Single and Ready to Mingle: 2011 Edition!

[Katherina]

I'm watching this thread for when I do decide I'm ready to date. I'd like to start going out more (not even to date, for a social life period!), but my friends (love them for the most part but) here are boring.. I see that many of you ladies go out by yourselves. I would fear for my safety if I went out by myself at night. I could take a self defense class and carry mase, but I think I'd still feel ... uneasy. IDK.

 

[Imani]

I'm watching this thread for when I do decide I'm ready to date. I'd like to start going out more (not even to date, for a social life period!), but my friends (love them for the most part but) here are boring.. I see that many of you ladies go out by yourselves. I would fear for my safety if I went out by myself at night. I could take a self defense class and carry mase, but I think I'd still feel ... uneasy. IDK.

What city are you in? When I'm out, I'm usually in Atlanta, and I rarely ever feel scared. Just don't drink too much and have your guard up for suspicious characters and dark streets/alleys. I usually only have one drink, at most 2, enough to loosen up/have a buzz, but still be very alert and coherent. If you can afford it, go ahead and pay to valet or park up front so you won't have to walk a long way alone.

Side note: I actually took a self defense class recently and plan to take some more soon.

 

[LivingDol1]

an update on my socializing progress:

a friend and i are going to a speed dating event this sunday. we are not expecting much but it will be fun and we will be guaranteed to meet at least 15 new men... their level of quality is yet to be determined. it's an event for finance guys and fashion/PR girls.

right after work today, i met with a rep for a matchmaking service. i think our chat went well and i'm definitely interested in meeting men through their events. i'm going to give it a shot for sure and try to attend an event at least once or twice a month.

i'm looking forward to proactive February.

 

[VelvetRain]

I am going to a mixer type of event this evening through one of the new meetup groups I joined this week just to meet people in general. I still don't have a lot of friends here like I did back home. It's so hard meeting people in general you have stuff in common with when you get past 30. Everyone is so wrapped up in their own lives/existing friends.

 

[Imani]

I am going to a mixer type of event this evening through one of the new meetup groups I joined this week just to meet people in general. I still don't have a lot of friends here like I did back home. It's so hard meeting people in general you have stuff in common with when you get past 30. Everyone is so wrapped up in their own lives/existing friends.

Yep, sometimes it seems like everyone already has their set of girlfriends from high school or college. Or are boo'd up and super wrapped up in their men

However, I still think there are other women out there who are just like you in a new city looking for female friends, is just a matter of finding them.

 

[BobbieDoll]

So my friend introduced me to one of her co-workers. We have been out twice now and are supposed to go out again tonight. He wants to go to dinner and he is bringing his son and he suggested that I bring my son as well. I'm not sure how I feel about that just yet. I can see maybe letting our children have a playdate but his son is 6 and mine is 2. I think I may have to think this one through a little more.

 

[cheetarah1980]

Last week, I stumbled across a professional mixer that's held every 4th Friday about 10 minutes from my house. A girlfriend and I made a quick run to Houlihan's to pick up some takeout and walked in in the middle of the event. There were some good looking guys there, but we ducked out as soon as we got our food because I was soooo not dressed to be seeing anyone. Reason #12930847 to always leave the house looking presentable. And even while looking a busted hot mess some dude was giving me the eye. I just wanted disappear cause I did not want to be looked at in my sweats and timbs.
Next month I'll be sure to do my hair and put on something cute so I can attend.

 

[Imani]

Has anyone in Atlanta been to Jazz at the High Museum? The event thats every third Friday?

 

[zzirvingj]

Has anyone in Atlanta been to Jazz at the High Museum? The event thats every third Friday?

Me! I've been...twice. I really like it alot I meant to go to the last one with Ike Stubblefield but he plays at Blind Willies every now and then I believe, so I figured I could catch him another time.

I was just about to look and see who's gonna be there this month.

 

[Imani]

Me! I've been...twice. I really like it alot I meant to go to the last one with Ike Stubblefield but he plays at Blind Willies every now and then I believe, so I figured I could catch him another time.

I was just about to look and see who's gonna be there this month.

A friend of mine said that people come in groups or couples and no one really intermingles to talk to new people. Is that true? If I ever go to one I will be going alone.

 

[zzirvingj]

A friend of mine said that people come in groups or couples and no one really intermingles to talk to new people. Is that true? If I ever go to one I will be going alone.

It's hard for me to say b/c the first time I went I went with my cousin and a girlfriend. The second time I went on a date.

The first time was over the summer, and on our way out there was a group of 3 men coming in and one tried to talk to my girlfriend. So I definitely think there could be prospects there, but last time I went a couple of months ago, I did notice alot of couples and groups like your friend said. Personally I would say give it a shot

I think Cafe Circa or the Lobby at Twelve (if they're still doing events on Fridays) might be good spots to go alone and mingle. I plan on checking out Francine Reed @ CC later this month and perhaps Blind Willies or Northside Tavern for the first time for some blues....

 

[Lovelylife]

My college is predominately white and there's a speed dating event? Should I go?
I don't really know because people have so many hateful assumptions about black women.

 

[ixoyegodisgood]

My college is predominately white and there's a speed dating event? Should I go?
I don't really know because people have so many hateful assumptions about black women.

I say go and prove 'em wrong.

 

[Luvmycurl]

Is it too late to join?

 

[Ms Red]

I'm in Houston and I need to get out more often. *sigh*

 

[sapphire74]

This site are great if you want to get out and try new and different activities and resturants you've never been to or tried for a disounted price.

www.groupons.com

 

[MizAvalon]

Okay so I'm back from the party and . . . let's just say I'm not. quite. there. yet. It was way out of my comfort zone. I'm sorry but I just don't find the fun in standing around in a small, crowded space, listening to bad music, sipping on an overpriced drank , trying to look like I'm enjoying myself I was open and friendly for about a half hour, then the atmosphere got to me and I just shut down.

The one good thing is that there were TONS of men there . . . attractive, college educated guys with things going for themselves . . . I spoke to a few . . . but that's just it . . . *I* had to speak to them first. Not cool. Plus, these sisters were NOT playing. Here it is - a Wednesday night happy hour and these ladies show up in tiiiight, low-cut, party-until-Sunday-morning-walk-home-barefoot-cuz-my-heels-hurt outfits Yeah. Totally not for me . . . or at least, not right now.

I need to try something a little more low-key and build up to my next bar event . . . .

You're in DC right? DC women do not play around when they go out! The women to men ratio is bad so those chicks are cutthroat because competition is fierce.

 

[SuchMagnificent]

Single ladies please be somewhere watching the game...its primetime for picking

Sent from my Sprint HTC Evo using Long Hair Care Forum App

 

[youwillrise]

sooo...i have not "mingled" yet

a friend of mine who i've talked to a bit, but havent seen since HS graduation (almost 10 years ago) is playing a show in a couple weeks around here...maybe i'll go to that? although, the atmosphere (a bar) isnt really my cup of tea/comfort zone and i'm not sure whether or not there's a variety of different people who go to this place.

even if not for finding a "date"...i really need to get out more. i'm too socially...well...i'm not social at all. haha

 

[lushcoils]

Single ladies please be somewhere watching the game...its primetime for picking

Sent from my Sprint HTC Evo using Long Hair Care Forum App

Yea, I haven't been doing HW, so I got to play catch up today.

Lesson learned. Will stay ahead of work, so I can go out for March Madness season.

 

[Imani]

Single ladies please be somewhere watching the game...its primetime for picking

Sent from my Sprint HTC Evo using Long Hair Care Forum App

I live in the middle of nowhere, there won't be any superbowl parties/bars nearby to go to. It gets kinda old being limited based on my location, but oh well, I will just be patient, I am confident I will get to relocate soon.

I get tired of having to drive out of town to do anything, definitely puts me at a disadvantage for meeting people. I guess I feel like people won't be interested in getting to know me once they realize I live so far away. And there are a lot of events that would be great for meeting people that go on in the middle of the week, but I'm unable to attend. My goal was to get out at least once a month and I've been contemplating just saying forget it for this month.

 

[Lovelylife]

I'll be going to a speed dating event...
What do people wear to those?

 

[Reminiscing]

Are we allowed to post events that we know about in this thread? I don't want to break any forum rules.

I'm co-hosting a Game Night meets Speed Dating event happening in NYC this month. Let me know if I'm allowed to post details here. If not, please PM me for details.

I'm single and ready to mingle as well so I'm looking forward to the event even though I will be really busy.

 

[Reminiscing]

I'll be going to a speed dating event...
What do people wear to those?

I'm not the most stylish person but I've been speed dating before and I recommend wearing a skirt or a dress with heels. Attempt to be really cute but don't over do it, so nothing too revealing but not too conservative either. You want to appear interested in meeting someone but not overly eager.

Hope this helps! And, enjoy!

 

[Lovelylife]

I'm not the most stylish person but I've been speed dating before and I recommend wearing a skirt or a dress with heels. Attempt to be really cute but don't over do it, so nothing too revealing but not too conservative either. You want to appear interested in meeting someone but not overly eager.

Hope this helps! And, enjoy!

Thanks for the tips!

The speed dating was quite unsuccessful.
It's hard for an average looking black girl in these parts.

 

[chocolat79]

Has anyone in Atlanta been to Jazz at the High Museum? The event thats every third Friday?

I've been 3 or 4 times, never alone, BUT I have been waiting awhile on a friend, or ex and got chatted up a couple times.

I probably COULD go alone, but it's not as fun. There are plenty of couples and it's a mixed crowd.

 

[chocolat79]

Are we allowed to post events that we know about in this thread? I don't want to break any forum rules.

I'm co-hosting a Game Night meets Speed Dating event happening in NYC this month. Let me know if I'm allowed to post details here. If not, please PM me for details.

I'm single and ready to mingle as well so I'm looking forward to the event even though I will be really busy.

I think that's a great idea! I have at least one I know of going on in Atlanta, Feb. 19. Kind of a speed dating event. I've never been; it's sponsored by the Black male matchmaker. I'm sure the men will be outnumbered as usual

 

[SuchMagnificent]

Going to a biker mix and mingle tonight...Not really in the mood but I will try to put my best face forward and make the most of it. My extra single bestie is in a motorcycle group and she invited me...so I see now that Imma have to work the room and be social.
I hope to atleast make one friend tonight. Uggh, I just hate that it is absolutely freezing out here but Imma put on the skintight liquid leggings and hope for the best..
How You Doing?

 

[SuchMagnificent]

Thanks for the tips!

The speed dating was quite unsuccessful.
It's hard for an average looking black girl in these parts.

keep your head up...Thats why we post in here, to support and encourage each other..Dont let this deter you from going out again..Its been plenty of nights where Ive been unsuccessful, but you cant meet "him" or "them" sitting at home on the couch..If you feeling average, be daring with your hair or makeup, wear something out of the ordinary..Ive been stepping out of my comfort zone so much this year...I came to the conclusion that whatever energy Im putting out, is why I attract the men I do...So I have to do something different..Its been a challenge for me, but Im determined.

 

[Lovelylife]

keep your head up...Thats why we post in here, to support and encourage each other..Dont let this deter you from going out again..Its been plenty of nights where Ive been unsuccessful, but you cant meet "him" or "them" sitting at home on the couch..If you feeling average, be daring with your hair or makeup, wear something out of the ordinary..Ive been stepping out of my comfort zone so much this year...I came to the conclusion that whatever energy Im putting out, is why I attract the men I do...So I have to do something different..Its been a challenge for me, but Im determined.

You're right, I really shouldn't give up.
I just to try something different, I really appreciate the encouragement. I was feeling quite sad.