Sense and Sensuality ("Loving" Spinny)

TracyNicole said:
. I realized that part of why I allowed myself to be unhealthy and frumpy was a deep desire to hide from the world because of my insecurities. All of this work over the last several years was important to reconciling the inner me with the outer me I desire to be. I really think the two go hand in hand and if you want that outward display of confidence, you have to be at peace and fully vested in the inner you. When you are vibrantly happy and authentic it can't help but manifest to others as outgoing confidence and joy in life. I hope this makes sense!
Click to expand...

:goodpost:This is absolutely well said @TracyNicole and I can identify with that statement 100%! Personally, I notice that it is an ongoing process to maintain my reconciliation efforts within myself. I have to constantly be working on it otherwise I find myself drifting backwards a little bit. The other day I started to feel like I was"losing myself" a little...like I have to pump the breaks for a moment and press the reset button mentally and emotionally, and then the rest will fall into place thereafter. I've done it before and it's the best feeling ever, a feeling of authenticity within yourself. That's why I'm able to quickly detect when I'm not "feeling myself" because I was able to experience the taste of being in touch and content with my true core, that sense of inner peace.
Btw @TracyNicole If you don't mind can you please share your above thought in the "That Girl 2016" thread?
 
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Whew! It's been a struggle to get on here regularly. I apologize ladies. I broke down my goals by area of my life. This list is long ...I've already accomplished some of these since I created the list at the end of December. HTH!

Hair

Daily
Spray with moisturizer
Check for lint

Weekly
Shampoo
Roller set or braid out

Monthly
Deep condition or protein treatment
Retighten locks


Face
Cleaning
Wash 2x daily with gentle cleanser AM/PM
Cleaning oil makeup remover PM
Tinted moisturizer AM/ Moisturizer PM
Vitamin C AM/ Exfoliant PM

Grooming
Latisse
Monthly threading with Neha
Clarisonic 3x weekly
Weekly at home facial
-cleanse
-steam
-tone
-mask treatment

Nails
At home mani/pedi weekly
*If I use color on hands must be changed when it chips

Body

Diet/Exercise
Whole30
Slim in 6/21 Day Fix
Stretching 3x weekly
2L water

Skin
Dry brush
moisturize with AHA lotion
Brown sugar body scrub
Milk bath

Hair removal
Weekly Veet for legs
Monthly waxing for underarms and bikini

Supplements
ACV
gelatin
collagen
multi V
Oolong tea
fermented cod liver oil

Clothes/Accessories
Incorporate the following:
Dresses/skirts
Heels
Quality undergarments
Simple daily wear jewelry

Life

Spirituality
Attend mass at least twice monthly
Register for the Catholic Review
Reflect on daily readings

Finances
Keep written budget
Join CSA or buying club
Keep regular inventory of household goods

Femininity
Continue with readings/self study
Home management course?

Family
Resume weekly family meetings
Schedule family fun time
Baby #2?

Work
Attend one professional development opportunity
Merge work and personal calendars for efficiency
 
DH and I hit a rocky patch this year. I am determined to raise our son together. I found this thread which led me to Fascinating Womanhood. I was desperate for help because I knew I was doing something wrong but couldn't figure out how to fix it. DH said I had become too bossy, aggressive and angry. Can you imagine? I started reading and doing the excercises and they worked! I felt ridiculous doing them but his response was amazing. The first excercise I tried was masculine attributes. I wrote down on an index card the masculine qualities I love about him. The book made a point of the attributes being masculine. I don't have the cards close right now but I wrote short bullets. The book says men like brief sentences. I praised his strong hands, his problem solving skills, his ability to navigate terrain successfully. Then a few random words the book mentioned. He was overcome with emotion when I presented them to him. He could tell the difference between the ones that came from my heart and the book. Things with have improved dramatically. I got mad about something a few weeks ago and stopped living the advice. We began to argue again lol! I'm back on track now. It really does work!
 
I came accross this video today on How To Be Irresistible to Men. It was pretty long but I absolutely loved it. I listened to it on my drive home from work so it wasn't bad. If only I knew these things in my twenties....



"Some women have devoted adorers all their life, get lavish gifts from men, are always in good relationships and turn heads even at 70! While others prettier, more successful and intelligent women, seem to be unable to keep the attention of even one man!
In This Video Lada shares the esoteric and energy secret of these magnetic women-how to generate more energy into it and grow it consciously and what drains the source of feminine sexual power from a woman! Life Changing advice!
Powerful advice on how to develop your feminine power. What drains the female magnetic power "
 
@MsWowFactor

I clicked on the link and normally I can easily get distracted... But I listened to the whole hour immediately.
It was like it was for me personally. From beginning to the end.
I am just out of a 20 year relationship which should have ended actually 8 or 10 or more years ago...
And this had another explanation for why things were so wrong. And definitely also what I can do different for the future.

Loved it! Thanks for sharing!
 
LaBella said:
@MsWowFactor

I clicked on the link and normally I can easily get distracted... But I listened to the whole hour immediately.
It was like it was for me personally. From beginning to the end.
I am just out of a 20 year relationship which should have ended actually 8 or 10 or more years ago...
And this had another explanation for why things were so wrong. And definitely also what I can do different for the future.

Loved it! Thanks for sharing!
Click to expand...

I felt the same way when I listened to it. Other women said the same thing in the comments. So many black women are the bread winners in there household. I can see why our households are so disfunctional. The foundation is imbalanced. Our feminine magnetism is being depleted and we are becoming more masculine because we have to be the provider. That masculine energy starts to clash with the man's natural masculine energy and issues within the relationship start to build.

I listened to it twice and will probably listen to it again in the future. I'm excited about the next chapter in my life.
 
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Exactly!!!

I am doing therapy since 2 months. Just to understand myself better, and what kept me so long in a dysfunctional relationship.

And that I took soom of masculine roles already came up during therapy. I never realised.

I have been reading a lot and listening to a lot of podcasts lately on male and female relationships. And also came to the conclusion that if my ex was credible enough, I would have let him lead... But he wasn't, so I was leading...

Such good awareness for the future!!!
I am also excited about what's to come...

A little voice in me says, where are you going to meet him???
But I am so not ready to jump straight into the next thing after 20 years. So I ignore the voice and keep straight on my path of self exploration for now.

MsWowFactor said:
I felt the same way when I listened to it. Other women said the same thing in the comments. So many black women are the bread winners in there household. I can see why our households are so disfintional. The foundation is imbalanced. Our feminine magnetism is being depleted and we are becoming more masculine because we have to be the provider. That masculine energy starts to clash with the man's natural masculine energy and issues within the relationship start to build.

I listened to it twice and will probably listen to it again in the future. I'm excited about the next chapter in my life.
Click to expand...
 
LaBella said:
Exactly!!!

I am doing therapy since 2 months. Just to understand myself better, and what kept me so long in a dysfunctional relationship.

And that I took soom of masculine roles already came up during therapy. I never realised.

I have been reading a lot and listening to a lot of podcasts lately on male and female relationships. And also came to the conclusion that if my ex was credible enough, I would have let him lead... But he wasn't, so I was leading...

Such good awareness for the future!!!
I am also excited about what's to come...

A little voice in me says, where are you going to meet him???
But I am so not ready to jump straight into the next thing after 20 years. So I ignore the voice and keep straight on my path of self exploration for now.
Click to expand...

I love that. I want to focus on myself as well. When she spoke on having a creative career or doing what your passionate to increase feminity I really connected with that. I have a lot of feminine hobbies but felt blocked creatively for a while. Now I know why.
 
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^^ This can also apply women who grew up being responsible in the household. My mother came ro me for everything and still does...paperwork, letters,translation etc. Im used to being the problem solver and taking charge which trickled onto my relationships . As I grew older, I've become slighlty resentful and started to realize what i was doing. I have now began to pull back and allowing myself to recieve!!

Earlier today, my friend asked me if he could buy me food. My usual answer is no, but this time i said yed. I even felt slightly guilty. Its a learning process lol
 
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I went on a Salsa trip to Cuba recently and was super relaxed and enjoying myself both off and on the dance floor. Without even trying, I attracted the attention of the most attractive guy in our tour group. He was one of the Cuban tour guides and dance instructors. He was so good looking and he could dance really well. I didn't know how to deal because I'm used to being over looked seeing that I am overweight and black. The other women in the group were baffled cause they were bumping, twerking, grinding and buying drinks all night. WW are a premium in Cuba and everyone is always chasing after them because of money, visa and sex. These girls were super attractive with great bikini ready bodies.

Me on the other hand was cool as a cucumber, enjoying the music, never spent a dime on anyone and bought myself a bottle of water. He had began flirting with me during the day on the tour. I was hot, sweaty, zero make up and just shooting the breeze, wearing a random t shirt, capris, hair in a head scarf. Just plain chilling. I laughed and smiled back alot and didn't really take him seriously. In the evening at the concert, he was right beside me any chance he could get. I was all dolled up and he complimented me on how good I looked. I guess all that clawing behavior from tourists gets annoying after awhile. My ego was through the roof. I was the older chubbier girl with the hottest dude clamoring to dance with me and dance we did.

This experience made me feel so good. Guys like confident and relaxed women. I've always been insecure about my weight which I've been slowly losing. I'm learning to just look cute and let go. The following Sunday after I returned to Boston, my friend had a going away party and I got dolled up, smiled and spent alot of time being asked to dance. One guy came back twice and said how nice I looked. My friend told me that I came back from my trip a new woman.

I'm going to keep losing the weight, getting dolled up, relaxing and enjoying the new pep in my step.
 
okange76 said:
I went on a Salsa trip to Cuba recently and was super relaxed and enjoying myself both off and on the dance floor. Without even trying, I attracted the attention of the most attractive guy in our tour group. He was one of the Cuban tour guides and dance instructors. He was so good looking and he could dance really well. I didn't know how to deal because I'm used to being over looked seeing that I am overweight and black. The other women in the group were baffled cause they were bumping, twerking, grinding and buying drinks all night. WW are a premium in Cuba and everyone is always chasing after them because of money, visa and sex. These girls were super attractive with great bikini ready bodies.

Me on the other hand was cool as a cucumber, enjoying the music, never spent a dime on anyone and bought myself a bottle of water. He had began flirting with me during the day on the tour. I was hot, sweaty, zero make up and just shooting the breeze, wearing a random t shirt, capris, hair in a head scarf. Just plain chilling. I laughed and smiled back alot and didn't really take him seriously. In the evening at the concert, he was right beside me any chance he could get. I was all dolled up and he complimented me on how good I looked. I guess all that clawing behavior from tourists gets annoying after awhile. My ego was through the roof. I was the older chubbier girl with the hottest dude clamoring to dance with me and dance we did.

This experience made me feel so good. Guys like confident and relaxed women. I've always been insecure about my weight which I've been slowly losing. I'm learning to just look cute and let go. The following Sunday after I returned to Boston, my friend had a going away party and I got dolled up, smiled and spent alot of time being asked to dance. One guy came back twice and said how nice I looked. My friend told me that I came back from my trip a new woman.

I'm going to keep losing the weight, getting dolled up, relaxing and enjoying the new pep in my step.
Click to expand...

How was Cuba??
 
Haven't read through the full thread yet. I am reading the Sex secrets of an American Geisha. It's very interesting.

I used some of the tactics in the thread/book recently (unintentionally as I hadn't discovered this thread yet). The results were very beneficial. I probably would have been very resistant to the ideas otherwise.

There is one thing that he and I always get into. His communication style is very straight forward/assertive (to me who can be very sensitive). He made a comment that usually would lead to a huge dramatical argument and tension for the rest of the day. I heard it, acknowledged mentally that I didn't care for it, but didn't respond. It wasn't too bad (just completely thoughtless). We had a great rest of the day. Then later he mentioned that the second he said it he knew he shouldn't have (& didn't mean it the way t sounded) and he was very surprised that I didn't say anything back/blow up about it.

I've also been more vulnerable and sensual. Again, not b/c of the thread but seeing the huge difference.

Even reflecting on past relationships where I embraced the ideas/concepts despite dating very intelligent men who believe they are above wanting a woman who acts in traditional gender roles...they love it :-P

Should have paid more attention to their actions rather than the things they said.
 
prettywingsx said:
Haven't read through the full thread yet. I am reading the Sex secrets of an American Geisha. It's very interesting.

I used some of the tactics in the thread/book recently (unintentionally as I hadn't discovered this thread yet). The results were very beneficial. I probably would have been very resistant to the ideas otherwise.

There is one thing that he and I always get into. His communication style is very straight forward/assertive (to me who can be very sensitive). He made a comment that usually would lead to a huge dramatical argument and tension for the rest of the day. I heard it, acknowledged mentally that I didn't care for it, but didn't respond. It wasn't too bad (just completely thoughtless). We had a great rest of the day. Then later he mentioned that the second he said it he knew he shouldn't have (& didn't mean it the way t sounded) and he was very surprised that I didn't say anything back/blow up about it.

I've also been more vulnerable and sensual. Again, not b/c of the thread but seeing the huge difference.

Even reflecting on past relationships where I embraced the ideas/concepts despite dating very intelligent men who believe they are above wanting a woman who acts in traditional gender roles...they love it :p

Should have paid more attention to their actions rather than the things they said.
Click to expand...

I'm still working on that - I'm realizing that my husband's communication style is straight forward and direct as well, and I'm sensitive. I have reduced on my responding to EVERYTHING that bothers me.
 
okange76 said:
I went on a Salsa trip to Cuba recently and was super relaxed and enjoying myself both off and on the dance floor. Without even trying, I attracted the attention of the most attractive guy in our tour group. He was one of the Cuban tour guides and dance instructors. He was so good looking and he could dance really well. I didn't know how to deal because I'm used to being over looked seeing that I am overweight and black. The other women in the group were baffled cause they were bumping, twerking, grinding and buying drinks all night. WW are a premium in Cuba and everyone is always chasing after them because of money, visa and sex. These girls were super attractive with great bikini ready bodies.

Me on the other hand was cool as a cucumber, enjoying the music, never spent a dime on anyone and bought myself a bottle of water. He had began flirting with me during the day on the tour. I was hot, sweaty, zero make up and just shooting the breeze, wearing a random t shirt, capris, hair in a head scarf. Just plain chilling. I laughed and smiled back alot and didn't really take him seriously. In the evening at the concert, he was right beside me any chance he could get. I was all dolled up and he complimented me on how good I looked. I guess all that clawing behavior from tourists gets annoying after awhile. My ego was through the roof. I was the older chubbier girl with the hottest dude clamoring to dance with me and dance we did.

This experience made me feel so good. Guys like confident and relaxed women. I've always been insecure about my weight which I've been slowly losing. I'm learning to just look cute and let go. The following Sunday after I returned to Boston, my friend had a going away party and I got dolled up, smiled and spent alot of time being asked to dance. One guy came back twice and said how nice I looked. My friend told me that I came back from my trip a new woman.

I'm going to keep losing the weight, getting dolled up, relaxing and enjoying the new pep in my step.
Click to expand...

I love this testimony. My take home lessons: relax, smile, be more approachable, and try to look cute as much as possible.
 
MsWowFactor said:
I came accross this video today on How To Be Irresistible to Men. It was pretty long but I absolutely loved it. I listened to it on my drive home from work so it wasn't bad. If only I knew these things in my twenties....



"Some women have devoted adorers all their life, get lavish gifts from men, are always in good relationships and turn heads even at 70! While others prettier, more successful and intelligent women, seem to be unable to keep the attention of even one man!
In This Video Lada shares the esoteric and energy secret of these magnetic women-how to generate more energy into it and grow it consciously and what drains the source of feminine sexual power from a woman! Life Changing advice!
Powerful advice on how to develop your feminine power. What drains the female magnetic power "
Click to expand...



This lady is on point! She speaks the truth. Many things she said I know from experience. :sekret: I love this thread.
 
America is a very masculine country. I see many women emitting masculine energy on a daily basis. It's like we really have to be intentional to emit feminine energy, unless you were taught otherwise by a mom or mother figure. Powerful and Feminine talked about paying attention to your womb space. The video talked about strengthening your feminine chakra. Does anyone else do this? I notice that I feel more powerful feminine energy when I intentionally direct my energy there. I never thought about strengthening it until I saw the video. When she talked about squeezing the muscles, I physically felt energy being radiated from my womb up to the top of my head like a ray of sunshine. I've done kegels before but something was different this time. Maybe I'm just paying more attention this time but I definitely felt the energy. Anyone else intentionally focus on their womb space?
 
For the first time in my life, one of my closest friends told me that I am such a girl and it felt good. I always thought I was so manly and standoffish. I found out that wearing bright colors that compliment my skin tone make me look and feel beautiful and radiant. I went out on a date last week and wore this pretty green top with matching green earrings. A woman on the street complimented me in front of my date on how the color looked beautiful on me. I was so calm, relaxed and carefree and he was torn between being enamored and a little awkward. Poor man was struggling and I was laughing on the inside enjoying every bit of it.

I am discovering a softer side of myself and I love it but at the same time I'm a little afraid of it because men are responding to it. I'm not used to this but at the same time my ego is through the roof because for the longest time, I have felt very unattractive. I'm still struggling with my weight but that doesn't seem to bother the fellas. If it doesn't bother them, then it shouldn't bother me except for health reasons only. Another plus is that my hair has almost all grown back after a major set back in 2012. I finally wore it down and all my friends were amazed because it is always in a tucked in pony tail or I'm wearing crochet braids. I almost back to my avatar and I plan on growing it even longer. Being girly is not so bad after all.
 
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