2019 Relationship And Dating Thread

I went to my ex's (the one mentioned above) cousin's house Saturday for a first communion party. I greeted his family and his mum etc. He shows up (yes, I'm looking cute) and he asks "do I at least get a hug?" I greet him and give him a big space hug and keep on moving around the room. I was kee-keeing with another male friend of mine the whole night stayed a couple of hours. As I was sitting next to his mum eating, he asked me "are you allowed to eat that?" (diet talk) and I responded "I can eat whatever I want." Still no eye contact. Last comment was " Bye Fine 4s" and I responded with a byeeee all smiley and polite, still no eye contact.

Recapping the event with my boy and my petty labelle performance was on point! I've never done that before to anyone, I'd always allow people to come back in or pretend that nothing happened....anyway, thought I'd report back.
 
Question: Your SO gives you money for your birthday. How do you take that? I think that's something I would expect from a parent, not a boyfriend. Am I making too much of this?
 
Fine 4s said:
I went to my ex's (the one mentioned above) cousin's house Saturday for a first communion party. I greeted his family and his mum etc. He shows up (yes, I'm looking cute) and he asks "do I at least get a hug?" I greet him and give him a big space hug and keep on moving around the room. I was kee-keeing with another male friend of mine the whole night stayed a couple of hours. As I was sitting next to his mum eating, he asked me "are you allowed to eat that?" (diet talk) and I responded "I can eat whatever I want." Still no eye contact. Last comment was " Bye Fine 4s" and I responded with a byeeee all smiley and polite, still no eye contact.

Recapping the event with my boy and my petty labelle performance was on point! I've never done that before to anyone, I'd always allow people to come back in or pretend that nothing happened....anyway, thought I'd report back.
Click to expand...

The ex with the stalker girlfriend??? Why tho? Why are you around him and his people at all? You played it well but you seem too entangled. That's asking for drama and maintaining a breeding ground for toxicity.
 
Not knowing where you stand with someone, is kind of exhausting.
A little over 2 months of consistent daily phone calls, dates every week, and text messages throughout the day to check in. Yet the topic of exclusivity/a possible relationship creates a sense of tension. Was going on a dinner date with an old girlfriend I hadn't seen in awhile, and when he asked if it was a date and I jokingly asked "What if it was?", the answer I received was "Honestly, it's none of my business..."

Not sure how to take that response, as I've gotten different opinions from friends, but more err'ed toward him not being serious. I don't know.
 
outspokenwallflower said:
Not knowing where you stand with someone, is kind of exhausting.
A little over 2 months of consistent daily phone calls, dates every week, and text messages throughout the day to check in. Yet the topic of exclusivity/a possible relationship creates a sense of tension. Was going on a dinner date with an old girlfriend I hadn't seen in awhile, and when he asked if it was a date and I jokingly asked "What if it was?", the answer I received was "Honestly, it's none of my business..."

Not sure how to take that response, as I've gotten different opinions from friends, but more err'ed toward him not being serious. I don't know.
Click to expand...
He's not serious. Most men who are very into you feel some type of way about that, including asking/begging you not to go OR making sure they stepped their game up, i.e. possessive (I actually don't mean that negatively, in this instance). If he didn't ask for exclusivity after that, y'all are just friends.
 
I wish my fiancé would give me money for my birthday. I buy myself what I want, when I want it. He keeps a list of things I mention I want on his phone. When a gift giving opportunity comes up he asks me what I’ve already purchased. But I appreciate he wants to give me a gift or an experience.
 
chocolat79 said:
He's not serious. Most men who are very into you feel some type of way about that, including asking/begging you not to go OR making sure they stepped their game up, i.e. possessive (I actually don't mean that negatively, in this instance). If he didn't ask for exclusivity after that, y'all are just friends.
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True. I've had platonic male friends in full blown relationships with other people who reacted with more jealousy than that.
 
It’s been so long since any man has looked my way. I see I’m going to be an old maid. Idk even where to start to turn that around. I pray and cry myself to sleep each night. If why I’m posting this. I want to date but I just am Withered.
 
outspokenwallflower said:
Not knowing where you stand with someone, is kind of exhausting.
A little over 2 months of consistent daily phone calls, dates every week, and text messages throughout the day to check in. Yet the topic of exclusivity/a possible relationship creates a sense of tension. Was going on a dinner date with an old girlfriend I hadn't seen in awhile, and when he asked if it was a date and I jokingly asked "What if it was?", the answer I received was "Honestly, it's none of my business..."

Not sure how to take that response, as I've gotten different opinions from friends, but more err'ed toward him not being serious. I don't know.
Click to expand...

The date response coupled with the tension felt when exclusivity is mentioned gives you all you need. I know it sucks because he is sending mix signals by doing the most but those 2 things mentioned above should give you all the clarity you need.
He isn't interested in exclusivity and that is what you want.

Men will do what benefits them you need to do what is beneficial to you.
*hugs*
 
outspokenwallflower said:
Not knowing where you stand with someone, is kind of exhausting.
A little over 2 months of consistent daily phone calls, dates every week, and text messages throughout the day to check in. Yet the topic of exclusivity/a possible relationship creates a sense of tension. Was going on a dinner date with an old girlfriend I hadn't seen in awhile, and when he asked if it was a date and I jokingly asked "What if it was?", the answer I received was "Honestly, it's none of my business..."

Not sure how to take that response, as I've gotten different opinions from friends, but more err'ed toward him not being serious. I don't know.
Click to expand...

There was a time in my life when if faced with this situation, I would have been exhausted just like you. Call it a little bit more living or a lot more experience, but believe me when I say this guy is not worthy of your presence. This is the type of dude you should cut with no warning, no contact, no explanation, nothing. Easier said than done, I know but trust me on this one.
 
Continue dating other guys. You gave him your exclusivity before he earned it. A serious man would have been trying to lock you down. He's also casually dating other women and that's why he doesn't care if you date someone else or not.
outspokenwallflower said:
Not knowing where you stand with someone, is kind of exhausting.
A little over 2 months of consistent daily phone calls, dates every week, and text messages throughout the day to check in. Yet the topic of exclusivity/a possible relationship creates a sense of tension. Was going on a dinner date with an old girlfriend I hadn't seen in awhile, and when he asked if it was a date and I jokingly asked "What if it was?", the answer I received was "Honestly, it's none of my business..."

Not sure how to take that response, as I've gotten different opinions from friends, but more err'ed toward him not being serious. I don't know.
Click to expand...
 
@Browndilocks
So, I should cut off the cousin that I met years ago and have developed a friendship with over the years? I mean I hear you but..

ETA: you just reminded me that she made me some food that I gotta pick up after this workshop. Come on how do you say no to food?! Just kidding.
 
Fine 4s said:
@Browndilocks
So, I should cut off the cousin that I met years ago and have developed a friendship with over the years?
Click to expand...

giphy.gif


@Fine 4s U gonna make me beat u
 
I’m so excited to see my hun I tomorrow.. spent the night on Tuesday. He sent me a text the day and said he bought steak and potatoes and I am thinking he was cooking.. Little did I know he was making plans for me in his kitchen lol. So much for him not letting me lift a finger jk. I enjoyed making him a steak and he watched the whole time and talked too me while I did. Ladies this man is amazing lol (still the honeymoon stage). He enjoyed every bit and showed his appreciation.

So while I get dressed the next morning for work, he makes me a sandwich and gives me and apple and banana for lunch. He makes the bomb Tuna melt sandwich which I ate for breakfast lol. I wanted to jump his bones after he made my lunch. This man is everything I dreamed of and more. I also wanted to get you guys advice.
 
Last edited:
outspokenwallflower said:
Not knowing where you stand with someone, is kind of exhausting.
A little over 2 months of consistent daily phone calls, dates every week, and text messages throughout the day to check in. Yet the topic of exclusivity/a possible relationship creates a sense of tension. Was going on a dinner date with an old girlfriend I hadn't seen in awhile, and when he asked if it was a date and I jokingly asked "What if it was?", the answer I received was "Honestly, it's none of my business..."

Not sure how to take that response, as I've gotten different opinions from friends, but more err'ed toward him not being serious. I don't know.
Click to expand...

I would never speak to him again after that answer.
 
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