♥~♥ SINGLE MOTHERS SUPPORT THREAD! ♥~♥

Bublin said:
Question about online dating.
I know I don't want anymore children so what do I do when a guy messages me but his profile says he wants kids. It is not worth pursuing? Should I just ignore that fact and go with the flow? I just presume they haven't noticed that fact on my profile and it seems a bit too heavy to mention it.
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If he has some other good qualities then I will give him a look but I have tend to keep it moving. I am moving to another stage in life with my kids going off to college soon. If he has older or younger kids that is fine as long as he isn't look for me to produce one for him
 
So today was the MLK holiday so had DD here. It's been a crazy crazy weekend. Much of it centering around keeping her busy, clean (lol), up on the homework, etc. I am too through! My gawd.

Kids in and out my house alllllllllllllllllll day since after school Friday. Or we were out with other playdates. I will definately need the break. Her father is coming for his three days in a couple hours.

My main complaint lately is his lack of keeping up on her hygeine. I mean, she's there 50% of the time and he will not make her stanky arse get in the tub! He has expressed he is getting uncomfy because she is a girl (but only 7!) and still requires some assistance. SO! Just turn the water on the shower, giver her a cloth and some soap and let her have at it.! Jeez. How hard can it be?!?

Speaking of, just about time to wash her up and give her hair a trim....
 
Speaking of all these kids--there's 2 in our hood that are in here all the time. And these jokers really have depleted my pantry! Ugh. IDK what to do with a very social outgoing child and PAYING for all these kids to have snacks when they are here for extended periods. I hate to feel like a jerk by sending them home to have a sandwhich or granola bars, but I might have to...
 
DarkJoy said:
Speaking of all these kids--there's 2 in our hood that are in here all the time. And these jokers really have depleted my pantry! Ugh. IDK what to do with a very social outgoing child and PAYING for all these kids to have snacks when they are here for extended periods. I hate to feel like a jerk by sending them home to have a sandwhich or granola bars, but I might have to...
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. Honey, even on your day off your work is never done is it? For those kids, they would just have to be satisfied with a peanut butter and jelly sandwich and a smile ; a single mom's budget doesn't included other people's kids! Lol.
 
Just wait until you have to drive them to and from their events. Saturday was a mall and movie outing. Tomorrow a friends house, Wednesday a bday party. I am planning on buying my son more driver classes bc this taxi driving is for the birds. I hope to have my two oldest driving by summer.
 
I am so freaking happy. I got the job I've been waiting for!!! So hoping this works out. Now off to figure out the child care situation with my son now that I'll be working again
 
Single mom chiming in here! I'm a single mother of a beautiful, energetic and precocious 3.5 year old. I've recently re-entered the work force after being unemployed for a few months and I cannot begin to tell you how much of a relief and burden that has been lifted off of me! My twin had really held me down when things were really rough and uplifted me when my hope dissipated and I was really depressed. Just trying to get my health back in order since I was so stressed out previously. My son's father does his bare minimum, so everything pretty much falls on me. I haven't dated in about 4 years and I have a lot of apprehension about it because I haven't met anyone even worth a cup of coffee. I'm just trying to restart my life again, get my house in order and hope to get back to daoriginaldiva like I used to be.
 
daoriginaldiva said:
Single mom chiming in here! I'm a single mother of a beautiful, energetic and precocious 3.5 year old. I've recently re-entered the work force after being unemployed for a few months and I cannot begin to tell you how much of a relief and burden that has been lifted off of me! My twin had really held me down when things were really rough and uplifted me when my hope dissipated and I was really depressed. Just trying to get my health back in order since I was so stressed out previously. My son's father does his bare minimum, so everything pretty much falls on me. I haven't dated in about 4 years and I have a lot of apprehension about it because I haven't met anyone even worth a cup of coffee. I'm just trying to restart my life again, get my house in order and hope to get back to daoriginaldiva like I used to be.
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I can't believe he's 3 1/2 already, I remember when he was born! :lol:

Congrats on the job. You too, SweetlyCurly!
 
Congrats SweetlyCurly!!! :yay:

Welcome daoriginaldiva!! :bighug:

Bklynqueen I wish it was that easy as giving them PBJ. This is California. These freaking parents. One has their kid on the Paleo diet! Paleo!! No gluten, no wheat. The other's parents secretly have her on a diet because she's overweight. Nothing containing sugar or carbs.... So maybe I'll just hand out some damn carrot sticks and call it a day. They're cheap anyway...

3jsmom I'm just catching the beginnings of doing all that. With swimming lessons, playdates, visiting my fam. I kinda live in my car.... :ohwell:
 
DarkJoy I have three, my son isn't as bad as the girls though, he tends to walk or take the bus. My divas only ride in the car. I told my son he will be driving them around until he goes off to college and he was like why???? LOL
 
Phew! 3 to cart around?! Oh dear goodness! LOL. The cost of gas must be extraordinary! Yikes! 3jsmom!

We were thinking of adding martial arts as another of her extracurriculars. But will wait til summer. Gives her time to perfect her swimming plus gives me time to pay off some damn bills... plus less chauffering on my part. lol
 
Routine, routine, routine....that is my life. I'm so ready to be in a relationship. Even my 4 yr old dd asked if I'm going to get married lol.

I need to change something about my life.....I don't know. I need to save as much as I can for when my son comes back but I could really do with going away for a weekend. Even take dd to a countryside b&b or something. Life just seems so stale.
 
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^^^Speaking of, have any of you mothers traveled/vacayed alone or with your kids and you as the only adult? I want to do this domestically with DD but have both been scared AND broke :lol: but now I'm saving for a small trip for 2 but just scared... any stories, good or bad?


Also, Feelin you strongly Bublin. Is just a weekend getaway possible with either you or the DD? The routine gets dry. TBH, I've been crawling out my skin with boredom of the same 4 walls and friends. Having a man doesnt help. Mine being a daddy himself is STUCK in routine even though he only has them in the summer. Trying to break him out of it so we wont be bored together is like smashing through concrete with your fists :nono:. Sometimes, they're no help either after a while :ohwell:
 
DarkJoy

When DD was 4.5yrs old, we went to Boston for 3 days. Our first time on a plane. Did public transportation and lots of walking. We are from a smaller city in SC so it was fun and different to be in a large city. When it was just me and her, I would spend extra money to be in a nice hotel in a good area.
 
Bublin said:
Routine, routine, routine....that is my life. I'm so ready to be in a relationship. Even my 4 yr old dd asked if I'm going to get married lol.

I need to change something about my life.....I don't know. I need to save as much as I can for when my son comes back but I could really do with going away for a weekend. Even take dd to a countryside b&b or something. Life just seems so stale.
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Yes....my sons dad used to have access to awesome deals on hotel rooms....we would go about once a month and just spend the weekend. We don't have cable so they loved it....swam...ate....just to get out of the house. I miss that. Things have been so tight since our robbery/move.
 
DarkJoy said:
^^^Speaking of, have any of you mothers traveled/vacayed alone or with your kids and you as the only adult? I want to do this domestically with DD but have both been scared AND broke :lol: but now I'm saving for a small trip for 2 but just scared... any stories, good or bad? Also, Feelin you strongly Bublin. Is just a weekend getaway possible with either you or the DD? The routine gets dry. TBH, I've been crawling out my skin with boredom of the same 4 walls and friends. Having a man doesnt help. Mine being a daddy himself is STUCK in routine even though he only has them in the summer. Trying to break him out of it so we wont be bored together is like smashing through concrete with your fists :nono:. Sometimes, they're no help either after a while :ohwell:
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My dd and I traveled by train to Chicago. I took her there for her 10th bday. She said it was the best birthday ever. She went to the American a Doll store. My only issue with traveling is that I am directionally challenged, but we got through it. :-)
 
Hi all. im still here. lol. im about to start a new job soon and trying to get things situated on that aspect of my life. my kids and I were chit chatting. my daughter who is four said my boyfriend can only be her dad. my oldest little man who is 11 basically said ill be single forever lol. my middle child was upstairs not part of the convo. . I haven't had to introduce a guy into their lives and I have a feeling when and if I do its going to be rough.
 
And I hope once im settled in this new job to take my trio on a vacation which is going to be an experience in itself. lol
 
Another Single Mom here...divorced 5 years..DD is 11. My feelings of guilt comes from the fact that she says she wants a sibling but I am NOT having any more kids....she is so different from me in terms of needing to be around people that I feel really bad about it sometimes....not bad enough to have any more kids though:look:.

Anyway, we are very codependent on each other although she is with her dad every other week. She worries about me as though she is the parent and I am the kid...it makes me laugh

I talk to her about EVERYTHING...when she realized that you got pregnant by having sex this weekend...she was like "goodbye childhood"...I thought she had already connected the dots but obviously she hadn't :ohwell:.

I feel like I've been blessed because I have a great job that I get to do from home 4 days a week. However...it can still be stressful.


DarkJoy said:
Ooo thank you @Smiley79. I will check it out when I'm off work.. :)
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So about guilt: I am working on it. And I try to get persepctive on the situation. Some of it is typical divorce guilt that parents feel. However, trying to look at it from the outside in, she is actually doing BETTER than when we were all together. She is now the top student in her class. Much advanced on standardized tests. When mom and dad were together and miserable, she was much younger but she was also doing 'average' and even 'poorly' in her school. We got calls often for her poor behavior. :nono: None of this is an issue now.

I think the part of the guilt is our own disappointment that things have not gone the way WE planned and had hoped. If the child is doing well and as you say @Smiley79, not being abused, there is no logical reason to feel that way.

I think (general) we--mostly ME :lol:-- just have to get over ourselves, especially if everything else is going right.
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I've been talking to this guy for the last month and I think that he asks about DS too much and makes too many assumptions about me and DS's dad and our "roles." It's really weird because his first assumption was that my son's dad wasn't in his life (I corrected him after he went on and on about absentee fathers) and the next assumption was regarding how DS is disciplined (this time he went on and on about how moms are the nurturers and dads are disciplinarians). My point is why is he even talking to me if he feels so strongly about "single parenthood." Also, I really don't like to discuss DS and definitely not his dad with the people that I date.
 
All4Tris said:
I've been talking to this guy for the last month and I think that he asks about DS too much and makes too many assumptions about me and DS's dad and our "roles." It's really weird because his first assumption was that my son's dad wasn't in his life (I corrected him after he went on and on about absentee fathers) and the next assumption was regarding how DS is disciplined (this time he went on and on about how moms are the nurturers and dads are disciplinarians). My point is why is he even talking to me if he feels so strongly about "single parenthood." Also, I really don't like to discuss DS and definitely not his dad with the people that I date.
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Was he raised by a single mom? Does he have children? He sounds like he has some issues from his past. I would let him know that how your ex and you handle your son is just fine and that it is not a topic for discussion.

One other thing I thought of is he trying to see if your ex and you are going to get back together. Those are my hunches.
 
When they were younger we would go home to NYC but that was to family. I never taken t them on a trip without a grandparent. That in part bc my dad loves to travel so we go on a trip with him yearly.

This year I am wanting to do Spring Break get away with them but don't know where to go. The girls, my mom and me are going to New Orleans for Essence in July and cruise in December to celebrate my son and a friends daughter graduating high school.
 
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