of our group is an injustice for all :cry:
 
I wonder how our children will be affected by these things. I hear my daughter say "I wish I was black like my daddy", this summer while at the beach she said "I wish my tan makes me darker like daddy".

Why does she think darker is better? Because she sees what her mother goes through. I'm sure she will marry a dark man to ensure her children are darker. Same as my aunts.

It's more than just about us (light and dark blacks and dating/ marrying) we have children that we send mixed messages to.

One one hand we say "be proud of your color, black is beautiful" on the other hand we talk about other blacks and include their skin color in our negative comments we make in our homes and in public.

What type of messages are we, me, you sending to your/ our children? I can tell you what our message is not sending, and that is Black is beautiful.

I really hate these black on black HATE threads. It's doesn't matter what you call them that's what they are. In all the years I've been here I haven't seen these thread help with anything. Everyone still believe what they were taught.

:sad::sad::sad::sad::sad::sad::sad::sad::sad::sad::sad::sad::sad:
 
My hair is nappy too. I mean i am brown-skin so i have no idea what a dark-skin woman has to go through dating wise. I did have a boyfriend once who told me if he could get get rid of my small stomach at the time i would be perfect. When i went to the beauty salon- he told her how to cut and style my hair as well. Way too controlling and we eventually broke up because of that and other reasons.

I was not trying to offend anyone at all. Just stating how i feel. I thought i was entitled to that. I guess I am not part of the "in crowd" that can speak. So I will quietly depart and not speak on this crap again.
 
carameldiva said:
My hair is nappy too. I mean i am brown-skin so i have no idea what a dark-skin woman has to go through dating wise. I did have a boyfriend once who told me if he could get get rid of my small stomach at the time i would be perfect. When i went to the beauty salon- he told her how to cut and style my hair as well. Way too controlling and we eventually broke up because of that and other reasons.

I was not trying to offend anyone at all. Just stating how i feel. I thought i was entitled to that. I guess I am not part of the "in crowd" that can speak. So I will quietly depart and not speak on this crap again.
Click to expand...

This is me, too. Both of my siblings are dark-skinned, and both of them dated primarily lighter people. I felt bad for them when people would call out their skin color as a way of demeaning them ("go head on, with your BLACK self"), as if a person's skin color is something derogatory. How stupid is that? :perplexed
 
HoneyDew said:
Well, I am not light skinned and I have plenty of black men checking me out that you very much. :drunk:
Click to expand...

I heard recently that in Maryland/Washington DC, the black men love black women...

I guess it depends on where you're located, OP.

Don't come to Cali. No love for black women here.

I think in states/cities where the majority of the race is perhaps (just an example) black and white, things are different for black women.

Here in Cali, we have every race of women under the sun and moon and black women are the last ones to be looked at.

I experience this all the time and especially last night... AGAIN! :(

Oh well... I'm done with it. Can't move. Got an old momma I'm trying to get out of here.... then I'll move. Out of the United States which is turning into South America! :mad:
 
Ahh shucks!!! To heck and back with this crap. Just date who you want and let others be, their opinions, their choice of partner,their sane or crazy glances. You only get one chance on this earth to make your life the way you want it to be; live, love, laugh...there are no second chances........ for when it is done it is.... :dighole:

:thatsall:
 
I see where you are coming from DLewis!
dlewis said:
This is coming from a light skinned black woman and my husband is as black as night!

Did he chose me because of my skin color? Maybe, who knows. When I first met him he told the guys he was with that he was gonna marry me (first day of school, 11th grade). At that point he dated women that looked like me but always said he would marry me.

Has he dated dark skinned girls? yes, but he has a history of dating mostly light skinned girls.

Have I been treated poorly because of my skin color? yes, mostly by blacks

Has he been treated poorly because of his skin color? yes, mostly by whites

As a light skinned women do I tend to attract mostly dark men? No, mostly whites and light skinned black men.

Do I agree with the original post? Somewhat, my mother third husband was very dark. All my aunts have married dark men. But everyday I'm out I see dark couples and I'm not talking every once and a while. It's all day everyday.

Do I have a history of dating dark skinned guys? I've only dated two, most black guys I have dated tend to be brown skinned.

I believe you all tend to focus on a couple more when you see black man with a light skinned black, other race woman. And I really don't see why this is a problem.

My light skinned brother and all my light skinned cousins only date and marry dark women. Do I have a problem with that. No! And I don't see anyone else complaining about it either. I wonder why?

If they are marring these light skinned women to lighten up the line, that's stupid. Any fool knows that there is a great chance that dark man + light woman can = dark brown/ dark kids.

My light skinned brother and cousins marring dark women = light skinned/ brown kids.

Again I don't see any one complaining about light men marring dark women but when I married into my husband family 'I'm to light'. This is all a bunch of BS! :nono:
Click to expand...
 
Reading your post makes me want to :cry::cry2::cry2::cry2::cry::imsorry:
dlewis said:
When I read these type thread I feel like I want to cry. It really sadens me. Being light ain't no picnic. Why is it when black women, I don't even know, that don't like me call me "Light skinned B!tch". Being light in the black community is a nono. So tell me what I'm suppose to do, it not like I'm going anywhere? I can't help my color just like every one else. But because I'm seen as this or that, I have to be teased and frowned upon. Do I think I'm all that? yes, but my color has nothing to do with it:clap::lol:. I'm a beautiful person outside and inside. Who wouldn't want to be with me? We are here and someone has to want us.

Light skinned men tend to want the dark girls.
Click to expand...
 
Blossssom said:
I heard recently that in Maryland/Washington DC, the black men love black women...

I guess it depends on where you're located, OP.

Don't come to Cali. No love for black women here.

I think in states/cities where the majority of the race is perhaps (just an example) black and white, things are different for black women.

Here in Cali, we have every race of women under the sun and moon and black women are the last ones to be looked at.

I experience this all the time and especially last night... AGAIN! :(

Oh well... I'm done with it. Can't move. Got an old momma I'm trying to get out of here.... then I'll move. Out of the United States which is turning into South America! :mad:
Click to expand...

Girl, I lived in Vegas, and it was no better there. When I saw a black couple, I stared at THEM, not the interracial couples. I saw nothing but mixed babies everywhere I went. I couldn't get a date with a black man to save my life.
 
Perhaps I'm in the minority, I know the statistics say blah blah blah, and mulatto slaves generally sold for a lot more than pure black slaves......BUT

I personally do not have ANY hang ups about my color or anyone else's....light, dark, whatever. I've never felt I was in direct competition with anyone light or dark or that anyone's complexion gave them more advantages than me. I have my own special set of blessings to be thankful for and I'm not hating on anyone else's, whatever they may be!

Light women take crap; dark women take crap; fat women take crap; skinny women take crap; short women take crap; tall women take crap; ugly women take crap; pretty women take crap; dumb women take crap; smart women take crap.....:blah::blah::blah:

Stop comparing yourself to other people and focus on you and yours. The grass always looks greener somewhere else. All you can do is make sure you are sowing your seeds, and mowing and fertilizing your pasture to the best of your ability.:up:
 
This is beautiful. Too bad everyone doesn't think just like you!
meaganita said:
Perhaps I'm in the minority, I know the statistics say blah blah blah, and mulatto slaves generally sold for a lot more than pure black slaves......BUT

I personally do not have ANY hang ups about my color or anyone else's....light, dark, whatever. I've never felt I was in direct competition with anyone light or dark or that anyone's complexion gave them more advantages than me. I have my own special set of blessings to be thankful for and I'm not hating on anyone else's, whatever they may be!

Light women take crap; dark women take crap; fat women take crap; skinny women take crap; short women take crap; tall women take crap; ugly women take crap; pretty women take crap; dumb women take crap; smart women take crap.....:blah::blah::blah:

Stop comparing yourself to other people and focus on you and yours. The grass always looks greener somewhere else. All you can do is make sure you are sowing your seeds, and mowing and fertilizing your pasture to the best of your ability.:up:
Click to expand...
 
You must log in or register to reply here.

Similar threads

brownsuga_91
  • Poll Poll
Light Skinned Men vs. Dark Skinned Men: What's Your Preference?
9 10 11
Replies
319
Views
9K
Celestial
C
CarmelCupcake
Are we as black women appreciated enough?
2 3
Replies
78
Views
2K
RossBoss
RossBoss
CarmelCupcake
Do other races of men approach you?
7 8 9
Replies
252
Views
9K
FlyyBohemian
F
VirtuousGal
Why These Black Men Dont Date Interracially (video)
Replies
3
Views
206
cinnespice
cinnespice
H
What Do These Color Threads Say About the Marriage Rate of Black Women
4 5 6
Replies
151
Views
3K
cocoberry10
cocoberry10
Back
Top