Official Single and Sexy Thread 2009....

[Bunny77]

Hey Bunny! The first guy was 25 and the last one was 29 (he inspired my last thread ) I am 24. I did get attached and I did catch feelings so that made it harder.

I didnt go far with them physically either. I'm glad about that.

It's good you know to part ways early on before it gets serious.

The 29 year old would go on and on about how I was such a great girl, that I'm special, yadda but he just can't be in a relationship. He's never been in one before.

I'm like ok, if you see something that's so great, why wouldn't you want it? I guess he just wasn't that into me

The 25 year didnt give me an explanation he just stopped calling.

Okay... them dudes is old enough to be ready for a relationship. You too.

Seriously, don't worry about them. And it's probably not you... we chicas just have to avoid getting caught up and then finding out AFTER the fact that "they don't want a relationship."

And I'm not just talking about "crayons," but if dude gets comfortable with what he's getting from you without a relationship, he'll suddenly be like, "I don't want a relationship," when you start asking about one.

29-year-old seems to just want to be playing the field right now... but yeah, I am seriously cutting dudes off REAL quick if they aren't trying to move forward so that they don't even get the chance to give the, "You're nice, but..." speech.

They'll be long gone before they can even say it!

As long as we remember that WE control our relationships, not them, it will be all good.

 

[Bunny77]

I love reading your posts, Bunny.

I'm single and not feeling so sexy right now.

Awww thanks... and hang in there. It will get better!

 

[FtrDrO]

Yay for the 2009 thread!

Well I'm still single, but I'm dating someone now! I like him and he likes me back. No commitment though. He's a classmate so we've been friends for a few months (we just started school together in Aug) but we only recently became more than friends so we're still trying to feel things out and see how this whole thing works.

He's sooooo cute, sensitive, and sweet. He cooks for me a lot, makes me laugh, and even laughs at my very silly jokes sometimes. He's very mature and very different from a lot of the guys I've dated in the past. He's very thoughtful, and extremely understanding and sooooo not stressful. I'm starting to like him a lot. We get along great and he's a great friend.

However, he's short. Like... really short. We're VERY close in height (I'm like 5'7"). Its probably for the best because if he were taller I would probably be all over him, honestly. Makes it easier for me to maintain my distance and act "Rulesy".

Lol we'll be hanging out and he'll do something to make me laugh and I'll just think "Aww... you're so great, why are you short?" But I'm getting past the height issue. Really he has everything going for him... well, except for one thing that I won't post here.... to give you hint about it, he's West Indian. But I'm wearing him down.......

We're supposed to be going out on a date on Sunday! He's trying to make up for something he did earlier this week that upset me. He's such a sweetheart sometimes....

Congratulations Freelove!!! I hope it works out for you

Hey Bunny! The first guy was 25 and the last one was 29 (he inspired my last thread ) I am 24. I did get attached and I did catch feelings so that made it harder.

I didnt go far with them physically either. I'm glad about that.

It's good you know to part ways early on before it gets serious.

The 29 year old would go on and on about how I was such a great girl, that I'm special, yadda but he just can't be in a relationship. He's never been in one before.

I'm like ok, if you see something that's so great, why wouldn't you want it? I guess he just wasn't that into me

The 25 year didnt give me an explanation he just stopped calling.

I just had the biggest crying session over the bolded. I was dating someone for awhile (way, way, too long of awhile), and while I would hear everything about how great and perfect I was, the future, and how I was "The Standard," and so much more, he tells me that he realizes now that he doesn't see a future with me, even though he used to. Note, he says he realized this a few months ago. So why the hell have you been sucking up all of my benefits and taking all my lovin??? Then he gives me some BS reason about how it's because I like to build up to things and not just lay it out. Mind you, this is because I like to speak in person or talk on the phone if it's an important convo. We never fight and we even seldom have to get to this. But apparently, this was enough to make him change his mind about an "us"; something he never mentioned to me. WTF? All i did and that's the best reason you can give me?? Am I wrong?? I'm not only frustrated with him and cutting him off, but myself as well for letting him get into my heart. And he was one of my closest friends before this. Ughhhh. I swear I wish that we never crossed that line.

Ladies, we really have to let the real men court us, appreciate us, and not make us feel like absolute crap. No more. I'm so tired of it and I refuse to stand for it anymore! I know that I'm a catch, and i will continue being single and sexy until someone else realizes it and makes serious moves.

 

[locabouthair]

Congratulations Freelove!!! I hope it works out for you





I just had the biggest crying session over the bolded. I was dating someone for awhile (way, way, too long of awhile), and while I would hear everything about how great and perfect I was, the future, and how I was "The Standard," and so much more, he tells me that he realizes now that he doesn't see a future with me, even though he used to. Note, he says he realized this a few months ago. So why the hell have you been sucking up all of my benefits and taking all my lovin??? Then he gives me some BS reason about how it's because I like to build up to things and not just lay it out. Mind you, this is because I like to speak in person or talk on the phone if it's an important convo. We never fight and we even seldom have to get to this. But apparently, this was enough to make him change his mind about an "us"; something he never mentioned to me. WTF? All i did and that's the best reason you can give me?? Am I wrong?? I'm not only frustrated with him and cutting him off, but myself as well for letting him get into my heart. And he was one of my closest friends before this. Ughhhh. I swear I wish that we never crossed that line.
Ladies, we really have to let the real men court us, appreciate us, and not make us feel like absolute crap. No more. I'm so tired of it and I refuse to stand for it anymore! I know that I'm a catch, and i will continue being single and sexy until someone else realizes it and makes serious moves.

((HUGS)) I don't blame you for cutting him off. He led you on and played with your feelings.

The second bolded is my EXACT situation. It's hard to go back to friends after that.

Third bolded, That is a very positive attitude you have. Thats how we all need to be.

 

[sunshinebeautiful]

2. The other dude that i liked told me i was undateable

WTF? Based on what?

 

[envybeauty]

Every time a guy has said to a woman that she is great, blah blah but he doesn't think it will work, there is usually a new girl he has met and wants to move on to. Men and women do it. We swing on a rope and don't leap until we see another rope to catch.

Men just don't want to speak the words "I want to be with someone else" unless they want to hurt you. It reduces their guilt if they break away without the extra hurt.

 

[Bunny77]

Every time a guy has said to a woman that she is great, blah blah but he doesn't think it will work, there is usually a new girl he has met and wants to move on to. Men and women do it. We swing on a rope and don't leap until we see another rope to catch.

Men just don't want to speak the words "I want to be with someone else" unless they want to hurt you. It reduces their guilt if they break away without the extra hurt.

Whatever the reasons may be, women need to stop putting stock into dudes saying how wonderful she is and how she could be the one and blah blah blah.

All that is 100000% irrelevant if they aren't trying to be with you exclusively and you should just let it go in one ear and out the other.

 

[locabouthair]

Whatever the reasons may be, women need to stop putting stock into dudes saying how wonderful she is and how she could be the one and blah blah blah.

All that is 100000% irrelevant if they aren't trying to be with you exclusively and you should just let it go in one ear and out the other.

yeah actions speak louder than words.

 

[MzLady78]

I HATE to say this but I'm really losing faith in brothas.

I've had 2 situations in the past 3 days where dudes were just straight up disrespectful and I'm really tired of it.

I know there are sorry *** men in all races, but as a Black woman who would like to find a decent Black man, I'm feeling extremely disheartened right now.

 

[prettypuff1]

WTF? Based on what?

You know i have no idea. We went on ONE DATE to the movies and that was it... I dont know.... It really makes no sense...

 

[BillsBackerz67]

Must be nice to have a date to cancel.

eh...My cancellation and I were friends on FB and he basically started questioning me about my friend who is a professional boxer. I write on his wall all the time and comment on his pics. He got insecure about it and started acting a fool before our first date. Ummmm dude we arent even together for you to question who runs in my social circle...NEXT I removed him from my friends list, blocked him from myspace, and blocked his number so if he calls (which has been about 15 times already) my phone will go straight to VM.

 

[MzLady78]

eh...My cancellation and I were friends on FB and he basically started questioning me about my friend who is a professional boxer. I write on his wall all the time and comment on his pics. He got insecure about it and started acting a fool before our first date. Ummmm dude we arent even together for you to question who runs in my social circle...NEXT I removed him from my friends list, blocked him from myspace, and blocked his number so if he calls (which has been about 15 times already) my phone will go straight to VM.

Ugh.....

Yeah, I can't blame you. That is not cute.

 

[JFemme]

I HATE to say this but I'm really losing faith in brothas.

I've had 2 situations in the past 3 days where dudes were just straight up disrespectful and I'm really tired of it.

I know there are sorry *** men in all races, but as a Black woman who would like to find a decent Black man, I'm feeling extremely disheartened right now.

.................

 

[envybeauty]

Whatever the reasons may be, women need to stop putting stock into dudes saying how wonderful she is and how she could be the one and blah blah blah.

All that is 100000% irrelevant if they aren't trying to be with you exclusively and you should just let it go in one ear and out the other.

True. True.

But sometimes these things happen in exclusive relationships. As in he has been with you and only you then he meets some woman on the job or at church and he thinks he would enjoy a better relationship with her instead. I've seen this. Kinda like the guy who is a serial monogamist.

 

[Bunny77]

True. True.

But sometimes these things happen in exclusive relationships. As in he has been with you and only you then he meets some woman on the job or at church and he thinks he would enjoy a better relationship with her instead. I've seen this. Kinda like the guy who is a serial monogamist.

I know what ya mean.

I've seen that happen too. I just shake my head.

But when it comes to folks that I haven't known all that long going on and on about how great I am, I just kinda smile and think, "That's nice. So, how about those Lions/Tigers/Bears?"

Now I know that some of them will be genuine AND stick around for the very long term. But I'll just wait and let them show me their intentions.

 

[N.P.R. Addict]

I HATE to say this but I'm really losing faith in brothas.

I've had 2 situations in the past 3 days where dudes were just straight up disrespectful and I'm really tired of it.

I know there are sorry *** men in all races, but as a Black woman who would like to find a decent Black man, I'm feeling extremely disheartened right now.

Oh honey! Well you can always open up to PR or Dominican cats.

 

[N.P.R. Addict]

Currently seeing a Professor at Columbia and Pediatric Surgeon. Yes there are two but it is the very early stages and their is no commitment to either because they have not committed to me.

Just a quick follow up, the professor is in the lead but the Doc is still holding on, the truth be told his lack of time is the real hindrance here.

 

[MzLady78]

Oh honey! Well you can always open up to PR or Dominican cats.

LOL.

I would, but Hispanics NEVER approach me.

 

[MzLady78]

Just a quick follow up, the professor is in the lead but the Doc is still holding on, the truth be told his lack of time is the real hindrance here.

Yeah, I was wondering if that was gonna be a problem when I saw your initial post.

 

[N.P.R. Addict]

Yeah, I was wondering if that was gonna be a problem when I saw your initial post.

His career does take a bunch of his time but he is so sweet and whenever we are together, it is great. He has a conference in AZ a couple of weeks that he wants me to attend with him. That maybe the deciding point for us. I will follow up with you guys!

 

[Ms_Delikate]

His career does take a bunch of his time but he is so sweet and whenever we are together, it is great. He has a conference in AZ a couple of weeks that he wants me to attend with him. That maybe the deciding point for us. I will follow up with you guys!

Yay...Good luck:superbanana::superbanana:...let us know!

 

[lowridin76]

Howdy! Newly single, just got out of a 5 year relationship a few weeks ago. I'll just make myself cozy here for a little while. I'm only 20 I'm not in any kind of rush for anything.

 

[sky_blu]

Well he was ok at first, but then he started training again and i guess that means he doesnt have to like call me or talk to me.. I talked to him monday and that was me texting him and he giving me one word answers.. I know that some ladies dont like texting but i hate talking on the phone.... I didnt initiate any contact tues or yesterday and he didnt try to contact me.. I get the impression that he isnt that into me.


i met another guy off POF and he said he was divorced, but then when i talked to him more and more he told me he is still married but that he doent love her blah blah blah....


Same ish different dude

PP whats POF?

 

[Bunny77]

PP whats POF?

Plenty of Fish

 

[Ms_Delikate]

Just wanted to bump this thread....Bump!

 

[MzLady78]

Hello ladies!

Well, it's almost the end of 2009 (I still can't believe it).

Anyone have any updates for us?

 

[Imani]

I'm not dating in 09. Its exhausting. I already work 70hrs/wk. I can't deal w/the drama. Im just focusing on reaching my goals, being happy, and loving life.

I have had a boyfriend since late May 09. I was vehemently opposed at first. I was like, naw, I'm working on me. I was afraid I'd end up letting him suck all of my energy and neglect my personal goals. But I finally gave in. Still working on my goals tho, and have reached some of them while being in a relationship. Its my first real boyfriend and can be a bit much especially with me being an extreme introvert and also trying to put alot of energy on other major personal/professional goals at the same time.

 

[MzLady78]

I have had a boyfriend since late May 09. I was vehemently opposed at first. I was like, naw, I'm working on me. I was afraid I'd end up letting him suck all of my energy and neglect my personal goals. But I finally gave in. Still working on my goals tho, and have reached some of them while being in a relationship. Its my first real boyfriend and can be a bit much especially with me being an extreme introvert and also trying to put alot of energy on other major personal/professional goals at the same time.

Aww, that's great!

 

[Kiadodie]

Well, I will be going into 2010 single. This year has been a year of revelation and growth for me personally. It’s been a rough road with so many lessons but at the same time with those lessons, there are gifts. I’m truly finding out who I really am and above all else, I’m learning self love and self acceptance and it shows because things, circumstances and people around me are changing. The dates that I’ve had are not the ‘typical” guy that I would date. The typical guy for me was the player, unemotional type guy. I’ve been going to therapy and it’s been amazing the things that I’ve found out about myself. This quote describes what I’ve been going through and where I am now:

"The spiritual journey does not consist in arriving at a new destination where a person gains what he did not have, or becomes what he is not. It consists in the dissipation of one's own ignorance concerning one's self and life, and the gradual growth of that understanding which begins the spiritual awakening. The finding of God is a coming to one’s self. “

So, I’m still on this path but I’ve noticed my aura is changing and new things are coming my way…good things. I’ve come to terms with being single and enjoying this phase that I’m in. I have my bad days when I feel lonely but then I look at what I DO have and thank God for that. I really believe that someone will come into my life when I’m ready. I still have more work to do as far as self acceptance goes but I’ve come a long way.

So..I’m going into the 2010 with hope and a positive mind set.

 

[Imani]

Aww, that's great!

:scratchch Its funny, seems like soon as I start just chilling and not being concerned about ninjas is always when they come out the woodworks!

When I was looking, ninjas was no where to be found! Lol.

My number 1 goal for 2009 was to Fall in Love with Life and I think I made great progress on that goal.