2017 Relationship And Dating Thread

MissNina said:
New = when he first said the comment. It was a few months ago when they were talking about it heavy.

All in all the key is to do what is best in your relationship. If you & your partner don't like the rule (or rules in general), don't adopt it. What works for one couple may not work for another or even be necessary for another. Don't force it.

As VP, he is very rarely ever alone and there would be no reason to have dinner with any of those women named by @sarumoki alone. My cousin is a House Rep, and I can assure that political convos are held all times of the day. Besides, all rules have common sense exceptions.

IMHO, I would rather be with a man who knows he has an issue controlling himself in ABC environment, or has seen things go bad with other men in ABC environment, and has the wisdom to say, "Let me avoid this situation altogether" than one who says, "Oh I will be fine, no big deal. I got it" and ends up doing something stupid. That's a very attractive level of maturity to me. But to each her own.
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Yeah I feel like if this is their routine and they're happy with it and their marriage is succeeding then who am I to question it?

Some people are really serious about maintaining tight boundaries in their marriage and if it's working for them then hey.
 
Considering the circumstances (unexpected miscarriage), we are actually doing pretty good. Communication has gotten a lot better but we still have some differences to compromise on. I think this situation is pulling us closer together and exposing what we need to work on both individually and together.
 
Sosa said:
Ugh...idk what to get my SO for his bday next week. We’ve been together for less than a year so I don’t want to get him anything big or too mushy.
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Bought him a personalized (his name with a clever tag line) grilling apron since he likes to grill. Lol. Then I remembered summer is over and he probably won’t grill until next year :-/ . Was going to buy grilling utensils but he has plenty.
Ugh! Idk wtf to get. I don’t care to impress him, I’m not in love.

I’m not taking him for dinner cuz it grates my soul to pay for a man’s meal. I have issues. Would sooner give an expensive gift than go to a restaurant and reach in my purse at the table to cover our bill. Issues.
 
I forgot to post this but we had so much fun at the 2chainz concert. He told me my milly rock was awful but he enjoyed when I backed it up on him. We rapped and danced the night away.
We both decided that going to concerts and sporting events would be something we are going to do more of as a couple.
 
Meeting my family went well. When we got to the house my aunt promptly took him around and introduced him everyone. My bf really thought there'd be an interrogation of some sort. I told him that my family isn't like that. Yeah I have 4 brothers and they do care, but it's really not that serious :shrug:. I did pull one of my younger brothers in for a conversation with him since they have commonalities. They hit it off better than I thought they would. My aunts were cheesing at me from the other side of the living room. Mission accomplished.

Some thoughts on this relationship:

My guy is more than I bargained for. My boyfriend embodies the traits that I want/need in a partner (as per the list I made years ago). The best part is that he is all of that and more. For example My boyfriend opens his car door for me. In the past I didn't care about that particular detail, but since he cares about it, I allow it...and enjoy it. My bf told me the other day that he loves sending me good morning texts. I thought it was an interesting choice of words, especially since he usually means what he says. He expressed that he wants to be even more of gentleman towards me. He is a natural gentleman with strong masculine values. I'd even peg him as an alpha...which is strange because I usually don't attract these types...and I've always been comfortable with that. But I digress...

I think that becoming more feminine is a motivating factor behind him wanting to do more for me. When I was sick with the flu, I said yes to everything he offered to help me with, even if I didn't need it. He started looking for ways to be helpful and productive which is sooo dope. He's great :love3:

We've been talking about how we're going to manage Thanksgiving. He's excited at the prospect of us attending both dinners.
 
FemmeFatale said:
Would any of you be kinda annoyed if your SO was interviewing for a gig at your org? I love him but I love my space..this is just too close.
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Unpopular opinion lol but no. We work in the same department and he used my name as a referral.

Disclaimer: It's only been about 2-3 months

Hooweevverrrr we work different shifts so we are only in the office together for about 4 hours and we don't work together in the sense that we're on different teams. I could go the whole day without seeing him pretty easily.

ETA: When he first started we were on the same shift cause he was training so yeah I could see that being too close.
 
I got over myself today and struck up a conversation with a much younger black guy at a school event tonight at my university. I could tell he’s popular and a lot of the other girls were scared to approach him. Think tall, attractive jock type. I sat down next to him, asked him about his skateboard and he took it from there. Found out all sorts of things about him and his passions. :giggle: Don’t care if I see him again. I just wanted to practice on him but this was fun!
 
Einh....I don't know if I'd like my partner to be dancing Kizomba, salsa or other partner dances with another.
Saw this due dancing Kizomba and uhm, too sensual. Nope.
I grew up dancing kompas and zouk and I remember some goooood times :D When the dance was done, it was done but I used to catch some feelings lol Actually, not gonna lie, I danced with this one dude who smelled delicious and could dance well too. I got caught the F up!
I guess it's clean fun *shrug*
What say you?
 
Fine 4s said:
Einh....I don't know if I'd like my partner to be dancing Kizomba, salsa or other partner dances with another.
Saw this due dancing Kizomba and uhm, too sensual. Nope.
I grew up dancing kompas and zouk and I remember some goooood times :D When the dance was done, it was done but I used to catch some feelings lol Actually, not gonna lie, I danced with this one dude who smelled delicious and could dance well too. I got caught the F up!
I guess it's clean fun *shrug*
What say you?
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I can’t handle it either. Kizomba is basically sex with your clothes on (on the dance floor) :look:. Just like Kompa and zouk but more so. I have caught feelings for dudes who are good dancers and smelled delish. :lick: So no, my boo won’t be dancing it with anyone else.
 
I finally met someone who I like and things are going really well. He's LD and came into town this past weekend to spend time with me. We hit it off and it was more than what I expected. I'll be visiting him next month and if all goes well I'll finally be in a relationship after all these years. He wants to be exclusive but I told him I needed a little more time...I am on cloud 9 y'all. :drunk:

I do have a question...I have a few very close girlfriends and I tell them pretty much everything. We are like sisters. Of course with the excitement of meeting my new guy I have been giving them details and they are super happy and supportive. I've always said that when one in a relationship they should not divulge so much of what goes on in their relationship. This is going to be so hard for me because I am use to running to my girls with everything. Has anyone struggling in the area? What has helped you transition to telling your girls everything to keeping things between you and your guy private especially when he does something that's annoying or pisses you off. :look:
 
I'm like that too @Xavier

I'm always running my mouth and have various opinions and thoughts which cause confusion for me (and ad the opinion of others from here which I have limited due to how folks throw crap in your face). Try to limit it to a lesser number of friends and folks whose judgement you respect, who will tell you the truth even if it hurts and those with the track record in relationships that you also respect. Slowly build confidence in your own decisions. Is it because you're venting or you really need direction? I find that if I calm down, breathe, I can come up with my own solutions or next steps but I just need to STOP, shut up, calm down and stop being so darn hyped up lol.
You can also think what would [insert friend name] do?
Trust yourself and even trust that the bad decisions you make will teach you.

It's really a bad habit and I'm a work in progress....

ETA- And i'd always slip up and be like ...I was talking to XYZ and they said....and then mention later that I also spoke to ZYX and they said....this dude hardly asked for anyone's opinion so you know he was like dang she got a big mouth! lol
 
@Fine 4s

It's more about venting for me not really about getting advice. I do think that when my emotions are high, is when I tend to pick up the phone to unload on others. I will take what you said about stopping to calm down and put that into practice in the future.
 
Xavier said:
I finally met someone who I like and things are going really well. He's LD and came into town this past weekend to spend time with me. We hit it off and it was more than what I expected. I'll be visiting him next month and if all goes well I'll finally be in a relationship after all these years. He wants to be exclusive but I told him I needed a little more time...I am on cloud 9 y'all. :drunk:

I do have a question...I have a few very close girlfriends and I tell them pretty much everything. We are like sisters. Of course with the excitement of meeting my new guy I have been giving them details and they are super happy and supportive. I've always said that when one in a relationship they should not divulge so much of what goes on in their relationship. This is going to be so hard for me because I am use to running to my girls with everything. Has anyone struggling in the area? What has helped you transition to telling your girls everything to keeping things between you and your guy private especially when he does something that's annoying or pisses you off. :look:
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I’m the same way and struggle with that too. I need help in that area.
 
Xavier said:
@Fine 4s

It's more about venting for me not really about getting advice. I do think that when my emotions are high, is when I tend to pick up the phone to unload on others. I will take what you said about stopping to calm down and put that into practice in the future.
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I have no desire to tell my friends about the problems/annoyances in my relationship with SO. Even though I tell them a lot of other things about my life, I just naturally don't want to air me and SOs dirty laundry.
 
qchelle said:
I have no desire to tell my friends about the problems/annoyances in my relationship with SO. Even though I tell them a lot of other things about my life, I just naturally don't want to air me and SOs dirty laundry.
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That's the level I need to be on because he's definitely already expressed that he wants us to be a team who works things out amongst ourselves in the privacy of our own home. I understand that...just haven't been able to do it in the past which is why I want this time around to be different.
 
qchelle said:
I have no desire to tell my friends about the problems/annoyances in my relationship with SO. Even though I tell them a lot of other things about my life, I just naturally don't want to air me and SOs dirty laundry.
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This. I look at it as keeping my relationship close to my vest. It makes the bond stronger since there's a good communication flow and a general respect for the relationship.
 
Xavier said:
That's the level I need to be on because he's definitely already expressed that he wants us to be a team who works things out amongst ourselves in the privacy of our own home. I understand that...just haven't been able to do it in the past which is why I want this time around to be different.
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I think its fine to vent to a friend or mentor. I think having secondary respectable perspective is great. Self awareness only goes but so far.

That's different from sitting around with your gfs and spreading your own business.

I stopped feeling the need to share everything with my friends ( especially the single ones) once I realized the influence their opinions can have on me.
 
Okay, let's talk dating and depression.

I was first diagnosed about three or four years ago. Therapy, medication, the whole shebang. Then I moved and stopped treatment because I hated my new doctor and I've avoided going back for treatment since. I don't feel like I'm "depressed enough to need it", if that makes sense.

Anyway, lately I've been feeling really apathetic and unmotivated and I can tell it's the beginning of an episode coming on. Unfortunately, this has carried over into my relationship and he's accused me of not caring about him anymore and I think that he thinks that I want to leave. This couldn't be further from the truth. I've only ever mentioned my depression to him in passing, in a story about something that happened in the past. The way I told the story, it seemed like it was something that happened one time and that was it. I don't know how to have a conversation with him about what is happening with me right now. Part of me is scared to because the last time, it was the beginning of the end of my last relationship.

Thoughts on how I can talk to him about my depression?
 
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