Single and Ready to Mingle Challenge 2010!

I love this thread! (I am soooo IN!)
I am trying to be less of a homebody so I went to an evening do I was invited to by a family friend at the end of July! No dates out of that but at least I know I looked good!:grin:
Did my own hair and wore a long black dress. I'll see if I can attach a pic!
But it won't let me! :rolleyes:
 
I've been out of the loop for a bit but I have a great update. This is a LONG post so please bear with me. I've discovered the good, the bad, and the ugly of internet dating lol. I have been out and about mingling this summer doing everything from attending free festivals in central park to First Saturdays at the Brooklyn Museum (a cool, outdoor party). I've made eye contact and flirted with guys but didn't make that deeper connection with anyone. I actually resorted to what I call my "x-files" and went out with a few of my exes!

A friend of mine told me to join E-Harmony again (I tried it over 2 years ago but didn't like my choice of matches and soon after I met my boyfriend at a party) so I did. I found the choices this round to be a little better but also I was more open to finding someone. After many "communications" I went out with a guy from the site. He was everything great on paper -- had his masters, good job, divorced (meaning he wasn't afraid of marriage although it didn't work the first time around), and successful. he was also haitian which is my ethnic background...woohoo! Well, when we finally went out I didn't feel that chemistry at all. He liked me and wanted to go out again but I politely declined. He was good on paper but I wasn't attracted to him in person. Although that didn't work out I did feel a little more comfortable with the internet dating scene. So that leads me to my 2nd internet dating experience on blackpeoplemeet.com.

The same friend who suggested E-Harmony, was now dating a great guy from black people meet. I hated this site because it felt like a total meat market and there were literally THOUSANDS of men on there fishing for women lol :nono:. Well it felt like that until I got a message from a guy who actually took the time to write a thoughtful message instead of sending a corny pick-up line, a guy whose pictures didn't have him posing in sunglasses, or at the gym flexing, or in a pimp looking suit. He wrote me a nice message, his pics showed him doing fun things like playing softball and skydiving. I was intrigued. I replied and we started communicating over the phone. I found out he was also Haitian (yes I know, they always find me!). When we finally met I had no expectations because of my E-Harmony experience but I told my self if there is no attraction at least I would've met a potential friend. Well our first date led to two more dates all in the same week :drunk:! Ladies, we obviously clicked and we are moving forward to see where this takes us. One very important point to mention is that he is in Florida and I live in NY (on my black people meet profile I said I lived in Miami where my mom lives because I wanted to meet guys outside of NY) so that sucks! But we have both already scheduled visits and I'm learning to appreciate Skype :) I can honestly say that I'm glad I took the chance on internet dating. And I'm glad I met him. And this is corny I know, but when I look in his eyes I know he feels the same way about me. Ladies, I'm going to put it out there -- I will be engaged by 2011 :yep:!
 
Well, I'm definitely single, AGAIN, and doing some mingling as well. I'm just making sure to go out and have a good time with my friends and if I meet someone along the way, that's great too! I'm enjoying filling up my social calendar.
 
Still no where near ready to mingle (recent breakup), but I just saw some posts about going out alone and wanted to chime in. Its not as bad as you think, it can actually be pretty fun. I'm kind of a loner and introverted, so it doesn't bother me as much as most people. And generally, I tend to meet more men alone (unintentionally, bc usu I am just trying to get out the house, not looking to meet anyone).

I go to:
Lunch (somewhere nice and laid back like Panera Bread usu w/a book to read)
bookstores
museums
festivals (if u are Atl, I swear there seems to be some type of festival every weekend)
parks
bars at nice restaurants (for dinner and one drink)
coffee shops
live music concerts
movies


When I'm out alone, I make sure to have my smartphone, ipod touch, and something to read if its during the daytime. So if there's ever a big gap of time where I'm kinda just posted up and nothing is going on, I have something to fiddle with. All of the above are things I enjoy going to. I just don't see myself attending stuff I know I have zero interest in just for the sole purpose of scoping out guys; I used to do this a lot when I was younger, but not so much now. My focus now is just to have a more enriching social life and leisure activities, so I only go places that appeal to me.

I live in the backwoods right now, but when I do move back to city, I plan to join some organizations, like my alumni association. Im also a member of National Black MBA. I can really only make it to the city on the wknds, so I'm kinda limited right now.
 
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OK, so I went out last night with one of my new girlfriends (I'm taking applications for new female friends, LOL). We went to one place that was a dud really, then went to a place I had been to but on a different night. We sat at the bar and the guy beside me bought me and my friend all our drinks and shots. We briefly talked here and there and when we told him we were leaving, he begged us to stay and said he'd buy more drinks, LOL. I'm just trying to be more social. That is my ultimate goal. If I can be more social and be more comfortable in my own skin around people I don't know, the rest will come. So, tonight I'm going to a concert, by myself, which is cool.
 
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Haven't been in here in a while but I'm glad to see that you ladies are having fun and going out of your comfort zones.

Natural Princess my fingers are crossed for you!!
 
So I was out in Atlanta the other day and this little cute 21 yr old was trying to holler at me. It did feel good to flirt with someone, we had interesting convo, nothing more (too young, and as I've mentioned, just coming off break up). Then I met this Columbian dude who seeemed cool, again just chatting. I guess I don't understand when females say there aren't any dudes, I meet men ALL the time. And no they aren't the Tyrone ,hey come here girl let me holler at you type.

Anywho...still trying to just kinda get out and be social, not trying to meet anyone at this time, just work on me and heal. And get out the house every once in a while.

I'm going to the Dwele concert in Birmingham on Friday night. And also the Amel Laurrieux concert in Atlanta in a couple of weeks. Going to Dwele with a homegirl, will most likely go see Amel alone.
 
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Ms Red keep hope alive! I just got back from Miami and things couldn't have gone any better with my boy! We are dating exclusively now and are making plans to be in the same city (eventually). Thanks for your well wishes and the best to you too.
 
Well, I've been mingling, LOL. Not with any men really, BUT, I've been more social. I went to a meetup that I REALLY like last night and I met a new lady. She's engaged and was saying how her fiance' has single friends. So, we all chatted and she discerned that I do not know how to flirt (which is true, LOL) and she said that she's going to arrange for us to do a bellydance class so I can be more in tune with my body vs. mind. Which I totally agree with. She also said she'd have a dinner party so I (and some of the other women) could meet her fiance's single friends (and work on my flirting, I'm sure). So, yay for me! I'm just happy to have some more female friends again.
 
BUMPING

I am single now and I would love to go out and mingle. Unfortunately, I only really hang out with 2 other girls, one married in january and the other is kinda seeing someone. So my last resort is to go out alone. I wanna start tonight but I am not sure. Any ladies in Houston wanna hang out?
 
^^^^^Tell a few people where you'll be going and when you should return just in case. Don't drink b/c someone could be watching you and attack you when you leave or get ready to. I suggest going to nicer venues alone - i.e. jazz clubs, b/c the people and ambiance are better and you're more likely to spark a conversation with someone rather than in a regular booty-shaking club. I've done both alone and I recommend the jazz club. Also, it's easier for men to approach since they don't have to worry about cackling girlfriends.
 
I've definitely been mingling a lot more recently.. i try to go to coffee shops and studying on my lunch... Every weekend been going out to clubs and usually talking to some men. But I wonder if guys at a club is really what I want..
Sometimes its really touch and go .. what type of men you'll find at certain clubs... and it's SOOO hard to find a man over 6' in this city! LOL.

My hair has been a good conversation starter.. I remember one time, I was standing at a bar and a guy from across the bar says to me.. I love your hair.. i just want to put my hands in it. There's been many occaisions where guys come up to me and say.. i just love your hair.. can I touch it?
(no lol)

Now i want to start going to places where I can meet men that are a bit older.. (30+).. anyone have any ideas?
I think I may do some jazz clubs after work for a drink.. otherwise... i'm not sure.
What i do know is that I've been having a lot more fun and enjoying my friends and enjoying life.
 
I have a daughter (23) who is currently seeking. Anyone live in or around Louisville, KY that would like to plan monthly social events with her? All of her friends are in long-term relationships--:(
 
*sigh*

So, here I am back in this thread. I'm glad I started this so long ago . . . need to push myself beyond my comfort zone . . . .
 
I'll starting mingling this year but in 2011 I'll be going full force. I will not be single all next year like I was this year. No way.
 
SuchMagnificance said:
Ladies, any suggestions on going out to the club alone?
Click to expand...

Hi, I used to live in Houston and would suggest areas close to Westheimer or the Galleria. My cousin met a guy at Belvedere (I don't think its the same as it was before, different crowd now) in 2007 and they got married last Dec. The Skybar attracts a good, mature crowd too.
I too need to make new friends here in Austin, both male and female. Sigh.
 
Lovelylife said:
I'll starting mingling this year but in 2011 I'll be going full force. I will not be single all next year like I was this year. No way.
Click to expand...

Same here.. I know that 2011 is going to be a good year for me. I have been taking good care of myself.. getting out there more and being more social. I can feel good things coming.
 
I was off this Friday and have not left the house for 3 days straight. Thats just pitiful.

At least I have a trip coming up in a few weeks. My alma mater has a classic football game coming up, so that should be a blast.

Im hoping to have a new job and be in a new city in 2011. Then I will really go hard on trying to meet people. Its hard to be motivated, when I am not settled in the city I want to be in. Right now I'm looking at DC, Atlanta, Houston, and all the major cities in FL and Cali. I WILL NOT be stuck in this town in 2011.
 
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So I've out mingling at social events for the past 4 weeks or so. Still have yet to get asked out yet. :ohwell: This is very frustrating. I don't know how you ladies manage to get asked out daily. Oh well, I'm trying again. Going out again this weekend.
 
Please let me know if you guys do a challenge for 2011, I need this to motivate me to do more than work.
 
I would love to do a challenge for 2011....Im still single but I did manage to earn a degree:)I would like to take the proper steps to meet a well rounded guy.
 
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