2017 Relationship And Dating Thread

I feel like we're extremely close now after his grandmother's funeral and it was nice meeting everyone else in his extended family. We've been with them off and on since Thursday and his mother is already asking when we're going to come back. We talked last night about our parent's finally meeting each other since we've officially been together for 3 years.
 
BF and I have been on two separate planets these last few months. Its a combination of things and it has become worse and worse. I am starting to feel like we need a break from other another. At this point we are together for our daughter, not one another. Houston we have a problem!
 
This is going to be a sort of scrambled post but my thoughts.

I've been reading more about femininity and the single woman and while I can't say I have actively incorporated any of the author's techniques, I have a natural way with men that I was looking to polish into something more powerful. In the book, the author stresses that in order to be worth having, you have to be a woman with value and one thing that adds value is having a strong character: men seek out women that are morally better than they are, it's part of what drives them to treat a woman well.

So funny story: a man I'm very casually seeing invited me to a strip club for his birthday. I was actually pretty excited to go and got all dressed up, only to have car trouble and have to turn around. I leave him a message apologizing and go on with my life. A day later he calls me and tells me he was actually glad I didn't go because he holds me in such high regard (ding, ding, ding!) that his friends would've embarrassed him. He says he would've flipped if he saw any of them trying to talk to me.

I was really looking forward to going and so annoyed over my car and my absence only ended up heightening my status in his mind. Even though he has been dying to see me, the fact that I wasn't there only made my presence that much stronger. Now, I have nothing wrong with strip clubs, morally or otherwise :lol:, but it was very interesting to see it played out after reading about it in the book.

Ironically, he knows I've been looking for a new job, so he invited me to a professional black networking event. It almost seems reactionary, lol. But he went on to say a lot of really kind, thoughtful things about intelligent he found me and how much potential I have (ding, ding, ding!) and this event is right up my alley so it should be fun. I hope there will be food.
 
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hunnychile said:
This is going to be a sort of scrambled post but my thoughts.

I've been reading more about femininity and the single woman and while I can't say I have actively incorporated any of the author's techniques, I have a natural way with men that I was looking to polish into something more powerful. In the book, the author stresses that in order to be worth having, you have to be a woman with value and one thing that adds value is having a strong character: men seek out women that are morally better than they are, it's part of what drives them to treat a woman well.

So funny story: a man I'm very casually seeing invited me to a strip club for his birthday. I was actually pretty excited to go and got all dressed up, only to have car trouble and have to turn around. I leave him a message apologizing and go on with my life. A day later he calls me and tells me he was actually glad I didn't go because he holds me in such high regard (ding, ding, ding!) that his friends would've embarrassed him. He says he would've flipped if he saw any of them trying to talk to me.

I was really looking forward to going and so annoyed over my car and my absence only ended up heightening my status in his mind. Even though he has been dying to see me, the fact that I wasn't there only made my presence that much stronger. Now, I have nothing wrong with strip clubs, morally or otherwise :lol:, but it was very interesting to see it played out after reading about it in the book.

Ironically, he knows I've been looking for a new job, so he invited me to a professional black networking event. It almost seems reactionary, lol. But he went on to say a lot of really kind, thoughtful things about intelligent he found me and how much potential I have (ding, ding, ding!) and this event is right up my alley so it should be fun. I hope there will be food.
Click to expand...

What's the name of the book?
 
hunnychile said:
Ironically, he knows I've been looking for a new job, so he invited me to a professional black networking event. It almost seems reactionary, lol. But he went on to say a lot of really kind, thoughtful things about intelligent he found me and how much potential I have (ding, ding, ding!) and this event is right up my alley so it should be fun.
Click to expand...
I know someone who is doing something similar for me. He sent me a job asking if I knew anyone and I let him know my good friend was the CEO of the competition. Since then,there have been little things but I will watch it for a few months.
 
Quick! What do y'all ladies wear for a house date?

We're not together, but we're comfortable enough to post up in the house every now and then.
 
So, I was laid up under him and my big kinky curly hair was getting in the way. He asked me was it my natural hair. Now, my leave out is in two braids for blending purposes which means my tracks are exposed. I said you see the tracks and he just started chuckling.

Also, it was either prep the leave out or have a fro on top of my the kinky curly hair... he can see a track or two.
 
My Mac has been acting up and Apple said they would have to keep it for a few days to fix it. Since I use my computer for work and they don't have extras ones laying around I've been trying to make it work until I go on vacation in a few weeks. That's when I'll let apple keep it because I'll be off work.

He came over yesterday with his Mac and told me I could use it as long as I needed to.
 
Me and my man made it official. Weve been dating for 3.5 months. He's a great guy but there are a couple of things that urk me. For example, if women are in close vicinity, he looks to see if they are checking him out and its super obvious to both the women and me. This annoys me. Also, I noticed women flirting with him on a couple of different occasions.i do get that women will check him out..hes an attractive man (white women are bold by the way) and he friendly replies back to them. I guess I'm used to my ex quickly shutting things down with women/not seeking admiration from other women. What would u ladies do?
 
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CarmelCupcake said:
Me and my man made it official. Weve been dating for 3.5 months. He's a great guy but there are a couple of things that urk me. For example, if women are in close vicinity, he looks to see if they are checking him out and its super obvious to both the women and me. This annoys me. Also, I noticed a white woman flirting with him on a couple of different occasions...which i get....hes an attractive man (white women are bold by the way) and he friendly replies back to them. I guess I'm used to my ex quickly shutting things down with women/not seeking admiration from other women. What would u ladies do?
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I would have addressed it before becoming official. I don't tolerate not having undivided attention from a fwb, I'm certainly not going to do so from my boyfriend.

As to how to address it, idk. I'm pretty straightforward and confrontational. I'm a Taurus, we're just like that. But I'll admit that it doesn't always go well that way.
 
I lurk on this side of the board often but haven't posted in a lonnnngggg time. SO and I have been in a relationship for 2+ years. We are both divorced, he's been divorced for 8+years and was only married for 2. He and his ex don't have any type of relationship, no children and she's remarried.

Issue: I was scrolling IG the other day, the search page that brings up random folks based on your likes, friends, etc. and I notice a picture of her. I'm nosy so I take a closer look and I see SO has liked the pic. I dig deeper - LOL He follows her and has liked several pics. She posts often. She doesn't follow him.

I feel some kind of way - not insecure or angry, just like why? Y'all don't even talk and haven't in years. My ex and I at least speak a few times a year but I don't follow him on any social media because I don't care about anything that he might post.

What say you LHCF? I want to address it because I feel like he's holding on to some degree by following her AND liking pictures.
 
All4Tris said:
A casual dress with some flat sandals.
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Sosoothing said:
I casual jumpsuit. Something made of soft clingy material.
Click to expand...

I wore a drapey tank and jeans. There was some sideboob action going on which I think made it sexy. I liked the jumpsuit idea. Too bad I don't own one :lol:

I am comfortable with house dates even though we're not a couple. He's the one that always wants to go out, which is why I'm not worried about him getting lazy. We both want to go dancing. I picked a nice lounge for our next date and a local brunch spot for the next morning, but he doesn't know that yet.

I guess my eating habits aren't so bad cus I only keep water in my house. I never buy juice or soda. I'll have some Gatorade stocked for the next time he's here (since its his preference).
 
@reallynow I would want to ask. But, how do you go about asking without letting him know that you've been snooping (if you care about that)? Other than this, has he given you reason to believe that he still has feelings for her?
 
All4Tris said:
@reallynow I would want to ask. But, how do you go about asking without letting him know that you've been snooping (if you care about that)? Other than this, has he given you reason to believe that he still has feelings for her?
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I agree. Doesn't matter if he calls you "nosy" or whatever, you need to ask him calmly /casually in person why he still follows her. His response is important
 
@All4Tris and @kimpaur

I'm not worried about him calling me nosy/a snoop, I wasn't looking for it. Her IG post popped up on my search page because of his likes. I don't control IG's algorithm. Oh well bruh. Plus, he's not really the type to go there about snooping, etc.

He's never given any indication that he still has feelings for her which is one reason I was shocked when I found out.

I'm going to ask him and see what his response is - agree that it will give me good insight.
 
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