Single and Ready to Mingle: 2011 Edition!

I am sooooo ready to relocate and actually be in a real city metro area. I sit around and day dream about simple stuff the rest of ya'll take for granted, nice grocery stores, whole foods:grin:, shopping, decent restaurants. I can't friggin wait to get away from these backwoods.

I'm already piecing outfits together in my head. Like oh, this would be nice for a happy hour, or this one would be cool for brunch/shopping. About to order some new wigs and everythang. :lachen:
 
Imani said:
I am sooooo ready to relocate and actually be in a real city metro area. I sit around and day dream about simple stuff the rest of ya'll take for granted, nice grocery stores, whole foods:grin:, shopping, decent restaurants. I can't friggin wait to get away from these backwoods.

I'm already piecing outfits together in my head. Like oh, this would be nice for a happy hour, or this one would be cool for brunch/shopping. About to order some new wigs and everythang. :lachen:
Click to expand...

Imani

I think we live in the same town. I moved from dc to the middle of nowhere (due to a layoff) and I miss the city life terribly. I didn't even know I was a "city girl" until I came here! Glad to know I'm not the only one and hope something opens up for both of us in the city of our choice soon! Good luck:)


Sent from my iPhone using LHCF
 
Skiggle said:
@ runwaydream: Don't keep us hanging! Details, lol!
Click to expand...


lol. well basically i asked earlier on this week, while we were hanging out, would he still date me if i dated other guys. he took a moment, then he said no, he wouldnt be okay with it and if i did, he didn't think he could date me anymore. he asked me if i was dating other guys and i told him "no, but im not gonna lie, i usually date a few guys at once. if i'm not in a relationship then i have no obligations to anyone." we talked more and he said he wanted to date exclusively. so after he drove me home i was still confused. i asked him if we were in a relationship then. he said yes. okay so i'm over here thinking we were bf and gf right? wrong. lol

i had decided to tell him since we were in a relationship that i was a virgin and was waiting for marriage. i wanted him to kno that so he could make his decision as to whether or not this was something he wanted. he said "im still here.":blush3: he also said he thought it was impressive and that they dont make women like me anymore. i told him i usually dont tell guys that but i figure since we're in a relationship now, i figure he should know.... he was quiet for awhile. then he goes "what do you mean by that? do you mean like bf and gf?" i told him yes, and i thought thats what we talked about tonight. he paused and said "yea ok..that could work" at this point im like hold up!!!:stop: "um.. isn't that what we were talking about tonight? i mean if that's not what you want then we should talk about this." and he said... "well... thats not usually how i do things. i usually like dating exclusively first. i mean u're a nice girl and everything and i'd love to be in a relationship with you. but just not yet, that's not how i do things." so i said "ok, we don't have to, we can just stay dating, that's fine." he then starts to ask me what i meant by dating and would i still date other ppl. i told him i would and i'm looking for a serious relationship and am not willing to put all my eggs in one basket. i acknowledged the fact that he wouldn't be willing to deal with that, i told him he needed to do what made him happy and if that meant that we had to stop dating completely, than so be it. he was shocked and asked if i would be ok with us just cutting it off like that. i told him i would be. he seemed hurt by it so i elaborated. i told him that it wasn't that i didn't like him or didnt care, but i'd rather it end now than to continue on with this and have it end later. i know what i want and he knows what he wants.

we went on like this for awhile and then he told me he wanted a relationship. i told him no, bc i felt like i was forcing him into it. he told me that he didnt want me dating other guys. he said he couldnt deal with it and thought a relationship would be the best idea out of the two. i asked him to take more time to think about it, bc i dont take my relationships lightly. he said he didnt need any more time and he knew that was what he wanted. sooo.. to make an even longer story slightly shorter, we are now bf and gf. we talk, or at least communicate with each other every day. and we hung out yesterday:snugglecouch:. things are going well. he also said that he could see himself living here. we're taking things slow tho, which i like.

also i made a mistake he's not 6'2, he's 6'4 :lick:he reprimanded me for taking away two inches from him, lol.
 
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runwaydream said:
lol. well basically i asked earlier on this week, while we were hanging out, would he still date me if i dated other guys. he took a moment, then he said no, he wouldnt be okay with it and if i did, he didn't think he could date me anymore. he asked me if i was dating other guys and i told him "no, but im not gonna lie, i usually date a few guys at once. if i'm not in a relationship then i have no obligations to anyone." we talked more and he said he wanted to date exclusively. so after he drove me home i was still confused. i asked him if we were in a relationship then. he said yes. okay so i'm over here thinking we were bf and gf right? wrong. lol

i had decided to tell him since we were in a relationship that i was a virgin and was waiting for marriage. i wanted him to kno that so he could make his decision as to whether or not this was something he wanted. he said "im still here.":blush3: he also said he thought it was impressive and that they dont make women like me anymore. i told him i usually dont tell guys that but i figure since we're in a relationship now, i figure he should know.... he was quiet for awhile. then he goes "what do you mean by that? do you mean like bf and gf?" i told him yes, and i thought thats what we talked about tonight. he paused and said "yea ok..that could work" at this point im like hold up!!!:stop: "um.. isn't that what we were talking about tonight? i mean if that's not what you want then we should talk about this." and he said... "well... thats not usually how i do things. i usually like dating exclusively first. i mean u're a nice girl and everything and i'd love to be in a relationship with you. but just not yet, that's not how i do things." so i said "ok, we don't have to, we can just stay dating, that's fine." he then starts to ask me what i meant by dating and would i still date other ppl. i told him i would and i'm looking for a serious relationship and am not willing to put all my eggs in one basket. i acknowledged the fact that he wouldn't be willing to deal with that, i told him he needed to do what made him happy and if that meant that we had to stop dating completely, than so be it. he was shocked and asked if i would be ok with us just cutting it off like that. i told him i would be. he seemed hurt by it so i elaborated. i told him that it wasn't that i didn't like him or didnt care, but i'd rather it end now than to continue on with this and have it end later. i know what i want and he knows what he wants.

we went on like this for awhile and then he told me he wanted a relationship. i told him no, bc i felt like i was forcing him into it. he told me that he didnt want me dating other guys. he said he couldnt deal with it and thought a relationship would be the best idea out of the two. i asked him to take more time to think about it, bc i dont take my relationships lightly. he said he didnt need any more time and he knew that was what he wanted. sooo.. to make an even longer story slightly shorter, we are now bf and gf. we talk, or at least communicate with each other every day. and we hung out yesterday:snugglecouch:. things are going well. he also said that he could see himself living here. we're taking things slow tho, which i like.

also i made a mistake he's not 6'2, he's 6'4 :lick:he reprimanded me for taking away two inches from him, lol.
Click to expand...

Awww...great story!
 
Congrats runwaydream!
I love how you laid down the "law" about
what you wanted in a relationship!
:yep:
 
Guess what girls?

As of Friday, I am no longer single. I won't get into specifics as I am about to go on a trip and won't be back for 2 weeks, but I've been seeing a few guys these past few weeks and he stood out. The guys I continued to see had a lot of things I was looking for in a man, but this one distinguished himself. And I kept my standards high in the process.

I am keeping my Goddess books that have helped me in the process, but let's just say there's a lot of helpful information in them. Of course, Sherry Argov's books, John T. Malloy's Why Men Marry Some Women and Not Others and just staying on top of my appearance.
 
I am finally receptive to dating. I've been on a few thus far. But I am taking slow steps. Can I still be in the challenge? Or do I need to be looking for a LTR?
 
I said I wasn't going to date in 2011. Got a lot on my plate with moving to a new city/new job/new career and working on some other personal stuff and just wanted to focus on that. Get out the house and mingle but not really trying to date. But...I swear reading Ediese's thread makes it seem fun and exciting! lol....we'll see.
 
Hey, I know its only Tuesday, but who's going out this week? Dates? Happy hours?

Since I'm stuck in Nowhereville for a little while longer I like to hear the stories for inspiration.
 
My biggest issue is not knowing where the men are. I like a certain type of guy and I won't settle for less. I'm all the way in the burbs when I should have been living in the city to find what I'm looking for.....uggghhh!!!!
 
^^^One thing I noticed even in my little raggedy city is that sometimes it can depend on the time of day you are out and about. I had been locked in this pattern of doing my errands at the exact same time everyday due to my work schedule. Last wk I was out and about later than I usually would be and had a pleasant conversation with a nice man in Target (not someone I would be interested in tho, still just nice to have a convo w/someone). And I also saw like two dudes who looked attractive from a distance at the grocery store, but unfortunately I was too far away to get a closer look without seeming obvious. The normal times I run my errands I see NOBODY.
 
Hey ladies, I just started venturing out into other threads than the hair forums and came up on this thread. I was so excited, and am very motivated by the stories.

So with that said, a little about me, in my previous life, (and when I say previous, I mean up to 2 years ago:( ) I was a complete doormat, and willing to take anything not to be alone. After my last "relationship" when I got dumped for the girl next door, (and I literally mean the girl next door) I had to reeveluate myself, my values, and and my standards. Through a series of self help books / relationship books I am in a great place, although still single. I truly believe that God sends people into your life for a reason.

Because of the growth that I have had since that relationship 2 things happened that told me I was on the right path.
1. I ran into an ex from my first years in college who, was one of the boggest users I have ever known, and when I didn't jump at his beckond call he said i wasn't the same person that he knew and "loved". I thanked him for the compliment!!
2. So because I've decided to put myself out there, and not dismiss guys off the bat, I went on a brunch date after church. Everything was going fearly well, there were somethings that annoyed me, but nothing that I couldn't deal with (eg. low talking, mumbling) afterall, on paper he looked pretty good, he has a master's in the same engineering field I am working on getting my master's in, he was freindly, goes to church regularly (actually the church I used to go to), He was gainfully employed at a respected firm, and his sign (scorpio) is most compatible with mine (pisces). After the date was over, and he was dropping me off at my car, he tells me he has a family back in Mobile! Whattttt!! Haven't excepted any calls from him since. Old me probably would have continued with him to hear my wife doesn't understand, or we can just be "buddies". New me, he's lucky he's not castrated!!

Long story short (even though it really wasn't) I am single and ready to mingle in 2011!!! and like my pastor said, "Praying for a husband, not a man, there is a difference!!"

PS. This is a link my friend sent me, I found it funny. http://www.huffingtonpost.com/tracy-mcmillan/why-youre-not-married_b_822088.html

ETA: Going to a singles conference at church this weekend, if I expected new outcomes, I need to do new things!
 
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Imani said:
The normal times I run my errands I see NOBODY.
Click to expand...

I agree. I went to Trader Joe's after work (not my normal time). I got checked out (food) by this cute cashier. But he looks so young, ugh. I should had chatted a bit but I fail. lol. I just need to go back next week around this time and make sure that he checks me out (for real!)
 
Checking in..I have been going out on a regular basis..Wherever my friends invite me to go, Im going..Ive been making sure I look good, makeup is nice, hair is decent..etc. However, I havent made any connections..Sure, Ive met old men, unnattractive men, losers and the like, but I havent been approached by any one that Im really interested in..I honestly dont know what the deal is, and truthfully, its kinda wearing me down a bit..I mean, I go the extra step (I think) to make sure quality men approach me and it doesnt happen..I would be lying if I said I wasnt a little bit discouraged...
Im sooo happy for the women who have made connections!! I hope to be typing my own inspirational post soon.
 
Imani said:
^^^One thing I noticed even in my little raggedy city is that sometimes it can depend on the time of day you are out and about. I had been locked in this pattern of doing my errands at the exact same time everyday due to my work schedule. Last wk I was out and about later than I usually would be and had a pleasant conversation with a nice man in Target (not someone I would be interested in tho, still just nice to have a convo w/someone). And I also saw like two dudes who looked attractive from a distance at the grocery store, but unfortunately I was too far away to get a closer look without seeming obvious. The normal times I run my errands I see NOBODY.
Click to expand...

I might have to try this. Because I've unemployed I go shopping during the day and of course the men will be working. I might try in the evening.
 
Lucie said:
I am finally receptive to dating. I've been on a few thus far. But I am taking slow steps. Can I still be in the challenge? Or do I need to be looking for a LTR?
Click to expand...


Lucie, feel free to join us! :yep:

Some of us are looking for LTR, while others are just getting into the swing of things and are new to the "dating world".
 
I did Imani suggestion about changing the time I go out to do errands. I have to admit there were more of quality men available and a few Euro men. I did get the attention of one guy and we exchanged smiles. So my next objective is to get one to ask me out (a cutie, type of guy that I'm attracting too).
 
lushcoils said:
Where are you going to run into Euro men? Or was it just changing the times you go to places?
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Lush, I don't live very far from Woodfield Mall in Illinois (it's a big mall here) and I was there around 5p or little after. They were probably visiting and a few of them spoke with an English accent.

In Illini, there are a few towns that have foreigners....Skokie, Naperville, etc.
 
cheetarah1980 said:
My first move for 2011 is to join a running club in my new town. It's a great way to meet people and expand my social circle.
Click to expand...

That is exactly what I am planning on doing too!

Ok, I am SO late but life just rushes ahead. I want in on this challenge because I have somehow managed to go out quite a few times each month so far!

In February, I went out twice with a friend: once to a bar (that was too packed and crowded), so we went to a chinese restaurant off Regent street (London, UK) called Ping Pong. We actually conversed very briefly with some guys at the bar.

Two weeks ago, I went with same friend to a meetup.com outing: a guided tour of a museum behind Selfridges, Oxford Street. I'll be honest, I loved the museum already but afterwards in a bar (pub, really)down the road, I got to chatting to a nice guy who's got a PhD and a similar family background to mine. (The PhD is important because I'm also of the same level of learning). At the end of our conversation - when I remembered my friend WAS sitting next to me and finally introduced her - she asked what he was currently working on. Cancer research - wow! I must confess though, forgot to get his number:hammer:. Also, I had invited myself into my friend's meetup plans - lol!:lol:


In January, the same friend (bless her) coaxed me over to a club called The Brickhouse in Brick Lane. It had circus-like acts and an upstairs bit for the meetup people to mingle. It was weird but ok because we got to chatting to a very nice guy just as I was about to leave...(don't worry, I stayed 5 more mins!). Nice personality but not my taste. Anyhu!

2010 was a dry year! 2011 better wake up! I'm ready to mingle!
ETA: I also just joined meetup.com for myself!
 
^^^I think I'm going to join meetup.com as well when I move. I have already scoped out some groups that look promising.
 
Imani said:
^^^I think I'm going to join meetup.com as well when I move. I have already scoped out some groups that look promising.
Click to expand...

I did this, the only problem, is that the groups that seem to be co-ed, are older groups, like 35+, I up to 35 is pretty much my limit as I am 28. Hopefully that will change. I live in a college town, and I am a memeber of a few school organizations, but they are usually just undergrade students, most too young. I can usually count on 1 hand the grad students in my age range and there usually women. But that's okay, I'll keep trying to find my stride! :grin:
 
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