2017 Relationship And Dating Thread

[natural2008]

We talked again this morning he's moving out the first week of next month. He called his parents in front of me to make sure he can move in with them.

Yes, you dodged a bullet. He's moving out and can't move out on his own but has to move back with his parents. Change your locks and of your codes. I would like for him to move out now. I think he's still going to try to pull some tricks out of his sleeve.

 

[qchelle]

His CIO gave all his staff a $500 Amazon gift card. (What a nice CIO!) So I got a Bluetooth basal body thermometer, wireless earphones, this eye cream from that great products for black women thread, and my fav juicy couture perfume. He hasn't bought anything yet. ....hope he does soon before I spend the rest lol

 

[qchelle]

He went to his dad's fight party last night. His dad lives 5mins away from him, so I volunteered to pick him up since he'd be drinking. Why did I do that? The damn fight didn't start til after 12 so i was pissed off when I got him cuz it was after 1 o'damnclock Today we were both like why didn't we just have his dad take him home? (His dad doesn't drink) like duhhh lol

And when I went to pick him up, of course I didn't have a bra on cuz it was 1am, and of course his dad came out to see me, and of course he wanted me to meet his cousin -_____- siiiigh. I didn't get out of the car. I'm glad I didn't have my scarf on, cuz I would have, had it already been on

 

[qchelle]

Aaaand I found the ring. In his nightstand! What is wrong with him? Smh I wasn't even looking for it! (was looking for something else) I knew he wasn't that smart

I'm telling y'all this cuz I can't tell anyone else lol.

When I first found it, it was still in the bag, with the bag tied up. The ring was loose in the bag, not secured in its box. So I couldn't take it out.

This weekend when I looked (in the same spot lmao) the bag was open and no ring! Right beside it was a ring box. So I open it, and there it is! So I took it out and put it on. And OMG this thing SO freaking gorgeous!!!! It is sooo sparkly!!! It sparkles like 1 of those battery operated necklaces! I didn't realize the center stone would look so big!! (When I tried it on at the store, they were never able to correctly sit the diamond on the setting without it falling over.) I want to wear it all the time so bad!! He'd better give me this thing wayyyy before Christmas!

Yes yes, I feel like a douche for trying it on, yea yea yea lol.

 

[oneastrocurlie]

When I first found it, it was still in the bag, with the bag tied up. The ring was loose in the bag, not secured in its box. So I couldn't take it out.

This weekend when I looked (in the same spot lmao) the bag was open and no ring! Right beside it was a ring box. So I open it, and there it is! So I took it out and put it on. And OMG this thing SO freaking gorgeous!!!! It is sooo sparkly!!! It sparkles like 1 of those battery operated necklaces! I didn't realize the center stone would look so big!! (When I tried it on at the store, they were never able to correctly sit the diamond on the setting without it falling over.) I want to wear it all the time so bad!! He'd better give me this thing wayyyy before Christmas!

Yes yes, I feel like a douche for trying it on, yea yea yea lol.

Do you think you might know when he'll do it? Idk if I couldn't take it any longer especially after having tried it on.

Christmas is too far away!

 

[qchelle]

Do you think you might know when he'll do it? Idk if I couldn't take it any longer especially after having tried it on.

Christmas is too far away!

Ikr. Life is keeping me busy/my mind occupied. I think he'll do it either the last weekend in Sept or the first weekend in Oct.

Yesterday he was asking me for proposal ideas again (see, he doesn't care alllll that much about the surprise element). He said it's hard thinking of something. I gave him some ideas. But I ended with idc how you do it, the proposal is for you, I just want my ring I really couldn't care less how he does it. I told him he could do it in the house, for all I care. He said it'll probably be semi-public. His friend who just proposed to his fiance did it at the 4 seasons in Baltimore, and had rose petals spread outside in a heart shape, etc blah blah. I said babe, please don't waste so much time; just hand it over

 

[toaster]

Ikr. Life is keeping me busy/my mind occupied. I think he'll do it either the last weekend in Sept or the first weekend in Oct.

Yesterday he was asking me for proposal ideas again (see, he doesn't care alllll that much about the surprise element). He said it's hard thinking of something. I gave him some ideas. But I ended with idc how you do it, the proposal is for you, I just want my ring I really couldn't care less how he does it. I told him he could do it in the house, for all I care. He said it'll probably be semi-public. His friend who just proposed to his fiance did it at the 4 seasons in Baltimore, and had rose petals spread outside in a heart shape, etc blah blah. I said babe, please don't waste so much time; just hand it over

Public proposals always make me cringe for some reason.

At least at weddings and showers and engagement parties there is alcohol and food and music and other people to hang out with.

I'm just supposed to randomly be at the park and watch you get engaged and then go home? No thanks. Do that on your own time.

 

[qchelle]

Public proposals always make me cringe for some reason.

At least at weddings and showers and engagement parties there is alcohol and food and music and other people to hang out with.

I'm just supposed to randomly be at the park and watch you get engaged and then go home? No thanks. Do that on your own time.

tell us how you feel! I've never seen a proposal IRL. You've seen a few?

But yea, that was actually one of the suggestions I gave him: a walk around the park

 

[toaster]

tell us how you feel! I've never seen a proposal IRL. You've seen a few?

But yea, that was actually one of the suggestions I gave him: a walk around the park

Hahaha it really is just how I feel!

I always go along when my friends are getting married because it's their day/season and who cares what I think? But attending a proposal sucks. I much prefer surprise engagement parties.

I think public proposals are fun if I just run into one and I don't know the couple.

My dream engagement happens in a hotel over breakfast in bed.

 

[qchelle]

Hahaha it really is just how I feel!

I always go along when my friends are getting married because it's their day/season and who cares what I think? But attending a proposal sucks. I much prefer surprise engagement parties.

I think public proposals are fun if I just run into one and I don't know the couple.

My dream engagement happens in a hotel over breakfast in bed.

Oh wow! You've attended planned proposals? Yea, that's weird

Ohh I love your dream engagement! I would like that, too. hmmmm.

 

[movingforward13]

Yesterday he was asking me for proposal ideas again (see, he doesn't care alllll that much about the surprise element). He said it's hard thinking of something. I gave him some ideas.

Google solves EVERYTHING -
https://howheasked.com/marriage-proposal-ideas-actually-unique/

https://www.theknot.com/content/romantic-ways-to-propose

http://www.since1910.com/engagement-ring-blog/top-100-proposal-ideas/

And tons more at his finger tips <3 <3 <3

 

[toaster]

Oh wow! You've attended planned proposals? Yea, that's weird

Ohh I love your dream engagement! I would like that, too. hmmmm.

Yes ma'am. Everyone shows up and watches and goes home.

Like, I love you (insert friend name here) but I don't need to be there when you conceive your child to play an integral role in that child's life.

I don't need to be at your proposal to be excited for your future relationship as husband and wife. I'll still jump for joy when you call/ send me a picture. I promise.

 

[oneastrocurlie]

Yeah I've been to a surprise public proposal at a restaurant. I couldn't hear anything he was saying cause it was too many to us and my friends and I were in the back. It was nice to chop it up with my friends though.

Another happened at Thanksgiving. That cousin is now married to someone else.

 

[MissNina]

We started couples/premarital counseling today. I really like our counselor! We were able to discuss a recurring issue we haven't been able to work through fully Bc we feel so strongly opposite about it. I'm EXTREMELY happy about that progress, although she wasn't completely on my side as she OBVIOUSLY should've been

She went over time with us by like 10 mins even with someone waiting Bc she swears we are one of the most gorgeous couples she's ever worked with, so she firmly believes we have got to work it all out I was shocked at how much she gushed about that, but ppl do say we look really good together.

We plan on seeing her once a month & have some required reading to do prior to next visit, so we'll be hitting the library this week.

 

[sarumoki]

He keeps telling me he wants me to be softer and sweeter and I want that too. I stay reading books on the subject but then all that goes out the window when it's time to actually apply what I've read.

 

[sarumoki]

He cooked for me again. Bless his little heart, but ain't no way this fool would be allowed in my kitchen if we ever lived together.

I pretended to like it to spare his feelings, though.

 

[qchelle]

He cooked for me again. Bless his little heart, but ain't no way this fool would be allowed in my kitchen if we ever lived together.

I pretended to like it to spare his feelings, though.

aww

 

[sarumoki]

I think his ex (kid's mother) is trying to work her way back in. He's basically had zero reaction to her shenanigans but it still annoys me.

 

[MCMLXXXIV]

D

 

[qchelle]

^^^how old is your guy and what reasons did he give?

 

[qchelle]

She asked and I said yes! I'm a bridesmaid in my friends wedding in October

So I'll have to tell my other friend that I can't come to her wedding (it's the same day and I like that friend^^^way more lol).

Me and the MOH are finally done planning the bachelorette party. It's very low key. The day after the engagement party cuz the bride and groom will only be in town for the weekend.

The wedding is in a different state. So I also just finished paying for the flight and boarding accommodations. I am hemorrhaging money -___-

 

[MCMLXXXIV]

D

 

[toaster]

@keish33 Do you believe him? In the year you've been together what steps has he made towards accomplishing those goals?

There are a few ways this could go:

1) he has serious plans and goals and you all continue to date (or even get married) but he still doesn't want kids until he accomplishes the goals, leaving you potentially childless

2) he has serious plans and goals and you all get married and have kids while he pursues his goals. Where does that leave you? Fully supporting him? What is your support system like? Does he have to choose to get his degree online instead of moving to wherever the best university that he's accepted to is? Does he resent you for it? Are you overwhelmed?

3) his plans are BS and you know it, in which case... why would you want to date someone like that?

There are stories of couples making sacrifices together and growing together and there are couples that do what they have to do individually before getting married and starting a family and all kinds of couples in between.

If you're 100% on kids in 2 years you need a low risk option.

 

[sarumoki]

@keish33 How far into the relationship did you guys have the kids talk? Is it something you discussed earlier in the relationship where he said okay and then he's backing out, or is this the first time you're bringing it up with him?

 

[MCMLXXXIV]

D

 

[Iammoney]

Whoo boy...

So I just got off the phone with the psychic that @UniquelyDivine recommended, and I believe @movingforward13 you had a reading with her too, right? It was a short conversation but it was a doozy. We talked about three main things:

First thing she said was "Are you looking to change jobs?" Which I was on the fence about, because I love my job but it doesn't leave much room for growth and it's not exactly what I want to do, just adjacent to it. She told me to go ahead and start looking. She said that she sees two opportunities coming my way. One will be very close to what I'm used to, and the other will be very different and very challenging but I'll love it. I find it interesting that she didn't bring up that I'd be choosing between them, so now I'm wondering if the one that was different is the side hustle that I've been thinking about getting into. She mentioned that both opportunities would be successful for me, and that I should start my new job search next week. That timeline is interesting to me because there's a certificate that I just completed which I'm waiting for in the mail, so now I'm wondering if it will arrive sometime in the next week. That certificate would open up my search to a bunch of jobs that I wouldn't qualify for if I didn't have it.

Next, my relationship. She asked me if I get the sense that he wavers from being all-in to being less into it, which he does. One minute I'm the one and he wants to marry me, the next minute he needs time to think and he wants to take things slow. She said to give him time and to be patient with him because she feels that he wants to be with me, but he's been badly hurt twice in the past and the past hurt is driving all of his decisions with regard to me and making him extra cautious. I know that his ex, his son's mother, cheated on him but I have no idea what that second hurt could be so now I'm curious. She said that by seven months from now, I should have an exact idea of where his head is and that around that time I should make my decision on whether I want to stay or go. She said that if I choose to leave, she sees one other man in my future, but she warned me that he won't show up for a very long time.

Then she said that in a few years, I'll be purchasing my ideal home, and that the direction west is jumping out at her. That was so weird to me, because my dream house is in a neighborhood on the west side of my town, but there's no way I can see myself being able to afford that house, or any other, in just a few years. Like I said in another thread: I's broke, y'all. Idk. I might give her another call with some followup questions.

Can you please tell me how I can get in touch with this psychic

 

[SuchMagnificent]

My baby is starting a new job next week, I am so proud of him. He said he didnt want to celebrate but I think I will still do something for him.

I think Im going to bake him a red velvet cake from scratch anyway. Nothing major but just enough to make his chest poke out a bit.

Eta: he say he want homemade tacos

 

[oneastrocurlie]

We're going our of town for a surprise party and I soooo wanna stay in a hotel. His family is the "can't sleep in the same room unless you're married" type and we're staying at his aunt's.

Yay.

 

[Fine 4s]

Lawd have mercy the gal gave me the backup-off-my-man look when I went to greet him and his group. Geesh! I was with someone...
Can't stand that.

 

[BGT]

So I haven't posted at all in here since my breakup earlier this summer. I was distraught and hurt because it happened 1.5 weeks into an internship, and I was so far away from family and friends. I didn't let that stop me from doing my best work this summer. Fast forward to a few days before I left, one of the guys I worked alongside gave me his phone number, and we've been talking everyday. The other night we FaceTimed until 4 AM. It may not move past a flirtation/fling (we are making plans to see each other), but I am happy.