2019 Relationship And Dating Thread

@SpiritJunkie - Thanks. I'm realizing what a refreshing change New Guy is. He's so kind and extremely generous. Loves to plan fun activities and trips.

He owns several luxury cabins in Oklahoma so he's blocked a weekend for us to go up and stay so I can experience it. They're usually always rented so I'm excited to go away and spend time together.
 
OneShinyface said:
@SpiritJunkie - Thanks. I'm realizing what a refreshing change New Guy is. He's so kind and extremely generous. Loves to plan fun activities and trips.

He owns several luxury cabins in Oklahoma so he's blocked a weekend for us to go up and stay so I can experience it. They're usually always rented so I'm excited to go away and spend time together.
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Forgive my city slicker ignorance but is that like glamping? What do you do out there?
 
@sarumoki - LOL. Yes, it is. They are large log cabins that once you walk in, you have all the amenities of a newly built suburban home - granite counter tops, double ovens, spa-like bathrooms with showers built for many (;)), large separate bathtubs, double sinks, outdoor hot tubs and fireplaces, enclosed/screened patios and fire pits, etc.

There's nothing rustic about the interiors other than the decorative barn doors to the sleeping quarters. His smallest one sleeps 2 and the largest sleeps 6.
 
OneShinyface said:
He owns several luxury cabins in Oklahoma so he's blocked a weekend for us to go up and stay so I can experience it. They're usually always rented so I'm excited to go away and spend time together.
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Well, my boyfriend and I broke up. I really did try with this one, but it didn't work out. I broke down crying at one point, but I'm done with him, especially after looking at his Instagram page.

Another guy wants to date me now, but I'm not sure if I'm in the right mindset. I gave him my phone number. I did some internet research on him. He's a professional chef. It appears that he owns a restaurant and catering business in another city, and is about to open another one. The catering van has a giant picture of him on it in a chef's uniform. Seems legit.
 
Ipanema said:
Well, my boyfriend and I broke up. I really did try with this one, but it didn't work out. I broke down crying at one point, but I'm done with him, especially after looking at his Instagram page.

Another guy wants to date me now, but I'm not sure if I'm in the right mindset. I gave him my phone number. I did some internet research on him. He's a professional chef. It appears that he owns a restaurant and catering business in another city, and is about to open another one. The catering van has a giant picture of him on it in a chef's uniform. Seems legit.
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I think you should see him out :look:
 
Ipanema said:
Well, my boyfriend and I broke up. I really did try with this one, but it didn't work out. I broke down crying at one point, but I'm done with him, especially after looking at his Instagram page.

Another guy wants to date me now, but I'm not sure if I'm in the right mindset. I gave him my phone number. I did some internet research on him. He's a professional chef. It appears that he owns a restaurant and catering business in another city, and is about to open another one. The catering van has a giant picture of him on it in a chef's uniform. Seems legit.
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Are you okay with the kind of schedule that comes with the restaurant business? Does the restaurant have a GM or does he serve as the GM in addition to owning it?
 
I just spent a week with my brothers and dad in my home state. It was very emotionally draining as my father has had a stroke, a heart attack and a pacemaker installed over the past 7 months. We're still heavily grieving the sudden loss of my mom three years ago, so this makes all of this even more difficult. New Guy has experienced something similar and has been very supportive. We spoke often while I was away and he told me he wanted to help me relax upon my return.

He has planned a nice weekend with a date night tonight consisting of drinks and dinner at my favorite restaurant and live music, then tomorrow we're going to see a friend's fiance' play at the House of Blues and he booked us a room at a nearby W Hotel so we can Uber and drink as we'd like. Sunday we're doing a couples' massage at the hotel spa and pool time before we check out then off to brunch. Then he'll deposit me back home because I have to pack for a week-long business trip I have starting Monday. I love his take charge/take care demeanor.

Another thing I like is that he drives pretty far to pick me up for our dates and he always backs into my driveway so I don't have to walk around the car when he opens the door for me. He does the same when he drops me off. It's a little thing, but it appeals to my love language.

I could really get used to this.
 
OneShinyface said:
I just spent a week with my brothers and dad in my home state. It was very emotionally draining as my father has had a stroke, a heart attack and a pacemaker installed over the past 7 months. We're still heavily grieving the sudden loss of my mom three years ago, so this makes all of this even more difficult. New Guy has experienced something similar and has been very supportive. We spoke often while I was away and he told me he wanted to help me relax upon my return.

He has planned a nice weekend with a date night tonight consisting of drinks and dinner at my favorite restaurant and live music, then tomorrow we're going to see a friend's fiance' play at the House of Blues and he booked us a room at a nearby W Hotel so we can Uber and drink as we'd like. Sunday we're doing a couples' massage at the hotel spa and pool time before we check out then off to brunch. Then he'll deposit me back home because I have to pack for a week-long business trip I have starting Monday. I love his take charge/take care demeanor.

Another thing I like is that he drives pretty far to pick me up for our dates and he always backs into my driveway so I don't have to walk around the car when he opens the door for me. He does the same when he drops me off. It's a little thing, but it appeals to my love language.

I could really get used to this.
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I really like this guy.
 
Things are getting kind of weird with the ex.

After we broke up, I found out he had been basically e-stalking me on the other site . He made an account and everything and had even made posts about me. Once I discovered this, I changed my privacy settings.

Fast foreward months, I get a text a few weeks prior ,where he's going off on me about something I posted about trifling men :look:.. I tell him to stop e-stalking and block him.

Yesterday he pops up at work just as I'm about to leave, acting like a regular client, waiting to speak to me...WhileSO just so happens to be there waiting me :abducted:.

I completely avoided him and let one of the other staff members get rid of him.
This morning I get a call at my work phone. I hear "Hmph.(Pause)" and they hang up :look:.

I didn't recognize the number and we have been experiencing problems with our phones , so maybe it wasn't him...or maybe it was.But this whole thing has me a bit creeped out.

Hopefully there are no suprise pop ups today.
As soon as I'm off the clock, I will be ending the week in a wine-induced stupor : :alcoholic:

Eta: Just received 2 calls smdh. What a loser. So disgusted right now
 
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Royalq said:
My ex is confusing me. I’ve already determined I don’t want to be in a relationship with him anymore but he thinks it’s possible in the future. He just has too many personality and financial faults.
Anyways back in May he told me he had a problem with his card and he couldn’t use it. So he would send me money on my account and pull it out. He never took more than what he put. He stopped for a while. But today he asked me again to send me money and he’ll pay a bill on my card and that he still hasn’t gotten his new card yet. What’s confusing to me is 1) it’s been 2 freaking months, you still haven’t gotten the card yet? And 2) he’s stopped doing that for like a month now, how have you been paying for stuff this whole time?
I feel like this is a ploy to come see me under the guise of just paying a bill.
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I cut him off about a month ago. He still pops up every now and then but I closed that chapter firmly. He works full time some where else and part time at my job so I ended up running into him last week. I kept it short and sweet and moved on.

My dating life is bleak and its getting to me. Everyone around me seems to get boo'ed up easily and men just aint checking for me at all. I know im not bad looking so what gives?
 
At first I was going to hold this in and keep it to myself but this is doing more harm than good and I don't know where to go from here so...

It's been a long week. And by long I mean LONNNNGGGGGGGGGG.

Things went bad so fast I mean today I actually cried in the shower and told God I just don't know what to do anymore. So Tuesday when I came home from revival it seemed like he was trying to get a reaction out of me.Good or bad. This was also his daughters last week/weekend being here so I tried to ignore it because I figured he was just in a mood about her going back home. Anyways after my shower as I'm getting in the bed I mention to him if I don't finish all my past due assignments for this science class by Friday I'm not going to be able to go to the amusement park with them.

Logical right? I mean if I fail I have to give $700 back to my place of employment. Well he went quite and then said " I just don't want to go because his daughter is going." and then turned over. And if ya'll have read my posts before ya'll know he ALWAYS does this to me in regards to his daughters. That statement pushed me over the edge. Because one I'm tired of that line...

So I said " This has nothing to do with your daughter, and I'm tired of you throwing that in my face trying to make it seem like I have a problem with her. A problem with a child. Did I mention anything about her specifically? No. The responsible thing to do in my case would be to finish my assignments since the class ends Sunday and I'm behind. That statement was petty and childish and you're too old for that."

And with that I got up and went downstairs to work on some assignments. But you know how something doesn't sit right with you and your not done telling someone how you feel? That was me, so I marched right back upstairs and told him "I"m not going to allow you to keep doing this to me so the next time you feel the need to say something slick out your mouth in regards to me not liking a child you can go ahead and leave." So then he gets up and tries to push me out the door and proclaims he's going to go stay at his mothers house. (His favorite line I can't tell you how many times I've heard this).

So I took my little fist and banged it on the wall and then went downstairs again. That was the last time we "talked". Wednesday when I came home from work I finished working in the dining room and he walked by and said "hi" to which I responded with "hi". Thursday I came home after he was already sleep and Friday he went to his mothers house right after work.

I've been alone in the house all weekend - Saturday he sent a good morning text.

I haven't tried to call or text him because I literally don't have words. EVERY summer theres something in regards to his daughter. Literally every summer. In the beginning I used to go above and beyond trying to make sure this girl liked me. I would do the most for her and her sister. Now I don't and you want to know why - when the older sister graduated high school her and her mother called everyone in his family and told them I wasn't invited to her graduation in Texas. I didn't react, then when she went away to college she would call every week asking to either uber her food, pay her cell phone bill, money for a party etc.

The younger daughter comes - I take her to Kate spade, nail salons, movies out to eat etc. Every summer me and SO get in a argument I don't like his daughters. During our vacation the youngest daughter sat down and ordered a $26 steak and didn't eat half of it. But he complains when my son orders stuff.

Theres so much more but I don't even want to type it out. I just don't even know what to do.
 
@ClassyJSP
Honestly it sounds like this has nothing to do with his daughter and about him not wanting to support you pursuing your education. And not support you standing your ground. You made one statement re needing time to finish up work (that is already late) and from that point on the conversation shifted to his daughter(s) which is really shifting the focus onto him and his needs. He’s slick.

If I recall the past due assignments are because of doing things he wanted to do as well? Get your work done girl and pass that class. Don’t spend anymore energy on him, getting him to understand, explaining how hard you have tried with his girls, etc. etc. Stay focused on you for now and finishing your schoolwork. No offense, but he sounds exhausting.
 
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@ClassyJSP

Classic passive-aggressive manipulative BS.

See how you are now spending so much mental energy on him and the situation?

Redirect that energy back to you, you goals and dreams. Keep ignoring him. When/If he comes back to the house, don’t accept any non-verbal overtures. If he won’t apologize and acknowledge he was out of line, blank him out. Don’t do any SO stuff for him. He doesn’t deserve it.
 
@ClassyJSP I am also at a loss for words, the fact that he can't see the enormous amount of effort you've put forth being kind to his children is ridiculous. And he's been doing this for years?
And the part about his child ordering a $26 steak and not eating half but him complaining about your son ordering things has me giving him a HUGE side eye.
Definitely focus on finishing your summer course- you are so close , don't waste the money!
Don't force yourself to respond to him yet. Hell, do one better and don't resin to any lazy texts. He needs to call you like a grown man
 
@ClassyJSP that sounds annoying. Some people really do not understand when you have classwork to do as an adult.

That said, do you like his daughters? It doesn’t sound like you’re that fond of either of them if I’m being honest. Not sure if that’s fixable but it does sound like there’s a his/hers attitude towards kids. Are y’all serious? Planning to get married?
 
Miss_C said:
@ClassyJSP that sounds annoying. Some people really do not understand when you have classwork to do as an adult.

That said, do you like his daughters? It doesn’t sound like you’re that fond of either of them if I’m being honest. Not sure if that’s fixable but it does sound like there’s a his/hers attitude towards kids. Are y’all serious? Planning to get married?
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I actually do like both of his kids.. I wouldn't put forth the type of effort I have if I didn't. But his daughters and classwork don't have anything to do with each other, that's an odd comparison. Yes, we're serious we've been together for 5 years.
 
Update:

I finished the assignments and passed the class. We're also going to counseling. After 5 years we shouldn't still have discussions/debates/whatever you want to call it about IF I like his daughters or not. I feel like that's something I would recognized back in year 1 when I met them.

He also has came home and apologized among a few other things to get back in good graces but i'm standing firm on us going to talk to someone.
 
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