2017 Relationship And Dating Thread

qchelle said:
SO (FI? FH?) is the 2nd to last person in his HS friend to be engaged/ married. Out of like 6 people. He's still really close to the only remaining guy who isn't, and doesn't seem to even want to get married at all. This guy owns his house and his gf (since HS) lives with him. SO said he better either hurry up or sleep with 1 eye open, cuz she might kill him one day :lol:
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AAAHHHHH Congratulations @qchelle !!! I'll stand in at the courthouse for our LHCF sisters who've been waiting for this day and are too far away, lol.
 
qchelle said:
:lol: we're not having a wedding, just a courthouse ceremony.
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i PM'ed you back honeybun!
Also, to the above....OMG i'm lowkey jealous. this wedding planning thing tho....
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qchelle said:
Speaking of Tday.....

Me and my mom (dad didn't go this year, lame-o) went up to CT to visit fam and went to NYC to see the Rockettes like we do every year :D It was great, as usual! And no, I didn't invite babe to Tday..even though I knew I'd miss him lol. I told him we should be engaged before we do out of state family gatherings :look: cuz hotels and stuff. He said this is the first and last time that will happen lol. kbabe.
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Post^^^ from last Thanksgiving. Guess he kept his word :) My family is going to Atlanta this year for Tday and he's coming with me. I'm so glad he's coming with me cuz I am so tired of going with my parents and sleeping in the room with them. They snore like trains! Also, this is the first time we're going to Atlanta for Tday and the first time we're visiting this cousins house. And I don't really know them that well. So, I'm triple glad SO's coming with me...we can go do things in ATL away from them lol. My cousin is renting us a very nice house to stay in. Oh! And 8 of my aunts and uncles, along with lots of cousins/their families will be there. So many people :nono: The house we're renting will only (ha) have 11 people in it, but still. Yes, quadruple glad SO's coming lol.
 
Yo. It's almost 2018. I feel like this year has been 5yrs-in-1. I think I said this last year, too :lol:

Our moms are throwing us what they're calling an engagement 'happy hour'. They both like to entertain and stuff. A lil casual, 15 person party at his moms house. They said they finalized the menu yesterday. I'm glad they get along :) We should have them plan (and pay for) the reception, too :oops:

Apparently my mom didn't know we'd met online. I had a feeling she assumed that my godsis introduced us (Her and FH knew each other at college), and I was right. So I took the initiative to clarify this before tday so she wouldn't be shocked when people asked us how we met. She said "wow! I thought only crazy people met each other online" :lachen: thanks mom.

We've booked the photog for our engagement pics in nola. I'm excited for that :)
 
I was married for 13 years and one of the happy moments of me divorcing my ex was never having to see his mother again. She and I didn’t get along. I was always cordial but she would take shots saying stuff like “you took him from me” or “I’m going to grow old alone because of you”. Le sigh.

Here I am in a new relationship (we’ve been dating for a year and it’s promising) and spending my first thanksgiving with him and his family. Guess what....

His mother gets very territorial when he wants to be close to me.

As he and I were cleaning the kitchen last night, he says “this will be our last time having family over. Thank you for being patient with my mama”.

I guess he saw what I did and doesn’t like it.

I just smiled, went to hug him and said “baby whatever you want to do. We’re a team”.

What I really wanted to say was “throw everything away! The whole house and her potato salad!!!” :lol:
 
sarumoki said:
Any tips on being there for your SO during the death of a family member?
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Be patient and prepared to listen more than offer advise. Ask him if he needs anything or wants to vent about anything. Take your feelings out and focus more on him as the grieving process can take time. He needs support and ego stroking not criticism.

Ask open ended questions to get him talking. Give positive affirmations and encouragement. Respect his voice (even if he sounds angry at times) and allow him to feel.

Also get him to do a little evening time breathing exercises. If he’s not keen to it, just ask him to help you practice breathing — have him teach you but you’re really teaching him. The exercise: at the end of the day, turn off all TVs, phones and noise for 15 minuets. During the 15 minutes just sit and breath in, hold and count to 10, release. Repeat 3 times and then sit in silence for the remainder of the time. This will help him breath through stressful thoughts and create a sense of serenity as he processes the death of family member.

Also, outdoor activities help like hiking — small city hikes or evening walks to bond and think with him during this time.

Limit or eliminate the use of alcohol, caffeine, or drugs.
 
qchelle said:
It's so funny you mention that, cuz just yesterday I told my mom I wasn't having a wedding to prepare her. I told my SO I also don't want her blaming him lol.

But yea I'm an introvert and don't like being the center of attention. And the idea of weddings is so unappealing to me. Paying for people to stare at you walking and kissing. Ridiculous :lol: and yes, the stress of the planning... people routinely say "I'll be glad when it's over" so, why are you doing it in the first place? :spinning:Its not like it's an investment.. like a PhD program or being pregnant...all you're getting when its over is fb pictures and a large bill. ??? So weird. My primary dislike of weddings isn't how expensive they are, but everything else.

(Wearing a white dress when you've been having sex since HS, or worse, have kids lmao. Being given away by someone to someone else, even more ridiculous when you've been out of your parents house for years. Having the bolier plate bible reading of wives submit to your husbands when you make more money than him and always will or equally contribute. It's all just so ****** stupid :lol: )

My mom is so upset that I won't be having a wedding :lol: I can see that she'll be trying to convince me up until the courthouse date :lol: 1 particularly hilarious argument she had was: your family in NC would love to go to a wedding! :lachen: yo. Why do I care? I don't even know them like that :lol: I didn't say this. I just nodded and smiled throughout her ranting and hyperventilating. Oh another gem: you can have a nice wedding at your father's church, we know lots of ministers :rofl: i haven't been to that church in 20yrs yrs, woman.
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My mom texted me yesterday "your cousin wants to sing at the wedding" and I beat it into her head that there will be no wedding to sing at lol. I think she has finally accepted it.
 
qchelle said:
My mom texted me yesterday "your cousin wants to sing at the wedding" and I beat it into her head that there will be no wedding to sing at lol. I think she has finally accepted it.
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I sure that was a hard pill to accept because society glorifies the wedding part of a marriage.

You may have posted this and I didn’t catch it, but what type of ceremony will you two have in lieu of a wedding?

Congrats btw.
 
007PMP said:
I sure that was a hard pill to accept because society glorifies the wedding part of a marriage.

You may have posted this and I didn’t catch it, but what type of ceremony will you two have in lieu of a wedding?

Congrats btw.
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Thanks! We're having a courthouse ceremony with just our parents. But we're having a reception later for family and friends.

I soooo want to ask who you are/were? :look:
 
qchelle said:
Thanks! We're having a courthouse ceremony with just our parents. But we're having a reception later for family and friends.

I soooo want to ask who you are/were? :look:
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I don’t remember my previous screen name it’s been about 4 years maybe since I deleted my account here. I joined back in 05/06 and posted a lot in the hair forum, the cooking forum and sometimes OT.
 
So my BF has given me my ring budget, and an idea of when he would like to propose. He knows I'm super picky and would probably not like something he picked out on his own, so I've been looking for rings mostly online. I think I'm going to have him order a custom ring, and I think I'm at the point where I need to stop looking, because the price keeps going up :blush: .
 
I'm newly single and for the first time ever I joined a dating website. I have talked to several guys on the app, but I have only met 2 in person.

The first guy is tall, dark and handsome. He does IT...we have been on 3 dates. We have a lot of chemistry and that kinda scares me.

The second guy is a doctor. He's Indian and he really enjoys spending time with me. We have gone out about 3 times too.

Guy 3 I haven't met yet, but he loves to read like me! He's handsome and chocolate. Has a huge house that he lives in alone. As of right now he's my favorite of the 3. I can't wait to meet him. I cancelled our first date :( I overslept.
 
So... after all of that and everything you've said, "marriage isn't a top priority" for you. You said that you wanted to get married to me ad nauseam. Good thing I laughed it off at the time. Don't call me Mrs. _______ if you don't want that. Your statement is duly noted, sir.
 
NappyNelle said:
So... after all of that and everything you've said, "marriage isn't a top priority" for you. You said that you wanted to get married to me ad nauseam. Good thing I laughed it off at the time. Don't call me Mrs. _______ if you don't want that. Your statement is duly noted, sir.
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Hugs. I can only imagine the frustration and hurt made by his statement, especially if your responsiveness to him calling you Mrs. was complementary to the idea of marriage.

Been there, so I know how you could be feeling.
 
007PMP said:
Hugs. I can only imagine the frustration and hurt made by his statement, especially if your responsiveness to him calling you Mrs. was complementary to the idea of marriage.

Been there, so I know how you could be feeling.
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Thank you. I'm not sure how I really feel yet.

I dropped people for this guy, and I wouldn't ordinarily date him in the first place. I'm a little disappointed, but:
- I have no problem meeting great men
- I deserve to have what I want, and I can have it

So it's not all a wash. I enjoy his company, but now he is downgraded again.
 
NappyNelle said:
Thank you. I'm not sure how I really feel yet.

I dropped people for this guy, and I wouldn't ordinarily date him in the first place. I'm a little disappointed, but:
- I have no problem meeting great men
- I deserve to have what I want, and I can have it

So it's not all a wash. I enjoy his company, but now he is downgraded again.
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I would reconsider keeping him around, even in a downgraded status. He’s a liar at worst, wishy washy and lukewarm at best.
 
NappyNelle said:
Thank you. I'm not sure how I really feel yet.

I dropped people for this guy, and I wouldn't ordinarily date him in the first place. I'm a little disappointed, but:
- I have no problem meeting great men
- I deserve to have what I want, and I can have it

So it's not all a wash. I enjoy his company, but now he is downgraded again.
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Men respond to actions and actions alone.

If you told him once how you feel and expressed the level of commitment you’re willing to invest in, then let him marinate on it and leave him room to adjust up or down.

Continue moving forward and if he’s being purposeful and for you, he will chase and make every effort not to let his mouth or actions ruin an opportunity with you.

Best of luck and yes, don’t settle and only you know what settling means for you.
 
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