Thread for the heartbroken

Had a brief crying spell yesterday while listening to music. Kind of caught me off guard. I don't think it was as much about him as it was just feeling lonely. This is by far the longest I've gone without any male companionship, and it's becoming increasingly harder. I think it's the summer and not wanting to be out doing things alone ALL. THE. TIME.

I've come to accept that these moments are gonna happen and it's ok. I just can't stay there and wallow. I put on Carl Thomas' "Special Lady", it makes me feel better. It's a reminder to myself that I am, and maybe, just maybe, one day someone else will think so too.
 
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MzLady78 said:
Had a brief crying spell yesterday while listening to music. Kind of caught me off guard. I don't think it was as much about him as it was just feeling lonely. This is by far the longest I've gone without any male companionship, and it's becoming increasingly harder. I think it's the summer and not wanting to be out doing things alone ALL. THE. TIME.

I've come to accept that these moments are gonna happen and it's ok. I just can't stay there and wallow. I put on Carl Thomas' "Special Lady", it makes me feel better. It's a reminder to myself that I am, and maybe, just maybe, one day someone else will think so too.
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:grouphug:
 
I'm not heartbroken but my feelings are in shambles, I'm mad at him & myself for falling for the okey doke. I was doing so well before he came around & he came in like a breath of fresh air.

I think the worst part is knowing that he really does seem to have amazing qualities but he's a drunk & that overshadows everything. He knew what I was about and what I wanted & my reservations from jump, he knew/knows he has this problem. I wish he would've just left me alone
 
*deep breath*
*exhales slowly*

I have gotten to page 12, I wanted to read the entire thread before posting. I went to bed at 1:30 and was back up by 4. I can't even find solace in sleep.

I'm not hurting or at least I can't feel the hurt. I feel absolutely nothing. It's almost like my neurons have been singed and the damage is beyond repair.

I want to have the breakdown in the confinement of my home. I know it's coming, just not sure when. I know that I am in a state of shock and that my mind is protecting me.

I want to cry but the tears won't come.
 
gn1g said:
Daernyris, when did the breakup happen?
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OFFICIALLY it hasn't.............yet

But I would say yesterday when he didn't properly end our call while answering a Skype call. Imagine me sitting there talking to my man, I hear a vibration sound, assume it is his phone going dead (you remember how you could hear it back in the day?) He says hold on, I'm thinking he is getting the charger to plug into the phone. He starts speaking, I assume he is talking to me so I start talking but hear this female voice. The connection was slightly bad at first so I did not realize that he was answering a call. Actually, I thought I was hearing him converse with someone in passing. He then says, "Baby! Baby!" I answered

And guess what.............so did she

But for whatever reason they couldn't hear me speaking. So I got quiet and listened. More so because I was shocked and trying to grapple with the fact that he was professing his love to another woman. As I said the connection was bad so he was saying 'I love you' repeatedly. His behavior was giddy, almost like that of an excited teenage boy. I felt like I was eavesdropping on strangers. To a degree I did cause.......well.......who is he?
How do you love a man, share your body, your mind, your soul, your time, your everything and he be a stranger to you?

I'm not sure how it happened but I am glad that it did...........the phone call that is. I was just telling him on Monday that I wanted my life back. I felt terrible because his reaction seemed genuinely like that of a man who was crushed, like the wind had been knocked out of him...........that he was blindsided.

Minutes before Skypegate this fool was telling me that I was just throwing in the towel on us after all this time
^^^^^^^ I really feel like doing a crazy, hysterical laugh after typing this drivel

When I tell you I feel nothing, I mean just that nothing...........not sadness, not happiness, not anger, not even depression. I don't feel dumb or stupid. I don't even feel hunger. I haven't eaten since 10 yesterday morning and haven't felt one hunger pang.​

I'm always amazed at how you know what you know but don't know how you know, if that makes sense

Thank you ladies for listening
​
 
I am always acutely aware that all things happen for my good for a reason. You are numb now and I pray that your heart does not wax cold. Lord heal her every EVERY where she hurts even in the deepest recesses of her soul. I pray for restoration in matters of her hurt for Lord I know that you are the potter and we are the clay and it is your desire to put us back together again. I know you Lord as a mender of broken hearts. Now Father encamp strong healing ministering angels around about my sister today and take her thru this process in the best way possible Amen.

Daernyris I am praying for you. I've been there before, the best thing is that I lose all kinds of weight and my skin becomes radiant, men come out of the wood work. Keep your head up God has plans for you Jerm 29:11
 
gn1g said:
I am always acutely aware that all things happen for my good for a reason. You are numb now and I pray that your heart does not wax cold. Lord heal her every EVERY where she hurts even in the deepest recesses of her soul. I pray for restoration in matters of her hurt for Lord I know that you are the potter and we are the clay and it is your desire to put us back together again. I know you Lord as a mender of broken hearts. Now Father encamp strong healing ministering angels around about my sister today and take her thru this process in the best way possible Amen.

Daernyris I am praying for you. I've been there before, the best thing is that I lose all kinds of weight and my skin becomes radiant, men come out of the wood work. Keep your head up God has plans for you Jerm 29:11
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@gn1g
:kiss:Thanks sis
 
UniquelyDivine said:
I'm not heartbroken but my feelings are in shambles, I'm mad at him & myself for falling for the okey doke. I was doing so well before he came around & he came in like a breath of fresh air.

I think the worst part is knowing that he really does seem to have amazing qualities but he's a drunk & that overshadows everything. He knew what I was about and what I wanted & my reservations from jump, he knew/knows he has this problem. I wish he would've just left me alone
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Addicts of any kind care primarily about getting their fix, whatever that may be. That is their priority. Not you, not your well-being, not their relationship. And addicts are always in denial so they will not admit that 1) they are an addict and 2) that you are not a priority to them. Writing all that to say that is why he didn't leave you alone. He wants to drink and he wants a nice, loving, supportive woman, plain and simple, and you getting hurt is out of his view because he is so focused on having his needs met first and foremost. He wants a woman to fill his needs not for a real relationship.

I am so very sorry this man slithered his way into your life and hurt you. (((Hugs)))
 
hopeful said:
Addicts of any kind care primarily about getting their fix, whatever that may be. That is their priority. Not you, not your well-being, not their relationship. And addicts are always in denial so they will not admit that 1) they are an addict and 2) that you are not a priority to them. Writing all that to say that is why he didn't leave you alone. He wants to drink and he wants a nice, loving, supportive woman, plain and simple, and you getting hurt is out of his view because he is so focused on having his needs met first and foremost. He wants a woman to fill his needs not for a real relationship.

I am so very sorry this man slithered his way into your life and hurt you. (((Hugs)))
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Thank you for this little bit of insight, this was my first and, I pray, my last time dealing with an addict so it was really hard to understand his motives and reason for his behavior. Your post has helped to open my eyes a little bit more...Thank you
 
Don't know if I even belong in this thread since we were only friends but my heart is definitely broken. My best friend of two years cut me off today over a silly argument. Blocked my number and everything, and says he's completely done.

The worst part is that my mother is sick right now and I begged him to at least wait until she's better and he told me that timing was not his concern. I feel so hurt and lost and betrayed. We'd been best friends for two years. Helped each other with everything, been there for each other through horribly nasty breakups and family drama and whatever else. For the past seven months we spent almost every day together. And now all of that is gone over a dumb argument. I still can't even process that this is really happening right now.
 
I've been trying so hard to get over this breakup, but my feelings are all over the place. Most days I am sad, other days I am hopeful about finding someone new and moving on. I thought that I had finally got a grip on my emotions and could be a little happier, but then I got a letter in the mail about my ex. Now all I have is worry, hurt and other things.
 
This has been a rough time for me. I think I just broke up with my boyfriend. We have been together and abstinent for 2 years. He still doesn't know if he wants to marry me. I felt the urge to end it. I could be courting my future husband right now not wasting time with him. I told him from the start I want to get married. I don't want to be abstinent and waiting for years to come never knowing when the marriage will come.

I feel sad yet relieved and scared to date again. I don't know if I will regret this. I don't feel heart broken but I'm scared it's coming. I don't want to date. I just want to find the one and not have to through any more relationships. I need prayer please.
 
@Bunnyhaslonghair
I don't know the backstory re you and your guy but I got this strong feeling from reading your post that you definitely made the right decision. After two years you should definitely move on. Sounds like he is wasting your time. Two years is a long time. You shouldn't have to beg a guy to marry you. It should be him convincing you, proving himself worthy.
 
hopeful said:
@Bunnyhaslonghair
I don't know the backstory re you and your guy but I got this strong feeling from reading your post that you definitely made the right decision. After two years you should definitely move on. Sounds like he is wasting your time. Two years is a long time. You shouldn't have to beg a guy to marry you. It should be him convincing you, proving himself worthy.
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Thanks for your nice post @hopeful. He just texted me 'hey' not too long ago. I was doing ok today considering, but his text opened the door to so many emotions. He ask how I was doing and I said “Ok”. Then he said he's glad I'm doing ok. I asked him how he's doing and he said he didn't want to talk. I said, why did you contact me then? He just said to see how I was doing.

I went on anyway to explain how there's no one else, I just want be married. He said ok and he understands. I told him I feel like he wasted my time, energy, and emotion and I told him not to contact me for a while. He just said Ok.

How can he be so cold and short? I thought he loved me more than that. He is not even putting up a fight for us. He has done so much for me and been a good boyfriend
I know he's not a bad guy. I know I ended things but i always thought he would fight for us. maybe I'm hypocritical to think that. I'm just going to cry myself to sleep and immerse myself in work tom.
 
Bunnyhaslonghair said:
Thanks for your nice post @hopeful. He just texted me 'hey' not too long ago. I was doing ok today considering, but his text opened the door to so many emotions. He ask how I was doing and I said “Ok”. Then he said he's glad I'm doing ok. I asked him how he's doing and he said he didn't want to talk. I said, why did you contact me then? He just said to see how I was doing.

I went on anyway to explain how there's no one else, I just want be married. He said ok and he understands. I told him I feel like he wasted my time, energy, and emotion and I told him not to contact me for a while. He just said Ok.

How can he be so cold and short? I thought he loved me more than that. He is not even putting up a fight for us. He has done so much for me and been a good boyfriend
I know he's not a bad guy. I know I ended things but i always thought he would fight for us. maybe I'm hypocritical to think that. I'm just going to cry myself to sleep and immerse myself in work tom.
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Honestly I think they don't put up a fight because they secretly wanted to break up but didn't have the courage. So they passive aggressively force their gf's hand so it looks like she wanted out instead. Be strong. He's putting up a good front though. I'm sure he is sad. He's being cold and short to protect himself. You will have to do whatever you need to do to protect yourself as well.
 
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