Single Mom

[Renovating]

I was a single mom for a long time and I disagree with some of the sentiments in this thread. A child needs to develop a bond with your mate well before you officially exchange vows. Otherwise, I think it would be a huge shock for your child if your SO goes from being totally "hands off" to an equal disciplinarian after marriage. Now I am not saying every random should have a hand in raising your son, just someone you're in a serious, stable relationship with.

There isn't enough information in the op for me to form an opinion. Has any of your friends and family commented on how lenient you are as a parent? Sometimes as single mom you may feel guilty about you're child growing up in a "broken" home even if the bio dad is involved. That can cause you to overcompensate by being too lenient.

As far as him saying it's not going to work, I've said the same thing to friends that didn't discipline their children and my own sister. Children need boundaries, structure, and discipline. Maybe that's what your SO was expressing. Idk ....... It's hard to say without knowing what type of parent you are.

Either way, I wish you well. Dating with children is hard. My son was a preteen when my husband and I got together, and he would do all kinds of silly things ( like walk between us when we were out in public). He was just used to getting all of my attention.

Do you think his parenting suggestions are unreasonable? How serious is your relationship?

 

[JFK]

If a man ever says "I don't think it's going to work" he has already been making exit plans.

Men are not like women.
They usually don't leave until they have an airtight situation established elsewhere first.

So even if he stays a little longer after your talk with him, he's just looking for something better to lock in and guarantee.

They will use anything (i.e. Insert your son here) as a reason for their inability to keep trying eventually.

The fact that you've been together for a year and he doesn't provide in any way speaks volumes. And it's very telling that he lives far from his children and only sees them in the summer.

I hope I'm wrong though and will be happy if I am.

 

[God_Favor]

Any update OP??

 

[Fine 4s]

I don't have much to add here except for I'd be heeeeeeeated if that boy not only ate my kit kat but was laughing about it. LMAO
I completely understand. What's funny is that it's a grown man feeling this way!
That kid is trying to get rid of him yesterday!

 

[PeaceLover]

I don't have much to add here except for I'd be heeeeeeeated if that boy not only ate my kit kat but was laughing about it. LMAO
I completely understand. What's funny is that it's a grown man feeling this way!
That kid is trying to get rid of him yesterday!

Lol right! This post made me laugh.

 

[Country gal]

This is an old thread but is there an update. I went through a similar situation with my son and ex. There was always tension and I always felt in the middle.

 

[PrettyBrownEyes]

This reminded me of a situation I had like this when my son was little. It didn't work.

 

[GraceJones]

I can't believe this grown @ssed man is mad about the candy...

You bought it for your boy, not him. And it didn't really seem like they are fond of one another. This man sounds controlling... And petty as hell.

I can see that I could not deal with his personality type and his disciplinary style but you have been with this man for a year, you should know if you like this set up or not. This is what this man is offering, accept or reject

 

[JerriBlank]

He sounds like he really dislikes your child. Smh. I've been a step parent before. It was NEVER this serious. Unless your son is the Problem Child. From what you wrote, it seems like he just doesn't like your kid. It definitely happens.

 

[Evolving78]

He sounds as though he's jealous of your relationship with your son.

This right here. It sounds like he is fighting for territory. Both him and your son. You probably do let your son get away with a lot, and he maybe manipulating, since he has to share his mommy. But dude ants to be seen as the alpha male in the relationship. Does he interact, or try to have a relationship with your child? If he does, hear him out. If he treats the kid like somebody he has to put up with for the sake of the relationship, move on.

 

[Evolving78]

I don't have much to add here except for I'd be heeeeeeeated if that boy not only ate my kit kat but was laughing about it. LMAO
I completely understand. What's funny is that it's a grown man feeling this way!
That kid is trying to get rid of him yesterday!

I don't play that crap with my kids! Can't stand inconsiderate children. Can't stand kids that keep up foolishness and parents that allow it. And this is coming from someone on both sides of the coin.

 

[Kimbosheart]

I wish there was an update. I might side with the SO in this situation but there's just not enough information.