Ladies in relationships with white men - what kind of reaction do you get in public?

[Raspberry]

Re: Ladies in relationships with white men - what kind of reaction do you get in publ

Hell they get mad when I'm just out with a friend...

I have a few friends that just so happen to be white males whom I have no romantic interest in whatsoever...

But if two of us are out together we get looks...of course it depends on where we are...

Yep, when I'm out and about with white male friends or co-workers the reactions are very noticeable.. possibly cause I'm pretty dark the contrast sticks out that much more.

I remember I was in the grocery store with a few white guys and this fine brotha was checkin me out before he saw who was with.. then he gave me this pained look. I was feelin all "wait..but.. come back"

 

[Bunny77]

Re: Ladies in relationships with white men - what kind of reaction do you get in publ

I remember I was in the grocery store with a few white guys and this fine brotha was checkin me out before he saw who was with.. then he gave me this pained look. I was feelin all "wait..but.. come back"

For some reason, I pictured you saying this in that voice Kate Winslet used in Titanic when she saw the boat going away and she was trying to call out to it... but it kept going away!

(I'm in a silly mood. Just ignore me!)

 

[Raspberry]

Re: Ladies in relationships with white men - what kind of reaction do you get in publ

For some reason, I pictured you saying this in that voice Kate Winslet used in Titanic when she saw the boat going away and she was trying to call out to it... but it kept going away!

(I'm in a silly mood. Just ignore me!)

it was definitely like that, then I felt a little salty towards my guy friend - naw you don't have to carry my bags to the car *sigh* lol..

 

[Jada]

Re: Ladies in relationships with white men - what kind of reaction do you get in publ

I am friends with a white guy and we're always going out to eat or to the club and people usually don't pay us any mind. Except for the first time we went out. We were walking around downtown and this homeless-looking black guy said I should get myself a real man. I just lol'ed in my head.

 

[shelli4018]

Re: Ladies in relationships with white men - what kind of reaction do you get in publ

I've never noticed anyone staring or being rude when my hubby and I are together. If they did I wouldn't notice anyway. I'm too busy living life and chasing my kids to care.

 

[chocolat79]

Re: Ladies in relationships with white men - what kind of reaction do you get in publ

We're in ATL and have never really had any issues. I've never seen white girls give us a second look. White men tend to be a lot "friendlier" when we're together. Black men will often give a double take (but men looked when I was with my ex...who is black) so it's all the same to me. And black women don't really too much care.

I had an older white lady stop me in the parking lot one day and say, "Your husband is so handsome. I hope you don't mind me saying it." It was so cute. He was my SO at the time, but I just said, "Thank you."

I agree with the bolded, but we did get dirty looks from WW, quite a bit actually.

Also, I remember this one incident where my ex-SO (white), my good friend (BW) and I all went to a Spanish tapas place. We sat outside (me beside ex-SO and my friend across from me), it was cold and this waiter, a BM, was being uber accommodating to me. I mean, I mentioned (to my ex), that I was cold, do you know that this waiter (who I didn't even know heard me), pulled the gas lamp so close to me, I couldn't hardly get outta my seat? It was just bizarre. He didn't pay ANY mind to my beautiful, SINGLE friend and was being so extra with me. Also got looks from an older BM who looked to be with his wife. Dude, why do you EVEN care who I'm dating?

BTW, I'm in ATL too.

 

[SW2011]

Re: Ladies in relationships with white men - what kind of reaction do you get in publ

It's interesting to see all these responses from women in Atlanta. My FH's parents were so worried about us being an interracial couple in the South. In fact, my FH's family friends asked about it, too. They're on the West Coast so they have no idea.

 

[january noir]

Re: Ladies in relationships with white men - what kind of reaction do you get in publ

It may depend on the area you're in...

But let me say this....

I don't know if people look or glare at me and my SO because frankly....

I DON'T CARE!!!!!!!!!!!!!​

They can kiss my wide behind!

Seriously.

I can't say because I really don't care what anyone thinks, black, white or indifferent. I really don't.

 

[BillsBackerz67]

Re: Ladies in relationships with white men - what kind of reaction do you get in publ

I on occasion got looks, but then again I really dont pay attention or try to find someone who has a problem with it. Im talking to a black man now, and Im finding Im getting wayyyy more stares with him than anyone before. A huge chunk of has to do with him being from the UK and people in country arse Buffalo are fascinated by the way he speaks and dresses Im not though. I think thats why he likes me

 

[MrsHdrLe]

Re: Ladies in relationships with white men - what kind of reaction do you get in publ

People usually just compliment us as a "nice looking couple" and I somtimes say, "couple of whats?" They usually laugh at that and make friendly. We live in So. Cali, near Santa Monica/Venice.

Do you find a difference in reactions/responses when you and your SO are pregnant or married? Just curious b/c in the past someone said to me, "Yeah he'll mess around with you, but never take you home to mom's." That really stung then and ccaused some issues in that relationship ( I chalk it up to immaturity), but ya'll see where I'm going?

 

[january noir]

Re: Ladies in relationships with white men - what kind of reaction do you get in publ

In my experience most people don't give a flyin' fig.

Not to be too flip, some people struggle being in an interracial relationship and some don't. It depends on many variables. If you are a self conscious person in general, you will be self conscious in a relationship, especially with someone who doesn't look like you.

Look.

In the end of your life, will you say, "I lived my life as I saw fit" or will you say, "I lived my life according to what others think, feel or say?"

 

[Vintageglam]

Re: Ladies in relationships with white men - what kind of reaction do you get in publ

People usually just compliment us as a "nice looking couple" and I somtimes say, "couple of whats?" They usually laugh at that and make friendly. We live in So. Cali, near Santa Monica/Venice.

Do you find a difference in reactions/responses when you and your SO are pregnant or married? Just curious b/c in the past someone said to me, "Yeah he'll mess around with you, but never take you home to mom's." That really stung then and ccaused some issues in that relationship ( I chalk it up to immaturity), but ya'll see where I'm going?

Angiet didn't realise that FH was white - btw you guys tied the knot yet?

 

[mrselle]

Re: Ladies in relationships with white men - what kind of reaction do you get in publ

I grew up on a military base, so interacial relationships were not uncommon. At my high school there were many interacial couples and I dated a white guy during my senior year. No one ever said a word about it. It was almost the norm. On the other hand, during my senior year of college I became good friends with a co-worker who happened to be white. One day he and I were just hanging out in the mall. Just the sight of us walking in the mall (not holding hands or anything) really seemed to rub some people the wrong way. At one point we stopped in a store and I overheard an African-American lady say to her boyfriend/husband, "Look at this mess." She was referring to me and my friend. She just assumed that we were dating because we were hanging out together.

 

[phynestone]

Re: Ladies in relationships with white men - what kind of reaction do you get in publ

In my experience most people don't give a flyin' fig.

Not to be too flip, some people struggle being in an interracial relationship and some don't. It depends on many variables. If you are a self conscious person in general, you will be self conscious in a relationship, especially with someone who doesn't look like you.

Look.

In the end of your life, will you say, "I lived my life as I saw fit" or will you say, "I lived my life according to what others think, feel or say?"

This is the motto by which I try to live my life. Thanks for posting.

 

[Harina]

Re: Ladies in relationships with white men - what kind of reaction do you get in publ

I grew up on a military base, so interacial relationships were not uncommon. At my high school there were many interacial couples and I dated a white guy during my senior year. No one ever said a word about it. It was almost the norm. On the other hand, during my senior year of college I became good friends with a co-worker who happened to be white. One day he and I were just hanging out in the mall. Just the sight of us walking in the mall (not holding hands or anything) really seemed to rub some people the wrong way. At one point we stopped in a store and I overheard an African-American lady say to her boyfriend/husband, "Look at this mess." She was referring to me and my friend. She just assumed that we were dating because we were hanging out together.

Where on earth was this school?

I on occasion got looks, but then again I really dont pay attention or try to find someone who has a problem with it. Im talking to a black man now, and Im finding Im getting wayyyy more stares with him than anyone before. A huge chunk of has to do with him being from the UK and people in country arse Buffalo are fascinated by the way he speaks and dresses Im not though. I think thats why he likes me

Buffalo is hella country though, isn't it? Why did I go to NY thinking everything was all cosmopolitan and urban.


The only time I recall getting stared at was when I was out with my white guy friend. We were at a Farmer's Market and we went to a store that was situated inside. I didn't have to get anything but my friend did. When he was at the register, I just stood off to the side. When my friend had been rung up, the cashier looked at me and asked what I had gotten (to check out). I said, "No, I'm with him" pointing to my friend. His eyes lit up and he just kept on looking at my friend then me then my friend then me. It was a little weird.

Most of the time I'm in a little dream world so I don't think I would ever notice anybody staring at me. I try not to submit to the power of the gaze in any aspect of my life.

 

[IrisDaVirus]

Re: Ladies in relationships with white men - what kind of reaction do you get in publ

I notice stares on occasion but I don't really give a damn. I'm too concerned with keeping up a stable life for the sake of our collective family existence. And the people who have a problem with us are almost always too up in their own right for me to give a damn about them.

 

[BlackMasterPiece]

Re: Ladies in relationships with white men - what kind of reaction do you get in publ

Wow, yea I always knew it but this thread confirms it, i just get exaggerated reactions from men across the board black white or inbetween. A coupla weeks ago I was at a lounge and a couple of guys both BM wanted to talk to me. One was super persistent and really went hard, the other one was trying to play it cool....I didn't care either way....and they almost came to blows because one of them told the other that I was his girlfriend so back up....I had just met them that night

Any time I'm walking down the street especially if I'm wearing something that hugs my curves I get over-the-top reactions.

So when I'm seen with white colleagues it *really* sets Black guys off not even holding hands or hugging either...like REALLY they get really bold with it, asking the guy can he really handle all that one actually pointed to my booty I kinda wanted to laugh at the boldness One time it was actually scary because the guys were getting angrier and angrier and we were on the train.

But I think the stockier/more important the guy seems the less inclined people will be to get reckless. I was with a white colleague once that was *really* feelin me and just by looking at him you can tell he has power...nobody said a word but average joe white guy...whew!erplexed.....I think I just get territorial reactions in general.....it is a bit amplified if I'm seen with a white guy though....

 

[MusicandWine]

Re: Ladies in relationships with white men - what kind of reaction do you get in publ

I remember one black woman standing in Bryant park staring with her eyes all big and mouth literally hanging wide open. It was the strangest stare I had ever seen, kinda scary looking too.

A black guy passing in the opposite direction came up behind us and asked if we liked black people. I guess once he passed us he just couldn't let us get away without asking a question that reflected more on him than us.

A black guy outside of the Empire state building was trying to sell some crap and my husband kept walking without paying him any mind and the guy yelled that I shouldn't let him disrespect a brother like that. I had to laugh, what was I supposed to do?

Now that we live in whitey white land we get looks where ever we go. Some old white woman walking in the mall with a walker saw us and looked like she saw death or something. She stopped in her place and her mouth fell open as her eyes followed us, so I mimicked her by opening my mouth wide and putting the same look on my face.

 

[Britt]

Re: Ladies in relationships with white men - what kind of reaction do you get in publ

I've often wondered this... I'd imagine you get a lot of stares and comments ... personally, it would prob make me feel very uncomfortable and would take some time getting use to. I always thought this if I ever got w/a white guy... I'd hope that some ignorant negro would try and 'test' my man . However, if I were to get w/ a white dude, he'd be one of the types to def hold his own .

 

[BrickbyBrick]

Re: Ladies in relationships with white men - what kind of reaction do you get in publ

Hey glib,
Just laughing at the "dutch chocolate" nickname. Made me smile.

Ninety percent of my coworkers are white men and we eat out all the time. More negative reactions from black men than any other race/gender.

I just laugh it off. the whole thing is just too stupid. Like, seriously, really? You're hangin on the street with a joint in between your lips and pants below the crack of your a**. And you're worried about who I'm eating with? Brotha please go sitdown (and pull your pants up).

 

[blkbeauty]

Re: Ladies in relationships with white men - what kind of reaction do you get in publ

I live in Baltimore County and we get stares and comments from Black and White. Mainly from Black Women and White Men.

This is my take on it...most White men stare, because its unusual to see that combo in Baltimore. On the otherhand, Baltimore has a very bi-racial mix commonly amongst BW and WW.

Black women stare for whatever reason that I am still trying to figure out.

White Women, don't stare and I guess they don't have to...BM & WM worship the ground they walk on despite the way they look and some BW seem to want to look like them with the blue/green contact lenses and blonde extension...(SORRY if I offend anyone).

I am from DC though (hubby is from Bmore) when we go visit DC, we usually don't get any stares at all.

OT, I like Baltimore, but do not like its backwards thinking. Since I moved here in 2007, I can't tell you how although the Black people are nice...some (the ones that I've met) wear being black as if it was a curse IMHO and the Whites are sometime very shallow and bold. They will call a Black person every derrogatory name in the book and we just brush it off and laugh. Thank God my DH and his family are different.

Its a big difference from growing up in Chocolate City (DC).

 

[honeycomb719]

Re: Ladies in relationships with white men - what kind of reaction do you get in publ

We get the occassional looks here and there. We get most attention tho when we are in the resturant eating. Thats when you really catch people looking, some try to play if off like they looking at my DD, but I be watching em...
Never had anyone said anything rude. My hubby is one fiesty Italian, so I would hate to see the day someone did. We'll be one ***-whoopin tag-team...lol.

 

[MusicandWine]

Re: Ladies in relationships with white men - what kind of reaction do you get in publ

Hey glib,
Just laughing at the "dutch chocolate" nickname. Made me smile.

Ninety percent of my coworkers are white men and we eat out all the time. More negative reactions from black men than any other race/gender.

I just laugh it off. the whole thing is just too stupid. Like, seriously, really? You're hangin on the street with a joint in between your lips and pants below the crack of your a**. And you're worried about who I'm eating with? Brotha please go sitdown (and pull your pants up).

Too funny. It's mostly the ones who look like they haven't got much going on hootin' and hollerin', wearing a beanie hat and a bubble coat in 90 degree weather.

 

[Christelyn]

Re: Ladies in relationships with white men - what kind of reaction do you get in publ

Glib, I have to say that stares do indeed come with the territory. I got them, get them, will get them again. But! You grow thicker skin, and the more comfortable your are with Dutch, the more that confidence will be picked up on by others.

As for brothers staring and making stupid arse comments and trying to hit on women with their white BF are just like a bunch of dogs peeing on you--they're trying to mark territory. But hell, they ain't bringing and putting a ring on it. They're displeasure, I believe, is less about loyalty to the race and more about losing the control over one less black woman they can exploit. SMDH. Do your thing, girl. Put blinders on and don't let that negativity trickle into your relationship with someone, at least from how I read it, absolutely adores you. Period. End. of. Sentence.

 

[Christelyn]

Re: Ladies in relationships with white men - what kind of reaction do you get in publ

Dang ya'll! I must live in a bubble!

 

[Glib Gurl]

Re: Ladies in relationships with white men - what kind of reaction do you get in publ

Interesting range of responses!

Now that we live in whitey white land we get looks where ever we go. Some old white woman walking in the mall with a walker saw us and looked like she saw death or something. She stopped in her place and her mouth fell open as her eyes followed us, so I mimicked her by opening my mouth wide and putting the same look on my face.

I am imagining that . . . what did she do when you did that? *lol*

I am from DC though (hubby is from Bmore) when we go visit DC, we usually don't get any stares at all.

OT, I like Baltimore, but do not like its backwards thinking. Since I moved here in 2007, I can't tell you how although the Black people are nice...some (the ones that I've met) wear being black as if it was a curse IMHO and the Whites are sometime very shallow and bold. They will call a Black person every derrogatory name in the book and we just brush it off and laugh. Thank God my DH and his family are different.

Its a big difference from growing up in Chocolate City (DC).

See, we are in DC (well just outside of DC in MoCo) and we still get rude looks and stares . . . in DC proper, not so much, though.

But I think the stockier/more important the guy seems the less inclined people will be to get reckless. I was with a white colleague once that was *really* feelin me and just by looking at him you can tell he has power...nobody said a word but average joe white guy...whew!erplexed.....I think I just get territorial reactions in general.....it is a bit amplified if I'm seen with a white guy though....

Hmm . . . maybe THAT is why no one has said anything . . . Dutch Chocolate is always dressed to the nines and you can tell that he's a business person . . . also we are both mature and carry ourselves as such so it's not like we're two young kids just playing around. Still, we do get looks, mostly because we ARE an odd looking couple. We are like:

 

[Bunny77]

Re: Ladies in relationships with white men - what kind of reaction do you get in publ

Now see Glib, you ain't right!

 

[BlackMasterPiece]

Re: Ladies in relationships with white men - what kind of reaction do you get in publ

Girl you funny...........you're kidding....right?

 

[Glib Gurl]

Re: Ladies in relationships with white men - what kind of reaction do you get in publ

you're kidding....right?

Uh, yes and no . . . Dutchie is a nerdy white guy with glasses . . . Me? I'm not exactly like LaFawnduh, but with my body being what it is, I am unmistakably, undeniably a black woman

 

[BlackMasterPiece]

Re: Ladies in relationships with white men - what kind of reaction do you get in publ

Well, what matters is you two are happy, I love your blog posts on your relationship hope to be making similar posts once summer hits