SINGLE and FAT at the SAME TIME!

[Raspberry]

This lady's youtube channel is awesome and she speaks on this topic (after having lost 80+ pounds): http://www.youtube.com/user/beautifulbrwnbabydol?blend=1&ob=4#p/u/134/2xMPmrMqKUc

This vid is great, isn't she a member here?

ETA: I want to lose 15 lbs but honestly I prefer to attract men when I have more weight on because I don't want to feel pressured to maintain my perfect weight to fit his ideal. I'm critical enough of myself and don't need to be worrying about someone else's criticism too.

 

[Do_Si_Dos]

sky_blu & Do_Si_Dos

Would you all mind elaborating on the bolded? What differences have you noticed?

I attract nice guys either way, but when I was slimmer I attracted guys closer to my phyiscal type. I think it has more to do with my confidence though than my weight.

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[topnotch1010]

My DH is a sweet man. When we met I'd just gotten out of a bad relationship (my ex stalked me) and I lost weight because of the stress the ex put me under. I was approx 135-140 lbs when we met.

Over the 1st six years we were married I gained and hovered around 160 but went as high as 173 lbs. I didn't notice how much differently he treated me because I gained weight very quickly after we met.

I lost the weight about two years ago and he treats me differently. He's nicer and enjoys catering to me. He was nice before but he's much nicer now. I ask him about it and he says I was meaner because I was unhappy with myself. I don't think that's true because I still thought I was cute heavier. People made me self-conscious about my weight with their comments. It's like they didn't think I should be happy with myself because I was overweight.

I draw a lot of men since I've lost the weight. When I was heavier I didn't draw NEARLY as many. He's noticed the attention I get and sometimes I think he's tried to sabotage me because of it. He often buys me snacks and sweets he knows I try to stay away from.

I wanted to share my experience as a wife who gained and loss during marriage.

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[LifeafterLHCF]

Hmm this is topic.I find for me myself and I my feelings of weight and lack of suitable suitors has been contributed to the subservant treatment I have applied to myself which I feel has repealed any decent man from my path.I noticed while growing up my step father would treat me so badly and would always tell me your fat,ugly disgusting and no one will want you ever.You will have to pay for someone.So I allowed that stigma from childhood to disturb my feelings of beauty and opened me to take non suitable men who abused me mentally.

I look in the mirror at work all the time and say damn Simone your pretty as hell why on earth don't you have a man but I know deep inside I still have some growing to do.I know as a larger chick I have always felt I had to do more put out more and not uphold the morals I I know I want.But now at the old age of 25 going 26 this year thankfully I can say I will not tolerate bs simple bc I have some meat on my bones.I stay in the gym now and I notice a different feeling about myself which I do notice slowly is making me smile more and seem more approachable.

Ladies those who write here or lurk do not allow your size be a battle its just weight it can be lost and it doesn't define your identity.I use to think I was a fat woman nothing more now I def know Im Simone aka Goddessmaker a beauty a rare gem that shines that went through alot of fire in order to bake out flaws and help me shine more radiant.And at least my face isn't horrid weight can be lost cheaper than fixing a face.

 

[Bronxcutie]

I have never had trouble attracting the opposite sex at my heaviest weight or now, but I am tired of feeling like my body is a prison. I have lost quite a bit of weight (still have a long way to go) but my confidence level has skyrocketed. I would be dishonest if I didn't admit that I would attract a larger variety of suitors if I slimmed down. I feel a bit more pressure since I started taking acting classes and started meeting new people at different events.

 

[Glib Gurl]

I know very few handsome, well-educated, gainfully employed, ambitious men looking for a fat wife or girlfriend.

THIS has been resounding in my head since I first read it . . . the truth hurts!

 

[sky_blu]

I attract nice guys either way, but when I was slimmer I attracted guys closer to my physical type. I think it has more to do with my confidence though than my weight.

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nicola.kirwan Same here! Its like any willy nilly guy thinks I will want him just bc Im heavier. I don't like fat guys (yep I said it) and thats what I seem to get a lot when Im heavier. I am definitely more comfortable when Im at a certain size and I definitely believes it shows, so those guys are too intimidated to even come at me then. I will have to say I have met guys that were my physical type when I was heavier and never had a problem with my weight, but I had the problem then bc my confidence wasn't there.