2016 Relationship And Dating Thread

Fine 4s said:
I had to walk away from probably the most loved I've ever felt from a partner and I'm grateful to have experienced that with him. Wow, cooked, cleaned, gazed into my eyes, convinced me that he thought I was the cats meow and was darn consistent with it all :)
But one thing he couldn't convince me of...that he truly ready.
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Are you serious? What exactly were you looking for that he wasn't showing?
 
@crlsweetie912
He simply hadn't lived enough, hadn't experienced enough to know what he wanted.
It was like we were just killing time, enjoying each other with no real plan or commitment to the future.
Maybe this space is just what he needs to help him figure it out, for him, for us or for whomever it will be. In contrast, I'm ready, so ready and it shows in how I plan for my future and the things I chose to invest time in. He was more fancy free with life, not as serious as I am. And lawd knows my financial obsession definitely highlighted where our minds were.
He needs to know, make a decision and be purposeful.

ETA- Baby step 1: I deleted his name in my call log. Not ready to delete texts yet.
I'll keep posting in here for a while...until my detox gets better.
 
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My patience has worn completely thin regarding his poor communication skills. I'm learning that this is his flaw and it's so irritating. I've calmly talked about it with him multiple times but now I'm at the point where I just want to go clean off on him one good time. This stunt he's pulling right now takes the cake.

Let me go to bed because I can't.
 
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Fine 4s said:
I had to walk away from probably the most loved I've ever felt from a partner and I'm grateful to have experienced that with him. Wow, cooked, cleaned, gazed into my eyes, convinced me that he thought I was the cats meow and was darn consistent with it all :)
But one thing he couldn't convince me of...that he was truly ready for a commitment.
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This is partly how I felt as well. He did everything right even said he loved every day but my gut said we were just passing time till he found someone he could commit to. And I won't be the type of woman who wastes good time on a man who won't commit.
 
It always seems to be disappointment when I meet someone I instantly click with. I saw this coming, and I shouldn't even be mad....well not mad but so ****** disappointed.

And why do they always want to remain friends after the fact? I don't want to see you, talk to you, and I really just want you to go away.
 
So I told him about two weeks ago how horrible my camera phone was. Two days before Christmas I get another package -brand new iPhone 7, unlocked, with lots space. He said that and all these damn books and mediation music for me. I'm not used to all this. :lachen:I feel like he's going the most.
 
It's the top of the year so we've both been kinda stressed at work so we have a spa date coming up.

That man is so in tune with me, he immediately knows when something is off with me and drops everything to make sure I'm good. I just can't wait for him to leave the blood sucking firm that he's with.
 
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Is there a job prayer thread? I was just told they might have an upcoming position I want in San Diego!! I want it so bad! I told my soon to be hubby and this is what he wrote "I am so proud of you my love your a hard worker that deserves recognition for what you put forth to the company that your in and I believe your a great asset to your company and they're lucky to have a woman in charge as your are! And I'm so grateful that you are marrying such a wonderful person (me) lol jk I'm lucky that we found each other for a life time ❤️. So take that San Diego position when it comes up cause you know I'll follow you as I know you'll follow me too"

Love me some him :2inlove:
 
SoopremeBeing said:
It always seems to be disappointment when I meet someone I instantly click with. I saw this coming, and I shouldn't even be mad....well not mad but so ****** disappointed.

And why do they always want to remain friends after the fact? I don't want to see you, talk to you, and I really just want you to go away.
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What happened?
 
Edit:
SO genuinely worries me. I love him but his lack of direction is concerning. We are both young but I like preparing for the future and he likes the present a little too much sometimes.
 
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I guess I will graduate to this thread. I wanted to wait until after the CUFFING on February but I guess it is real. Hi, I am Madison. I been monogamous for four months now.

EVERBODY: Hi Madison

I have successfully distance myself from the other men I entertained. One cursed me like, no, no Madison. You will get bored. Don't do this.

Other than that it has been a fairly peaceful transition into coupledom.
 
A guy I was in a situationship with just called me to tell me he is on the train headed into the city because his grandmother is in the hospital and she is probably not going to make it. This was around midnight. He called back about ten minutes ago(it is now 2:38 a.m!!) to say he wants to come uptown and see me. The machines in the hospital are beeping in the background! I have given too much of myself to this man. I get that he hates hospitals but I am not his personal Iyanla that he can cry to, hang out with and screw when he pleases. I told him that I'm not doing this but he can let me know about his grandmother. I'm seeing someone now who has captivated me like no one else and I'm trying to focus on moving forward. I don't get these men!
 
frogkisses said:
@sky_blu
Why do you continue to let this man waste your time? He's only giving you enough to appease you in the mean time. Have you asked him why he is wasting your time?
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I'm honestly just hoping he's going to see the light one day. I've asked and he'll say he wants what I want start to change then it goes back downhill. Nothing ever happens until I say I'm done. SMDH won't happen again.
 
sky_blu said:
I'm honestly just hoping he's going to see the light one day. I've asked and he'll say he wants what I want start to change then it goes back downhill. Nothing ever happens until I say I'm done. SMDH won't happen again.
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He has you in that intimate partner covert cycle of abuse/manipulation.

IMG_2284.PNG

How men keep women hooked and hoping and hoping. The incident for you is when you realize he is indeed stringing you along and are ready to leave. Being led on and lied to is abusive and unkind. Step back, try to get some perspective so that you can see what's happening. You have to be an observer of the relationship, not just a participant. I'm sorry you are going through this. Five years is a long time. He is making you chase him, making himself the prize.
 
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