2019 Relationship And Dating Thread

Fine 4s said:
Hmmm....not sure if it'a about a man making me feel or see things differently. Believe me, I'm not saying no but I don't really see the point.
What are the benefits?
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Oh I am not looking to sway you. If you don't experience the benefits of a relationship that makes marriage the next and natural step that's the point of not getting married lol. There is value in seeing things in reality. I respect when women are genuine with and know themselves.
 
Evolving78 said:
You are looking for tangible benefits right?
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I want to know what are the benefits of this legal bond that cannot be accomplished otherwise. Someone mentioned tax benefit which I will look into.
In talking to a family member, she mentioned that it depends on the state you get married in so I'll have to look into that as well.
 
Lylddlebit said:
Oh I am not looking to sway you. If you don't experience the benefits of a relationship that makes marriage the next and natural step that's the point of not getting married lol. There is value in seeing things in reality. I respect when women are genuine with and know themselves.
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I almost missed this post! So is the point of marriage, to just be married or is the purpose companionship? Do women feel more secure when married? Is it social status? Just trying to approach this with a clear mind and purpose. Haven't found much support from married or divorced friends screaming don't do it! lol
 
Fine 4s said:
I almost missed this post! So is the point of marriage, to just be married or is the purpose companionship? Do women feel more secure when married? Is it social status? Just trying to approach this with a clear mind and purpose. Haven't found much support from married or divorced friends screaming don't do it! lol
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The purpose depends on what the individuals in the couple agree to build and create. It is very different from one couple to the next. The purpose of my marriage is to be on one accord with my spouse across categories. I became a joint heir to his hard work, legacy and favor when I married him. I had companionship with him before I married him. That was accomplished during dating. Being secure with him is what caused me to let my guard down and get to know him well enough to have a relationship with him...being secure in myself is what helps me discern treasure from trash in dudes. In my case, marriage didn't magically make security or companionship appear, those already existing are two areas of many that caused that thing called marriage become an option lol. I am good at what I am good at. He is good at what he is good at but in marriage most of the stuff I am bad at or simply hate doing he is really good at. Shoot, some is stuff he learned to become good at so he could take the burden off me as part of the team and vice versa, when it is my turn. One thing we both considered is "are we compatible and capable enough to strive for the same goals for a lifetime?" It wasn't in the form of one direct question but rather different experiences continue to reveal the answer is" yes" to that fundamental concept and large part of what led to us getting married. The peace that comes with something as basic as being compatible is refreshing. The efficiency on reaching goals that surface when multiple people work towards a given goal is amazing. The efficiency on staying focused when one person can box out distraction so the person handing what they need to handle is also amazing. Some stuff feels deep but most day-to-day stuff is really practical and as simple as "when it's right, it works". Being able to say "tag you're it" and ask him to do something that comes easy to him that I would struggle with or simply hate doing but he doesn't mind doing is something I am very grateful for and vice versa. It's like having a built in network of handing our business as we reach goals more efficiently together than we would single within our household. In my case I don't believe in the world's institution of marriage as much as I believe in my spouse but that is just me and I am a super linear person. Imma let someone else provide different perspectives so I don't get too redundant. You can get a bunch of different answers all correct because each couple values, builds, creates and aims for different things within their relationship but usually what those happily married have in common is they are taking on common goals as a team and they made it official...made it family.
 
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@Lylddlebit
Thank you for your thoughtful feedback. That was awesome and speaks more so to what I think the benefit might be.
But I really popped in to say that CH is discussing marriage now! the name of the topic is called "To Marry or not to marry" coincidence? Hmmm....
Some interesting perspectives. But again, thank you for taking the time to lay it out!
 
@SpiritJunkie - Hey Lady!:wave:. Great to hear from you!! And glad everything is still going well.

My guy and I are still together too. While we met in summer 2018 (when I was rotating), we consider ourselves official since July 2019. The time has really flown by. He is cancer free and we are so very grateful for that.

He's planning to retire next year so we will be updating the winter home this time next year so we can be co-located and enjoy moderate temps all year long.

Hope we can get some other relationship updates in here soon.
 
Hey ladies!

We will be 2 years deep in April

The moment I decided to actually give this a real shot by “leaning back” and acting from a place of trust versus the hyper vigilance I was practicing before , things just got better and better.

Or more accurately, my capacity to enjoy wholeheartedly what this relationship has to offer has expanded.

Thank God for therapy, my spiritual practice and my love of reading :heart:
 
SO proposed tonight! :love: We're officially engaged! :2inlove: I thought he'd wait until our anniversary next week but he said that was too predictable lol. We got dinner to go and he kept saying he wanted to take a walk in the park later, and when we got to the other end, we're talking, and all of a sudden he starts saying my full name and getting down on one knee. I was thinking "why are you saying my name?" then I realized what was happening. :lachen:He showed me the ring and I was so emotional I nearly forgot to say "yes."

He did good with the ring lol. I picked out the setting and I let him pick the gemstone. He was studying my reactions during our appointment and picked the one I had the biggest reaction to: a purple sapphire with two diamonds on each side. Purple is my favorite color.

Now that FH (I can call him that now!) and my family got our vaccines, my family wants to invite him for dinner to officially welcome him to the family. My mom is like we have so many phone calls to make but I just want to enjoy the moment. I'm so happy right now. :cloud9:
 
ScorpioBeauty09 said:
SO proposed tonight! :love: We're officially engaged! :2inlove: I thought he'd wait until our anniversary next week but he said that was too predictable lol. We got dinner to go and he kept saying he wanted to take a walk in the park later, and when we got to the other end, we're talking, and all of a sudden he starts saying my full name and getting down on one knee. I was thinking "why are you saying my name?" then I realized what was happening. :lachen:He showed me the ring and I was so emotional I nearly forgot to say "yes."

He did good with the ring lol. I picked out the setting and I let him pick the gemstone. He was studying my reactions during our appointment and picked the one I had the biggest reaction to: a purple sapphire with two diamonds on each side. Purple is my favorite color.

Now that FH (I can call him that now!) and my family got our vaccines, my family wants to invite him for dinner to officially welcome him to the family. My mom is like we have so many phone calls to make but I just want to enjoy the moment. I'm so happy right now. :cloud9:
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Congratulations! I am so happy for you!
 
OneShinyface said:
@ScorpioBeauty09 - Congratulations! I'm so, so, so happy for you! I'm glad he did a great job on the ring too. Maybe you can share a pic at some point as it sounds gorgeous! Definitely take your time and just bask in it!
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Thanks. :) I'm trying to. I've had a lot of going on, in addition to this. It's been hard to relax and enjoy. There's so much to do, plus planning a wedding during a pandemic is stressful especially since we're having two weddings, for cultural reasons. My anxiety has been acting up lately but FH's been really supportive. He really is my best friend. :cloud9:

I'll try to post a picture of the ring at some point.
 
This past Easter weekend was going to be my first time meeting SO's mother. We've been together for a minute but I've never met her in person because she lives across the country. I wanted to get her a nice gift when I met her, so I decided on a bottle of perfume that I myself like.

I decided not to get it from the department store I was in while I was out shopping with my homegirl. I wanted it to come with all the fancy packaging I could get from the actual store. The bottle is shaped like a cylinder, so it was packaged in a cylinder shaped box and then put in a bag with a big pretty white bow. Perfect presentation just how I wanted it.

When I saw his mom, I handed her the bag and she gasped "YOU GOT ME BATH AND BODY! OH WOW" I smiled and shook my head no, then she said "OOH! IS IT A CANDLE?!" I said just open it when you get a chance.

Something about her innocent reaction made me super duper glad I got her that gift and the pretty packaging it came in.
 
SO and I have had a crazy hectic week and didn’t realize our anniversary was yesterday until I got the notification :lol:


He was stuck at work and I’m home (40 minutes away) so we get sappy on the phone and just say we’d have to celebrate another day.

Why do I get a call from SO at 10PM saying come outside . I’m like huh? Lol You are not outside at 10PM in the freaking rain :lol:

Yes,he was! Playing our official anniversary song (Toni Tone “It’s our anniversary”) with flowers,a lovely card,and a gift bag :love3:

Question ladies: He told me not to worry about getting a gift for him. Should I take his word for it and “lean back”? I feel kind of guilty not getting him anything,I never skip special holiday giving.

Eta
No one answered my question lol I guess I’ll be getting him a gift anyway!
 
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Thought I missed my ex but nope just relations and some conversations. He's turning out to be a better ex than bf. I don't feel like getting to know someone new again but its either that or be alone forever. Last time I was dating I had a younger child now I have I have a young adult so its been a minute. Unsure on dating apps but now everybodys doing it. Ahhhh.
 
kimpaur said:
SO and I have had a crazy hectic week and didn’t realize our anniversary was yesterday until I got the notification :lol:


He was stuck at work and I’m home (40 minutes away) so we get sappy on the phone and just say we’d have to celebrate another day.

Why do I get a call from SO at 10PM saying come outside . I’m like huh? Lol You are not outside at 10PM in the freaking rain :lol:

Yes,he was! Playing our official anniversary song (Toni Tone “It’s our anniversary”) with flowers,a lovely card,and a gift bag :love3:

Question ladies: He told me not to worry about getting a gift for him. Should I take his word for it and “lean back”? I feel kind of guilty not getting him anything,I never skip special holiday giving.

Eta
No one answered my question lol I guess I’ll be getting him a gift anyway!
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Yes! Get him a gift!!! :)
 
My boyfriend proposed to me in Tulum a few hours ago and I can’t sleep because I’m so excited and happy!!! I just wanted to spread some love and light in this thread to keep the positive energy flowing✨☺️. I’ve always enjoyed reading each of your exciting news and updates. Blessings all around☺️
 
Deja9 said:
My boyfriend proposed to me in Tulum a few hours ago and I can’t sleep because I’m so excited and happy!!! I just wanted to spread some love and light in this thread to keep the positive energy flowing✨☺️. I’ve always enjoyed reading each of your exciting news and updates. Blessings all around☺️
Click to expand...
Congratulations!
 
kimpaur said:
SO and I have had a crazy hectic week and didn’t realize our anniversary was yesterday until I got the notification :lol:


He was stuck at work and I’m home (40 minutes away) so we get sappy on the phone and just say we’d have to celebrate another day.

Why do I get a call from SO at 10PM saying come outside . I’m like huh? Lol You are not outside at 10PM in the freaking rain :lol:

Yes,he was! Playing our official anniversary song (Toni Tone “It’s our anniversary”) with flowers,a lovely card,and a gift bag :love3:

Question ladies: He told me not to worry about getting a gift for him. Should I take his word for it and “lean back”? I feel kind of guilty not getting him anything,I never skip special holiday giving.

Eta
No one answered my question lol I guess I’ll be getting him a gift anyway!
Click to expand...
Awwww.... that's so romantic! Happy belated anniversary. So what did you end up getting him?
 
Deja9 said:
My boyfriend proposed to me in Tulum a few hours ago and I can’t sleep because I’m so excited and happy!!! I just wanted to spread some love and light in this thread to keep the positive energy flowing✨☺️. I’ve always enjoyed reading each of your exciting news and updates. Blessings all around☺️
Click to expand...

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