Single and Ready to Mingle: 2011 Edition!

[runwaydream]

went out with this really hot guy tonight. it was supposed to just be a "hangout" date but i was still very put off when I had to pay for myself. we had a good time, but somewhere along the way it got a little weird, idk, the atmosphere changed. i think the date was just too long and we were sitting in the same place the whole time. it was about 4 hrs w. us sitting across each other.

anyways he was cool and i wouldnt mind going out w. him again but i didnt feel all that much chemistry and it was really hard to gauge how he felt about me.

 

[bunnie82]

went out with this really hot guy tonight. it was supposed to just be a "hangout" date but i was still very put off when I had to pay for myself. we had a good time, but somewhere along the way it got a little weird, idk, the atmosphere changed. i think the date was just too long and we were sitting in the same place the whole time. it was about 4 hrs w. us sitting across each other.

anyways he was cool and i wouldnt mind going out w. him again but i didnt feel all that much chemistry and it was really hard to gauge how he felt about me.

hmmm.....i dunno....even though it was a "hangout" date i would have still expected him to pay...

4hrs is pretty good amount of time! did you both get to know each other?

more deets please!

 

[Imani]

I'm going to a professional social on a boat on Thursday. And will try to go out to a bar on Friday or Saturday, probably alone. I'm trying to go out at least once during the week for a happy hour and then at least once on the wknd.

 

[runwaydream]

hmmm.....i dunno....even though it was a "hangout" date i would have still expected him to pay...

4hrs is pretty good amount of time! did you both get to know each other?

more deets please!

well he's 6'1 and cambodian and did i mention hot as hell? we talked a lot about different random things and i did get to know him better. i found out a few things that surprised me. and also a few things that turned me off. he made a lot of jokes about him being a broke college student. which is a major turn off. this is why i no longer date guys who are still in school. and that to me just put him in the friend zone bc i kno if we were to go out again i would have to pay for myself...AGAIN. lol.

i also felt like he made it a point to always disagree w. anything i asked of him. for example another MAJOR turn off was when he was going to recite his poetry. i asked him if he could recite it at the spot closer to the table so i can hear him better. he said "no," that he wanted to recite it at the spot other ppl were reciting it. i thought that was kind of gay and lame of him. if he really liked me he would've recited it closer to the table where i could hear him better. what would have been the harm in that? anyway i would hang out w. him again but i wouldnt want to date him.

 

[Windsy]

well he's 6'1 and cambodian and did i mention hot as hell? we talked a lot about different random things and i did get to know him better. i found out a few things that surprised me. and also a few things that turned me off. he made a lot of jokes about him being a broke college student. which is a major turn off. this is why i no longer date guys who are still in school. and that to me just put him in the friend zone bc i kno if we were to go out again i would have to pay for myself...AGAIN. lol.

i also felt like he made it a point to always disagree w. anything i asked of him. for example another MAJOR turn off was when he was going to recite his poetry. i asked him if he could recite it at the spot closer to the table so i can hear him better. he said "no," that he wanted to recite it at the spot other ppl were reciting it. i thought that was kind of gay and lame of him. if he really liked me he would've recited it closer to the table where i could hear him better. what would have been the harm in that? anyway i would hang out w. him again but i wouldnt want to date him.

What's wrong with paying for yourself? I always get confused by this. Why should a man pay for the first date or few dates? Should'nt you get those luxuries when it become official? Also, are you willing to pay for both of yall dates too?

 

[metro_qt]

What's wrong with paying for yourself? I always get confused by this. Why should a man pay for the first date or few dates? Should'nt you get those luxuries when it become official? Also, are you willing to pay for both of yall dates too?

There are many reasons for this, if you're actually being courted by someone.
Now, if you're looking for a roll in the hay, sure, pay for your own date.
(these are courtship guidelines, not RULES people...)

Here's why:

Paying for dinner is a man's way of signaling that the date is romantic, as opposed to platonic, she says. If a woman offers to pay, men feel pursued, and the thrill of the hunt evaporates, making a second date unlikely.

Perhaps we can rationalize that our desire for a man to pay is the modern version of an age-old evolutionary urge. The female of any species gravitates toward a mate who can provide for her and any potential offspring, says Boyce Watkins, a finance professor at Syracuse University and author of "Financial Lovemaking 101."


http://articles.moneycentral.msn.com/Investing/HomeMortgageSavings/WantSecondDatePayForFirst.aspx#pageTopAnchor

 

[runwaydream]

^^^

wow.. girl i didnt even have to say nothin. i cant do any better than that. so ill just co-sign. lol

 

[Windsy]

There are many reasons for this, if you're actually being courted by someone.
Now, if you're looking for a roll in the hay, sure, pay for your own date.
(these are courtship guidelines, not RULES people...)

Here's why:

Paying for dinner is a man's way of signaling that the date is romantic, as opposed to platonic, she says. If a woman offers to pay, men feel pursued, and the thrill of the hunt evaporates, making a second date unlikely.

Perhaps we can rationalize that our desire for a man to pay is the modern version of an age-old evolutionary urge. The female of any species gravitates toward a mate who can provide for her and any potential offspring, says Boyce Watkins, a finance professor at Syracuse University and author of "Financial Lovemaking 101."


http://articles.moneycentral.msn.co.../WantSecondDatePayForFirst.aspx#pageTopAnchor

Oh rules, I mean guidlines ......I see.

hmmmmm, the beauty of being on a forum with men is that you get to hear their frustrations about paying for dates and wonder why they shouldn't be getting some good good after they pay.....oh well.

Thanks for sharing the article though....I'll check it out.

 

[missjones]

Wow, the year is almost half way over and I have not done anything to get out and mingle.

 

[Imani]

Wow, the year is almost half way over and I have not done anything to get out and mingle.

Girl, you and me both. But now that I'm in a new city, I'm going to try to get out more. Its really... interesting/different than I thought it would be up here. But, I will keep branching out of my comfort zone.

I'm also going to start doing my errands/shopping in different areas just to get more exposure to different areas and people. When you live in a major metro area, where everything is right within your reach in your little area/town/suburb etc its easy to just keep going to same spots all the time (mall, grocery, target, barnes and noble, starbucks, restaurants, etc) bc its so convenient.

 

[missjones]

Girl, you and me both. But now that I'm in a new city, I'm going to try to get out more. Its really... interesting/different than I thought it would be up here. But, I will keep branching out of my comfort zone.

I'm also going to start doing my errands/shopping in different areas just to get more exposure to different areas and people. When you live in a major metro area, where everything is right within your reach in your little area/town/suburb etc its easy to just keep going to same spots all the time (mall, grocery, target, barnes and noble, starbucks, restaurants, etc) bc its so convenient.

I was thinking of doing that too. Because, lets just be honest, around where I live it's mainly older white folks. So I need to branch out if I want to meet the younger black folks.

 

[Imani]

I was thinking of doing that too. Because, lets just be honest, around where I live it's mainly older white folks. So I need to branch out if I want to meet the younger black folks.

Exactly, there are not many black people at all where I live and definitely no black professional men. Like, none. I have something up my sleeve for this wknd tho, I'm going to find out where the black people are hiding up here d@mnit, Someone told me on their side of town, they have that special ethnic aisle in their drug stores, you know with the ambi and palmer's cocoa butter and stuff, so I think I'ma head out that way, lol.

 

[bunnie82]

well he's 6'1 and cambodian and did i mention hot as hell? we talked a lot about different random things and i did get to know him better. i found out a few things that surprised me. and also a few things that turned me off. he made a lot of jokes about him being a broke college student. which is a major turn off. this is why i no longer date guys who are still in school. and that to me just put him in the friend zone bc i kno if we were to go out again i would have to pay for myself...AGAIN. lol.

i also felt like he made it a point to always disagree w. anything i asked of him. for example another MAJOR turn off was when he was going to recite his poetry. i asked him if he could recite it at the spot closer to the table so i can hear him better. he said "no," that he wanted to recite it at the spot other ppl were reciting it. i thought that was kind of gay and lame of him. if he really liked me he would've recited it closer to the table where i could hear him better. what would have been the harm in that? anyway i would hang out w. him again but i wouldnt want to date him.

ewwww....more turn-offs than turn-ons.....i wouldn't even be his friend!
it would have been nice/sweet of him to recite his poetry closer.....DUH!!!! what was his issue?! maybe he has a problem with people "telling him what to do"....
first date....he should be sweet as pie.....

 

[bunnie82]

Okay so last night I went to the neo-soul lounge like i was telling you about.....
I met two men that I would possibly be interested in....
i like one more than i like the other......the only thing is....the one that I like didn't take my number.....he gave me his.....on some flyer... wtf! he was totally my type.....tall....handsome... wellspoken.....geez.....

the other one is just "eh" to me.....and what i don't like about him is that he texts all damn day and won't pick up the phone and call me....hmmmm.....and i think he's young.....i didn;t even get a chance to ask his age.....i look very very very young for my age so i always gotta ask....guess i had too much champagne and forgot my own dang protocol....lol

 

[Imani]

Every dude I saw tonight was gay or super metro and uppity. Oh well, lol. I had fun, thats all that matters.

 

[Imani]

Ventured out into the city alone again to night for a happy hour. Proud of myself for getting out the house (almost didn't make it, had a major FAIL on my hair, stayed up half the night trying to fix it). Wow, it was overwhelming. I think I get what people say when they say "meat market". This place is supposed to be the spot, but I wasn't feeling it very much.

Oh well, goal is to get out at least once during the week and once on the wknd this summer. So that was my once for this week. Going to another happy hour tommorow so that will count for the wknd.

I am seeing that as an adult, socializing and getting out and meeting people really takes effort, u gotta take the time to plan and fit it into your schedule. Its real easy to get caught up in work, errands, and often you just wanna sit at the house and rest and chill, but you will never meet anyone if you don't make yourself venture out. And you have to get out ALOT to really meet a variety of people

 

[Imani]

Anyone out and about? I got a bunch of trainings and stuff I need to do for work, so haven't been going out as much, then I had a bad cold/sinus infection for a while.

A coworker mentioned the Omega thing up here in DC soon, but ummm, yeah, that just makes me think about college greek parties and I think I'm straight on that. (The que parties at my college were...interesting. I remember one of them walking up and biting my butt, just all types of foolishness, just not a good look).

 

[SurferBabe]

Hi ladies! Looks like I'll be joining this thread! I'm single and ready to mingle! 2012 is around the corner so I don't have much time left! I guess I will be officially starting this challenge Saturday because the rest of this workweek is busy for me. However, starting now I will try to make eye contact and smile at cute guys. Sigh...this is going to be so hard, wish me luck!

 

[Keshieshimmer]

Football season is almost here! Book your spots at the sports bars...(with your girfriends of course!)

 

[Do_Si_Dos]

Football season is almost here! Book your spots at the sports bars...(with your girfriends of course!)

Or without your girlfriends.......

 

[SuchMagnificent]

Or without your girlfriends.......

THIS
I love my BF's but they are in relationships and I need all the lil shine I can get..so go out ladies! Sit at the bar! Smile! Swang that hair! Gloss those lips! Reel them in!

Sent from my Sprint HTC Evo using Long Hair Care Forum App

 

[stephluv]

i've been doing this alot lately...takin lunch by myself and just enjoying me time but then again i've always been ready to mingle...now i'm ready to settle lol

 

[*SkolarStar*]

My homeboy who is from DC and moved back a year ago told me "oh, dc will LOVE you, you will get plenty of play". I am not sure why he thinks that and he claims its no where near as many gay men as atl.

I'm not even trying to date right now actually, really I just want to SEE some fine men at least, lol. If some actually holler thats just a bonus. I can't even think of the last time I even saw or was in the presence of a fine man.

THIS! I can't believe that I don't remember that last time I saw a fine man!

Well, I read through this entire thread and I will definitely be participating in the 2012 challenge. As of right now, I'm not ready with myself to get on the dating scene. Once I am in tune with "me" and survive this extra busy semester coming up, I'll be able to showcase myself better.

For the ladies going to bars and lounges alone, what do you do? Just sit at the bar and look pretty?

*taking notes*

 

[runwaydream]

so i went out last night. it was great bc i was the belle of the ball. which doesnt happen often so if you end up being the belle of the ball you have to eat that sh!t up while you can and talk to as many guys as possible. but just as i was getting warmed up during the let out, with the best wing girl you can ask for. i met this guy who would just NOT leave me alone. i mean i wasn't sure if i liked him or not so i just gave him my number and was ready to move on. but he wouldn't. no matter what i said the boy stuck to me like glue and wouldn't go away. he completely ruined my boy hunting night. it really angered me. anyway i hope to go out again tonight and hopefully i'll have the same luck.

 

[thatscuteright]

THIS
I love my BF's but they are in relationships and I need all the lil shine I can get..so go out ladies! Sit at the bar! Smile! Swang that hair! Gloss those lips! Reel them in!

Sent from my Sprint HTC Evo using Long Hair Care Forum App

Um what do you do if you don't drink, but still want to meet men ?

 

[Katherina]

Um what do you do if you don't drink, but still want to meet men ?

Girl! Order a cranberry juice at the bar! That's what I do when I don't feel like drinking but want to still have fun!

 

[Imani]

I've been busy with work lately, but next month I'm going to attempt to get out more. I've gone out with this guy I met like twice. He's fairly attractive, educated, right age, etc. But I don't see it going anywhere. Just one of those gut feeling kind of things.

 

[MzLady78]

Or without your girlfriends.......

I get more attention when I'm by myself than when I'm with other people.

 

[lushcoils]

Hey ladies,

I'm backing out of the challenge for the year. I've been to several events this summer and joined a couple of coed groups, and was never approached. Good luck to you all. Hope you find someone or good mingling before the holidays!

 

[SuchMagnificent]

Hey ladies,

I'm backing out of the challenge for the year. I've been to several events this summer and joined a couple of coed groups, and was never approached. Good luck to you all. Hope you find someone or good mingling before the holidays!

Aww..I wish you would reconsider...Ive been out pretty consistently, and even though I have been approached, I have yet to establish anything serious with anyone...but if you feel like its the right thing for you, then I wish you the best.



Sent from my Sprint HTC Evo using Long Hair Care Forum App