2019 Relationship And Dating Thread

My fiance has 3 brand new unopened pairs of headphones/earphones but only wants to use mine.

Is this married life??

Also, we pushed the wedding from October to February. The only big deal about this is that instead of happening early on a Sunday, we're getting married on a Saturday evening. Im nervous about this because I wanted something informal and I feel that Saturday weddings come with certain expectations. Sigh.
 
C@ssandr@ said:
My fiance has 3 brand new unopened pairs of headphones/earphones but only wants to use mine.

Is this married life??

Also, we pushed the wedding from October to February. The only big deal about this is that instead of happening early on a Sunday, we're getting married on a Saturday evening. Im nervous about this because I wanted something informal and I feel that Saturday weddings come with certain expectations. Sigh.
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Give him yours and take one of his new ones :lachen:.

I understand what you are saying BUT you do what you want and makes you the happiest. They can expect all they want. Just be very clear on your invitations and stick to your guns. And congrats and best wishes to you.
 
These young dudes are funny. Guy sees me on zoom when i was on with family and friends, knows my aunt so he asked her for me number. My aunt asks my mom to ask me. Well i appreciate the effort and boldness to get my mom and aunt involved so i give my number. He texts me immediately which is nice and we start texting. I could tell he’s young by how scattered his texting is and the way he talks. Hes 23 and im 26. Anywho i was working 4 nights in a row so i told him i wouldnt be able to respond when im at work. Cool fine. So when i get off work one day i hit him up initially and ask how his work was and we talked a bit before i went to sleep. And i text him when i woke up to go back to work. So I find out he works at walmart, about to start nursing school (meanwhile im already a nurse), and he’s not very attractive (we exchanged pics) and i look way better than him. I already knew its not happening but im nice and just mentally regulate him to homie status. So i tell him im headed to work and he says alright we’ll talk later.
He never texts me again. Like dude YOU asked for MY number then try and ghost me??? Or maybe he wants me to keep initiating and chasing him??? I dont even care. He’s an ugly cornball anyways. Im collecting my covid nursing bonus money and plotting on buying a pretty car. I blocked his tail just in case he tries to pop up on me. These men i swear...

any who i need to stop entertaining and crushing on young men. I need stability. I look very young so i tend to attract young men but nah. They are too unstable, lack confidence, and act like im supposed to be their momma and drag them along. No ma’am
 
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Royalq said:
These young dudes are funny. Guy sees me on zoom when i was on with family and friends, knows my aunt so he asked her for me number. My aunt asks my mom to ask me. Well i appreciate the effort and boldness to get my mom and aunt involved so i give my number. He texts me immediately which is nice and we start texting. I could tell he’s young by how scattered his texting is and the ay he talks. Hes 23 and im 26. Anywho i was working 4 nights in a row so i told him i wouldnt be able to respond when im at work. Cool fine. So when i get off work one day i hit him up initially and ask how his work was and we talked a bit before i went to sleep. And i text him when i woke up to go back to work. So I find out he works at walmart, about to start nursing school (meanwhile im already a nurse), and he’s not very attractive (we exchanged pics) and i look way better than him. I already knew its not happening but im nice and just mentally regulate him to homie status. So i tell him im headed to work and he says alright we’ll talk later.
He never texts me again. Like dude YOU asked for MY number then try and ghost me??? Or maybe he wants me to keep initiating and chasing him??? I dont even care. He’s an ugly cornball anyways. Im collecting my covid nursing bonus money and plotting on buying a pretty car. I blocked his tail just in case he tries to pop up on me. These men i swear...

any who i need to stop entertaining and. Crishing on young men. I need stability. I look very young so i tend to attract young men but nah. They are too unstable, lack confidence, and act like im supposed to be their momma and drag them along. No ma’am
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good for you for taking charge of your peace and setting boundaries! sis you ain't playing!! :clapping:
 
lavaflow99 said:
good for you for taking charge of your peace and setting boundaries! sis you ain't playing!! :clapping:
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The last thing im going to do is give up my peace of mind and chase a man that im too good for. See men can already sense when your too good for them and when they cant give you what you need. But this is where many women get desperate and push and force and make themselves small just to get a man. Ive learned my lesson. When a man feels like your too good for him believe it and leave cause he will make you miserable.

hopeful said:
@Royalq sounds like he knew you were out of his league and he wasn’t looking for a homie :lol:. Good for you to keep it moving.
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He probably thought i was younger than him and aint have much going on.
 
hopeful said:
Give him yours and take one of his new ones :lachen:.

I understand what you are saying BUT you do what you want and makes you the happiest. They can expect all they want. Just be very clear on your invitations and stick to your guns. And congrats and best wishes to you.
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I don't wanna give him mine :/

As for the wedding, I'm not concerned about letting people down, it's more like I am going for a certain vibe and want to execute it well.

I think we'll be fine though. Imagine this:

Saturday afternoon
Cocktail wedding/reception
2-7pm
1920's vibe (the event is at an old speak easy)
Live violin and cello
classical and jazz music for the ceremony and cocktail hour
A DJ for the reception
 
I don't know if it's because I'm tired of wracking my brain or if I just know it will work out but, fiance and have decided to do digital RSVP's for this wedding. I am taking advantage of the fact that these are some weird times...

So that means, a really nice invite and a 2nd card inserted with the wedding details (directions etc) and our wedding website listed so they know how to RSVP.
 
SO and I had our first premarital counseling session today. It went better than I expected. Our therapist is good. We made a lot of headway in just one session. We're not engaged yet but we want to be before the end of the year. We always planned to do premarital counseling but something happened a couple months ago involving SO's mother that made me want to do it before SO proposes. :look:
 
I'm really trying to understand this but I cant. Im still friends with a guy I used to date. We check in just to say hey and catch up. He sends a text saying we just had a baby boy. At first I was shocked because we talk and out of 9 months he never mentioned a baby on the way. Just weird.

Still something was off I checked his and hers Instagram no pics of the baby just of his 9 year old daughter he previously had and her previous kids too. I even asked him to send pics of the baby but he didn't or changed the subject. Still when were on the phone like always I hear his daughter in the back ground but NO baby or any mention of the baby.

Why did this man lie that he just had a baby :perplexed:

Please dont quote.
 
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Even though I've only known my guy for a little over a year, I feel way closer to him than I ever remember feeling with my past boyfriends/ other men I've dated and I was with my most recent ex for about 5 years. I think it's because I'm now more aware of the fact that I'm avoidant and have a really difficult time expressing emotions and vulnerability in general and I recognize that I also have some commitment issues. He's told me that he also has a really hard time expressing emotions and opening up but that he feels more comfortable being open with me. This past weekend he told me he appreciates me and values the time we get to spend together. I feel like we both are creating a safe space for each other and being open with each other because we're both conscious of the fact that we have some of the same challenges when it comes to relationships. It feels great...things feel so peaceful between us :infatuated:
 
Prettymetty said:
Just a quick update: me and bae are ok. He still trips out over the smallest stuff and is super insecure, but lately we have been getting along great. Every Monday he’s off so that’s our date night/day
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So what changed that made it easier to handle his insecurities & temper and to cause you to get along great? Is it a fluke, an easier moment in the cycle or have you both taken deliberate proactive steps to improve your relationship?

Btw, it is late, so my writing style atm may sound
 
Reinventing21 said:
So what changed that made it easier to handle his insecurities & temper and to cause you to get along great? Is it a fluke, an easier moment in the cycle or have you both taken deliberate proactive steps to improve your relationship?

Btw, it is late, so my writing style atm may sound
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I confronted him about the way he handles me compared to how he let his exes get away with hell. Then he apologized and has been making an effort to let things go. It’s not perfect, but 90% better.
 
This 2019 thread got resuscitated by a "like" and had me re-reading some past posts of mine :)
My focus has changed so much! The ex I last spoke about is still out of my life and his crazy gf has left me alone. Vunderbar!
My current relationship is still peaceful. Still trying to figure out some women friendships. 'm also learning to accept people for who they are and limit my expectations and interactions with them. It's easier to do when you have bigger goals in life. Possibly starting a new job (no formal offer just word on the street about my interview and other info) Anyway, just a mini update as I enjoy Hawaii (working from home is great lol).
Now let me go find out who's married with babies :) Hope all is well ladies and keep on loving xoxo
 
kimpaur said:
I’m learning relationships aren’t fairy tales(especially after the “newness” wears off) and that’s okay.
These last month or so I’ve been dealing with a lot in regards to my health and dealing with a mysterious illness/bodily issue that I still don’t have a diagnosis for. It’s been nice having someone who says “I’m here for you” and actually know they mean it .

SO also lost a family member. Sometimes I wish he’d open up more about his feelings. I got a little jealous when one of his guy friends called and he talked about the death with them in private. But I need to learn to give him his space and let him grieve his own way.

We hadn’t been *clears throat* “coloring” for over a month since I’ve been dealing with this health issue , I’ve just been too afraid to ,but he’s been so patient and I didn’t even need to tell him we would have to wait . Another thing I love about him .

I got the go ahead after a recent doctors visit that there was nothing to worry about and we FINALLY had a night together after what felt like ages and, well :look:
I had my first BIG BIG BIG O, pen. only . I literally didn’t know what was happening to my body :giggle:
He stopped and let me get it out of my system and then kissed my back along my spine :blush:, then got back to worko_O
View attachment 463429He has seriously ruined any other man for me

:abducted:
“Getting there” this way is soooo much less work than the other too . I can’t go back :look:
I don’t think he understand what’s he’s done to me.
I ain’t going nowhere now! :lachen:
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Wait til you get destroyed :look:
 
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